Driving Sideways
by GCatsPjs
Summary: Sequel to 'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear' Mer/Der
1. Introduction

**The following story is a sequel to the 'critically acclaimed' fic 'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.'**

You may want to read that one first... but it's not necessary.

And now... I present... 'Driving Sideways'

Driving Sideways- Aimee Mann

At least you know  
you were taken by a pro  
I know just how you feel  
She talked a perfect game  
deflecting all the blame  
you took the jack  
and changed the flat  
and got behind the wheel--  
now you're  
Driving sideways  
taken in by the scenery  
as you're propelled along  
And your companion  
will not help you to navigate  
for fear she may be wrong

And you will say  
that you're making headway  
and put it in overdrive  
but you're mistaking speed  
for getting what you need  
and never even noticing  
you never do arrive  
cause you're  
Driving sideways  
if you roll down the window you'll see  
you're where you don't belong  
And your companion  
will not help you to navigate  
for fear she may be wrong

And you're powered by  
the hopeful lie  
that it's just around the bend  
and when this, by default  
comes screeching to a halt  
let's hope that you  
know what to do  
to start it up again

Driving sideways  
hitting scan on the radio  
so she can sing along  
and she'll sit  
thinking you're going to handle it  
until she's proven wrong  
until she's proven wrong  
until you prove her wrong


	2. Morning

Chapter 1- Morning

Chapter 1- Morning

The two little boys sat at the dining room table with their bowls of cereal in front of them. The older of the two was scowling at his nearly three year old brother angrily. "Stop… repeating me!" He exclaimed loudly.

"Stop repeating me!" The younger boy giggled in a loud voice as he grinned at his brother.

"I said stop!"

"I said stop!" The little boy giggled.

"Greyson!"

"Greyson!"

"Greyson Butthead Shepherd!"

"That is not my name!"

"Ha! You can't repeat me anymore!"

"Ha! You can't repeat me anymore!" The younger boy shouted as he ducked as his older brother started to stand on his chair. "MOMMY!" The younger boy screeched as he climbed under the table.

"Richard Michael Shepherd, what are you doing standing on the furniture!" Meredith exclaimed as she walked into the kitchen.

"He won't stop repeating me!" He exclaimed angrily as he pointed under the table at his brother.

"He's gonna hit me!" Greyson shouted as he rolled into a ball under the table.

"He will not hit you… Grey, get out from under the table…" Meredith said as she pulled the chair out.

"He's gonna hurt me, mommy…" Greyson whimpered.

"Richie, sit down please… eat your cereal…" Meredith said to her older son as he sighed and shook his head.

"He's more trouble than he's worth…" Richie sighed as he sat down on his chair, watching his mother glare, he averted his gaze.

"Richie, that's enough." Meredith said as she glanced back under the table. "Grey… please come out…"

"No." He whimpered. "I don't want to."

"Please, baby…?" Meredith said as she knelt down on the floor. "Can mommy come see you?"

"No." He whimpered. "I don't need mommy… just Snuggles bear." He sighed.

"Snuggles bear is upstairs…come see mommy and we'll go get Snuggles bear and you can bring him to daycare."

"Mommy, can you go get Snuggles bear… I think I'll stay here…" he whimpered.

"Big baby…" Richie muttered.

"Richard… that's enough…" Meredith scolded. "Go upstairs and get your brother's bear."

"But my cereal will be all soggy…" Richie whined.

"Well, then your cereal will be soggy… go get the bear… and do not put it in the toilet again…" Meredith said as she gave her son a pointed look.

"He needed a bath…" Richie shrugged as he hopped from his chair and ran for the door.

"And no running, Richie!" Meredith called as she watched him slow down for a moment, only to take off running through the house again.

Meredith sat down beside the chair, watching as her son clung to one of the table legs as he curled into a tighter ball. "Greyson, you can't let him get to you like this, buddy."

"He hits me…"

"Sweetheart, he won't hit… not while mommy is around…" She shook her head as she reached her hand out to him. "Here, baby… take mommy's hand…" She said as she held her hand out to him. "Come on, big boy… take mommy's hand.

"Mama…" he whimpered as he squeezed tighter.

Meredith crawled beneath the table and carefully grabbed her son's hands, slowly peeling them from the table leg. She held him in her arms as he slowly relaxed. "It's alright, baby…" Meredith whispered as her son stuck his finger in his mouth as she heard Richie coming into the kitchen.

"Here's your stupid bear…" He said as he swung the bear, his arm being grabbed by his mother as she let the bear fall to the ground. Richie tried to pull away, but Meredith's grip was too tight. He knelt down and looked her in the eyes.

"What did I just hear you say?" Meredith asked.

"I said, here's your bear… that's all I said…"

"I am pretty sure that I heard you say 'stupid' bear… is that what you said?"

"No, mommy…" Richie lied as he turned his head. "No… no, I didn't say…"

"If I find out you're lying to me… then you won't get to see GG today…"

"I…" Richie stammered as he looked at the serious look in his mother's eyes. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I called the bear stupid…" He sighed as he looked to his brother as he pouted in his mother's arms.

"Good." Meredith said as she released her son's arm. "Now go get your coat on and sneakers on so that mommy can get to work…" She said with a frustrated sigh as Richie took off running out of the room.

Meredith lifted the faded bear from the floor, carefully nestling it in her son's arms as he snuggled it. "Here you go, baby… here's your Snuggle bear." She said softly as she kissed his forehead softly and carefully slipped herself and Greyson from beneath the table as she worked on getting him ready for daycare.

--

Meredith wrangled the two boys into the car and made her way through the traffic to the hospital, and like every morning, she listened to the chatter of her two boys as they talked happily.

"Mama… can I color a picture for you today?" Greyson asked as he kicked his feet from his carseat.

Meredith glanced in the rearview mirror and smiled at her beaming son as he tilted his head, snuggling his favorite bear against him. "Of course you can, sweetheart."

"You can't color a picture for mommy, I'm coloring a picture for mommy… you can color a picture for… um… for daddy!" Richie said as he poked his brother.

"No… no, I'm coloring a picture for mama… Mama said I could…"

"Mama doesn't like your pictures, they're scribbles and poopy…"

"Richard." Meredith said with a warning tone.

"Fine…" He sighed. "You can color a picture for mommy…" He shook his head. "But mine will be better."

"No… no, mine will be better…" Greyson said softly as he glanced to Meredith, who winked at him in the rearview mirror. A bright smile lit up his face and he heard his mother giggle. He giggled a little and glanced to Richie.

"What are you laughing at?" Richie asked as he pushed his brother a little.

"Nothing…" Greyson replied as he giggled harder.

"You're a stupid head…"

"Richard…" Meredith said with an angry voice. "What did I say about using that word?"

"Um…say it quietly so you can't hear it?"

"That's it…You're going right to the time out chair when you get to daycare…I don't know what has gotten into you…"

"No…." Richie whined.

"Then you have to be have… stop calling your brother names…" Meredith said with a sigh as she leaned her head back as she kept her eyes on the road.

"Stupid is better than his real name…" Richie grumbled.

"Richie…"

"Mommy says you were named after GG…" Richard said with a laugh as he giggled at his brother. "You were named after a girl!"

"No I wasn't!" Greyson exclaimed.

"Yes you were! HAHAHAHA!" He laughed uproariously.

"Stop! Stop! I was not! I was not! I was not! Mommy!" Greyson started to cry as he tried to hit Richie with his bear.

"Greyson, stop crying… Richie, leave him alone!" Meredith exclaimed with an exaggerated sigh. "Boys! Please!"

"I was named after a king, right, mommy?" Richard asked. "I was named after Daddy's daddy, right?"

"You were named after daddy's pet pig." Meredith said as she noticed that she had gotten Greyson's attention.

"What?" Richie asked as he glanced to his mother, his eyes wide with shock.

"Yep… you were named after your daddy's favorite pet pig…" Meredith said. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way…" She said with a straight face as she winked at Greyson again who started to giggle.

"Oink! Oink!" Greyson exclaimed.

"Stop!" Richie complained, covering his ear.

"Oink… Oink…" Greyson snickered with a giggle as Meredith laughed at him pushing his nose to make a piggy face.

"Alright…" Meredith giggled as she pulled into the parking lot. "We're here…" She sighed. "Thank… God…"

"There's daddy!" Richie exclaimed, watching the familiar dark haired man standing on the curb beside the hospital as he watched her pull the car up. Her smile was bright and happy as she rolled down her window.

"Hi Daddy! Hi daddy! Hi! Hi!" The two boys exclaimed from their seats as Derek walked to the other side of the car and leaned down into the window.

"Alright, boys… sit back…" Derek said with a sweet smile as he leaned in the window. "How is my queen…?" He asked as she leaned forward and kissed his lips.

"I'm… exhausted and the day hasn't even begun…" Meredith sighed.

"Having problems with the villagers?"

"I hate when you're on call…" She sighed as she tilted her head.

"I hate it too… I don't like leaving you alone with those two monsters!" He exclaimed, hearing growls and giggles from the back seat. "Why don't you let me take them into daycare for you… and you can park the car and go right up to the locker room…"

"That would be nice…" She said as she smiled sweetly at him, leaning forward for another kiss. "I love you…"

"Love you back…" He said with a low growl as he heard the two kids in the back seat making throw up noises.

"Alright, monster one and monster two…" Derek said as he shook his head and stepped back. He opened the back door and watched as Richie pulled his seatbelt off.

"I'm monster one!" Richie exclaimed.

"No! I'm monster one!" Greyson exclaimed from his car seat as he struggled with the latch. Derek grabbed Richie's hand and unlatched his younger son, helping him crawl across to his arms, where he lifted him up and pulled him out of the car.

"Note to self… do not number them…" Derek laughed as he heard Meredith giggle. He took a step back, Greyson in his arms and Richie with his hand as he leaned the little boy forward. "Kisses for mommy…" He said as Greyson lay a sloppy kiss on her cheek as she touched his cheek and told him to be a good boy.

Richie leaned up and kissed his mother's cheek as she leaned down to him. "I'll see you boys at lunch…"

"Yeah!" Richie exclaimed as Derek took his hand and winked at Meredith.

"We'll see you in a little while…" He said with a smile as he walked around the car with the two boys.

They were just walking up the long sidewalk towards the hospital when Richie turned to his father. "Daddy… who was I named after?" Richie asked.

"My pet duck…" Derek said without missing a beat, listening to his son's giggle.

"Quack!" The three of them exclaimed at the same time as they entered the building together.


	3. Long Day

Chapter 2- Long Day

Derek shifted Greyson in his arms as he carried him towards the elevator. Richie held his father's hand and waved to the nurse behind the counter. "Hi Richie…" She said with a smile as she saw the little boy waving toward her. "Hi Grey…" She said with a smile towards Derek and Greyson.

"Hi Nurse Amy…" Richie said with a sweet smile as he squeezed his eyes tightly. Derek gave his son a strange look as he pulled him into the elevator. The doors closed slowly and Derek looked down at his son.

"What was that back there?" Derek asked with a humored smile.

"What was what?" Richie asked.

"The eye thing… what was that all about?"

"I was winking at nurse Amy… she's so very…HOT!" Richie exclaimed with a grin.

Derek shook his head as the elevator door opened on the floor of the daycare and Derek chuckled. "You are so going to be reducing the time that you spend with your uncle Mark…Do you even know what 'hot' means when you're referring to a woman?" He asked his son who looked up at him, his blue eyes sparkling as he thought for a second.

"Does she got a fever?" He asked, shrugging.

Derek sputtered a little as he tried not to laugh. "Yeah…" He said as he shook his head. "She… she has a fever…" He said as he sighed and stepped out of the elevator with a laugh.

He walked down towards the daycare and Richie ran ahead and grabbed the doorknob, looking back at his father. "Go on in…" Derek nodded as Richie turned the doorknob and opened it wide as Derek jogged to catch up with him, entering the room as Richie continued inside. He stepped up to the counter and smiled as he lifted his youngest son onto the counter. "Two Shepherds for delivery…" He said with a smirk to the woman behind the counter.

"Hi Doctor Shepherd." She said with a smile.

"Hey, Candy…" He said as he watched Richie wander into the daycare room. "Their mother should be down to get them for lunch… and I'll be down at two to get them for the day…" Derek said as he pulled Greyson's coat from his shoulders.

"On call again?" The woman asked as she took the coat from Derek and watched him nod.

"You got it…" He said with a smile. "But it's alright, it means I get to spend more awake time with the boys…"

"Daddy's fun when he's awake…" Greyson said as he poked his father's nose and giggled as Derek's eyes widened with a funny face. "Grumpy when he's sleepy…" He giggled.

"You're grumpy when you're sleepy too, G-man…" Derek said as he tickled his son a little and lifted him from the counter and set him to the floor.

"I'm cute when I'm grumpy…" Greyson said with a smile. "That's what mommy says…"

"Mommy's always right…" Derek nodded his head. "Never forget that…" He said as he handed his son his teddy bear. "Now go on into the room with Miss Candy…" Derek said as he rubbed his son's head and watched him smile up at him.

"Bye, Daddy… be a good boy…" he said as he toddled towards the door as the woman opened it and let him inside. She watched him run into the room to greet the other monitors and turned towards Derek as she closed the door for a moment.

"Doctor Shepherd… we've been a little worried about Greyson." She said with a concerned tone. She instantly saw the look on Derek's face and put her hand up in defense. "I mean… I don't mean to alarm you… or anything, but he's been very… nervous lately… and he won't play with the other children… and if anything frightens him, he hides beneath the table… we're just concerned that there is maybe something going on at home? Maybe there's something between he and Richard?"

"Not that I know of… It's most likely… just a phase… " Derek nodded. "He has been in daycare a lot more lately… he's just a shy little boy." Derek said with a nod.

"We just wanted to make you aware of it… just in case you didn't know."

"Well, I'll keep an eye on him… try to talk to him about it… thank you for informing me." Derek said with a smile.

"Like you said though…" She said with a supportive smile. "It's most likely nothing more than a phase."

"Thank you, Candy." Derek said with a soft smile as he glanced through the window into the daycare room, spotted the two boys and turned and walked back into the hallway.

--

Meredith walked down the hallway towards the daycare, a small smile on her face as she thought of her children's faces and how excited they always were for lunch. She opened the door and the woman at the counter smiled and tilted her head. "Doctor Shepherd." She smiled softly.

"They're not here, are they?" She asked with a smile.

"Doctor Grey took them upstairs about an hour ago…"

"Thank you, Candy…" Meredith said with a smile as she shook her head and hurried back down the hallway. She got into the elevator and took it upstairs to her mother's office. The moment that the elevator opened she could hear her children's wild giggles coming from the office.

Meredith rolled her eyes as she neared the office, hearing Greyson laughing loudly as Richie giggled. She poked her head around the corner as she watched the two boys sitting on chairs in her mother's office, doubled over in laughter.

She could hear her mother's low voice talking to them, telling them a story about something as the boys continued to laugh. She shook her head and walked towards the door, smiling at the secretary as she glanced towards the office and shook her head. She leaned against the doorframe as Ellis looked up and smiled.

"What kind of trouble are these two in now?" Meredith asked as she glanced to the boys smiling faces.

"Mommy!" Greyson exclaimed as he slid from the chair and ran to her, grabbing hold of her leg as she lifted him up into her arms, dropping little kisses on her cheek as she hugged him tightly.

"GG was telling us a story about when you were a little girl…" Richie giggled as he patted the chair next to him.

"She was, was she?" Meredith asked as she walked to the chair beside her son and sat down, feeling Greyson lay his head on her shoulder as he continued to cling to her. "And what story would this be?"

"Oh… it was just a little story… nothing bad… no harm…" Ellis said as she held her finger to her lips to tell Richie not to tell. Richie giggled as he looked up at his mother.

"It was nothing, Mommy… nothing that good." He shrugged.

"You two were laughing pretty loudly for it to be nothing… are you two keeping secrets from me?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at her son.

"Me and GG gots all kinda secrets…" He giggled as he glanced to the candy jar on Ellis' desk and back to his mother. "Lots and lots of secrets…" He said as he looked to Ellis.

"I was going to take them down to lunch…" Meredith said softly as she glanced to her mother. "Did you want to come down with us?" She tilted her head as she felt Greyson tighten his grip on her.

"No, dear… it's fine, you go have lunch with the little ones… we had our fun for the day…" Ellis said as she nodded towards the door.

"Go give GG a hug and a kiss… tell her thank you for the candy…" Meredith said as Richie's eyes widened in surprise. "Mommys know everything…" She said in a creepy voice as Richie hopped from his chair and laughed, running to Ellis, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"Lots of love, GG… be a good girl and boss those doctors around real good…" He said with a laugh as Ellis kissed his cheek.

"Oh, I will…" Ellis laughed as she watched Meredith smirk as she carefully attempted to extract Greyson from her neck. "Grey, don't you want to give your GG a hug and a kiss?"

"No." Greyson mumbled into Meredith's neck as he held her tightly.

"Go on, buddy… go give GG a hug and kiss…" Meredith coaxed as he held onto her tighter. "Grey… come on… let go of mommy…"

"No!" He exclaimed as he pushed himself into Meredith harder. Meredith gave her mother a desperate look for a moment and shook her head.

"It's alright, sweetheart…" Ellis said as she stood up and walked towards Meredith as she stood up as well. "I love you, Greyson." She said as she tried to put her fingers through his hair and he moved his head quickly, slamming his head into Meredith's chin.

"Ow…" Meredith said as she held her son with one arm and grabbed her face.

"Are you alright?" Ellis asked as she looked at Meredith's chin.

"I'll be fine…He has a hard head…" She grumbled as she gave her mother a pleading look.

"Yes… hard headed… just like his father…" Ellis nodded, getting a smile from Meredith. "You be a good boy, Greyson… GG loves you…"

"Love you, GG…" Greyson mumbled from his mother's neck as Meredith sighed and grabbed Richie's hand as the three of them said goodbye and made their way from the office.

--

Greyson held tightly to Meredith as they entered the elevator, Richie looked up at his mother and she nodded as he smiled and pushed the button for the floor where the cafeteria was. She smiled at her little boy and ran her fingers through his dark hair as he smiled up at her. "Your birthday is coming up… have you thought about what you would like?" She asked.

"Um… I don't know." He shrugged. "What do five year olds get for their birthday?" He asked.

"It has been a very long time since I was five years old…" Meredith nodded as Richie giggled.

"Come on, Mommy… you're only maybe twice as old as me… that's not a lot…" He said with a smile as he watched Meredith smile back at him.

"Well thank you, Richie…" Meredith said with a laugh as she took his hand as the elevator door opened. They had taken two steps out of the elevator when suddenly, Greyson lifted his head.

"No! No!" He exclaimed as he started to reach his hand out towards the elevator. "No! No, Mommy, No!" He screamed as he pulled at her hair.

"Greyson, stop pulling on Mommy…" Meredith said as she tried to understand why he was pulling on her so hard, struggling to be let down. "Baby, what's wrong?" She said, though she couldn't get him under control as he continued to fight her. "Greyson, stop it…"

"MOMMY! NO! NO! NO!" He screamed loudly as she let him down and he ran towards the elevator, jumping to push the buttons.

"Greyson, what are you…"

"NO!" He screamed as he slapped his mother's hands away from him as he pushed the button on the wall, fighting as Meredith tried to lift him. "NO! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN! NO!" He screamed as everyone continued to stare at the scene that the little boy was making as Meredith tried to lift him again, he kicked and struggled.

The elevator door opened as Meredith tried to walk down the hallway with the screaming boy, though he was putting up a very big fight, he broke free and ran towards the elevator. "Richie, stay right there!" Meredith exclaimed to her older son who was just watching on in surprise as his brother ran into the elevator and gripped tightly to the handle on the side.

"Greyson Robert Shepherd!" Meredith exclaimed as she tried to pull him from the railing, he grasped it tightly as he sobbed, his fingers gripping it so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. "Greyson… please… please…" She begged as the little boy screamed, leaning down he nearly bit her fingers as he continued to yell.

"NO! NO! NO!" Greyson screamed, closing his eyes tightly as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Derek was walking down the hallway to meet his family in the cafeteria and heard the commotion. He saw his older son standing in the hallway staring in shock at the scene in the elevator and Derek rushed as quickly as he could toward them.

He pushed his way into the elevator and grabbed his wife's arm for a moment. "Meri…" He said as she looked up at him desperately.

"DADDY!" Greyson exclaimed as he turned and grabbed hold of Derek, gripping him tightly as Derek lifted him from the ground, releasing his grip from the railing. He buried his head in Derek's shoulder as he continued to cry, his grip on Derek was just as tightly as it was on the elevator railing. "Daddy! Daddy!" He sobbed, tears soaking Derek's shirt as he cried so hard.

"What… what happened?" Derek whispered.

"I… I don't know…" She whispered as she held the door open for the elevator, tears coming to her eyes as she watched her son put his thumb in his mouth and cuddle into Derek as Derek stepped off the elevator.

"Snuggle bear…" Greyson whispered into his father's ear. "Snuggle bear, daddy…"

"We… will be back in a couple of minutes…" Derek said as he nodded towards Richie. "Go on… take Richie down to lunch… I'll take Grey…" He said as he watched Meredith look on with a painful frown. "He'll be alright…" Derek said, taking her hand. "He'll be alright…"

"Derek… he…"

"It's okay, Meri…go on… go calm Richie down…I'll take care of Grey…" He nodded as Meredith reluctantly turned and made her way towards Richie. Richie grasped his mother's hand as he turned his head towards his father and brother as they walked towards the cafeteria together.

--

Derek bounced his son as he pushed the elevator button to the second floor. He could feel his son's breathing as it slowed, and he was whimpering softly into Derek's shoulder as he sucked his thumb. Derek walked with him down towards the conference room and glanced inside to ensure that it was closed. He stepped inside and carefully pulled his son from him, setting his butt on the table as he sat in a chair with him facing him. Greyson whimpered as he reached his arms out to Derek, trying to pull him closer as his father pulled him off.

"No… no…" Derek said as he held the little boy's hands as he grunted and tried to grab Derek. "Grey… stop it, please…" Derek said in a soft tone as his son relaxed a little. "What were you doing up there… what's going on?" He asked as he carefully ran his fingers over his son's red, blotchy cheeks. "What's gotten you so upset?"

"Hug me, Daddy…" Greyson whimpered, pulling his father's sleeve as he tried to pull himself off the table into Derek's lap.

"No… not until we talk…" he said firmly as he looked his son in the eyes. "What's going on, huh? Why are you so upset? Why did you scare your mommy like that?"

His eyes widened as his brow wrinkled. "I scared mommy?" He whimpered.

"You were screaming and yelling, Grey… you can't do that…"

"But… but… but…"

"What is it? What's going on?" Derek asked as he leaned his forehead up as Greyson leaned down towards Derek, pressing his forehead against his, as they looked into one another's eyes.

"Snuggle bear… daddy…" He whimpered.

"What about Snuggle bear?"

"I lost him, daddy." He whimpered.

"You lost Snuggle bear?"

"Uh huh…" He whimpered. "I think he's at GG's office…"

"Is that why you were so upset?"

"Uh huh…" He nodded.

"Grey… you have to tell people things, you can't just yell and get upset. You have to use your words… mommy was really scared… she didn't know what was wrong, and you didn't tell her."

"I…I just wanted… I… I just wanted… I wanted… I wanted Snuggle bear…" He whimpered as tears began to fall down his cheeks. "I didn't want mommy to be scared… now mommy's scared… I don't got Snuggle bear… oh, daddy… oh, daddy…" He shook his head as he reached his arms out for a hug.

"No… no hugs yet…" Derek said as he watched his son's lip stick out as he looked him in the eyes, his crystal blue eyes were filled to the brim with tears as his little nose ran. He sniffled as his lip trembled.

"I need a hug, daddy… I need one…"

"Greyson… you can't get so upset."

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Daddy… I need a hug now…"

"Grey, look at me…" Derek said as the little boy squeezed his eyes closed. "Greyson…"

"Hug… hug, daddy…" He whimpered.

"Greyson… Miss Candy says that you haven't been playing with the other children in daycare. Is something going on in daycare?" He asked, watching his eyes pop open, his mouth opening a little in surprise. "Is something happening in daycare that you're scared about?"

"Um…"

"It's okay, buddy… this is daddy here… you can tell daddy anything you want…he won't get mad… he promises…"

"Um…no…" He said as his eyes went to the door and back to his father. Derek was starting to get nervous as he leaned forward. He couldn't figure out what could make his son so upset. "Miss Tricia… she shouted at me." He whispered.

"Miss Tricia shouted at you?"

"Uh huh… she shouted at me…"

"Well, what did you do that she shouted at you for?"

"I dunno…" He shrugged.

"Well there must be a reason… I am sure that Miss Tricia doesn't go around shouting at good little boys."

"I dunno…" he whimpered.

"If you're a good boy, you won't get shouted at… now why don't we go get Snuggle bear… and we can go talk to Miss Tricia and find out what happened… does that sound good, would that make you feel better?"

"Um…" He said, looking into his father's eyes, seeing his daddy's strong confidence, he knew that he was safe with him. He knew that no one would get away with shouting at him if his daddy was there. "Yes." He said as he nodded.

"I think that daddy owes you a hug now…"

"Yes…" He said as he held his arms out to Derek, who wrapped his arms around his son and pulled him into his lap, cuddling him tightly as he kissed his head. "I love you, Daddy… forever…"

"I love you too, buddy… now let's go find GG and get Snuggle bear back…"

"Yeah…" He said with a sigh as Derek turned and stood up, lifting Greyson up high as the little boy smiled, lighting up Derek's heart as he saw the smile on his son's face again.

--

Meredith walked with Richie to the cafeteria and helped with his tray as they got their lunch. She brought their lunch to the table and Richie sat in his chair quietly as he stared at the food on his tray. He looked up at his mother and she seemed to be doing the same thing.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Richie asked his mother as he tilted his head, his hand was on his fork, but he made no attempt to lift it.

"I…Mommy's not really hungry, sweetheart." She said softly as she gave him a little smile, her eyes were caught on her son's face as he gave her a sad smile.

"He'll be okay, mommy… he's just little…" Richie shrugged. "That's what you always tell me." Meredith looked into her son's eyes and smiled. He knew what was running through her mind. Nearly five years old and he could practically read her mind. He was getting to be more and more like his father every day, from the tip of his thick black hair to his tiny little toes, he was becoming more of a young man every day. "I promise, mommy." He said as he tilted his head and took a forkful of spaghetti. He shoved it into his mouth and grinned. "Boy, he's missing a yummy lunch!" Richie exclaimed as Meredith laughed.

"He is, huh?"

"Mmhmm!" Richie exclaimed with a grin as he shoveled another mouthful.

Derek had lifted Greyson to the floor and held his hand as he walked with him to the elevator. He pushed the button and Greyson looked up at his father as he stood beside him. He looked at his father's feet, and noticed that they were spaced out just so. He looked at his own feet and moved them so that they were in a similar position. He looked up at his father and watched as he leaned against the side of the elevator and he found himself leaning slightly as he nearly fell over.

"Woah, there…" Derek said as he grasped his son's hand. "Where are you going?" He chuckled.

Greyson giggled as he stood up straight. "Nowhere…" He laughed as he held Derek's hand tightly as the elevator doors opened.

"Silly…" Derek shook his head as he walked with Greyson down the hallway towards Ellis' office. They got to the outer office and Derek stopped. "Go on in and ask for Snuggle bear…" Derek said nodding his head.

"Daddy…" He said, shaking his head.

"Go on in and see GG… tell her that you left Snuggle bear…" He said, persuading his son to do it for himself.

"Daddy…no…" He whimpered. "You go…"

"Grey, I can't do this… you want Snuggle bear, you have to go get him yourself." Derek shook his head.

"Daddy… daddy, no!" he exclaimed.

"Greyson… that's enough… now go see GG… you love GG… go on in…ask her for…"

"No! No! No!" Greyson shouted.

"Fine." Derek said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You can stand out here and shout all you want, but daddy is not going to go in there and get Snuggle bear, you're going to have to be a big boy and go do it yourself."

"Daddy… no, please…" He whimpered.

"If daddy goes inside with you, will you ask GG for Snuggle bear by yourself?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes." He whimpered as he reached up for Derek's hand. "Daddy… please come with…?" He asked, tugging Derek's hand.

Derek sighed as he let his son lead him into the outer office. He smiled at the secretary as he noticed that Ellis was sitting at her desk.

"Doctor Grey, Doctor Shepherd is here to see you…" She said as Derek watched Ellis look up and smile softly.

She stood up and walked towards the door. "Well, I thought we already had our visit for the day…" She said as she looked down at her grandson as he started to slide behind Derek.

"Greyson has a question that he needs to ask…" Derek said as he looked down at his son. "Go on, Grey… GG is waiting for your question…"

"You ask…" Greyson whimpered.

"Grey, we had a deal…" Derek said as he took his son's hand and led him back around him to the front of him. Derek placed his hands on his shoulders as they both looked up at Ellis. "Go ahead, Grey..."

"Daddy…" He whimpered as he hid behind Derek again.

Ellis walked towards Derek. She crouched down and waited for him to peek out at her. After a moment, she was rewarded with a peek at his crystal blue eyes. "You know… I never did get my hug and kiss today…" She said with a sigh. "I always get my Greyson hug and kiss… and today it feels lonely without it."

"You got Richie hug and kiss…" Greyson mumbled from behind Derek.

"Yes… but Richie's hugs and kisses are very different from Greyson hugs and kisses…" Ellis exclaimed. "Now come on, GG isn't going to be upset with you… what's your question, sweetheart?"

"GG… GG, I left Snuggle bear here…" He whimpered as he closed his eyes tightly and hid behind Derek.

"Snuggle bear? You left him here?"

"I think…" Greyson mumbled.

"Well… come help me look for him… I'm not sure I remember what he looks like…" Ellis said as she glanced up at Derek with a half smile as Derek smiled at her. Greyson looked up at his father and back to his grandmother and sighed. He slowly reached his hand out and let Ellis take him by the hand so that she could lead him into her office.

They walked towards the chairs where the two boys had been sitting, and there, slid between the two seats was his worn teddy bear. "There he is, GG!" He said with a happy smile as he pointed at the bear, looking up at her proudly.

"There he is… now, you get him… and take him with you… and make sure he behaves himself and doesn't run off again…" Ellis said in a soft scolding tone.

"Silly, Snuggle bear…" Greyson giggled as he shook his head, pulling the bear into his arms, he wrapped his arms around him and breathed in the smell and warmth that he had been craving.

"Oh yes… those teddy bears can be quite tricky if we don't keep our eye on them…" Ellis said as she nodded her head and watched Greyson return to his father's side.

"See, Daddy… I told you he was here in GG's office!"

"And you notice how GG didn't get upset with you for leaving him here… if you ask nicely and don't yell and get upset, you can get by a lot easier…" Derek laughed as Greyson smiled. "Now give GG a big hug and kiss for helping… and an extra one for not giving one to her earlier…"

"Okay…" He said as he gave Ellis a bashful look, running to her side, he grasped her hand and tugged on it as Ellis leaned down and hugged the little boy, taking his sloppy kisses on her cheek as she laughed. "All better?" He asked.

"All better." Ellis said with a smile as she looked into his eyes as he skipped to his father's side and grabbed his hand. "I'm hungry, Daddy… let's go eat…"

"Alright…" Derek chuckled as he smiled at Ellis. "Thank you for the help." He said with a smile.

"Well, it was a serious thing that needed to be dealt with." Ellis said with a serious look as Derek nodded.

"We'll see you later." Derek chuckles as they headed towards the door.

"Doctor Shepherd." Ellis said as she looked down at her desk for a moment.

"Hm?" Derek asked as he looked up at her.

"Before you leave for the day… do you think you could possibly come in here and meet with me… there's something I need to discuss with you and it's rather urgent." She said seriously as she raised her eyebrows.

"Of course." Derek nodded, tilting his head curiously as she shook her head and her eyes glanced to Greyson as they met back up with Derek's. He nodded in understanding. "I'll be here at two… and then I'll pick up the kids in daycare." He replied.

"That will be fine, thank you." She said as she sat down at her desk as Derek and Greyson slipped out of the office slowly.

--

Derek walked to the elevator with Greyson and they took it down to the cafeteria. Greyson held his father's hand tightly as they exited the elevator. He stopped for a moment and looked down at the little boy. "We have everything now, right? You have Snuggle bear… and like… your feet and everything?" Derek asked. "Because I don't want you getting all upset that you forgot your feet or something…"

Greyson looked up at his father and giggled. "I got my feet, daddy…"

"Good… how about your smile… you have that, right?" He asked.

"Um… I'm not sure…" Greyson shrugged, wiggling his finger for Derek to come closer.

"What?" Derek asked with a chuckle as he crouched down to his son's level.

"Do you see my smile?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Your smile?" Derek asked. "Nope…"

"There it is!" He exclaimed as he pretended to reach out and grab Derek's lips, pretending to put it on his face. "I found my smile!" He laughed.

"I knew it was around here somewhere!" Derek exclaimed as he lifted his son into his arms as he laughed. They walked towards the cafeteria and Greyson giggled and laughed as Meredith looked up across the cafeteria when she heard them enter. "There's your mommy…" Derek pointed her out as he headed towards the line for food. "Why don't you go give her hugs and kisses and tell her that you're sorry for being such a boo…" Derek said as he lifted his son to the ground.

Greyson looked up at his father and smiled slightly, his eyes squinting as his nose wrinkled. "I'm not a boo, daddy… I'm just a little boy."

"Well then go tell mommy that…" He nodded towards the table as Greyson turned and made his way through the cafeteria around a couple of tables, over a chair or two to his mother's side, where Derek smiled as he watched Meredith lift her little one into her lap and wrap his arms around her neck securely. Her eyes met his and she mouthed the words 'thank you' as Derek blew her a kiss and smiled as he turned to enter the line to get lunch.

Derek got his tray of lunch for he and Greyson and headed over to the table with his family. He set the tray on the table and sat beside Meredith as he leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thank you." Meredith said softly as she reached for his hand. He grasped her hand in his and squeezed it as he smiled.

"Hey… it's my job…" He said with a wink as he began to eat his lunch as Meredith situated Greyson on her lap for him to eat. "So, boy…" Derek said as he eyed Richie across the table as he licked his pudding spoon clean. "What do you want for your birthday?"

"A car." Richie grinned.

"Done!" Derek exclaimed.

"Derek, he's going to be five, what is he going to do with a car?" Meredith laughed.

"He can look at it… for another eleven years until he's allowed to drive it…" Derek shrugged listening to his son giggle.

"I could use it as a fort!" Richie exclaimed.

"See, he could use it as a fort, Meredith… come on… think out side the box…" Derek laughed.

"Car… it's a car… not a box, Daddy…"

"We could get you a box too… better yet… let's get him a boxcar!" Derek exclaimed.

"What's a boxcar?" Richie asked.

"Something having to do with a train or something… its not important… its not for you anyway…" Derek said, waving his hand at his son. "What do you think?" He asked, tilting his head at Meredith who was laughing.

"It's my birthday!" Richie exclaimed.

"It's your birthday? Well congratulations! How old are you going to be?" Derek asked.

"Five!" Richie laughed.

"Five? Wow… what would you like for your birthday?" Derek laughed.

"A car!" Richie laughed.

"Oh sorry… five is far too young for a car… how about a baseball glove, or a hot air balloon ride?"

"Derek!" Meredith laughed.

"Yes!" Richie exclaimed as they all giggled as the joke continued on throughout lunch.

--

Later that afternoon, Derek walked down the hallway towards Ellis' office. He had no idea what she could possibly want, and the fact that she had stated that it was urgent made him even more wary of the purpose for this meeting. He walked into the outer office, finding that the secretary was not at her desk, though Ellis' door was open for him to enter. She did not look up as he approached the door, only sighed as she continued working. "Please sit down, Doctor Shepherd." She said as she continued to write. "Please close the door." She said softly.

It had been quite a long time since she had asked him to close the door to her office. It only intensified the sour feeling in his stomach as he closed the door and turned towards the chair. He glanced to Ellis and then to the chairs as he then sat down.

"You must be pretty confident that you've done nothing wrong." Ellis said with a smirk as she glanced up at Derek and back down at her papers.

"And why is that?" Derek replied as he crossed his legs and tried to sit as comfortably as possible.

"Because Derek Shepherd never sits in my office if he thinks he's done something wrong." Ellis replied as she glanced up to Derek's smirk. "You look uncomfortable, Derek." Ellis said as she put her pen down and crossed her arms on her desk.

"Well, it's not every day I'm called into the chief of surgery's office and told to close the door, Doctor Grey." Derek raised his eyebrows. "Do I have a reason to be uncomfortable?"

"No…" Ellis replied. "I wanted to inform you, however… that I'm giving you two months leave." She said, her eyes stern on his.

"Excuse me?"

"I am going to be leaving the hospital for two months, and I need someone to come with me."

Derek shook his head as he leaned forward, giving her an incredulous look. "Excuse me?" He asked again.

"Doctor Shepherd. I need to travel to Seattle for business matters… there will be an interim chief of surgery in my stead and I'm asking for you accompany me."

"For two months?"

"Doctor Shepherd, as you know… I own a home in Seattle… one that has been unoccupied for several months… in fact, my ex-husband lived there until recently and has since left it nearly abandoned. There are things that belong to me that are still in the home, and I will need to retrieve them. I am asking you to accompany me to Seattle… I can arrange so that you may work at Seattle Grace if you feel the need to work, but I am asking you to please accompany me to Seattle to take care of those things."

"For two months?" Derek asked again.

"I also need someone to help me to fix the house up in order to put it up for sale. Two months seems like a long time, Doctor Shepherd, but I'm asking you because I can't possibly do this myself."

"I… I can't just leave my family, Ellis." Derek shook his head. "Is Meredith…"

"Meredith will not be going to Seattle, Doctor Shepherd. It's either you and I… or just me… will you accompany me?"

"Ellis… I can't leave Meredith with two boys at home alone… it wouldn't be fair."

"Feel free to bring the boys along." Ellis shrugged.

"Ellis… this is ridiculous…" Derek shook his head. "I can't possibly do this… I… I have responsibilities here to my family, to my patients… I'm a surgeon, Ellis… I'm not a mover… I'm not a…"

"Derek." Ellis said, her eyes softening on him as he watched her swallow hard. "This is something that I need to have done… I can't have you and Meredith dealing with these things…later… Derek, I'm not asking you to do this for me as an employee, and I'm not asking you to do this for me because I think you will… I'm asking you because you're my son in law… and you're as close to a friend that I have… and… I trust you." She said sincerely as she watched Derek work her words through his mind.

"I will need to talk to Meredith." Derek said, nodding his head.

"That is fine." Ellis said as she nodded. "Thank you." Ellis said softly as Derek stood up and walked towards the door. "Derek." She called, watching him turn his head. "If you do decide to go… We will be leaving next Saturday." She said, watching Derek nod slightly as he turned and walked out of her office.


	4. Goodbye

9 PM-

Derek lay on the couch, staring off into space as the front door opened and Meredith walked inside quietly. He was so engrossed in thought though, that he hadn't even noticed that she had walked into the room. "Hey…" She said as she watched his head turn quickly toward her, his arms pulled from behind his head as he watched her tilt her head curiously.

"Hey…" He said with a half smile as he watched her walk across the room as she set her bag on the floor beside the couch. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come in." He said as he reached his hand up to her. She put her hand in his and let him pull her down onto his belly, pulling her down onto him, her head resting on his chest as she pulled her feet up onto the couch.

"Kids asleep?"

"After a two hour argument about which one of them has a better monster truck… and a half hour argument about which one's fault it was for them getting their trucks taken away from them… and then another half hour of them begging for them back… yes… the answer to your question… is yes, they are asleep…" Derek sighed with a slight smile as he watched her look into his eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she lay her head on his chest.

"Sounds like you had it easy…" She whispered as she felt his fingers tickle her side as she laughed. "You look glum, bum…" Meredith said as she sat up just a little against him, her eyes looking into his. "Derek?" She said softly when he didn't reply.

"Hm?" He said, looking into her eyes. "Oh… I've just got a lot of things on my mind… that's all…" He said as he smiled a half smile at her.

"Like what?" She whispered as she tilted her head. "Tell me what's got you down?"

"It's…" He sighed as he shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. "It's nothing…" He said as he sighed.

"Its something…" She said as she kissed his chin. "Tell me…please?" She whispered.

"Meri…" He said softly as he watched her raise her eyebrows. "How old were you… when you moved from Seattle?"

"Five." Meredith said softly as she watched Derek's eyes as he followed her features with them, his forehead was wrinkled with a thoughtful expression. "Why?"

"Your parents were divorced then… right? Then your mother moved you here, to Boston?"

"Yes…" She tilted her head in question as he nodded.

"And… your father… when was the last time you saw him?" Derek asked.

"I… I don't know… Derek… you're kind of creeping me out here… what is this all about?" She asked as she watched him tilt his head and open his mouth for a moment as he tried to find the right words.

"I'm just… I'm just trying to figure something out in my head…" He said as he gave her a soft smile as he watched the worry in her eyes.

"It really seems to be bothering you…"

"It is…" Derek said, swallowing hard as Meredith sat up.

"You're making my stomach hurt… just tell me what's going on…" She said as she watched the nervous look in his eyes.

"Your… mother… wants me to go to Seattle with her." Derek said as he watched Meredith look at him with a confused expression. "She said that she needs help with selling the house… that your father had been living there, and since he's moved out, she needs to get her things and sell the house."

"I don't understand."

"I don't really understand it either…" Derek shrugged. "She seemed very concerned… almost cryptic… and she said that if I couldn't help her, she'd go alone." Derek said as he watched Meredith. "She said that she doesn't want you to go along… only me… because she trusts me…"

"Why wouldn't she want me to…"

"She's probably trying to protect you." Derek shook his head. "She doesn't want you to have to deal with the mistakes she made… she's just looking for some help… that's what it seems like to me…"

"But she's never had an interest in the house before, why suddenly…"

"Well, I'm sure she just wants to sell it… so that she doesn't have to pay for it anymore…or you know… she probably just has some things that she would like back… maybe some memories or something… She wasn't very specific." Derek said as he watched Meredith continue to watch him.

"That's just weird…" She sighed. "And… she wanted you to go with her…?"

"I think she just doesn't want to do it by herself… you know… I don't really blame her… she said she trusts me."

"You know she loves you, Derek." Meredith shook her head. "Of course she trusts you."

"Do you think that I should go?" He asked, watching her eyes as he watched her tilt her head. She nodded slowly as she watched him suddenly bite his lip.

"There's more." She said, narrowing her eyes suddenly.

"What?"

"There's more… there's something that you're not telling me." She said as she reached her finger to his lip. "You have a tell." She whispered.

"It's for two months." Derek said quickly, cringing as he watched her eyes widen.

"No." She said suddenly as she pushed herself up. "No, no…" She shook her head as she pushed down on him as she tried to climb off him. "No…" She shook her head as she tried to stand up as Derek grabbed her and pulled her into him.

"Just listen." He said as she struggled against him.

"No, Derek… absolutely not… you are not leaving me for two months with two children..."

"Meredith… just listen… listen…"

"No, I'm not listening… no more listening! I've had enough listening…. You're not leaving me for two months with two children…"

"That's what I told her…" Derek said as he shook his head as he let her jump to her feet. He sat up and looked into her eyes. "I told her that I have other responsibilities, I told her that I couldn't leave you here with the boys…"

"Good… then it's final… you're not going…"

"Meri… she said I could bring them with me if I wanted…"

"AbsoLUTEly not!" She exclaimed. "You're not going to drag my children away from me for two months either… what the hell is wrong with you? What the hell is going through your goddamned brain, Derek? This is ludicrous! This is ridiculous! This is stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" She screamed.

"Mommy?" The tiny voice interrupted Meredith's tirade as she stopped and looked at Derek as he watched as the anger drained from her body at the sound of her son's voice. "Mommy, why are you yelling at daddy?"

"Because Daddy is…" Meredith growled.

"Meri…" Derek said, taking a step forward.

"Daddy is making me very upset… that's why I'm yelling at daddy!" She exclaimed. "What are you doing up, little man?" She asked as she watched the fear in his eyes as she looked down at him and watched his eyes flash to Derek.

"I was thirsty…" Richie whispered.

"Well let's go get you a drink of water then…" Meredith said softly as she took her son's hand and led him towards the kitchen, her glare remained on Derek the entire time, until she disappeared behind the kitchen door.

Derek stood in the family room for a moment, his stomach churning as he listened to his wife's voice in the kitchen talking to his son. He was tempted to go into the kitchen and discuss it. He knew that she wouldn't argue in front of Richie and he wasn't particularly looking for an argument, just for her to listen to him.

He took a deep breath and slowly released it as he walked towards the kitchen. He stepped into the room and watched as Meredith's attention was immediately on him. Richie was sitting at the counter sipping from his cup of water as his blue eyes flashed between his mother and father. He could feel the tension in the room as Derek stepped to his mother's side. This was a very rare occasion, the tension between his parents. They hardly ever fought, and he couldn't remember the last time his mother had yelled at his father. "Meri, can we talk about this, please?"

"Don't you hold me hostage in front of our son, Derek." She growled under her breath as she hid her angry eyes from the little boy, by pretending she was washing a pan in the sink.

"I'm not holding you hostage, Meri… I just want to discuss this." He said as he reached out lightly to touch her shoulder.

She turned against his hand and glared at him. "There is nothing to discuss." Meredith replied.

"Meredith… you were fine with me going for a couple of weeks… but…"

"Days, Derek… I'm alright if you go for a couple of days… but two months? Two months is a very… very… very long time… and a very, very… very different story." She shook her head.

"Meri… she's asking me for a favor… she is asking for help… your mother never asks for help, she…"

"She never asks for anything…she never gives anything in ret…"

"Stop right there." Derek said as he placed his finger lightly on her lip. "Your mother has tried very… very hard to make up for…"

"And now she wants to take my husband and babies away from me?" Meredith exclaimed.

"Meredith… you're really getting upset over nothing… we…"

"We shouldn't even be having this conversation!" She exclaimed. "I said that you couldn't go… you're not going…"

"Going where?" Richie asked. "Where's daddy going?"

"Daddy isn't going anywhere…" Meredith said as she turned away from Derek and walked across the kitchen. Derek followed behind her.

"Meredith, you're not even listening… I'd get two months… help her with whatever she needs… settle anything she has going… you know it has to be more than just the house, you know it has to be more than just that… you're right, your mother doesn't ask for help, and she doesn't tell us anything… but this is a good step, Meri…"

"She brought me to Boston by herself, she can bring her crap to Boston by herself too!" Meredith shook her head as Derek approached her.

"Meri… please… Can we just think about it?"

"Derek…no!" She growled as she attempted to push him away. She stepped away from Derek and stomped away from him, across the room. She leaned against the sink as Derek stood behind Richie. Richie's eyes went from his mother to his father and back to his mother. Meredith stood and stared into the sink for a moment, taking a deep breath as she shook her head. "When is she going?" Meredith asked, her voice low as the question slid from her lips.

"Saturday." Derek said, swallowing hard as he said the word, realizing just then that it was a mistake.

"Saturday is my birthday, Daddy…" Richie said, turning to his father as Meredith turned swiftly at his reply.

------

She didn't say a word with her lips or her words. Derek had a very strong suspicion was that she knew that if she started, she wouldn't be able to stop, and it would most likely involve pummeling him with her fists for several minutes before knocking him over the head with a frying pan. It wasn't particularly what she wanted Richie to witness, so she stepped forward quickly and walked around the counter. She lifted her son from the barstool and started walking out of the room.

"Meredith…" Derek said as he started to walk toward her.

She stopped in the doorway, holding their son in her arms as they both looked in his direction. Richie was thoroughly confused, and Meredith was suitably pissed. "Don't… you even talk to me, Derek. Don't you… even… I can't even… ARGH!" She exclaimed as she stomped out of the kitchen angrily as she held Richie in her arms, stomping towards the stairs with him. She stomped up the stairs quickly and Derek followed her up. "Stop following me…" Meredith said as she turned towards Richie's room.

"I'm trying to get you to talk to me…" Derek whispered, reaching out to grab her arm.

"Don't touch me, Derek…" She growled in an angry whisper. "I am not… Not… N.O.T. in the mood to even look at you right now… and I suggest that you… just… just drop it, and leave me alone…"

"Meredith… All I'm saying… all I'm saying is that… if this were my mother that were suggesting this… you wouldn't be as opposed to it… if my mother needed my help… you wouldn't be fighting so hard against it."

Meredith stopped and turned just as she reached her son's room. "That's right, Derek… because your mother knows when Richie's birthday is… your mother is going to be here on Saturday morning with his birthday cake for his birthday party… and you… and my mother… will not… because you're selfish and stupid." She growled. She stomped towards him and gave him an angry glare as she poked his chest. "When I gave birth to Richie… I spent weeks and months wondering if I was going to turn into my mother…I thought I was going to be the one that spent all of my time at the hospital, forgot holidays and birthdays, Derek… I thought that I was going to be a bad mother! When lo and behold, she got her hooks into you instead!" She exclaimed as she turned and stomped towards Richie's room, slamming the door behind her.

Derek stood in the hallway staring at his son's bedroom door, swallowing hard as he shook his head. He stared at the door for several moments, when the door beside him opened slowly and a little head popped out. "Daddy?"

Derek turned his head to see Greyson's sleepy face poking through the little crack in the door. "Hey, buddy…" Derek whispered as he stepped to the side and crouched down. Greyson opened the door a little more and stepped out, leaning forward he pressed his forehead against his father's as he held his teddy bear close to him.

"Mommy is mad?" Greyson whispered.

"Mommy is mad at daddy." Derek shook his head. "Daddy… needs to think before he speaks…"

"Hm…" The little boy nodded against his father's forehead. "You look sad." He said softly, touching his father's hand. "Do you need Snuggle bear?" He whispered.

"I'm not so sure Snuggle bear is going to do the trick tonight, buddy…" Derek shook his head.

"How about a story?" He whispered, slipping his hand into his father's as he tugged it a little toward the room.

"I think that maybe a story may help a little…" Derek said as he kissed his son's cheek and stood up, holding his hand, he let the little boy lead him into his room, where he glanced to Richie's door, before slipping into Greyson's room and closing the door behind him.

Meredith slipped from Richie's bedroom when she had him tucked in and asleep and she ventured down the hallway to their bedroom. She glanced down to their bedroom and noticed that the door was still open to their bedroom, and the light was still off, an indication that Derek was either not in there, or he had gone to sleep without her. She shook her head and sighed as she walked slowly down the hallway towards Greyson's room, carefully opening his bedroom door to check on him before venturing to her own bedroom. As soon as she stepped into the room, she stopped.

Lying atop Greyson's toddler bed in one of the most uncomfortable positions she could ever imagine, lay her husband. His head was on the pillow and his long, lank frame was draped over the bed, his legs hanging over the other end. Lying atop him with his head nestled in his neck lay their son, his thumb planted firmly in his mouth with the rest of his hand grasping Derek's shirt, his own arm draped around his Teddy. He was covered with a blanket, warm from the evening air as Derek's head lay back in an uncomfortable position, his mouth open as he snored away with his son rising and falling with each breath.

She shook her head as she walked to the bedside, watching the pair as they slept, their snores forming a chorus of nasal noises that she almost giggled at as she nearly resisted the urge of waking them. She reached forward and carefully touched her son's hand, watching as he flexed it, releasing Derek's shirt. His eyes opened as he looked up at Meredith, a sweet smile appearing on his face. "Let's go, buddy…" Meredith whispered as she carefully rolled her son into her arms, standing as she cradled her son in her arms. "It's time for daddy to get into his own bed…" She whispered.

"Mama…" He whispered. "Mama, please don't be mad at daddy… he'll be good…" Greyson whispered as he curled into his mother.

"Don't you worry about your daddy… I have been handling him this long… I think I can take it from here…" Meredith whispered as she reached her hand down and ran her fingers through his hair. She watched as his eyes blinked open, a soft smile appearing on his face. "Let's go sleepyhead…" Meredith whispered as she made his hair stand on end as she watched him slowly wake up. "Let the boy have his bed, you big oaf…" She said as she held her hand out to him.

"We were telling stories…" Derek whispered as he grasped her hand and let her help him up, rubbing his eye with his other hand, he yawned as he watched Meredith carefully lay the little boy in his bed.

"I think you've both had enough adventures for the day." Meredith said as she pulled the blanket up onto her son and carefully tucked his teddy bear beneath his arm as his thumb found its way to his mouth. She leaned down and carefully kissed his cheek, running her fingers across his hand as she stood up. She watched as Derek leaned down and kissed the little boy's cheek, a soft smile on his lips as he felt Meredith grasp his hand, as she tugged it gently and slowly led him from the bedroom.

Meredith led Derek to the bedroom, tugging his arm lightly as he shuffled along. She stood before him and tugged at the bottom of his shirt, helping him lift his shirt off as she would have if she were helping her boys get their pajamas on.

"I'm sorry…" He mumbled as he tilted his head at her.

"Shh…" She shook her head as she helped him get undressed down to his boxers, stepping from his pants as he watched her kick his clothes to the side as she held his arm, reaching to the bed, she pulled the covers aside and tugged his arm, getting him to sit on the bed, she pushed his shoulder for him to lay down and covered him with the blankets. She leaned down and kissed him softly on the forehead as she then walked around to the other side and slid silently into bed, switching the light off.

She rolled to her side and faced the wall, pushing her body back slightly toward him. He reached his hand to touch her arm, where she promptly took hold of it and pulled it around her, carefully pushing herself backwards into his arms as she felt him envelop her in his embrace. "Meri?" He whispered.

"You're not a bad daddy, Derek." She whispered. "I'm sorry that I said that…I should never say something like that… I'm sorry…" She whispered.

"I love you, Meri." Derek whispered as he pushed his nose into her hair, smiling softly as he held her into the night.

-------

Meredith walked briskly down the hallway, turning sharply into the office of her mother, she walked right past the secretary and stood before her mother.

"Doctor Shepherd?" Ellis said, glancing up to see Meredith standing angrily before her.

"Do you know what Saturday is?" Meredith asked.

"Yes." Ellis replied, looking back at her desk. "Is the quiz over, Meredith? I have things I have to get done."

"What are you trying to do to me?" She asked angrily. "What are you trying to do to Derek and me… what is this all about? And who do you think you are propositioning my husband?"

"Excuse me?" Ellis asked, looking up at her daughter.

"Why would you ask Derek to go to Seattle with you? Why would you suggest that he leave for two months and go off with you to Seattle… why wouldn't you ask me to go also? Why the HELL did you decide to leave on Saturday? And what the hell are you smirking at?" Meredith growled.

"Has nothing really changed, Meredith?" Ellis asked as she shook her head disapprovingly.

"What does that mean? What the hell does that mean?" Meredith growled.

"What I mean, Meredith is that it has been nearly five years… five years that I have tried… tried very, very hard to get you to understand that I love you, that I've always loved you and all I want to do is protect you and have the best for you… five years may not seem like a very long time… but I thought things had changed… and I've very disappointed to find that they haven't." Ellis shook her head.

"Mom! You're taking advantage of him!"

"What did he tell you, Meredith? Because I don't think you're interpreting everything correctly…" Ellis shook her head. "Please… have a seat and talk to me… don't hover over me like you are looking for a boxing match or a sword fight. Sit down so that we can have a proper conversation, and for God's sake, unball your fists as if you're going to punch your old goat of a mother across the face."

Meredith glared at her mother for a moment and realized that she did indeed have her fists balled up as if she were going to go into a fight. She took a long deep breath and slowly released it. "I don't want to sit down." She said, challenging her mother.

"That's fine…" Ellis replied. "I didn't expect you to."

"Tell me what's going on… and don't tell me that you want to go to Seattle to sell the house… that's bullshit because you know that you can do that stuff from here… Why do you need Derek? Why do you need Derek and why would you suggest taking the kids with him… and why the hell two months?"

"The two months… I'm hoping is an overshot, Meredith… I have no idea how long it's going to take me to get things together out there." She shook her head. "Your father had been in charge of the house, and there are several things that are there that I would like to get back… and if I sent movers, it could really get ridiculous… sending junk back here to Boston… I'd like to go through things… I'd like to just… there are things that I want back, Meredith that I can't do from here… I asked Derek because I can trust him… not that I don't trust you, of course… but I don't want you to have to go through that stuff, I don't want you to watch me go through the past that I'm not very proud of… and… I don't know if there is any other unfinished business out there in Seattle… but I have colleagues and friends out there that I'd like to visit with and catch up with. I haven't had a vacation… in a… well, ever…" Ellis shook her head. "I didn't suggest that he take the children because I wanted him to take them away from you or something… he seemed concerned about you, so I told him that he could bring them along… Maybe he could bring Richard along… he doesn't begin kindergarten until September, so it may be a be nice opportunity to see a new place…I am sure that you could use a break from some of the monotony… give your son a new experience… and as far as Saturday, Meredith…" Ellis shook her head.

"So you do know what Saturday is?" Meredith asked as she took a step forward.

"Meredith… I'm not stupid… and I'm not heartless… its not a set date, but I want to leave as soon as possible… get this over with… the plane isn't leaving until ten in the evening… it is flying through the night so that Sunday will be a little more full… I know when Richard's birthday is… what do you think the little boy has been talking to me about since he turned four years old?" Ellis said with a slight smile. "Stop being selfish, Meredith… stop being selfish and stop hating me for one moment to see that I'm not doing this to hurt you… you can ask me questions, you can try to talk to me… maybe prove to me that some things have changed for the better, instead of storming in here like you want to beat me up. You don't want to get into a fist fight with me, Meredith… I bite." Ellis said as she tilted her head as her daughter looked into her eyes.

"I need… to talk to Derek." She whispered.

"That's fine." Ellis said as she watched Meredith's mind reel, her eyes reflecting a confusion as she swallowed hard. "Meredith…do you understand what I'm trying to say here?"

"Yes." She whispered, the knot in he stomach tightening. "I need… to talk to Derek." She said as she nodded her head. "Thank you for explaining." She whispered as she turned and walked swiftly out of the office in search of her husband.

------

Derek was just scrubbing out of surgery, washing his hands as he glanced through the window, he immediately noticed the reflection of his wife coming into the room, her entrance was quick and she closed the door behind her. "What's the big rush?" He asked as he turned around, wiping his hands with a towel, he noticed the anxious look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I talked to my mother." She said with a deep breath, releasing it slowly as she shook her head.

"You talked to your mother…" Derek said as he tilted his head, walking close to her.

"Yes…Derek, I think there's something more to this that she's not telling us…"

"Something more?" Derek asked with a curious look, his eyes showing concern as Meredith nodded.

"She has never taken a vacation… ever… she's never, ever been gone for more than three days at a time… this is not like her, it's not like her at all." Meredith shook her head.

"Meri, I'm sure she's just taken some time to think about things and decided that she needed some time off…"

"Derek… no… it has to be more serious than that… she looks pale… do you think she looks pale?

"She doesn't look pale, Meri… she's in the hospital all the time… it's the lights… you're making yourself so nervous over nothing.

"Derek… I'm serious…"

"I know you're serious, sweetheart… but there's nothing wrong with your mother…She's a very healthy woman."

"You know very well that if there was something wrong, she wouldn't tell us." Meredith said, searching her husband's eyes.

"That's true… but Meri… she's fine… she's been acting normal except for this vacation thing… she doesn't seem sick… she's probably just thinking about her regrets… things she left behind in Seattle when she picked up and left… don't worry so much, sweetheart…" Derek said as he reached his hand forward and touched her cheek. "Your mother will be just fine."

"You're going to go with her…" She whispered.

"What?"

"I want you to go with her… I want you to find out what's going on, Derek… because she won't tell us… you know that… so that if there is something… she'll trust you… she'll tell you…she trusts you."

"Meri…I can't leave you here with the boys for two months… you know that I really can't do that…" Derek shook his head.

"Take Richie with you… I'll be alright with Greyson… He's a good boy… and maybe the boys could stand for some time apart… they're always bickering…"

"They're brothers, Meri… they could be apart for two years and they'd still bicker…" Derek shook his head. "Meredith… I can't leave you here alone…"

"I have Mark and Cris… and Izzie, George… Alex… I have a network… your mom isn't too far away… or your sisters… I have a lot of people here… Take Richie to Seattle with you… The plane doesn't leave until the evening on Saturday, you can leave after his party… it could be a part of his birthday gift."

"Sitting on a plane for hours… not a very exciting birthday gift…" Derek shook his head.

"Tell that to him…" Meredith said with a nervous laugh. "He's never been on a plane before… I'm sure he'll think it is quite the experience… Derek… I need you to watch my mother…I need you to find out what's wrong…"

"And what if nothing is wrong, Meri? What if she's just trying to get away from the hospital?"

"Well then… then we won't have to worry about it… and you'll come home… and… and then everything is settled… and we don't have to worry about it." Meredith shrugged.

"What if I don't want to leave you for two months, Meri?" He whispered.

"Then you can come home, Derek… you can always come home… you don't have to stay there if you don't want to… if Richie wants to come home… but… it might be a good thing… and… I really do think there's more to it." She whispered.

"Don't you think I should ask Richie if he would want to go, first?" Derek asked.

"Derek… that little boy would follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked him to…"

"Only if he got more ice cream than his brother at the end…" Derek chuckled as Meredith laughed.

"Talk with Richie at lunch… see if he wants to go… will you go, Derek?"

"Last night we had a big argument about all of this… and now you can't get me out of your hair fast enough…"

"She's my mommy, Derek…" Meredith whispered, tilting her head as she sighed.

"I'll talk with Richie…" Derek rolled his eyes as he leaned forward and kissed her lips softly. "You Grey's have really got a way of confusing a guy…"

"We have to keep you on your toes…" She whispered as she kissed his lips softly and smiled. Her pager sounded and she kissed him again quickly. "I'll talk with you later…" She said with a half smile as she turned and rushed out of the scrub room.

"Later…" Derek said as he watched her disappear out of sight.

---------

Derek walked down to the daycare and looked into the window where the children were playing. He smiled at Candy at the counter as he watched Greyson color beside a couple of the other children, sharing crayons as they talked about what Derek could only imagine was a conversation about toys or crayons, or other little boy things that Greyson had learned that day. It made him feel a lot better after he had talked to the other monitor, Miss Tricia about what had been bothering his son, and Greyson seemed to feel a lot better about being at daycare, a little more comfortable around the other children.

His eyes wandered to his other son, who was laughing with another boy about a picture book they were looking in, giggling as he waited patiently for lunch time. Derek walked in through the door and Greyson spotted him first, his eyes lighting up as soon as he saw his father's face. "Daddy! Daddy, look what I colored!" he exclaimed as he pulled his paper up and ran towards Derek.

"What do we have here?" Derek asked as he crouched down and looked at the paper as he looked at the scribbles across the paper.

"That's a picture of our house… and mommy's pretty flowers that she planted in the front yard…" He smiled as he showed Derek the picture, pointing out a section with some colors, and a large box that he had drawn to be the house.

"Wow…that's a great drawing!" Derek exclaimed as Greyson grinned proudly. "I don't think I've ever seen this particular interpretation of our house…" Derek said as he tapped his chin with his finger, making a silly face.

"Huh?" Greyson asked as he smiled.

"It's a great drawing, silly!" Derek exclaimed, listening to his son's giggles as Derek glanced down at Richie coming toward him.

"Lunch time?" Richie asked as he smiled at his father, rubbing his belly as he grinned.

"Yep…" Derek said as he smiled, taking his son's hands, he led them from the room.

"I want pizza!" Richie exclaimed as they waved to Candy as they walked down the hallway.

"I want pizza too!" Greyson said as he walked quickly to keep up with his father's stride.

"Well let's go get pizza!" Derek said as he shook his head and walked with the two kids to the elevator.

--------------

Derek sat with Greyson on his lap and Richie beside him as they ate their lunch. "Daddy, are you and mommy really through fighting?" Richie asked as he looked to Derek.

"We talked this morning…" Derek nodded as he tousled his son's hair. "We're not fighting."

"Good…" Greyson said with a giggle. "You don't fit in my bed…" He laughed as he shook his head.

"That is true…" Derek said with a laugh. "Your bed is a little shorter than I'd like…"

"So you're going to be here for my birthday?" Richie asked, tilting his head as he looked up at his father.

"Of course I'm going to be here for your birthday…" Derek shook his head. "In fact…" He said as he tried to figure out the best way of asking the question he was going to ask. "How would you like to go on a trip with me and GG?"

"A trip? Where?"

"Well, I don't know if you've ever heard of it… it's another city… it's a long plane ride away… it's called Seattle." Derek explained.

"Seattle?" Richie asked. "Why?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Your GG invited us… Seattle is where your mommy was born… she wants you to see it…"

"She doesn't want me to see it?" Greyson asked.

"Oh… no, buddy… that's not it at all…" Derek shook his head. "Someone needs to be home with mommy… to take care of her… it's a much more important job…" Derek nodded.

"Take care of mommy?"

"Yep… she will be lonely without daddy… she needs a big boy to help her around the house… and…"

"But I want to go with you." Greyson mumbled.

"Don't you want to stay with mommy?"

"No… no, I want to go with you… Richie can stay with mommy…" Greyson nodded.

Derek looked into his son's eyes as he gave him a hopeful stare, his eyes shifting to Richie, who had a look of curiosity in his eyes as he waited for his father's next word. "I don't want to stay with mommy…" Richie said, his voice concerned. "Daddy, you said it was just you, me and GG… Greyson can't go… just us… right?" He asked.

"Greyson's going to stay with mommy…" Derek nodded.

"No!" Greyson exclaimed, banging his fist on the table. "I don't want to stay with mommy! I want to go with Richie!" He exclaimed.

"Greyson, do not yell…" Derek said firmly as his son crossed his arms over his chest, letting his body go limp as he slowly slid from Derek's lap. "Greyson, what are you…" He said as he watched his son slide under the table and wrap his arms around the leg of the table.

"Uh oh…" Richie said as he looked at his father with a nervous glance.

"What?" Derek asked.

"He's never coming out now…" Richie said as he glanced under the table at his brother, who had a very firm grip on the leg of the table.

"Great…" Derek mumbled with a sigh. "This is just great…" He said as he carefully slid down the seat onto the floor.

Derek had slid beneath the table where Greyson was tightly attached to the leg of it. "Grey… come see Daddy…" Derek said softly as he watched the little boy scowl at him.

"No." He said with a pout as he turned his head away from his father.

"Greyson…" Derek said, his voice stern as he tried to grab his son, only to have him hold the table harder. "Greyson Robert, let go of this table right now…"

"No!" Greyson exclaimed. "Say I can go…" He mumbled.

"Grey, you can't go… you have to stay with mommy."

"NO!" Greyson exclaimed as Derek tried to figure out how exactly he was going to convince his son to crawl out from beneath the table.

"Greyson… please…" Derek pleaded with the little boy as he sighed in slight frustration. "You have to come up to the table now…"

"No I don't!" He shouted, reaching his hand out, he slapped at Derek's approaching hand.

"Greyson, don't you hit daddy! Do you want to go to time out?"

"No! I wanna go with you, and Richie, and GG!" Greyson exclaimed as tears began to flow down his cheeks. "You can't leave me… you can't leave… you can't!" He began to sob.

Richie rolled his eyes as his brother started to cry. His brother and father were beneath the table, but all was fine with him for the moment. He took a big bite of pizza and just watched different people coming and going. He glanced to his left and saw a familiar face coming his way. "Uncle Mark!" He said excitedly as he waved wildly towards Mark, who was just coming from the line with a tray of food. Mark waved with a grin, and then his brow furrowed in confusion as he walked closer.

"Richie… what's going on, where's your dad? They leave you all alone or…"

"He's under the table." Richie said, pointing at the table.

"He's…?"

"Under the table…" Richie repeated.

Mark looked under the table and saw a very anxious Derek and Greyson crying as he clung to the table. "Oh…" Mark laughed. "Hey…"

"Hey…" Derek growled as he glanced to his son. "He won't come out…"

"He won't come out, that's ridiculous…" Mark said as he set his tray on the table and knelt down, crawling beneath the table. "Hey Grey… it's uncle Mark… why don't you come on out and play?" Mark asked as he reached out for the little boy.

"No!" He shouted. "No! Tell daddy to take me too!"

"Take him too." Mark said, glancing to Derek, who rolled his eyes.

"First of all, you have no idea what he's talking about, and second of all… he can't go."

"That's stupid… He's tiny… you could take him just about anywhere…"

"Mark… don't be a moron…"

"I'm not a moron… Greyson… am I a moron?"

"No…" Greyson whined.

"See that, I'm not a moron…"

"Mark, you're really not helping…"

Derek sat beneath the table bickering with Mark as they tried to convince Greyson to release the table leg and Richie continued his lunch. He smiled as he saw Cristina exit the line and waved over to her. "Aunt Crissy!" He called, waving his hand he giggled as her face showed the same confusion that Mark's had.

"Where are your…"

"Under the table…" Richie pointed.

"Ah…" She nodded and then gave him a strange look. "Seriously?"

"Seriously…" Richie nodded as he watched Cristina set her tray down and duck down below the table. As she disappeared, he reached out and grabbed a bunch of her French fries and set them on his tray as he listened to the next set of voices beneath him.

"What the heck are you guys doing under here?"

"Greyson won't let go of the table…"

"He won't let go of the table… have you tried prying him off?" Cristina asked.

"No… he bites…" Derek whispered.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Cristina shook her head. "Greyson…Greyson, it's Aunt Cristina, just let go of the…"

"NO!"

"Greyson… Now!" She said sternly as she reached for him. Greyson let out a loud, angry scream and Cristina backed away. "How do you turn off the alarm on this thing?" She asked.

Richie jumped when his brother yelled, shoving a few French fries in his mouth he waved to his mother as she approached the table. "Where…" Richie pointed to the table. Meredith rolled her eyes. "Again?" She asked as Richie nodded with a mouth full of fries. She reached her hand out to Richie, who promptly handed her Greyson's teddy bear and she too ducked under the table.

"Holy crap…" Meredith said as she noticed the four people under the table. "Three of you?" She exclaimed, her eyebrows raised as she crawled over towards her son.

"He won't let go, Meri…" Derek whispered. "I was talking to him about the…"

"He's really mad…" Mark chimed in.

"I wouldn't touch him if I were you…" Cristina mumbled as Meredith stepped over to her son and looked down at him.

"Grey… look at mommy…" Meredith whispered.

"No…" He whimpered as he closed his eyes tightly.

"Grey… I have Snuggle bear here for you, sweetheart… we're very concerned…" She whispered.

"Snuggle bear…?" He whimpered, looking up at his mother.

"Come out and talk with mommy and Snuggle bear… and we'll figure all of this out together…" Meredith said soothingly as she ran her fingers through her son's hair, his eyes suddenly on hers as his grip slowly loosened. "Come on, baby… out from under the table…" She whispered as she offered the bear to him. "Let's go…"

"I don't want them to leave me…" He whispered as he grasped the bear with one hand, and Meredith's hand with his other hand.

"No one is leaving just yet… come on… come see Mommy and we'll talk about it…" She whispered as she carefully pulled her son to her chest and crossed her legs as she sat up, holding him, cradling him, kissing his forehead as he held his bear. She looked up at the other three adults who were staring at the scene. "You three are probably the worst three hostage negotiators on the face of the planet…" She shook her head with a frustrated sigh as she heard Richie giggle from atop the table as he finished off Cristina's fries as she gently rocked Greyson to calm him down.

One by one everyone crawled out from beneath the table as Meredith remained under with Greyson. "What's gotten you so upset, snuggle bug?" Meredith whispered, knowing why he was upset, but it always made her feel better to let him say it.

"Daddy wants to leave me…" He whispered.

"Daddy doesn't want to leave you…" She whispered, glancing around at the legs of everyone at the table, she watched as Derek's head popped down to peek. She shook her head a little as she continued to rock the little boy.

"He said that he did…" Greyson whispered.

"Daddy is going to take Richie on a little trip with GG… because GG needs big boy help…"

"I'm a big boy…" He whispered as he looked up at Meredith.

"You are a big boy… but if you go too… who is going to take care of mommy?"

"Snuggle bear…" He said, pulling the bear from his arms as he held it up to his mother.

"I don't know, baby… I think I would need more than Snuggle bear…" She shook her head. "Snuggle bear can't tell me stories… or color me pictures… I am going to miss daddy a lot, but if I have you here… then I don't need Snuggle bear… if anyone needs a Snuggle bear, it would be daddy… he is going to miss you so much…"

"Tell him not to go…" Greyson whispered.

"Baby…" Meredith whispered. "What if we figure out a way to count the days until they get back… we can do that… and then before you know it, they'll be home again…"

"Promise?" He whispered.

"I promise… but first you have to go up there and talk to your daddy… give him lots of hugs till he has to go on Saturday… and be an extra good boy…"

"Okay…" he said softly as he sighed as he crawled from his mother's arms.

"And you have to stop with the whole crawling under the table thing… it's getting old…really... really fast..." She said as he glanced to her and smiled as he wiggled his little butt out from under the table. He stood up beside Derek and his eyes moved around the table from Mark, to Cristina, to Richie.

"Hi." He said in a small voice as he waved at them.

"Hi." Mark said with a smirk as Derek looked to his son, he was not amused in the least, and Greyson could immediately sense that he wasn't in the clear as far as punishment. Hugs would definitely have to come later.

"Hi, Daddy…" He said as he held Snuggle bear in his arms and hugged him tightly. "Me and mommy said you can go." He said as he turned and walked around the table to a chair and crawled up onto it.

Meredith started to crawl from under the table, and Derek reached his hand under to make sure she didn't hit her head. She gave him a frustrated look and he nodded his head as he helped her from the floor. "We need to talk about this…" She grumbled as she stood up and brushed herself off. Derek continued to hold her hand as he glanced across the table at his son.

"Mommy…" Richie said as he looked at his empty plate and back up at her. "I'm still hungry…" He said with a grin as Cristina rolled up her napkin and tossed it at him as he giggled.

------------

Meredith walked down the hallway with Greyson and Richie as she got into the elevator and rode it downstairs to the lobby. They walked along with her, getting to the front doors, she smiled softly as she saw Derek pulling the car up to the curb. She opened the door and let the two boys climb in, buckling them into their seatbelts with a soft kiss. She climbed into the passenger seat and buckled herself in.

"You ready?" He said softly as he reached for her hand.

"Of course…" She said as she tilted her head back, smiling softly at her husband as the soft evening sun shine into the car.

"Where does the birthday boy want to have dinner?" He asked, glancing in the rearview mirror to Richie, who was smiling as he looked at his father's eyes.

"I dunno…" He shrugged.

It was their last dinner before Richie's birthday, before the two of them left on their trip, and Derek wanted to make sure that they had one dinner together, just the four of them. He glanced to Meredith and smiled. "You have any ideas?" He asked as he took her hand in his.

"There's always that pizza place at the arcade…" Meredith said as she heard her son gasp in excitement in the back seat.

"Yeah!" Richie exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Greyson exclaimed as well, bouncing in his seat.

"Alright… but we have to make sure we get ice cream for dessert…" Meredith said as she glanced back to Richie.

"Lots of ice cream! With chocolate sauce and sprinkles and a cherry on top!"

"And bananners! I love bananners!" Greyson exclaimed.

"And bananners…" Derek laughed as he grinned at his son.

"Mommy! You're the best!" Richie exclaimed as he giggled excitedly.

"And daddy is chopped liver…" Derek replied.

"Daddy's driving us there…" Richie smiled. "He's the best daddy in the world!"

"Yay for ice cream!" Greyson exclaimed.

-----------

The four of them sat at dinner talking and laughing over their pizza as Richie finished his quickly and ran off to play more games. Greyson sat at the table eating his pizza as he waited for Derek to take him to play on one or two of the games. Meredith leaned her head on Derek and sighed as she held his hand. "I'm going to miss you." She said softly as she squeezed his hand.

"I'm going to miss you…" Derek whispered. "I'm going to miss you more…" He said as he kissed her temple and squeezed her hand.

"I wish I could come with you…" She whispered.

"Oh, you don't want to go…" He shook his head. "You wouldn't have any fun…and I'll be stuck with your mom… and a five year old… and it's going to be boring… lots of work to do…"

"Yeah…" Meredith sighed. "But you'll be there… that's all I want… is you…"

"Mommy loves you, Daddy." Greyson said as he lifted his teddy bear to the table.

"Uh… dirty bears off the table…" Derek pointed with raised eyebrows.

"Snuggle bear wants pizza…" Greyson said as he held the bear over his pizza slice.

"If that bear touches that piece of pizza, you will be brought out to the car and you and daddy will sit out there while mommy and Richie eat their ice cream." Derek warned.

Greyson hovered the bear over the pizza as he eyed his father. "Snuggle bear likes pizza…"

"But daddy… daddy likes ice cream… and if daddy doesn't get his ice cream because someone is a bad little boy… then bad little boys go straight to bed after dinner with no stories…"

"No stories?"

"That bear touches the pizza… no stories…" Derek raised his eyebrows as his son challenged him with his eyes. Derek narrowed his eyes and very slowly, Greyson lifted the bear off the table, into his arms.

"You're going to miss that?" Meredith asked as she glanced to her husband as his stern face softened.

"Strangely enough… yes…" Derek laughed as he kissed her cheek, waiting for Richie to come back so that they could order their dessert.

------------

Meredith kissed her little boy softly on his forehead watching as his eyes drooped softly as she knelt beside his bed. She ran her fingers through his dark hair, taking in his sleepy smile as he wrapped his tiny arms around his favorite teddy bear. "Sleep well, my little prince."

"Sleep well, mommy…" His tiny voice whispered as he yawned a big yawn, his eyes shifting to the doorway as a smile lit up his face. "Daddy…" He whispered.

Meredith turned her head slowly, her smile soft as she watched Derek enter the room slowly. "Is the birthday boy in bed…"

"He's in bed…" Derek said with a low voice. "Now sleep… that's an entirely different matter."

"He's so excited." Meredith said with a smile as she felt him kneel beside her, his hand on the small of her back as he reached his hand up to Greyson, running his fingers through the little boy's hair.

"Now… you have to promise me something…" He whispered as he looked into his little boy's eyes. He put his hand on Meredith's shoulder as he reached his other hand out and touched his bear. "You have to promise me…with all of your heart… Greyson… you have to promise me that… that you'll take very good care of your mommy…" Derek said softly. He reached his hand out and touched the little boy's bear, feeling the worn fur beneath his fingertips. "Your mama… is kind of like your Snuggle bear to me… you know?" He said as he smiled a tiny smile. "I take her everywhere I go… she makes me feel happy… she makes me feel safe… and… sometimes I wear her out…" Derek said with a half smile as he rubbed a little bare spot on the teddy's fur. "Your mama is very… very important to me… and I snuggle with her just like you snuggle your bear… every night… every chance I get… she keeps me safe and warm…" Derek said as his son continued to watch his father's eyes. "I need you to promise me… that you can take very good care of her…" Derek whispered.

"I promise…" He said, nodding his head as he smiled sleepily.

"You're going to be an extra good boy, right… and you're going to promise not to grow up too fast while I'm away…"

"I'll grow up slow, daddy…" He nodded.

"Good…" Derek chuckled as he ran his finger over his son's cheek. "Now you get a little bit of sleep… because your cousins are going to be here tomorrow… things are going to be crazy around here…"

"Richie's gonna be five…" He mumbled with a smile as his eyes drooped.

"Yep…" Derek said with a smile. "Sleep well, little prince."

"Sleep well, Daddy…" He whispered as his eyes closed slowly.

Derek and Meredith continued kneeling by their son's bedside as he quickly fell asleep, his eyes fluttering amid a little boy dream as Derek grasped Meredith's hand in his. "Let's go…" he whispered with a soft smile. "Everyone is safe and warm…" He smiled. "Now it's your turn." He said as he leaned forward and left a gentle kiss on her lips as she smiled against his mouth.

"Mmm…" She groaned as she reached her arms up and wrapped them tenderly around the back of his neck, pulling herself close to him as he growled softly in her ear, standing as he pulled her body close to him, lifting her from the floor as her forehead rested on his. "You're perfect." She whispered as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing his forehead to hers.

"Bedtime…" he whispered as he carried her from the room.

"Oh… you may be able to get me to bed… but sleep is and entirely different story!" She giggled as he tickled her, listening to her melodic laugh as he closed his son's bedroom door and carried her laughing form with him to their bedroom.

-----------

The next day seemed to start earlier than usual with Richie running into his parent's room and leaping onto their bed. He stood at the end and grinned a bright grin, his black hair sticking in all directions as his bright blue eyes sparkled.

"What do you want?" Derek teased as the little boy bounced a little on his toes, standing between his parents at the end of the bed.

"I'm FIVE!" He exclaimed. "I'm five! Five! Five!" He exclaimed loudly, leaping between his parents as he landed in the nonexistent space between them, meaning he landed right on his father's arm.

"What is going on here?" Meredith said in a faux grumbly voice.

"He's five…" Derek sighed.

"Five?" Meredith asked. "You can't be five… you're still a little boy."

"I am! I am five!" He exclaimed. "I can be a little boy and still be five…" He said with a giggle. "Right?"

"I'm not sure…" Derek shrugged. "Can you?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed. "Let's go have cake!" He exclaimed as he sat up and crawled to the end of the bed. He swung his feet to the ground as he leapt from the bed. "I'm going to go wake up Greyson…he'll be excited…" He said as he ran out of the room.

"He's going to go wake up Greyson…" Derek whispered quickly. "What's our plan of action?"

"We could… play dead… climb under the bed… or out the window and sit in the tree until they give up looking for us…" Meredith asked, glancing to the window.

"The neighbor's weren't very fond of the tree thing the last time we did it…"

"I told you to get dressed before you did it…" Meredith teased. After a moment, both boys came running into the room. "Look at that, it took too long for us to decide, and now we have to get out of bed…"

"DADDY!" Greyson screeched as he bounded over his father onto the bed, landing between his parents.

"Get 'em, Grey!" Richie squealed as the boy started to tickle their parents, sending the bed into a whirlwind of blankets, giggled and struggles as the boys did their best to get their parents out of bed.

"Ah! He's got me!" Derek exclaimed as Greyson ended up on his belly, tickling him as Derek pretended to be tickled to the edge of the bed, where he pushed Greyson onto the bed and promptly rolled off with a thud.

"He escaped!" Richie squealed as he hopped from the bed as Derek attempted to crawl towards the door. Richie jumped onto his back, followed by Greyson, who grabbed hold of his brother as Derek laughed as he carried the two boys across the floor.

"Oh my gosh, you two are so heavy!" Derek exclaimed as he fell to his belly where the boys laughed and giggled.

Meredith crawled to the end of the bed and peeked over at the three boys rolling in laughter. "You got him?" Meredith asked.

"We got him!" Richie giggled.

"Who wants some celebration pancakes?"

"Me! Me!" Richie and Greyson exclaimed as they hopped about beside their father as he laughed.

"Alright, let's go!" She said, watching as the two boys cheered and ran out of the room and down the stairs. She walked to the end of the bed and watched as Derek lay on his belly, still sprawled out on the floor. Giggling, she sat on his back and leaned over to his ear as he looked up at her out of the corner of his eye. "When do I get a ride?" She asked with a giggle as she whispered in his ear.

"You got a ride last night… if I remember correctly… don't be greedy…" He chuckled as he felt her fingers running through his hair. She laughed as she stood up, kissing his cheek as she moved off him.

"Get up and get dressed, you dirty, lazy man…" She giggled as grabbed her bathrobe and made her way out of the bedroom as she listened to him laughing behind her.

Breakfast was finished and Derek was sitting at the kitchen table with Greyson on his lap putting helium in balloons as Meredith readied the dining room for their guests that would be coming soon. Richie sat at the table, playing with a couple of new toys that he had gotten from his parents as the doorbell rang.

They all looked up and Richie grinned brightly. "That's probably Granny!" He exclaimed happily as he jumped from his spot and ran for the front door.

"Make sure you check to make sure it's Granny first!" Meredith called as she watched Derek chuckle from his spot at the table. "What are you giggling about?" She asked with a smirk.

"I'm just imagining him opening the door and letting some stranger in the house…" Derek laughed.

"Oh yes… that would be hilarious…" Meredith laughed as she shook her head.

"Granny is here! Granny is here! She brought me a BIG cake!" He squealed happily as he slid into the kitchen.

"Are you just slamming doors in her face, or did you let her in?" Derek chuckled.

"Oh." Richie said with a grin as he turned around and opened the door to the kitchen. "Come this way, Granny… right through here…" He said as he hopped a little on his toes in excitement. "Don't drop it! "Everyone out of the way!" Richie exclaimed as Meredith walked towards the door and smiled as Marion walked through holding the birthday cake in her arms. She greeted her and held her hands out to carefully take it. "Mommy! Do NOT drop that cake!" He exclaimed.

"Hug your grandmother and put a sock in it…" Meredith said with a smirk as she rolled her eyes and took the cake from Marion.

"Granny! I missed you so much!" Richie said with an excited smile as she bent down a little to give the little boy a hug.

"I can't believe you're five years old already! Five years old, wow!" She exclaimed as she looked at the little boy's smiling face, poking his nose lightly with her finger. "And how old are you now, little boy that granny hardly ever sees…" Mrs. Shepherd asked as she turned around to Greyson.

Greyson turned his head into his father's chest, refusing to look at his grandmother as he held tightly to Derek. "Grey… go say hi to Granny…"

"No, thank you…" He whimpered into Derek's shirt as Derek shrugged.

"He'll warm up…" He said softly.

"Greyson's a big baby, Granny… he's afraid of EVERYTHING…" Richie exclaimed.

"Richard…" Derek said in a warning tone, watching Richie's smile fade at the sound of his father's voice.

"Um…" Richie said, raising his eyebrows. "He's shy."

"Well, that's alright…" Mrs. Shepherd said with a smile as she walked towards the counter. "I don't want to pressure you into anything, sweetheart…"

"Granny, want to see my new toys?" Richie asked with a smile as he grasped her hand.

"Well, sure…" She said with a smile as she smiled to Derek. "We're going to go take a look at his new toys…" She said with a smile.

Derek smiled at his mother as Richie pulled her lightly from the room and Meredith turned around and looked to Greyson who was peeking out at the door. "Grey… go on in the other room and give your Granny a hug…"

"No, thank you." Greyson said as he loosened his grip and waited for Derek to blow up the next balloon. "Next…" He said in a small voice.

"Grey… why won't you say hi to Granny…" She asked in a stern voice.

"Daddy needs help… hush…" He said as he glared at his mother.

"Greyson…" Meredith said as she walked closer to him.

"Meri… he'll be alright… he just needs to take his time…" Derek said, trying to interrupt the confrontation before it became worse. "And don't you ever tell your mother to hush…" Derek said to his son, who put his head down as he waited for the next balloon.

"Sorry…" He mumbled as he glanced up at his mother.

"Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be the longest two months of my life?" Meredith whispered as she turned around towards the sink.

---------------

The festivities started and the guests began to arrive. All of Derek's sisters and brother in laws were there, all of their children. Ellis, Mark, Cristina and even a few friends of Richie's from daycare were able to make it. The house was filled to the brim with children and adults, talking, laughing, running, giggling. Richie had opened all of his gifts and they were all eating cake while Derek sat with Greyson on his lap. The little boy had spent most of the day close to his father, following him around, insisting that he sit in his lap, and though he was a lot less shy than when the party had started, he clung to Derek very closely.

"Why aren't you playing with everyone else?" Mrs. Shepherd asked as Greyson looked up at Derek as he put a mouthful of cake in his mouth.

"Cuz daddy is going…" He shrugged. "I don't want daddy to go…"

"Daddy isn't going to be gone that long…" Derek shook his head. "You're not even going to notice…" He glanced to Ellis as she talked to one of his brother in laws across the room.

"No stories…" Greyson shrugged.

"I can still tell stories…" Derek shook his head as Marion watched the little boy.

"He's been very bashful…" She said as she watched Greyson carefully.

"He is incredibly bashful…" Derek said as he felt his son's fingertips digging into his skin. He reached his hands up to pull his fingers from his skin as Greyson looked up at his father.

"Is he hiding under tables?" Nancy asked, taking a bite of cake. Both Derek and Greyson's attention went to her.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Tables… does he hide under tables…?"

"Um…"

"Is he like… really attached to one stuffed animal?" Kathleen asked, sitting down beside her brother as she ran her fingers through her nephew's hair as he watched her eyes for a moment.

"What are you guys…"

"He does, doesn't he?" Nancy laughed.

"Girls…" Marion said shaking her head. "That's enough…"

"No… no… I mean… Did Meri tell you that…?"

"No, sweetheart… Meri doesn't have to tell us that…" Marion said shaking her head. "You… were… the exact same way that Greyson is… though… it looks like Richie is doing the work of four sisters there at making poor Grey feel a little insecure…"

"Wait…" Derek said with a chuckle as he shook his head. "I used to…"

"Hide under the table EVERY time the doorbell rang…" Joann laughed. "Every time it was time to take a bath, take your medicine, time to do anything that you didn't want… you were notorious..."

"I don't… remember…"

"You're probably blocking it out of your memory…" Nancy shrugged. "You were hilarious…" She said with a laugh as Greyson looked up into his father's eyes as he laughed nervously. Derek looked into his eyes and smiled softly, letting him know that even if his aunts thought that his attachment was silly, that he still appreciated it, and loved him. Greyson lay his head on his father's shoulder and closed his eyes, dreading the moment that he was going to say goodbye as Derek snuggled him closer, thinking the same thing.

-------------

By six o'clock that evening, the festivities had come to an end. Everyone was stuffed full of cake and snacks and the number of guests began to dwindle. Derek's family slowly left, and Ellis had gone home to get her things, prepared to pick up Derek and Richie at eight to get to the airport. Marion had offered to stay with Meredith and Greyson for the night, the first night that Meredith and Derek had spent this far apart, ever. Normally if they were apart, one of them was at the hospital, and the other was at the house. This was an entirely different experience, and Marion understood that Meredith would never ask for help with it, but she knew it was going to be hard for the first couple of nights.

Derek was in his bedroom, checking over his bags one more time as the time came nearer for Ellis to be arriving. Marion was downstairs with the boys, helping them clean the kitchen and dining room from all of the festivities. He could feel her enter the room as he tucked something into the suitcase.

"What was that?" Meredith whispered as she walked into the room.

His eyes turned and he gave her a sheepish smile. "Nothing…" He whispered as he shook his head, zipping the suitcase.

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his arm as she looked around him. Her eyes moved to the bed, where she noted that her pillow was lying in the middle. "You took my pillowcase?" She whispered with an incredulous giggle.

"Shh…" He said as he turned around, touching his fingertips to her chin. "You're making me seem creepy…" He said as he shook his head.

"It's not creepy…" She whimpered as tears came to her eyes. "You're going to miss me…"

"I'm going to miss you… like crazy…" He whispered as he leaned down and left a lingering kiss on her lips. "Now no crying…" He whispered. "I don't do crying…" He said with a sly smile as she closed her eyes tightly, letting the tears roll down her cheeks.

"Or dishes…" She giggled as he laughed, rubbing his nose against hers as she let a tear or two fall.

"Meredith…I promise you… I'll take good care of her." He said, looking into her eyes as she opened them.

"I know you will…" Meredith whispered.

"I'll take good care of Richie… and myself too… I promise… we'll all come back in one piece… and I promise that I'm going to figure out what's running through your crazy mother's head…" Derek said as he watched her smile sadly.

"She won't tell you, Derek."

"I know that… but I'm pretty perceptive, I think… I think I'll be able to figure it out…" He nodded.

"I hope so…" She whispered as she kissed his lips softly, closing her eyes as she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, letting him lift her from the floor as he squeezed her tightly.

When eight o'clock finally arrived, Ellis walked to the front door, knocking lightly, the door opened and Richie stood there with a big happy grin. "You're ready to go, GG?" He asked.

"I'm all ready, sweetheart…" Ellis said as she smiled softly at her grandson's excitement.

"We're going on a plane!" He said excitedly as he grabbed his backpack and swung it onto his back.

Derek walked into the room from the kitchen, smiling softly as Meredith followed behind him. "After all the excitement today, he's still got energy burning up in that little body of his…" Ellis said with a shake of her head.

"He'll sleep like a baby on that plane." Derek said, feeling Meredith squeeze his hand, his eyes flashed to hers as she gave him a sad look. Marion stepped in from the kitchen to say goodbye and Derek looked around for a moment. "Where is Grey?" Just then, the French doors from the living room behind them opened and a tiny form could be seen pulling something across the floor. "Greyson, what are you doing?" Derek asked as he released Meredith's hand and approached his son.

"You forgot your little bag, daddy…" Greyson said as he looked up at his father.

"That's weird… I thought I had put it with the suitcase…" He said, glancing to the three suitcases by the wall. He lifted the carryon bag over his shoulder, and lifted his son as well. "Thank you for remembering it." He said with a smile as he kissed his son.

"No problem…" Greyson said with a giggle as he was carried to the foyer where everyone was standing.

There was an awkward pause as the six of them stood looking at one another, Meredith internally stopping herself from begging him to stay, Richie excited for this new adventure and Derek, silently wishing Meredith would beg him to stay. "We should… probably get going…" Derek said softly as he leaned into his mother and kissed her cheek softly. "Thank you for staying with them…" He whispered.

"It's no problem at all, dear…" Marion said with a smile as she gave him a squeeze.

"Bye, Granny…" Richie said as he hugged his grandmother, and got a kiss on the cheek from her.

"You be a good boy, my big five year old!" Marion said as she felt the energy in his hug heighten when she said that.

Richie released from the hug and turned to his mother. "Hugs, mommy!" He said as Meredith bent down and gave him a big hug and a dozen kisses on his cheek as he giggled. "Mommy! Let go! Hahaha! Mommy!" He exclaimed as Meredith finally let go of him. She ran her hand through his unruly hair and watched him smile.

"You be a good boy for your daddy and GG… and don't forget that you can call mommy any time, day or night… I will be waiting by the phone for your call… and the minute you want to come back home… you let me know… and I'll come get you if I have to…" She said, eyeing Derek and Ellis. "Keep your daddy company… and don't let either one of them get into any trouble… you know how they bicker…"

"I'll put them in a time out if they misbehave, Mommy…" Richie said with a smile as he bounced and kissed her nose. "I love you!" He said excitedly as he ran to Ellis and grabbed her hand.

"Are you going to be a good boy?" Derek asked Greyson as the little boy gripped his shirt.

"Uh huh…" He nodded with a sly grin as he leaned forward and kissed his daddy's cheek. "I love you, Daddy…" He said, pushing his forehead against Derek's as he looked directly in his eyes.

"I love you too, my little prince…" Derek said as he kissed his cheek. "Now, remember what I told you…"

"I will…" He said as he glanced to Meredith. "Mommy says we're going to party…" He said with a grin.

"I'm sure that's exactly what she said." Derek said with a laugh as he raised his eyebrows. He then set his son to the floor and let him say his goodbyes to Ellis.

He walked to her and touched her hand. "GG… you be a good girl… I love you." He said with a sweet smile.

"I love you, buddy…" She said softly as she crouched down to receive one of his sweet kisses on her cheek. "Be the best boy ever… and don't be afraid… GG and daddy and Richie… we're not too far away… we love you very much…"

"I love you…"

"Take good care of your Mama…" Ellis said as she glanced up at Meredith. "No matter how big she gets, she'll always be my little girl…" She whispered as Greyson giggled.

"Bye, GG." He kissed her cheek again as he walked to his mother and grasped her hand.

Derek stepped forward and kissed his wife softly on the lips. Their eyes were lost in one another's for a moment. "I'll call you the second we get off the plane…" He whispered.

"Good…" She smiled. "Because you know that I won't sleep until I hear your voice…" She said with a smile. "I love you, Derek." She whispered.

"I love you, Meri…" He said softly as he kissed her again, touching her skin as h breathed in her scent. "We'll be home before you know it…" He said as he kissed her cheek.

The family's hugs and kisses lingered out onto the porch and to the car, where eventually, Richie, Derek and Ellis slipped into the evening's coming darkness.

-----

Meredith tried to relax herself as she thought of her husband and son traveling through the night, but as the evening wore on, she became slightly distraught, her thoughts plaguing her mind as she held her little boy on the couch, his body snuggled into hers as periodically, Marion would ask her if she needed anything, where she would politely decline. She wasn't worried about Derek, though she missed him terribly. She knew that Richie would be fine, though probably drive his father up a wall with questions and his unbridled excitement of everything. She was worried about the hollow look on her mother's face, the distant look in her eyes, the pale complexion. She knew that there was more to the trip than just packing boxes and memories. She just wished she knew what it was.

It was getting later, and Meredith watched Greyson's gaping mouth as he slept in her arms. She smiled and shook her head as she supported his head a little better, and carefully lifted the little boy from the couch and gently carried him up the stairs. She entered the little boy's room and sighed softly as she gently lay him in his bed. She pulled his covers to his chin and watched as he cuddled down into his blankets. Her eyes traveled up and down the blankets as she felt beneath them and she knelt and looked under the bed. "Grey?" Meredith said softly as she touched the little boy's hand. "Grey, sweet pea…" She whispered as the little boy opened his eyes. "Where is Snuggle bear, sweetheart?"

The little boy smiled a soft, sleepy smile as he looked into his mother's eyes. He took a slow deep breath as he yawned a little. "He's in Seattle with daddy..." The little boy said softly as his eyes slowly closed.

------------

Derek settled in his seat as he glanced to Richie, who was staring out the window, amazed by the clouds that they were whisking over in the evening twilight. The lights of the city below amazed him as he happily stared out of the window. His eyes traveled to the other side, where Ellis sat, her face straight ahead as she kept her eyes closed, obviously trying to block the sounds of the plane from her mind as the announcement came over the loudspeaker that they had reached cruising altitude. He smiled softly as he reached beneath his seat, carefully pulling his carryon bag from within its confines. He pulled the bag to his lap and very slowly unzipped the top zipper. His breath caught slightly as he caught sight of a familiar object within the bag. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes as slowly and carefully, he pulled the object from within the bag, lifting it into his hands, he felt the gentle fur beneath his fingertips. He stared into the eyes of the gentle teddy, so tenderly placed within his books and journals, ready for an adventure, it seemed.

"Daddy…" Richie whispered when he caught site of the object in his hands. "Daddy, that's Snuggle bear…" He said, his eyes widened in surprise as he watched the look on his father's face.

"It is…" Derek choked out as he brought the teddy to his face, breathing in the soft, sweet, gentle scent of his little boy that he had left with his mother, his eyes closing tightly as he felt his tears fall gently on the teddy's worn fur as he hugged the bear close to his heart.


	5. First Day Away

Chapter 4- First Day Away

4:00 AM- Boston-

Meredith lay in her bed staring at the ceiling as she had been since she tried going to bed three hours earlier. Her cell phone was on her chest and her eyes were staring straight up at the ceiling as she closed her eyes tightly and then opened them again, staring at the ceiling once again.

"I can do alone." She whispered to herself. "I've done alone before…" She whispered. "Alone isn't bad…" She turned her head and looked to the empty side of the bed. "Alone is lonely." She whispered as she reached her hand out, running it along the cool bed sheet, she breathed deeply and she could smell his scent in the covers. She could almost feel his arms around her as she opened her eyes back up to the cold reality. "I'm such an idiot for letting him leave." She sighed as she rolled over to her other side, staring at the wall across the room as the phone fell to the bed. "What was I thinking?" She whispered.

Suddenly she felt the buzzing of the phone on the bed and grabbed for it, sending it flying across the room. "Shit!" She exclaimed as she leapt from the bed to grab it, only to send it flying under her dresser and her head hitting the drawer on the way down. "Ow!" She exclaimed as she grabbed her head for a moment and reached her arm under the dresser to grab the phone, she flipped it open quickly. "Ow…" She mumbled into the phone.

"Ow?" His voice was almost humored as he heard the pain in her voice. "Meri, what's wrong?"

"I hit my head…" She mumbled as she rubbed the knot on her head as she curled her legs up as she lay on the floor.

"You hit your head? How did you hit your head?"

"Flying leap…" She whispered. She heard his soft laugh on the other side of the line and smiled as she imagined his smile. "I heard about the stowaway…" Meredith smiled softly.

Derek paused for a moment as he sighed softly. "Yes… the stowaway…" Derek chuckled.

"He's a sneaky one, that Snuggle bear…"

"Very covert…" Derek whispered. "Very mysterious, that bear…" Derek said with a laugh.

"You're there?" She asked, finally, her smile soft and sad as she listened to his voice.

"Yes… yes, we're here… just got off the plane… and I have a sleeping five year old flung over my shoulder as we make our way to the luggage carousel…"

"And my mother?"

"Oh, I flung her over my other shoulder…" Derek laughed, glancing to Ellis, who eyed him with a smirk. "I'm very strong…she's stringy…" Derek said as Ellis now glared at him. "Sorry…" He chuckled as Meredith giggled over the line. "Did I wake you up?" He asked softly.

"No." She whispered. "I can't sleep without you."

"Meri…" he whispered.

"I miss you terribly…" She whimpered. "Being alone sucks…"

"Meri…" He said softly. "I love you."

"I love you." She swallowed hard.

"Get some sleep… call in sick tomorrow if…"

"No, I can't call in sick…"

"Mom is going to be there for a few days… is Grey going to stay with her?"

"Yes." She said with a soft smile.

"She'll stay as long as you want, Meri. All you have to do is ask." Derek replied.

"I can do this, Derek… I can… You just take care of things on your side of the country… quickly…and come home…" Meredith whispered.

"I'll let you try to sleep…" Derek said as his voice became lower.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you, sweetheart." Derek replied softly, hearing the gentle sound of her breath on the other side of the line. "Call me back… anytime." He whispered.

"Same for you." Meredith replied. "Sweet dreams, Derek."

"Sweet dreams, sweetheart." Derek replied, listening to the phone click on the other line. He was just about to put the phone in his pocket when he felt it buzz again. He grinned as Ellis rolled her eyes, as they stopped in front of the baggage carousel. "What are you doing?" He asked with a smirk.

"You said I could call you back any time…" She said softly with a smile.

"I did say that, didn't I?" He asked.

"Are you smiling?" She asked.

"I am."

"Good… I love you…" She said softly. "Now get that child and that old woman to bed…" She giggled.

"You're delirious from lack of sleep." Derek laughed.

"Maybe… but you love me anyway…"

"I love you because…" He said as they slipped into a soft silence that neither wanted to say goodbye from. After a moment, he heard the line click as she hung the phone up and he smiled, knowing that he would hear her voice again soon and that she just wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Three days of no Derek, three days of frequent phone calls and calling in sick to try to combat the insomnia that she was experiencing and the angry three year old that was clinging to her like a baby monkey. Three days of Marion Shepherd trying her best to help them throughout their day. The fourth day was beginning, and it started off with a bang.

Meredith woke suddenly from a blood curdling scream from down the hallway. She leapt from the bed, nearly falling over herself as she slammed her body into the floor. She crawled half way towards the door, leaving the blankets behind as she seemed to be running in place for a moment before she ran down the hallway. She burst into her son's room and found him sitting on his bed sobbing.

"Greyson! Greyson, what is wrong?" She asked, her body aching from the bumps and bruises that she had gotten on her way into the room. She knelt at his bedside as he sobbed, his hands gripping the blanket. She grabbed him into her arms as he sobbed.

"Snuggle bear…" He whimpered. "Snuggle… bear…" He sobbed. "I can't find him…" He whimpered, his hands grasping her shirt as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Oh… baby…" Meredith whispered as she rocked him. "Don't you remember, little one? You gave Snuggle bear to daddy…"

"Tell daddy to give him back… tell daddy I want him back…"

"Sweetheart, daddy is away… daddy went to Seattle…"

"No… No… tell daddy to come home… tell daddy to bring Snuggle bear home… tell daddy I need him… I want daddy!" He exclaimed as he pushed his mother, falling backwards onto the bed. "I WANT DADDY!" He shouted as he rolled on his back, his face was red with anger.

"Baby…" Meredith whispered as she reached for her son.

"No! No! I want my Snuggle bear!" He exclaimed as he rolled onto his belly and cried into his blankets. "I want my daddy! I want my daddy!" He exclaimed, rolling quickly, he climbed from the bed and ran from the room.

"Greyson!"

"Daddy! Daddy, where are you?" he called as he ran down the hallway towards his parent's bedroom. "Daddy! Daddy!" He exclaimed as he ran into the room. He looked at the bed, the blankets strewn about from his mother's mad dash into his room, and there was no sign of Derek. "Daddy!" He exclaimed, tears rolling down his cheeks as he ran from the bedroom, into the hallway. He looked down towards his bedroom where Meredith was standing with her hand over her mouth as she tried not to cry. "Where is my daddy?" He shouted as he took off towards the stairs.

"Greyson, stop!" Meredith exclaimed as she ran towards him, grasping him before he reached the stairs. He struggled in her arms as he kicked and fought.

"GIVE ME MY DADDY! WHERE IS MY DADDY! I WANT MY DADDY? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM? WHERE IS HE?"

"Oh my goodness!" Marion Shepherd's voice immediately stopped the little boy's screaming. "What on earth is going on out here?"

"Granny! Where is my daddy?" He cried, his tears rolling angrily down his cheeks as Meredith held him sideways, trying not to drop him. Her body was exhausted, her mind was exhausted, and her heart was exhausted. This wasn't the first fit that Greyson had since Derek had left, and she was trying her best to remain calm despite her frayed nerves. She needed to go to work in two hours, and Greyson needed to go to daycare. Meredith felt like she was keeping Mrs. Shepherd hostage.

"Daddy is away, little boy…" Marion said as she approached them, lifting Greyson from Meredith's arms as Meredith leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor. "Why on earth are you putting up such a fuss?"

"I… I need to tell daddy something… where is he?" Greyson sniffled.

"Greyson… he is helping your GG… you talked to him on the phone…"

"I wanna talk to him on the phone…" Greyson sniffled, looking up at Meredith. "Mama… I want to talk to daddy on the phone…"

"Sweetheart, its very early where daddy is…"

"I want to talk to daddy on the phone…" He repeated, ignoring his mother's reply. "Mama… I need daddy…" he whimpered.

Marion looked to Meredith, noting the exhausted look in her eyes as she shook her head, her eyes reflecting such a sadness for her little boy. "Why don't we wait a little bit… daddy is probably sleeping… you know how big of a lazy bones he is…" Marion whispered as she looked into her grandson's eyes.

"Daddy is a lazy bones…" He whispered.

"Why don't we wait… and we'll call him… maybe at lunch time… how does that sound? Daddy's usually awake at lunch time, isn't he?"

"Um… yes… yes, daddy… lunch time…" Greyson whispered, his eyelids becoming heavier as he sat in his grandmother's arms.

Meredith carefully stood up and walked over towards them, reaching her arms out for the little boy. She glanced to Mrs. Shepherd and sighed as she gave her a desperate look. "He'll get used to it…" Marion whispered. "I can stay a few more days…"

"No…" Meredith shook her head. "No, it's… it's alright… I… I'll just take him into my room until I have to get up… and…" Meredith pulled the little boy from his grandmother's arms softly and rocked him gently in her arms.

"Meredith… I'd like to stay… even if you take him into daycare and go to work… just… let me stay here for a couple more days, it would help me feel better…" Marion shook her head.

"You… you can stay…" She nodded with a kind smile. "Thank you… thank you for your help…" She whispered as she wrapped her arm around Marion tightly in a hug, before they parted ways and Meredith made her way back to her bedroom with Greyson.

------------------

Meredith lifted her son from the counter as she kissed his cheek. She held him close to her as she sighed. "You look sad, Mama…" Greyson whispered.

"Mama… has to go to work… there's nothing fun about work without daddy…" She said as she glanced to Marion. "Thank you for staying…" She said as she tilted her head. "I really don't want you to feel that you need to… I mean…"

"Sweetheart… that's nonsense…" Marion said as she walked towards Meredith. "Richard would spend a week or two away… conferences and such… and it was hard… I understand… now be glad you're not stuck with five of them to chase after, and you only have the one…" She said with a grin.

"You know…" Meredith said with a smirk. "Maybe that's what I needed…" She said, shaking her head. "A little perspective…"

"Exactly." Marion said as she gave Meredith a quick hug. "Now you go to work… and you… young man…" She said as she gave her grandson a little poke on the nose. "You be a good boy in daycare… and granny will be here when you get home…"

"Love you, granny…" Greyson whispered as he leaned forward and kissed his grandmother's cheek as she touched his cheek.

"I love you too, my littlest one." She said as she watched his eyes sparkle as he leaned back in Meredith's arms.

-----------

They arrived at the hospital promptly at six-thirty and there were no issues with dropping Greyson off at daycare. Meredith rushed to the surgical floor and half jogged down the hallway.

"Psst! Mer!" She heard a voice coming from a door as she passed it. She would recognize that 'psst' anywhere. She stopped and turned, only to be wrenched into an exam room.

"Ow… Jesus, what is…"

"Hush…" Cristina said as she shook her head.

"I haven't heard from you since Saturday…"

"That's because of the new sheriff in town…"

"What?"

"The interim chief… he's… not…he…"

"Cristina… what the hell are you…"

"I didn't think it was possible… but your mother found someone worse than her…"

"What?"

"The interim chief! He's like… the devil incarnate's incarnate…"

"My mother being the devil incarnate in this scenario, I'm assuming…"

"Just be happy that you've been gone for three days… but I get the feeling this guy has been looking for you…"

"Who is it?"

"Some guy from Boston Presbyterian… Doctor… Hanna…"

"Doctor Hanna? Seriously?"

"You know him?"

"I've met him… He's a real hard ass…"

"No kidding… He put me on scut yesterday because he said he didn't like the look on my face." Cristina growled.

"That's the same look you always have on your face…"

"I know!" Cristina exclaimed.

"This is going to be a long day, isn't it?" Meredith whispered as she looked down at her beeping pager.

"Let the games begin…" Cristina exclaimed as her pager sounded as well.

---------------

Derek rolled out of the bed that he was sleeping in, looking around the room, he coughed a little at the view of the outside through the dusty window. He had hardly a chance to actually take a look around the room that he had been staying in. For the past four days, Ellis had been getting them up early, and having them spend enough time outside the house to take up the whole day and wear them out. Not one item in the house had been touched or packed besides the bed that each of them had slept in.

Richie was having the time of his life, and from the sound of his chattering voice downstairs, he was telling his GG another one of his famous tall tales that never failed to get Ellis to laugh. He stood in the doorway, his head poking out as he smiled and stepped back into the bare room. He looked down in his hands and realized that once again, he had woken up with that old worn teddy bear in his arms. He smiled as he looked at Snuggle bear, his brown fur matted and loved. His left eye had fallen out, replaced by a little thread and a blue bead in the middle. Greyson had insisted that Snuggle bear's eyes be blue… that was the color of his mama's eyes. Derek looked at the tiny bead as he sat on the bed, picturing the eyes of his wife.

He could see them looking up at him with that tiny sparkle that he had fallen in love with from the moment that he had seen it. He missed her voice, her eyes, her scent. He leaned down on the pillow and breathed in the scent from her pillowcase. "I'm hopeless…" He whispered as he lay the bear on the pillow gently, pulling the blanket to cover him.

He turned and pulled on a pair of jeans over his boxer shorts, and tossed a t-shirt over his head as he opened the door and walked out, making his way down the creaky old stairs towards the dining room.

He walked inside to see his son kneeling on a chair, his arms open wide in an exaggerated story as Ellis sat across from her, her eyes amused as she listened.

"So we're packing today?" Derek asked, watching as Richie turned around.

"Daddy! I was tellin' a story!"

"Well, excuse me…" Derek raised his eyebrows.

"It's okay… it was almost done anyway… I'll finish later, GG." He said with a giggle as he sat down on the chair. "Where are we going today?" he asked with a grin.

"I was thinking we'd take a ride on the monorail!" Ellis said excitedly as Richie grinned.

"That sounds fun!" He exclaimed. Suddenly, his face became serious. "What's that?" he asked.

Ellis laughed and opened her mouth to explain.

"No." Derek shook his head. "No monorail… no more space needle, no trips to look at the mountains… none of that… we came here to get the house packed, we need to start getting the house packed."

"Derek." Ellis shook her head. "I thought that you knew how to have fun."

"I didn't leave my son and wife to come out here to have fun, Ellis. I came out here to help you pack and get ready to go. If we were coming out here to have fun, I would have brought Meredith and Grey." He said in an irritated tone.

"Derek…"

"No…" Derek shook his head. "I'm sorry… but it has been three days since we have gotten here, and we haven't picked up one finger…"

"We have some time, Derek." Ellis replied.

"I want to go home." He said as he turned and walked out of the dining room, his eyes were filled with determination as the door closed behind him.

Ellis listened carefully, and she heard some things being shifted around in the family room of the house. She jumped from her chair and made her way quickly to the family room. "Derek, what are you doing?" She asked, watching as he gathered some knick knacks from the shelves and began to wrap them in newspaper.

"I'm packing things, Ellis." He said as he watched her. "If you want to take Richie somewhere… by all means… but I'm going to get things packed so that we can go home." He said with a shake of his head.

"Derek… this isn't… the way that…"

"What? This isn't what you intended on happening when we got here? Because if that's what you're saying… then you lied to me… is that what you're saying, Ellis, did you lie to me?" Derek asked accusingly.

She eyed him carefully, the determination in his eyes was strong and unwavering. "There are other things that I need to do… besides pack." She whispered.

"Yes… I'm sure." Derek said, looking down at the things he was continuing to pack.

"I… why don't we… I'm going to take Richie on the monorail… and… and then we can come back here and start to pack… how does that sound?" She asked softly as she approached him.

He eyed her carefully. "Will you talk to me?" He asked.

"Derek. I don't talk… it's not your concern anyway…" She shook her head.

"Then I am getting ready to go back home." Derek said as he stood up, placing the box on the couch as he walked towards the stairs, ascending them quickly as he left Ellis standing in the family room alone.

Derek, Ellis, and Richie walked into the front door of the house, they were tired, though not exhausted from the day that they had. "The monorail was awesome!" Riche exclaimed. "Can I call mommy and tell her about it?" He asked with a happy excitement as he hopped onto the couch, glancing to his father.

"We'll both call mommy in a little while, why don't we have dinner first, and then we'll call her." Derek asked as he glanced to Ellis.

Ellis seemed to be a bit distracted, her eyes were focused on the wall across the room as she suddenly closed her eyes tightly for a second and slowly opened them, as if she were trying to focus. It was just a slight action, but Derek caught every second of it, turning his head before she realized that he had been watching her. Derek then turned towards the kitchen to begin making dinner, with Richie close behind.

"Can I help you, Daddy?" He asked as he moved beside Derek as he moved to the refrigerator and pulled a few items out.

"Sure you can, buddy…" Derek said with a smile as he handed his son a couple of things and let him carry them to the counter.

-------------

Ellis had gone upstairs to work on packing a few things as Derek prepared dinner. When dinner was ready, the three of them gathered around the dining room table as they ate in silence, the sound of clanking forks on the plates was the only noise that filled the room. "So are you going to tell me the real reason we're here?" Derek asked, glancing up at Ellis as she continued to eat.

"To put things to rest, Derek." Ellis said, her eyes flashing up to Derek as they went back to her plate. Her voice was serious and stern as she continued to eat.

"That's not good enough of an answer for me, Ellis." Derek replied, playing Ellis' game of turning things professional. "In this city, I am not your employee, and you are not my employer… In this city, we are equals… you are a person that I care about… because you mean something to so many people that I love… if there is something going on that you're not telling me about, I will be very disappointed when I find out."

"And you think that I genuinely care about your disappointment, Derek?" Ellis asked, looking up into Derek's eyes, her face stern and cold as she watched him stare back at her.

"You care."

"I do not care, Derek. I do not need your approval."

"You need it." Derek nodded as he took a bite from his fork.

"Derek… do you regret anything in your life?" Ellis asked. "Is there anything in your life… that you have done, that you feel that you cannot rest peacefully until you do it?" She asked.

"No." He replied honestly.

"Good for you." Ellis said as she stood up with her plate, walked to the sink and placed it within. She turned quickly and walked out of the kitchen quickly.

Derek sat at the table, his son's eyes on him as he watched him. "Is it just me, or is your GG acting kind of funny?" Derek whispered.

"She's acting sad, Daddy." Richie whispered. "She sounds scared."

"That's what I thought." Derek said as he stood up and walked to the freezer. He pulled a container of ice cream from it and walked to the table. He slid it across the table at his son, whose eyes were wide with surprise as he grinned. "Stay in here...Don't get a tummy ache… and do not…under any circumstances tell your mother…" He said with a grin as he tossed his son a spoon and turned towards the living room after Ellis.

Derek stepped into the living room, following after the quickly retreating figure of Ellis Grey. "Ellis, you are going to have to talk to me about this." Derek said as he followed her.

"I don't have to do anything that I don't want to, Derek." She said as she turned around slowly. "You should know that."

"I didn't come all the way out here to…"

"Then go home, Derek." She said sternly. "You don't want to be here… take your son, go home… alright? It's fine… I will not hold you back, I won't beg and I won't make you feel guilty. You don't want to be here, that's fine… just go home." She said as she turned towards the stairs.

"That's not what I want, Ellis… I want to know why you're here… why it takes two months to clean a house that half the things were already packed, and why you haven't even started it yet…Why are we going on all of the excursions around the city when what we should be doing is getting back home?"

"I was trying to show my grandson Seattle." She said as she glared at him. "I was showing you Seattle as well… and you had gotten off your angry, irritated, spoiled, selfish high horse for two seconds, you would have seen that and possibly enjoyed yourself." She said sternly as she walked up the stairs.

"I enjoyed myself…" Derek retorted as he followed her up the stairs.

"Don't you lie to me." Ellis said as she turned sharply. Derek nearly ran into her and he took a step down as he stopped. "You stood there the entire time complaining about all of the things that we had to get done… You weren't thinking of your son, and you weren't thinking about having a good time… you were thinking of yourself… that's all you were thinking about…"

"I miss my wife!" He exclaimed.

"Well, I missed life!" Ellis growled as she stomped down the hallway to one of the bedrooms, swung the door open and stomped inside, slamming the door behind herself.

Derek stood outside the door for only a moment before he shook his head and grabbed the doorknob, swinging the door open.

"Excuse me…" She growled as she turned around quickly on her way through the room.

"No, excuse me!" Derek exclaimed. "What is this about, Ellis? Are you feeling guilty because you didn't spend time with Meredith when she was younger, so you're trying to make up for it through Richie? I always wondered why Meredith avoided things… why she would always walk away when things were getting difficult or confusing… I always thought that maybe it was because she was scared, maybe it was because no one ever listened to her and she thought that there was no point in bothering… but I understand now… I understand it…"

"Derek… you're babbling." Ellis said angrily.

"She does that too." Derek said as he took a step forward. "But I think that is because she didn't think people were listening… that was her nervous tic… the avoiding… the avoiding seems to be hereditary…" He said with a growl. "Now tell me why the hell you dragged me across the goddamned country, Ellis… Because you know that whatever it is you're going to have to tell me eventually… you may as well just get it out in the open right now… what's going on with you? Are you sick? Are you dying? Are you just waiting for a good time to murder me so that you can take my son and run off and raise him as your own?"

"Stop prying!"

"Stop giving me a reason to pry!"

"Go home!"

"Tell me!" Derek exclaimed. "Just out with it! Tell me what the hell is going on!"

"I'm dying! I'm dying! Alright? Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now that I've said it out loud? Are you happy, Derek? I am going to die! It could happen today, it could happen a week, it could happen in three months… Are you glad that you know now? Are you glad that you squeezed that last bit of resolve from me? Are you happy with yourself?" She exclaimed, her face was red and angry as he watched her eye start to twitch slightly, the angrier that she became.

"Ellis…" Derek said, suddenly calmer, watching her swallow hard, tipping back slightly.

"Now get out of my room and leave me alone!" She shouted, her breathing slightly labored as she sat backwards on the bed, feeling for it as she sat down. Her eye was twitching more as she put her head in her hands.

"Ellis, are you… are you alright?" he asked as he watched her hold her head tightly.

"I… I am fine…" She growled as she held her head tightly, her hands trembling.

"Richie!" Derek called as he crouched to Ellis to try to get a better look at her. "Richie!" He called.

"What, Daddy?" He called from downstairs.

"Get daddy's cell phone!" He called. "Daddy needs to make a phone call!" He said, as suddenly Ellis tipped to the side, passing out in his arms. He checked to make sure she was still breathing and he lifted her in one quick second, swinging her into his arms as he ran out of the door with her. "Nevermind, buddy! Get into the car!" he exclaimed trying not to panic as he made sure that Ellis was still breathing as he rushed her downstairs to the car as he rushed them to the hospital.

-----------------------

The day had been long and hard, and the interim chief seemed to be making it his personal job to make it that way. Every time she had a chance to sit down, she was paged. She had run to every corner of the hospital that day, and now she wanted nothing more than to pick up her son and bring him home. She wanted to curl onto the couch with him and watch a movie, or watch him eat a big ice cream sundae, or just see him smile.

Dr. Hanna seemed to have it in his head that Meredith was spoiled in some way, that she was unable to handle the simplest of tasks though she had already surpassed so many other residents in skill, bedside manner and talent on her own. She took the day in stride and walked to the daycare. She sighed as she opened the door, glancing to the woman behind the counter as she smiled. Her eyes were a little concerned as she stepped around the corner. "Doctor Shepherd." Candy said softly, her eyes filled with concern now, her head tilted. "Can we talk about Greyson?"

"Greyson…" Meredith sighed. She wanted to close her eyes and take a deep breath, but there was no time for breath. "Is something going on with Greyson?" She knew better, but she needed to ask.

"He's under the table again." Candy said softly, nodding towards the room. "He went under it at about noon and he refuses to come out."

"It's nearly seven o'clock!" Meredith exclaimed as she walked towards the door.

"We gave him his snacks and such… but he seems really bothered by something… is something… going on at home? I know he wasn't here for a few days… and Richie is with Doctor Shepherd."

"He's probably just adjusting…" Meredith shook her head as she glanced into the room. "My poor baby…" She sighed. "You couldn't get him to come out?"

"He only wanted you or Doctor Shepherd… and every time I called upstairs, they said that you were responding to something. It wasn't an emergency… probably just a phase…" Candy said softly. "Go on in… I'm sure he'll be happy to see you…" She said as she opened the door.

Meredith stepped into the room and glanced to the circular table. Beneath it, she could see the little boy crouched over a piece of paper with several crayons. She walked to the table and peeked beneath. "Are you going to live under there?" She whispered, watching his head swing in her direction.

"Mommy!" He said with a smile as he crawled toward her. "Mommy, mommy, mommy…" He said as he crawled out and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly as she wrapped her arms around him.

"My little prince…" She whispered as she kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry that I missed lunch today, baby…"

"I missed you…" He groaned into his mother's neck.

"Let's go home, baby…" She whispered as she lifted him from the floor and held him tightly against her as she carried him from the room. "This is just not our day..." She whispered.

-----------

Derek was able to get Ellis in the car and Richie settled before he peeled out of the driveway quickly.

"Where are we going, Daddy?"

"The hospital, buddy…" Derek said, trying to remain as calm and positive sounding as possible.

"The hospital? Why? What's wrong with GG? Is she okay?"

"She's just taking a nap, buddy…"

"Is that why you carried her to the car daddy? Because she's taking a nap? Like you carry me and Grey to the car when we're sleeping?"

"Exactly." Derek replied as he drove, checking every other second to make sure that Ellis was breathing. He watched as her head lolled slightly as she started to regain consciousness. "Ellis… Ellis, can you hear me?" Derek said her name trying to get her to respond. Her eyes were half open and she was moving, but she wasn't responding to him.

"GG! Its me… It's Richie… Are you okay? Wake up from your nap, silly GG!" Richie exclaimed, he had a slight smile on his face, but he could see the concern in his father's eyes and it was starting to make him a little nervous.

"GG, did you hear that?" Derek said as he touched her hand. "Ellis… Richie wants to talk to you…" He said, his voice panicked as he pulled the car into the hospital parking lot, making his way quickly to the emergency bay behind it.

--------------

Meredith arrived home, lifting her son from the car, he instantly put his head on her shoulder. "We need to go inside… and snuggle on the couch with Granny and some soup… or some yummy macaroni and cheese… and wait for daddy to call… how does that sound?" She whispered softly as she held him to her.

"I miss daddy…" He mumbled as he held his mother's neck securely.

"I know that you miss daddy… I miss daddy… we all miss daddy…"

"I miss Richie…" He mumbled.

"I miss Richie too, little man…" She whispered as she carried him up the porch to the front door.

She carefully opened the door, and was immediately enveloped in the smell of tomato sauce. She groaned in satisfaction as she sighed. The smell was heaven and she kicked her shoes off as she smiled at Marion walking into the room. "You look like you had a very long day, dear…" She shook her head.

"Is that dinner cooking, or did I die and go to heaven?" Meredith asked with a smile.

Marion smiled as she shook her head. "You flatter me far too much, dear…"

"If you didn't cook so well, I wouldn't have to…" Meredith laughed as Greyson gripped her a little tighter. "There's Granny… say hi to Granny…"

Greyson turned his head and waved a tiny wave. "Hi, Granny…" He said softly.

"Why don't you go on and get him into his pajamas… bring him down and we'll have our dinner…"

"That sounds great!" Meredith said with a smile as she walked up the stairs.

She entered Greyson's room and carried him to his bed, carefully pulling his arms from around her neck, she set him on the bed.

"Alright… take your shirt off… and we'll get those jammies on…"

"No." He mumbled.

"No?"

"No, I'll keep my shirt on." He said as he nodded his head.

"Don't be silly…" She said as she carried his pajamas to his bed. She knelt beside the bed and tugged on the bottom of his shirt. He struggled a little and she pulled the shirt over his head and her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh my…" She said, covering her mouth with her hand. "Greyson, what happened!" She exclaimed suddenly as she looked at her son's body. His shoulders and chest had several bruises about the size of a nickel on his skin. He looked into his mother's eyes and saw her fear, her terror and his lip began to tremble and his eyes filled with tears.

Meredith grasped her son in her arms and lifted him, carrying him through the house and down the stairs. "Mom… Mom…" She whispered as she descended the stairs. She swung him around in her arms as he sniffled. "Mom!" She exclaimed, coming face to face with Marion, who heard her panicking her way down the stairs.

"What's going on… oh my goodness!" She exclaimed when she saw her grandson's chest. "What happened here?" She asked as she grasped the little boy from his mother. "Oh my goodness… oh my goodness…" She whispered as she watched the little boy whimper.

"What happened? Where… how did he…?" Meredith whimpered as she watched Marion lift him towards the kitchen as she felt her hands trembling. The light of the kitchen lit up the little boy's body a little more as she lifted him to the counter. She could see the fear in his face, the panic as his mother covered her mouth in fear as she grasped his grandmother's arm. She was practically hyperventilating as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, mommy… I'm sorry…" Greyson whimpered.

"No…no, no… no, baby…" Meredith shook her head as she ran her finger across her son's shoulder. "What happened? What happened, sweetheart… who hurt you?"

"No… mommy… I'm hungry…" he whispered as he grasped hold of his grandmother. "Jammies… and I'm hungry…"

"Greyson, sweetheart… you need to tell us what happened…" Marion said softly, running her fingers though his hair. "Who hurt you?"

"No…" He whimpered. "No…" He cried.

"Greyson… please, baby… tell mommy who hurt you? It had to be at daycare… who hurt you in daycare… was it one of the ladies? Did they hurt you?"

"Meredith… it looks like pinches… it looks like someone was pinching him."

Greyson held his fingers up to them, showing little pinchers with his fingers. "Ow… ow… ow…" he said as he pushed his fingers together again and again.

"Someone is pinching you, sweetheart? Who is hurting you… please, baby? Please tell me…" Meredith whispered as she tried to calm down, her heart was racing, the bruises on her son's body were making her stomach churn as she watched the fear in his eyes. "It's alright… mommy's not upset at you… she just doesn't want you to get hurt anymore… who hurt you? Was it someone at daycare?"

The little boy nodded his head, his hand grasping his grandmother as he looked into his mother's eyes.

"Was it one of the adults?" She whispered, watching him shake his head, letting Meredith breathe a sigh of relief. "One of the kids did this to you?"

"Yes." He whispered as he nodded, watching his mother slowly relax, his grandmother's eyes remaining sympathetic as he held out his arms. "Hug… hug, mommy…" he whispered as he was suddenly pulled into her arms and held onto tightly.

The phone rang, and Meredith and Marion looked up at it, as Meredith continued to hug her son. "That's probably Derek… I hope he's having a better day than us…" Meredith said softly as she glanced to Marion.

"I'll answer it, sweetheart… take him upstairs and finish getting him dressed… I'll talk to Derek and let him know you'll be right down…" She said softly as Meredith nodded, watching Marion answer the phone as she watched Meredith leave the room.

Marion lifted the receiver and spoke clearly into the line. "Hello?"

"Mom?" Derek's voice resonated with fear, his voice was slightly shaky as he held the phone tightly in his grip.

"Derek… What's wrong?"

"How did you know?"

"You know that I can tell… sweetheart, what's wrong? Is Richie alright?"

"He's fine…He's fine… listen… I'm really glad you were the one to answer the phone…" he shook his head.

"Derek…"

"Ellis… is in the hospital… we had to bring her to the hospital…"

"Ellis? Derek…" She whispered, her voice echoed the shock as she listened to her son's words.

"She passed out… and we brought her to the hospital… and she's been in and out for the past half hour… they just brought her down for an MRI… She…I…"

"Derek… will she be alright?" Marion whispered.

"Where is Meredith?" He asked quickly.

"She's upstairs with Greyson… Derek… Do you know about anything going on with Greyson in daycare?"

"Mom? What do you mean?" Derek's voice became deeper suddenly, hearing of a problem heightened his awareness even more than it already had been.

"He came home today with bruises, Derek… on his shoulders and chest… it looks like one of the other children have been pinching him…"

"Is he alright? Is Meredith alright? Jesus Christ… my poor little boy… just when I thought that this day couldn't get any goddamned worse!"

"Derek… he's alright… he'll be alright… how is Richie? How is he doing with everything going on over there?"

"He's alright… he knows that I'm nervous… he's being a good boy…"

"Good… tell him that Granny loves him very much…"

"I'll tell him…" Derek said softly. "Listen… don't tell Meredith anything until I know more, please… I will call as soon as I know more… I can't let anything happen… this can't happen…" He said, his voice was completely rattled as she heard him swallow hard.

"Derek… she has a right to know…"

"She does… but not until I know more." Derek replied. "I can't be there to hold her… and I don't want to scare her if there's nothing to be scared of… tell her that I'll call soon."

"I'll tell her, dear…" Marion said softly.

"Mom…" Derek whispered, his voice cracking. "Mom, I love you…"

"I love you too, sweetheart."

"I love you." He said softly again, as if a reminder that he really meant it, as he quickly hung up the phone.

Marion hung the phone on the receiver and took a deep breath. She heard the kitchen door open slowly and smiled softly as Meredith entered. "He had to go?" Meredith asked, glancing at Marion as she noticed she was no longer on the phone, she set Greyson to the floor and watched as he climbed into his chair. He looked like he was feeling better, a smile on his face as he looked up at the food on the table.

"He was calling to let you know that he was caught up in some things and for you not to worry… he wants to talk to you when you are relaxed."

"Did you tell him about…"

"I told him." Marion said softly.

"Thank you." She whispered. "I… I couldn't bear to tell him…" She said softly as she stepped forward and let Marion encircle her with her arms, holding the sad woman in her arms, grateful that Derek had waited to tell her his news.

--------------------

Derek paced back and forth in the waiting area. He watched his feet as he paced in smaller and smaller strides.

"Daddy, you're making me dizzy…" Richie said as he watched his father move back and forth.

"I'm sorry… I'm just… I'm concerned about your GG." He said softly as he smiled sadly at his son.

"GG is the boss… she'll be okay…" Richie said confidently.

"She is the boss, isn't she?"

"Yeah… She says she's the boss." Richie replied. "Sometimes Grey is scared of her…"

"Grey is scared of a lot of things lately…it seems…" Derek sighed as he sat down next to his son. "I know this is a weird question… but do you know of anyone in daycare that picks on any of the other kids?"

"Picks on?"

"Teases… hurts… makes fun of…" Derek explained, watching his son interpret his words.

"Uh huh…" He nodded. "Sure… Not me though… mama says its not nice to be mean…"

"No, you're right, it isn't nice to be mean…" Derek shook his head. "Is it a couple of kids… one particular kid?"

"There's Jason…" Richie shrugged.

"Jason? Is Jason mean to the other kids?"

"Sometimes he picks on Grey…" Richie shrugged. "But Grey tells me and I tell him to buzz off…"

"You tell him to buzz off?"

"Yes. That's what I tell him… why are you asking me about Jason? Was he picking on Grey?" Richie stood up and looked into his father's eyes. "He was, wasn't he? He was picking on Grey! I'm gonna beat him up!" He stomped angrily.

"You're not going to beat anyone up…" Derek shook his head.

"I'm so mad!" He exclaimed.

"Richie… calm down, buddy… Mommy is taking care of it… and Granny is taking care of it too…"

"Oh… Oh… I need to talk to Grey, Daddy… can I have your phone? Can I have your phone?" He asked, holding his hand out.

"You don't need my phone…"

"Oh… yes… yes, I do! I need to call Grey… I need to talk to Grey and tell him to punch Jason one across the nose!" He exclaimed.

"Richie…" Derek shook his head, half amused at his son's defense of his brother. "There will be no punching of anyone across the nose…" Derek said with a sigh as he pulled his son into a hug. His head went up as the nurse entered the waiting room.

"Mr. Shepherd?"

"Yes?"

"We're having a bit of a problem with your mother in law… we need your help, please…"

"What's going on?" Derek said as he stood up, lifting Richie into his arms.

"She's awake, alert… and she's trying to leave…" The nurse replied.

"Of course she is…" Derek rolled his eyes as he followed the nurse down the hallway quickly.

---------------

The farther they made it down the hallway, the louder they could hear Ellis fighting them. "Do you know who I am? Let me go! I have no reason to be in this hospital!" She exclaimed.

Derek turned the corner and as soon as he appeared, Ellis' eyes were on him. "You!" She exclaimed.

"Me?" Derek asked, though he was beyond concerned, seeing Ellis up and about like this didn't fail to make him smile.

"What are you grinning at? Get me out of this hospital right now!"

"You're not going anywhere, Ellis…" Derek said as he set Richie to the floor and put his hand on her shoulder, watching her back up, leaning against the bed. He grabbed a penlight from one of the doctors in the room without even looking and started to shine it in her eyes.

"Don't you do that to me!" She exclaimed, reaching for the light, he pulled it out of her reach.

"Follow the light with your eyes…" He said as he did it again, moving it from her reach again as she tried to grab it.

"I am not amused, Shepherd! If you don't get that out of my face, I'm going to make you follow a light, and it won't be from that flashlight!" She exclaimed.

"And you're not leaving this hospital until I take a look at those MRI scans…" he said as he raised his eyebrows at her.

"You can't keep me here…" She growled.

"No… but you know what?" he said as he leaned into her and whispered. "If you leave this hospital… you could die… you want to die… that means suicide… making you suicidal… that give you a free trip to the psych floor if you try to leave…" Derek whispered under his breath.

"That's taking it out of context!" She exclaimed.

"Then you can just stay voluntarily…" Derek shrugged. "It's your choice… but there is no way that I'm going to let you leave this hospital without looking at those scans… even if that means I have to sit on your scrawny little body and have them bring the scans in here…" He argued, listening to the snickering from the other doctors in the room.

"You are embarrassing me…" Ellis growled.

"You're embarrassing yourself…screaming like a lunatic down here… You scared Richie half to death…."

"I'm not scared, Daddy…" Richie said with a grin. "Hi GG… did you have a good nap?" He asked as he smiled at her, and up at his father as he stepped forward and grasped her hand.

Ellis sat on the bed for a moment and glanced to Derek, and back to her grandson. "Stay… please." Derek whispered.

"Derek… if you want to know what's wrong with me… you should just ask."

"That hasn't worked, Ellis… I'm going to let the scans tell me for themselves…" He said with a sigh.

"What hospital are we in?" Ellis asked, swallowing hard, her eyes suddenly nervous until her fears were finally realized.

"Ellis?" The masculine voice from the hallway sent shivers down her spine as she closed her eyes tightly, squeezing her grandson's hand softly as she opened her eyes again, instantly locking them with the man that she had most feared seeing on this trip, Richard Webber.

She had heard her name and their eyes were locked, her hand was still grasping her grandson's hand as she took a deep breath. The memories began flooding back, and she immediately recognized the ambiance of the hospital. For a moment, she couldn't figure out how she didn't know where she was earlier. All of these thoughts, however, were secondary to the pounding in her chest and the lump in her throat.

"Richard…" She whispered.

"What?" Richie said as he looked up at his Grandmother. Her eyes weren't on him though, they were on the tall man standing in the doorway.

"Derek…" Ellis said, suddenly tearing her eyes from the man in the doorway. "Derek… can you…"

Derek's eyes were on the man in the hallway. The man was still staring in at Ellis. Watching her as if he had seen a ghost, and Derek could tell that she was becoming very uncomfortable. He stepped forward and blocked the man's view of Ellis and Richie. "Can I help you?" He asked, his voice deep and defensive as he took in the sight of the man. He was older, perhaps in his sixties, graying hair. He was wearing a lab coat and name tag, so obviously he was a doctor.

"I'm Doctor Richard Webber." He said, holding his hand out to Derek, his eyes were filled with concern, and he seemed stern, though his demeanor was warm. "Chief of Surgery here at Seattle Grace…" He said with a nod.

"Derek Shepherd." He said, shaking the man's hand politely, he could feel the tension in the room. He could sense that Doctor Webber wanted to approach the bed. "Is there something that I can do for you, Doctor Webber?" He asked sternly.

"Ellis Grey is an old friend of mine…" He said, glancing around the young doctor as he tried to get a glimpse of her.

"Derek…" Ellis' voice came from behind him. His head turned and he caught her eyes. "It's alright, Derek." She said softly as she held her hand out for him. "Come here…" She said as she waved him over. "It's alright…" She said. Her voice was calm and she could tell that he was being very protective. She smiled at the stern look on the younger man's face, his body language very defensive as he took a step towards her. "Derek… Richard and I are very old friends… we were interns here together at Seattle Grace…" She said with a soft smile, trying to remain calm, for her grandson's hand was still in hers, holding it a little tighter as the stranger took a step forward. "Richard… this is Doctor Derek Shepherd. He's one of the top Neurosurgeons on the east coast… the best that we have at Boston General." She said proudly.

"Neurosurgeon?" Richard asked, glancing to Derek and back to Ellis. "Are you alright?"

"He's also my son in law, Richard." Ellis replied quickly. "This is my grandson, Richie." She said as she ran her other hand through her grandson's hair. He glanced up at Ellis and back to the man as he stood awkwardly beside his father. He pushed himself farther into his grandmother.

"He's…"

"He's Meredith's oldest." Ellis said softly as she glanced to Derek. "Derek…if you're going to make me stay here, can you at least get me some water?" She asked as she watched him nod, though glancing suspiciously at the other man for a moment. "Its fine, Derek…" She said as she shook her head. Derek stepped over to the sink and filled a cup of water as Ellis carefully lifted her legs to the bed.

"Why are you here? What… are you…?"

"I'm here because my son in law is a terrorist…" She said with a gruff grunt as Derek stepped over to her quietly with the cup and the nurse helped pull the blanket over her legs before slipping out the door. "He thinks he's the boss of me…"

"She passed out." Derek replied, glancing to Ellis.

"Ellis…" Richard said softly.

"I already know what it is… he's just going to make me stay here so that he can yell at me and berate me for letting it get this bad."

"This bad?" Derek asked, his eyes widening slightly. "Ellis… I swear…"

"I have a goddamned aneurysm, Derek." Ellis said with a frustrated sigh.

"Aneurysm?" Derek asked.

"An inoperable aneurysm." She replied.

"How many doctors have you seen?" Richard asked.

"Three." Ellis replied.

Richard looked up at Derek, expecting him to say something and he just shook his head disapprovingly. "Ellis…" Derek shook his head as he glanced down at his son. "How long have you known about this?"

"A couple of weeks…" She replied. She watched as he looked down at her, the anger in his face was unmistakable as he started to pace. "There is nothing you can do, Derek… there's no use in wearing a hole in the floor."

"Like hell there's nothing I can do…" He growled. "You have no right to give up." He said as he reached his hand out. "Richie… come with Daddy…"

"Where are we going?" He asked softly as he held his grandmother's hand.

"We are going to go do some doctor things…" He said sternly as he glanced at Richard. "Doctor Webber… would it be alright if I took a look at her MRI scans?" He asked politely.

"Just show the technicians your credentials, it should be fine." Richard nodded.

"Thank you, Sir." He said. "Richie… let's go…"

"I don't wanna leave, GG…" He whimpered.

"GG will be here when we get back… come help with doctor things….please…" He said softly. "GG wants to talk with her friend." He glared at Ellis.

Ellis gave Derek a sorrowful look, glancing to her grandson, she looked back at his father and shook her head a little. "Richie… go with daddy now… he's going to show you some neat doctor things… just like he has at GG's hospital…"

Richie glanced to his grandmother and back to his father and sighed. "Okay…" Richie said softly. "Bye, GG… be a good girl… tell all these doctors that you're the boss…" He said with a smile as he leaned up.

"I will, little prince…" She said softly as she kissed his cheek and released his hand, watching as he ran to his father's side and grasped his hand as the two of them left the room.

-----

Derek walked down the hallway quickly on his way to the lab where the scans were being looked at. He immediately noticed that there were a crowd of people standing around a computer. He held Richie's hand tightly and poked his head in. "Excuse me?" He said softly, watching as one of the doctors turned around.

"Can I help you?" He said, sitting up straight as he gave Derek a scrutinizing look.

"I'm Doctor Shepherd… from Boston General…" he said, holding his credentials out to the doctor. "I am Doctor Grey's doctor… I was wondering if…"

"Doctor Shepherd?" One of the people at the computer looked up. "Doctor Shepherd, what are you doing out here?"

Derek looked into the darker room and noticed one of his former interns looking out at him. "Doctor Meeks…" Derek said with a smile.

"Doctor Shepherd… come on in…" She said with a smile. "Doctor Shepherd is one of the best Neurosurgeons in the country!" She said excitedly as the other doctors looked up at Derek.

"Now, don't make my ego swell, Doctor Meeks… we don't need my God complex to get any worse…" He chuckled as the other doctors laughed.

"Did you bring Doctor Grey here for treatment?" She asked with a smile as the other doctors continued to look at the screen, still blocking it from Derek's view as they looked on in astonishment.

"Actually… We brought her to Seattle to get some of her belongings…" He said, his hand still holding Richie's as the little boy stood just outside the door. "She fainted at her house and we brought her here…" Derek explained.

"Who do you have there?" One of the doctors asked as they noticed the small hand in Derek's.

"It's my son… He's not aware of his grandmother's… condition… so why don't we keep this a little on the down low… can I take a look?"

"Of course you can…" One of the other doctors said as they moved out of the way as Derek turned and lifted Richie. As he looked up at the screen, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped. "Holy sh…"

"Daddy…" Richie warned as Derek glanced to him.

"Sorry…" Derek whispered as he stepped forward and slid into the chair. He slipped his son on his lap and stared at the image. "That thing is…"

"Huge…" Doctor Meeks said softly.

"Putting it lightly…" Derek whispered as he moved his finger over the screen. "How is she even… how are they… what…"

"It's inoperable." One of the interns shrugged. "There's nothing we can do…"

"I can't believe this… world famous surgeon… and she's going to…"

"That's enough…" Derek said sternly. "She's going to live another three hundred years…" Derek said, eliciting giggles from the other doctors.

"What's that, Daddy?" Richie asked, poking at the screen.

"That's… a brain…"

"A brain? Like in my head?" He asked, poking at his hair as the other doctors chuckled a little at his innocence.

"Yep, like in your head…"

"What are we looking for?"

"Dinosaurs…" Derek said, glancing to one of the doctors looking over his shoulder as he laughed.

"Dinosaurs? Why would a brain have dinosaurs in it?"

"Well… it wouldn't… which would be why we would have to operate… you know, to get the dinosaur out…" Derek explained.

"Oh…" He said, hushing for a moment as he stared at the screen, scrutinizing it very carefully. "Daddy…" He whispered.

"Yes, Richie?"

"This brain has a dinosaur in it, doesn't it?" He whispered.

"Unfortunately… yes it does…" Derek replied with a sigh. "And our job…" he said as he glanced around at the other doctors. "Is to figure out how we can get it out."

"It's inoperable, Doctor Shepherd." Doctor Meeks replied.

"You say it…" Derek said as he sighed, still staring at the screen, standing up. "But yet… I don't believe it…" he said with a smirk. "There has to be a way." He said, shifting his son in his arms as he stared at the screen. He glanced at the room full of doctors and sighed. "There has to be a way, because I refuse to accept that there isn't." Derek replied as he took a step back. "If you'll excuse me… I need to call my wife…" He sighed as he shook his head and slowly retreated from the room, his eyes never leaving the screen with the scan on it.

-----------

Derek carried Richie down the hallway and reached his hand into his pocket for his cell phone. He walked down towards Ellis' room and glanced at his phone. He sighed as he flipped it open, peeking into the room, he watched Ellis and Richard talk and he looked up to the ceiling for a moment as he closed the phone.

"What are you doing, daddy?" Richie whispered.

"Working up the nerve to call your mommy…" He said softly.

"Are you scared of her?" He asked sincerely, noticing the fear in his father's face, though unsure of why he was so worried. "Are you upset because of Grey getting picked on?" He asked.

"Yes…" Derek nodded. "I'm very upset about that…"

"But you're not scared of Mommy, right?"

"Well… not any more scared than I usually am…" He winked at his son who giggled.

"GG's friend's name is Richard… That's my name." He said, glancing into the room.

"It is." Derek nodded.

"Is he a nice guy?"

"I'm not sure…" Derek said, glancing in at Ellis, he watched her smile, her eyes sparkling slightly. "He made your GG smile… he must not be too bad of a guy…" Derek shrugged.

"Are we going to call Mama?" Richie whispered.

Derek looked at his son for a moment and back at the phone in his hand. "I… think maybe we should wait until after we talk to GG." Derek replied sighing as he shook his head, stepping back to sit on the chair in the hallway across from Ellis' room.

"Yep." Richie said, nodding his head as he slipped from his father's lap.

"What?" Derek asked.

"You're REALLY scared of her." He nodded as he grinned. "I'm going to go see GG!" He exclaimed as he ran quickly into his grandmother's room.

--------------

Richie skipped into his grandmother's room and slid up to the bed beside Richard. "Hi." He said, his smile was bright and happy as he glanced to his grandmother.

"Hi…" Richard said with a smile, glancing to the hallway, he saw Derek sitting in a chair with his head down.

"Why is your daddy still out in the hallway?" Ellis asked her grandson softly, watching Derek as he continued to have a staring contest with the floor.

"He wants to call Mama." Richie replied.

"Derek…" Ellis called, waiting for him to look up at her. "Richie, go get your daddy, please…"

Richie skipped off to Derek and grasped his hand, his head rising up as he stood up slowly. He walked into the room, his son's hand in his and he looked at Ellis thoughtfully.

"Richard…" Ellis said softly as she squeezed Doctor Webber's hand. "It was very nice talking to you." She said with a soft smile.

"It was nice to see you again, Ellis… It was really nice." He said as he gave her a sad smile. "I'll let you have some time with your family." He said as he stood up. He squeezed her hand one time and leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. He turned and walked towards Derek and held his hand out. "Doctor Shepherd."

"Doctor Webber." Derek nodded politely as he shook his hand, though his demeanor still appeared to be cold. "I'd like for you to please look at Doctor Grey's scans."

"Derek, this is nonsense… don't bother Richard with your requests… I am fine."

"You are not fine." Derek said, looking at Ellis angrily for a moment as he glanced to Richard again. "I would really appreciate it if you could take a look, please." He said softly as he dared Ellis with his eyes to say anything further.

"I'll take a look, Doctor Shepherd." Richard nodded as he glanced to Ellis one more time before quietly slipping out of the room.

Derek stepped over to the door and closed it quickly, turning his head he watched his son holding his grandmother's hand. "Richie, please sit in one of the chairs over there…" He nodded towards the chair.

"No, Daddy… I want to sit over…"

"Richard…" Derek said sternly, watching his son's eyes widen for a moment before he made his way quickly to the chair across the room.

"Derek, don't yell at him…" Ellis said, watching the little boy sit with his head down, looking at the floor.

"I didn't yell at him… he'd know if I were yelling at him… and if I'm going to yell at anyone Ellis Grey… it's going to be you." He growled.

"Derek… please sit down…" She said as she waved her hand towards the chair.

"I am not sitting down…" He growled.

"Of course you're not going to sit down." Ellis shook her head. "You're going to expel your masculine aura throughout the room and berate me for letting myself go through with this. You're going to raise your fist in anger and shake it in my face to show how frustrated you are with me for what I did to 'you'. Well, Derek… this is my life… or my death, as it seems to be… and if I choose to go through with it… I will go through with it my way… just as I do everything else in my life." She said angrily.

"You can't do this, Ellis… it's wrong…"

"I can do it, Derek… I can do whatever I please…I've lived a long life, Derek… I don't need some surgery to make it even longer. I just want to wrap up a few things out here in Seattle that I should have done years ago… so that when it happens… I have no regrets… that I've apologized to the people in my life that I've hurt… that I've abandoned… I've made things right with Meredith… but I needed to talk to Richard… and I need to see Thatcher… I need to make things right with them before this happens…" She explained.

"You made things right with Meredith… you made things right with her… only to abandon her in Boston while you come out here to… do … this…!" He exclaimed, glancing to his son as he continued to stare at the floor. "You made things right with her, only to shove another goddamned knife in her back! She loves you! Your grandchildren love you! Why can't you stop being so selfish and at least look at the options! You made things right with Meredith… and now you're going to screw it all up! Don't you care what she thinks about this?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

"I care… and I love her… but she cannot know about this, Derek... She's going to think it was natural… that I didn't know about it." Ellis replied, watching Derek shake his head. "You're under a confidentiality arrangement, Doctor Shepherd. You cannot tell her of my condition!"

"I'm not a doctor here in this hospital, Ellis… and as far as I'm concerned, you told me that news as your son in law… not as your doctor… I have every right to tell my wife that her mother is a selfish, stubborn, stupid, stupid, STUPID, STUPID woman!" Derek exclaimed.

"Daddy!" Richie exclaimed, jumping from his chair. "Don't yell at GG!"

"GG is stupid!" Derek exclaimed to his young son who looked up at his father and back to his grandmother.

"GG is not stupid…stupid is a bad word!" Richie said, tears springing to his eyes.

"Richie…" Derek said, turning to the little boy.

"Derek… don't you dare…" Ellis warned.

Derek glared at Ellis as he took a step towards his son. "Richie… come over here for a minute…" He said, holding his hand out to his son.

"Derek, I am serious… don't you dare!" Ellis exclaimed.

"Oh… I'll dare…" Derek said as Richie took his hand. He stepped up to his grandmother's bed, his father's hand in his. "Richie… your GG wants to move to Florida…" Derek said with a sarcastic smirk.

"What?" Richie asked, looking up at Derek.

"Florida…" Derek said as he shook his head. "It's a place where older people go to be all alone… by themselves… no kids are allowed… and she wants to go there forever…" Derek replied.

"Derek…" Ellis growled.

"Florida?"

"Yep… Your GG wants to move away… and never see you or Grey… or mommy and daddy ever again… she can't send you letters or gifts… she can't talk to you on the phone… there are no phones in Florida…" Derek said, giving Ellis a scowl.

"No…" Richie whimpered.

"Well…that's where GG wants to go…" Derek shrugged.

"Derek… I'm going to…" Ellis growled.

"What, Ellis… what are you going to do?" Derek growled as he had Richie go sit down again. "And why… why would you do it? How can you be angry at me for telling him the truth… I'm telling my son the truth… that you don't want to see him anymore… that you don't want his hugs and kisses… that you don't love him… enough…"

"Derek, that's not true!"

"Then why the HELL would you walk around with a goddamned time bomb in your fucking head for this long? Why the HELL are you so hell-bent on dying…" he growled in a whisper. "What gives you the right… to make a decision that could devastate your entire family, Ellis…because they'll know…They're going to know that you knew, Ellis… they'll know…"

"And I went to three doctors, Derek…I went to three doctors that said that it was inoperable…"

"Don't be stupid…" Derek shook his head. "You know that there's a way around it… you're just too afraid to try it."

"A double barrel bypass…" Ellis whispered. "Absolutely not." She shook her head.

"It's your only hope, Ellis." Derek replied as he stared into her cold blue eyes.

"I DON'T WANT GG TO GO TO FLORIDA!" Richie suddenly exclaimed with tears rolling down his cheeks, rushing to his father, Derek lifted him into his arms and squeezed the sobbing boy.

"It's your choice, Ellis…" Derek whispered angrily at her as he held his son. "The ball is in your court now." He said as he stepped quickly and quietly from the room to calm his son down.

----------------------

Derek paced back and forth in the hallway as he held his wailing son in his arms. He rubbed his back as the little boy continued to cry. "It's alright, buddy… It's okay…"

"I don't want GG to go! I don't want her to go!" He sobbed, his arms squeezing Derek tightly as he held his son.

"It's going to be okay… GG is here now… She's here right now… isn't she?" Derek asked, holding his son so that he can see his face. "She's here now…" He whispered.

"Yes… but she wants to leave me…" He whimpered. "I'm a good boy… I have been a very good boy…" He whimpered.

"You have been a very good boy… you have… GG isn't going anywhere just yet… we need to talk to her more… we need to tell her that we don't want her to go… let her know we're serious…" He whispered. "We need to make sure she knows that we love her very much…" Derek said as he rocked the little boy, feeling his sobs begin to slow.

"I tell her all the time, Daddy…" He sniffled.

"Well, you need to tell her more… and you need to tell her that you would miss her…" Derek whispered as he rocked the little boy, feeling him sniffle into his shoulder.

"I do love GG… I do, Daddy… I don't want her to go anywhere…" He sniffled.

"Neither do I, buddy… neither do I…" He whispered.

"Daddy…" Richie whispered as he lifted his head, resting his forehead on his father's. Their matching blue eyes staring directly into one another's.

"Hmm…?" He whispered.

"Do you love GG?" He whispered, watching his father's eyes, he tilted his head slightly.

"More than I'd ever admit to her…" He winked at his son and made him laugh as he gave him a little squeeze.

"Can we call mommy, please?" He asked softly as he held tightly to Derek's shirt, watching Derek's eyes cloud with fear. "It's okay, daddy… mommy will make you feel better…" He said softly as he kissed his father's cheek.

"You really think so?" Derek asked as he watched his son nod.

"Mommy's got magic hugs." He said with a tiny smile.

"Those magic hugs are quite a ways away…" Derek replied.

"Well… maybe she can send them on a postcard." Richie shrugged.

"Let's call your mama before we get too technical…" Derek said softly as he reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Lets not tell her that you were crying though… She might get suspicious…and then worry about us too much..."

"Yeah…" Richie nodded as he sniffled, letting his father lift him down the hallway so that he could find a quiet room where he could talk on the phone.

Derek carried Richie into an empty exam room and walked over to the chair that was in the corner. He sit down slowly, glancing at Richie as he rubbed his nose on his arm and watched his father cautiously. "Don't worry, Daddy…" He whispered as Derek smiled slightly as he felt his son's confidence in his words.

Derek settled Richie on his lap and closed his eyes as he flipped open the cell phone. He noticed that the time was now seven in the evening and counted up to figure that it was ten in the evening in Boston. He had tried to explain time zones to Richie, but it was one of those conversations where Derek spent fifteen minutes talking and Richie interrupted with a question about dogs. It was a conversation lost in oblivion and Derek chuckled to himself as he pushed the speed dial button for home.

He had hoped that he could pull it off, talking to Meredith without giving too much information. He had hoped that perhaps he could use the other situation that they were facing, Greyson, as reasoning for his less than cheery demeanor. The only thing that he had to avoid was Meredith requesting to talk to her mother, and that never happened. The phone rang four times and was most likely about to let the machine pick up when Derek took a deep breath, hearing her breath and finally her voice on the line.

"I have been waiting all day to hear your voice." She said softly into the phone. She sounded tired and worn out. She sounded exhausted and beaten down.

"Meri." He said softly, his voice tickling her ear like a feather, just the sound of his voice was enough to bring a smile to her face.

"What's wrong?" She said instantly, hearing just through that one word, some sort of inner turmoil that was turning her husband's mood foul.

"How do you always know?"

"I can smell trouble from miles and miles away…" Meredith replied.

"Are you sure that's not just one of the boy's rooms?"

"Oh… that's cute, Shepherd…" Meredith laughed a little, her voice soft and tender, he could only guess why.

"Is he there with you?" Derek asked softly.

"Sleeping…on my lap…"

"Watching television?"

"Yes."

"Waiting for me?"

"Yes."

"You're such a sucker." Derek laughed.

"Oh… you have no idea…" Meredith giggled softly into the phone. "And him?"

"He's here… watching me talk to you." Derek replied, watching Richie smile at the thought of his mother asking about him.

"Hi, mommy…" Richie said sweetly as he smiled at Derek.

"Hi, baby…" Meredith said softly as Derek held the phone out so that Richie could hear. He brought the phone close to his ear again. "So are you going to tell me what's wrong?" She whispered. "Is he behaving?"

"He's behaving."

"Is she behaving?"

"As best as she will…" Derek nodded as he shook his head. "You make me smile."

"You make me happy." Meredith replied. "I'll ask one more time, Shepherd…"

"I'm just thinking about Grey." Derek replied, lying through his teeth, he instantly felt guilty.

"He has some bad bruises, Derek…"

"Are you going to take him back tomorrow?"

"No." Meredith replied.

"Meri…"

"I said no… Derek, your mother is here… she will watch him."

"Is Greyson afraid of going back?" Derek asked, sitting up carefully, he held Richie on his lap.

"No."

"Then he needs to go back." Derek shook his head.

"Derek, he has bruises!"

"And I'm sure that the women that work there did not put them on him… there is an issue… and they need to deal with it… pulling him out of daycare is not going to solve it." Derek shook his head. "We need him to be at the hospital when we're there, Meri." Derek sighed.

"Derek…"

"No… Meri… Talk to Candy… tell her to keep an eye on a kid named…"

"Jason…" Richie replied, looking up at his father.

"Jason." Derek replied. "Apparently, that kid has been picking on Greyson… if Greyson doesn't mind going back… then he needs to, Meri."

"I want to protect him from it, Derek…"

"I know." Derek said with a sigh… "Did he tell you who did it?"

"No." Meredith replied.

"Ask him about Jason… check his reaction…" Derek said softly. "If he confirms… I say storm the daycare, take no prisoners…" He chuckled.

"Are you sure about this?" She whispered.

"I am positive… Just leave him there for a couple of hours tomorrow… one or two… then let mom pick him up at lunch time or something…"

"I'm trusting you, Derek." Meredith sighed.

"Thank you." He said with a sigh.

"Now what else is wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing." Derek said right away.

"That was a quick response…" She said, her eyebrows raised as she shook her head.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Promise me." Meredith whispered.

"Meri…"

"Derek…"

"I promise." Derek whispered.

"I love you." Meredith replied.

"I love you…" Derek said, smiling tenderly. "I'll call you later, or tomorrow." He said softly.

"Alright…" Meredith said with a yawn as she ran her fingers through her son's hair. "I miss you."

"I miss you, baby…" Derek whispered.

"Can I talk to Richie?" She asked.

"Of course…" Derek said with a smile as he handed the phone off to his son.

Derek watched as Richie took the phone from him, not even thinking about the things that could possibly come from the little boy's mouth. Richie looked to his father as he lifted the phone to his ear. "Hi, Mama." He said with a smile into the phone.

"Hi, baby…" Meredith said softly, reveling in the sweet sound of her son's voice as she held her other son in her arms. "Are you being a good boy?"

"Yes." He said with a smile. "I only got yelled at once so far…" He said with a little sniffle as he smiled at his mother's voice.

"Only once?" Meredith laughed a little.

"Yeah, I wouldn't sit down like daddy said, but I did and he wasn't mad anymore…"

"Well, you need to listen to your daddy…"

"I will… he's a good guy… Oh! I met a man with the same name as me today!"

"Oh yeah, you met another Richie, huh?" Meredith laughed.

"Yes! Only GG calls him Richard… He's a nice guy… he works at the hospital."

"You went to the hospital today?" Meredith asked, unsure if she should be suspicious, or not surprised that her mother and husband would find their way to the hospital. Though she pushed her worried thoughts aside as she figured they were just visiting friends of her mother.

"Yes…" Richard said with a smile, looking up at his father, who appeared to look quite nervous. "GG took a nap, and then daddy brought us to the hospital… GG visited with her friend while me and daddy went and did doctor stuff…"

"Doctor stuff, huh?"

"Yeah… some guy has a dinosaur in his brain…" Richie giggled. "I didn't see it, but daddy said it was there…"

"A dinosaur, huh?" Meredith laughed, imagining her husband trying to explain doctor things to a little boy.

"Yes…" He giggled. "Daddy says we're going to get it out…"

"Oh, you are, are you?"

"Yep! I'm going to help."

"I'm not sure you're qualified, sweetheart…" Meredith shook her head as she imagined her son's face as he talked.

"Oh, I can qualified… I am a very good hugger…"

"You're the very best hugger…" Meredith said softly.

"No, no… you're the best hugger, Mommy… Daddy agrees… right Daddy?"

"Yep…" Derek nodded.

"See, Daddy agrees, Mommy…"

"Daddy is a smart man, baby…" Meredith said softly. "Why don't you let me talk to your daddy…Mommy should probably get to bed soon…"

"Oh…" He said as he looked up at Derek. "Okay, Mommy… Sweet dreams…" He smiled.

"Sweet dreams, little boy…"

"Mommy?"

"Hmm?" She whispered.

"Tell Greyson to give Jason a punch across the nose from me…No one can pick on my little brother but me…"

Meredith giggled as she shook her head, watching Greyson sleep peacefully in her arms. "I'll be sure to tell him, sweetheart. You have sweet dreams."

"You too, Mommy… We'll see you soon…"

"See you soon, prince." Meredith whispered as she waited for the phone to be passed to Derek.

She listened as Derek lifted the phone to his ear. "Did you get all of the information that you wanted out of him?" Derek chuckled a little as he heard her laugh softly.

"I'm disappointed in you, Derek." She said, her voice dropping a pit into the center of his stomach.

"What… what did…?"

"You're all the way across the country… and you can't even go a week without going to a hospital and trying to play superhero…" She laughed softly.

"I'm Super Shepherd… That's what the 'S' on my shirt stands for…" He said as he began to relax.

"Well, Super Shepherd…I miss you…"

"I wish I could fly over there and give you a kiss…"

"I wish you could too…" She said with a sad sigh. "Derek…?"

"Hmm…"

"How is she?"

"Your mother?"

"Yes."

"She's stubborn… and she's cold… mean and calculating…"

"So she's fine…" Meredith said with a sad smile.

"Everything is fine, Meri."

"You're taking care of everything?"

"I'm working on it." He said with a sad smile as he imagined her eyes, her lips, her ears, nose, her tiny hands in his. "I miss you, Meri."

"I miss you… You should probably go… he should be in bed…" Meredith said with a smile.

"I'll talk to you soon…"

"I'll talk to you." She whispered, listening to his breathing as he waited for the click of the phone. As soon as the phone clicked, he felt a tsunami of guilt wash over him. He could feel a tear rolling down his cheek as Richie watched his father carefully.

"Are you okay, Daddy?"

"I'm okay, buddy." Derek whispered as he grasped the phone tightly in his hand for a moment as he tried to catch his breath and check his emotions. He flipped the phone open quickly and dialed another number, waiting for someone to answer, he held Richie close to him.

"Hey."

"Mark?"

"Derek…"

"I need you to do something for me." He said, swallowing hard as his eyes drifted to the door as he stood up with Richie, setting him to the ground, leading the little boy back to his grandmother's room.

-------------------

"Thanks, Mark…" Derek said softly as he hung the phone up. He looked down at his son as he sat cradled in his arms, his eyes drooping slightly as he yawned. "Your Uncle Mark says he loves you…" Derek said softly.

"Is Uncle Mark coming to Seattle?" He whispered, having heard their conversation.

"He's going to see what he can do." Derek said as he kissed his son's cheek. "Let's go check on your GG." He said softly as he lifted his son and stood up. He walked down the hallway towards the room that Ellis was in and knocked before entering. He stepped in and found her sitting in the bed, staring straight ahead. "Ellis…?" He said, her head snapping to face him.

"I want to go home now." She said as she watched Derek. He could see that she had tears in her eyes.

"You're not going home now…"

"Yes I am… you know what is wrong with me… take me back to the house…"

"Ellis, you're not leaving the hospital." Derek said sternly.

"I am leaving the hospital…" She growled. "You cannot hold me hostage here, Derek. You saw the scan, you saw that I have only a limited amount of time… don't make me… don't make my last few days be in the hospital…"

"I thought you loved the hospital." Derek said as he shifted his son in his arms. "I would think that this is where you would want to spend your…"

"Derek!" Ellis exclaimed.

"Ellis…" Derek shook his head. "I have no idea what you are thinking… I have absolutely no idea what you want out of all of this…but this isn't going to get better… please don't put your family through this…" He said softly.

"You told her, didn't you." Ellis said as she watched his eyes.

"Would it really matter if I did, Ellis? Would it really matter if I told her? She knows you are stubborn… and she knows you came out here for something other than the house… She isn't a stupid woman, Ellis… She knows…"

"You told her…"

"I didn't have to tell her, Ellis." Derek replied. "I can't tell her until you tell me that it's alright. I need you to trust me…" He said softly.

"It's not alright, Derek. It will never be alright… I don't want her to know." Ellis said as she watched him hold his son in his arms as the little boy appeared to be drifting off. "Let me hold him… please?" She said softly, holding her arms out to him.

"Not until you agree to the surgery…" Derek said.

"Just give him to me…" Ellis said with an irritated scowl. She watched a flash of amusement on his face as he stepped forward and lay the sleepy boy beside her. She held him close to her and kissed his head as he cuddled into her, whispering that he loved her.

"He's not going to let you go, Ellis." Derek whispered as he leaned over the bed. "He's not going to let anything happen to you. He loves you far too much."

"Derek…" Ellis shook her head. "Just… drop it…" She said with a sigh. "Just drop it, please…"

"I'm not going to just drop it, Ellis… this is very serious…"

"You're being selfish." Ellis said as she glared at him. "You're telling me that I can't… go… just because you don't want your children to be sad… just because you think that Meredith will be sad, it's selfish…" She said angrily.

"It's selfish of you to take something that we love away from us, Ellis. It's selfish of you to think that your life isn't worthy enough to be saved. I'm not just thinking for myself… I'm thinking for my wife…I'm thinking for my children. I just know the way things will be if something happened to you. I think of that, and I know that I couldn't live with myself knowing that there was something that could have possibly been done to save you… that our grief could have been avoided."

"Derek… I'm going to have to go eventually…" She said as she glared at him.

"Yes… But it's not going to be when I'm standing two feet from your bed." He said as he shook his head.

"Derek… I want to go…to the house. I can't do anything if I'm here in this hospital bed." She said softly.

"Listen…" He said softly as he crouched beside her bed. "Stay for the night… just… for observation…and we can go in the morning." He said as he tilted his head. "I want to make sure your stable before we leave… I don't need you passing out on me like some fainting goat every time you get angry at me." He said, his voice calmer now as she watched his eyes.

"You'll let me go?" She asked.

"I will… There's no reason to keep you here…but I'm not going to stop begging you to get this fixed, Ellis… I'm not going to ever give up on trying to make you realize how important you are."

"I'm not worthy of it, Derek." Ellis replied, glancing down at Richie as he lay sound asleep against her. "I'm not worthy of any of this… the pain that I put so many people through. I'm not worthy of all of this…"

Derek smiled slightly as he tilted his head. "In the words of a wise man that I know… You're the boss, GG… you get whatever you want..." He said with a sad smile. "You are ultimately the boss of your own life, Ellis… and sure… you may have hurt a million people in your life… but if you do this… if you knowingly let yourself die… You're going to ruin all of the strides that you made to make things right with the people that you do love… besides… you've never hurt him… and you've never hurt that other little boy with your daughter's eyes who is waiting patiently at home to see you again… They think you're the world, Ellis. If they find out what you did… I don't know what they're going to think…"

Ellis watched the deep sincerity in his eyes. She could see the determination and love that he held deep in his heart, deep in his soul. "See…See what I do to myself?" Ellis said with a sigh as she turned her head away from him. "I had to go and hire the most pigheaded, stubborn, pain in the ass surgeon that I could find… and what does my daughter go and do? She marries him…She marries him… and procreates with him… and she makes me like him… She makes me trust him…" She said as she turned her eyes to face Derek again, the reason for her refusal to look at him was evident in the tears in her eyes as they finally lifted to meet his. "Let me think on this, Derek..."

"I will…" He whispered softly, knowing that her decision would have to come quickly if they were going to be able to save her, but refusing to ruin the moment that she was having as she cuddled tightly against her grandson and kissed his head. Her thoughts were plaguing her mind as she tried her best to push away the feelings of guilt and regret that threatened to take over, watching as her son in law sat in the uncomfortable chair beside her bed and tried to relax just a little as the only thing that crossed his mind were the scans that he had seen earlier that day, and the sound of the clock ticking on the wall.


	6. Day Two

Chapter 5- Day Two

Meredith carried Greyson towards the daycare, his eyes were bright and he appeared to be happy considering his mother was miserable. She had talked with him that morning about how children shouldn't be picked on… and how Greyson had to be sure to tell the teacher if someone hurts him or picks on him. The little boy played with his car and listened as his mother talked, and every now and again would throw in a little commentary about how Richie always told him to call to him and he'd take care of the bully that was bugging him. He expressed the sadness that he had because his brother wasn't around.

"Well, you make sure you tell that bully that he should mind his own business… be loud, Greyson… Mommy knows you have a good set of lungs… and no more hiding under the table… You have to be a big boy… If you hide under the table, they'll have to call mommy, and she's going to be quite upset if she has to come down and drag you out from under the table again." Meredith said softly.

"But I don't have Snuggle bear…" He whispered and sighed.

"No… you don't have Snuggle bear… but you have mommy… and Uncle Mark and Aunt Cristina are around… and don't forget… your Granny is going to come pick you up at lunch time… how does that sound?" She asked excitedly.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed with a laugh as he giggled as his mother tickled his belly. "Its gonna be the best day ever!" he exclaimed happily as Meredith kissed his cheek as she walked up to the daycare and opened the door.

"Doctor Shepherd…" Candy said as she smiled at Greyson. "Grey… are you feeling better today, buddy?"

"Candy…" Meredith said sternly as she held her son in her arms securely. "I need to show you and the other aids something, if you don't mind…"

"What is it, Doctor Shepherd?" She asked curiously.

"Please come with me…" Meredith said as she carried Greyson into the playroom.

"Ladies…" Candy said, getting the attention of the other two aids that were in the room. The three of them gathered around Meredith and Greyson.

"I'd like to show you something… that I want fixed immediately… something that I never… ever… ever want to see on my child again…" She said with a stern growl. She slowly lifted her son's shirt, hearing the gasps of the aids. The three women were absolutely shocked at the bruises on the little boy. "Now… I'm not going to fill anything out… report anything… but when my son comes home… with numerous unexplained bruises across his body… I am less than pleased…" Meredith eyed each one of them to see their reaction. They all had their mouth covered in shock as they watched Greyson start to wiggle.

"Mommy, I want to go play now…" He mumbled, through with being the center of attention.

Meredith lifted him down and set him to the floor and watched him run off to play. "Doctor Shepherd… I don't know how this happened…" One of the aids said as she watched the little boy play happily.

"Greyson mentioned a child named Jason…He said that the little boy has been pinching him and poking at him. I would like to think that you women are watching the children more closely than I suspect you are…"

"Doctor Shepherd… we are so sorry…" Candy shook her head.

"Its not me that you should be apologizing to, it's him…" She said with an angry growl. "I'm going to be swamped today… and my mother in law will be picking him up for lunch… I trust that you'll call me if there is any unexplained behavior."

"Yes… yes, we'll be sure to page you." One of the aids watched Greyson as he giggled with one of the other children.

"And please… if he crawls under the table again… I need to be notified… we're trying to break him of that habit… and it may take one or two tries to do that…" She said as she watched the little boy. "Keep Jason away from him, please… He needs to learn to stick up for himself… He's far too used to his big brother doing it for him."

"It's not a problem at all, Doctor Shepherd…" Candy replied. "I am really sorry about this… I… I just… I'm just…"

"Please… please just take good care of him… I'm putting my trust in you…" Meredith said softly as she looked up at the clock. "Crap… I'm late…" She sighed. She rushed to her son and kissed his cheek. "You be a good boy…"

"I will, Mommy…"

"And don't put up with anyone's crap…" Meredith said as she watched her son grin. "I know, I know… mommy said crap… just be good…"

"Love you bunches, Mama…"

"I love you bunches more, little prince." Meredith said softly as she kissed his cheek again and rushed out the door, taking one more quick look at her smiling son as she left the daycare room.

--------------------

His neck was pulled to one side, his legs hanging awkwardly over the arm of the chair, his mouth wide open as he snored loudly. The buzzing in his pocket sent him jumping as he swung his feet off the arm of the chair and flung forward, catching himself before he went tumbling off the chair. He grabbed his phone and swung it to his ear.

"Huh?" He muttered into the line before he could make sense of anything, a yawn hitting his mouth before he could say anything else. The pain in his neck, legs and body were evident as he found his muscles stiff, his throat dry and his eyes blurry.

"Huh? You answer your phone by saying 'huh'? What kind of greeting is that?"

"Meri…" He said with a smile as he found himself balancing on the chair awkwardly. "I miss you…"

She paused for a moment and giggled slightly. "I am sure you do…" She said with a little giggle. "I woke you up." She stated.

"You did." Derek whispered with a yawn. "It's six here…" He whispered.

"And nine here… you're usually up at six when you're at home… I thought you'd be ready and raring to go…" She said with a giggle.

"Taking advantage…" He yawned. "What do you need, sweetness?" He asked, his voice still deep with sleep as he listened to her breath on the other line.

"I just wanted you to know that I dropped the hooligan off at daycare…"

"Good…"

"And if something happens… its your fault…"

"I take full responsibility…" Derek chuckled.

"Your mother is going to pick him up at lunch time…" Meredith said softly into the phone as she listened to what she thought was the sound of him falling onto the floor.

"Ow…" He groaned.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she listened to him carefully.

"I fell off the…"

"Bed?"

"Chair…" He muttered as he lay on the floor on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Chair? What are you doing in a chair? Derek…?" She asked, her voice was suspicious as she listened for an explanation.

"I fell asleep on the… living room chair last night instead of my bed…" He mumbled. "I missed you…" He said with a small voice.

"Derek… you're acting really strange…" Meredith said with a sigh. "Like… more strange than normal for you…" She said as she sat up a little, leaning over the counter as she listened carefully to her husband.

Derek groaned as he sat up. "Strange? I'm not acting strange…" He said as he shook his head, carefully standing up. He turned around to see Ellis and Richie and his breath caught in his throat. The bed was empty. "Shit." Derek said into the phone without thinking.

"Derek…? Derek… what's going on?" Meredith asked with a nervous tone to her voice.

"I'll call you back… it's nothing…" He said quickly as he flipped the phone closed and limped toward the door, his foot asleep as he lurched down the hallway.

He asked a couple of nurses and doctors as he headed down the hallway if they had seen Richie or Ellis, and as he neared the elevator, Richard Webber walked around the corner. "Doctor Shepherd…" He said as he looked at the pained surgeon with a curious glance as he pressed the button for the elevator.

"Ellis is missing…" he mumbled as he stood trying to wake his foot up.

"She's in the cafeteria, Doctor Shepherd… she invited me for breakfast… You can join us if you'd like. Are you alright?" He asked as Derek jumped on one foot for a second.

"My foot is asleep…" He mumbled. "And I hung up on my wife…"

"That's not good…" Richard chuckled.

"No, no it isn't…it hurts…"

"I meant hanging up on your wife…" Richard chuckled.

"I did too." Derek said as his foot finally regained feeling as the elevator doors opened and the two of them stepped inside.

--------------------

Richard and Derek arrived on the floor with the cafeteria and started to walk down the hallway. Derek stopped after a second. "I'll… be right there… I have to…"

"Call the wife back?" Richard nodded with a smirk.

"Yeah…" Derek nodded as he peeked into the cafeteria, seeing Ellis sitting at a table with Richie, he smiled a soft smile and flipped his phone in his hand. "I'll be right back…" He said as he turned and flipped the phone open as Richard walked into the cafeteria.

He waited for the phone to ring and after a moment, she picked up. "Hello?" Her voice was soft and sweet as she answered.

"Hi sweetheart…" Derek said with a smile when he heard her voice, immediately hearing the phone click as she hung up. He looked at the phone with a confused look for a moment as he dialed her number again.

"Hello?" She said again, a slight bit of satisfaction in her voice as she giggled.

"You think you're funny, don't you?"

"I was just wanted you to know how it felt…" She giggled at him.

"Oh… you're just hysterical…" He laughed as he leaned against a wall and listened to her voice. "I miss you."

"I miss you." She replied as she sighed into the line. "So what happened…?"

"What happened?" Derek asked, his voice confused as he shook his head.

"Why did you hang up on me?"

"Oh…" Derek paused for a moment as he tried to think of something quickly. "I…thought that I heard Ellis and Richie leaving… and I needed them to get something at the store…" He stammered as he swallowed hard.

"What?" She asked curiously.

"What… what?"

"What did they have to get at the store? Derek… there is something you're not telling me… and you're making me very frustrated and very nervous…" she sighed.

"Meri… stop worrying so much…" Derek said softly.

"Don't tell me not to worry so much, Derek." She said sternly. "You're across the damn country with my son… you're hanging up on me, and I can tell you're lying through your goddamned teeth… so either tell me what's going on… or I don't think I want to talk to you…" She said sternly.

"Meri… stop getting so upset… it's no big deal…"

"So you are lying to me?" She asked angrily.

"Meri…" he sighed.

Suddenly, Derek heard the angry voice of a man in the background. "Hang on a second…" Meredith said softly into the phone. Derek listened carefully and he could hear Meredith's voice as she spoke sternly at whoever was talking to her. The man's voice sounded angrier and Derek tried to hear exactly what they were saying, but Meredith had her hand over the receiver. He thought that he had heard. Meredith's voice was sounding more upset as she replied, and the man's response was curt and angry as Meredith replied. After another moment, she was on the phone again. "Listen… I have to go, Derek." She said softly into the phone, her tone completely changed as she swallowed hard.

"Who was that?" Derek asked, his concern instantly heightened as he listened to the sadness in her voice.

"I have to go…"

"Meri, who was that…? Meri?" He said again.

"I love you, sweetheart… whatever is going on over there… just be safe okay? Take care of them… I have to get back to work."

"Meredith!" Derek exclaimed as she quickly hung up the phone, leaving Derek's stomach in knots and his mind echoing the sadness in her voice, and the anger in the man's voice who had made her feel that way. He could feel himself reacting to her sadness and he was feeling very nervous as he slipped the phone into his pocket and entered the cafeteria.

--------------------

Derek walked into the cafeteria, his brow furrowed in worry as he stepped up to the table where Ellis, Richard, and Richie were sitting.

"So you thought I was running away?" Ellis asked with a smile as she watched Derek sit down. "What's wrong?" She asked, her smile fading as soon as she saw the look on her face.

"Nothing… it was nothing…"

"She's not happy that you hung up on her, I'm sure…" Richard replied.

"Oh... oh, no… she hung up on me… we're even now…" Derek nodded. "I just… it was really weird… one minute she was yelling at me… which you know… is normal… and then suddenly someone started yelling at her… and she had to go really quickly.

"Someone yelled at mommy?" Richie exclaimed. "Oh, tell me who it is… I'll punch them right across the nose…" He said, holding his fist up at his father as Derek shook his head.

"You're not going to punch anyone across the nose…"

"Aww… Daddy… just one of 'em…one old punch across the nose and that'll teach 'em…"

"No more television for you…" Derek raised his eyebrows.

"Maybe we could just sit down and discuss it…" He asked, raising an eyebrow with a wince as Ellis and Richard laughed, watching Derek eye the little boy carefully.

"I'm sure that Meredith can handle herself, Derek…" Ellis replied.

"Yes… I'm sure that she can too… but I still don't like the thought of someone shouting at her like that…"

"Isn't he adorable when he's trying to be all husband like?" Ellis asked Richard as Derek glared at her.

"I'm calling her this afternoon and having her come to Seattle."

"Meredith?"

"No, Ellis… your fairy godmother…of course Meredith."

"Derek…" Ellis shook her head.

"GG! You have a fairy godmother?" Richie asked.

Ellis ran her fingers through the little boy's hair as she glared at his father. "You will not bring Meredith into this, Derek. I do not want her here…"

"Then we're bringing you home… you can have the surgery at home…" Derek said sternly. "Richard… you saw the scans… what do you think?" He asked, glancing to the man as he watched Ellis carefully.

"I think…" He paused for a moment. "I think it's ultimately up to Ellis." He said as he refused to take his eyes off her.

"I'm not asking you what she should do… I'm asking you how much time you think she has left…" Derek replied.

"I'd say probably a month… at most… if it is stable…but there are a lot of other things that will most likely happen before…"

"Seizures, speech problems… coma…" Derek replied. "Is that what you want, Ellis?" Derek asked sternly.

"Derek…" Ellis sighed.

"Tell me why you don't want Meredith here…in Seattle… why are you sheltering her from this place?" Derek said quickly, glancing to Richie as he munched on his French toast stick, watching his father carefully as he appeared to be in a slight panic.

"Derek… there are things… certain things that I don't want her to deal with… here, in Seattle… which is why I need to get things settled… I need to get things squared away so that she doesn't have to deal with them."

"Ellis…" Richard shook his head. "Ellis, you need to just tell him…"

Ellis' eyes snapped to Richard and Derek's as well. Richie munched away, watching as the three adults stared at one another. "No." Ellis replied.

"Ellis… they have a right to know… and it's not as if it is some big deal anymore… Meredith is an adult now… She's married, she has children of her own…"

"And I don't need her to hate me more than she already does…" Ellis growled at Richard.

"Ellis…?" Derek inquired as he glanced to Richard and back to Ellis again. "Ellis, what is he talking about?"

"Nothing… It's time to go…" She said as she started to stand up. "Let's go get cleaned up, sweetheart…" She said as she held her hand out to Richie. Richie looked up at Ellis and slid from his chair, taking his hand in hers. "Your hand is all sticky…" Ellis said with a small laugh as she led the little boy from the table.

"That's cuz I had French toast stickies!" He laughed as Ellis shook her head and walked with him towards the bathroom.

Derek and Richard sat at the table silently for a moment. Derek wanted to ask, and Richard sat there wanting to tell him. Richard turned to Derek and raised his eyebrows as he swallowed hard. "She trusts you, Doctor Shepherd." Richard said with a nod. "I can see it in her eyes that she trusts you… and she loves you…" He sighed. "A long time ago… there was… something between Ellis and I… something very, very special… and unfortunately… it was at a bad time… We were both married, and she had a child. It was a long time ago, and she trusted me like she trusts you… I let her down, Doctor Shepherd… I let her down and then I lost her…Please… please don't let her down, Doctor Shepherd… I don't want to lose her again… not like this."

"But it's her choice, Doctor Webber… it's her choice if she wants to have a procedure done or not…" Derek shook his head. "It's not my choice…I can't make her want to live… I can't make her listen… understand."

"Maybe she just needs to find that one true thing that's worth living for… that one key thing… that proves that her life wasn't just filled with hurting and pain…"

"She needs to start fighting for herself instead of bossing everyone around and having them do it for her...That's what she needs to do…" Derek replied, glancing to Richard as he started to stand up. "I should get them back to the house… she still has other things she wants to have done." Derek sighed. "It was nice to meet you, Richard."

"It was very nice to meet you, Derek." He nodded. "Please take care of her…"

"Oh… I'll take care of her…" Derek said with a smirk as he laughed, glancing to the doorway where Ellis and Richie stood waiting for him.

--------------------

Greyson stood at the toybox, his head was looking down into the box as he looked for a toy to play with. "Hey dummy!" A voice came from behind him.

"Jason…" One of the aids called as she walked over towards the little boy. "Jason, you were told to go sit over at that table for the day."

"I didn't even do nothing wrong…" the little boy said as he scowled at Greyson, who had looked up from the toybox, his eyes wide with concern.

"We talked about what happened yesterday, Jason…" She replied. "You can't call people names."

"Well, I didn't do nothing today…" he said as he growled towards Greyson, who jumped back.

The door of the playroom opened and Marion Shepherd poked her head in. "Greyson?" She said softly as she smiled at the aid who had the other little boy's hand and was leading him over to a table.

Greyson's head snapped in her direction and a smile lit up the little boy's face. "Granny!" He said excitedly as he ran off to his grandmother, reveling in her cuddles as she lifted him from the floor.

"Mrs. Shepherd." The aid said with a smile as she left Jason over at the table as he scowled at Greyson across the room. She smiled at the little boy in Marion's arms and watched as she let him slide to the floor as he went to find his sneakers that somewhere in the morning he had managed to lose.

"How is he doing this morning?" Marion asked as she glanced to Greyson as he looked for his sneakers.

"He's been doing pretty well. Jason has been staying away from him, he has been having a very good day…" The aid said with a smile as she glanced to a little disturbance in the corner that the other aid was taking care of. "He's been coloring and happy throughout the morning…He's much quieter without Richie around."

Marion and the aid spoke for several minutes while Greyson found his sneaker. They glanced to him as he pulled one sneaker onto his foot, and crawled around in search of the second one. They talked quietly for several minutes, when suddenly there was the sound of a scuffle. "Hey!" Jason exclaimed from the floor.

"Greyson!" Marion exclaimed as she ran to her grandson and lifted him from the incident, looking down at the little boy on the floor. "What is going on over here?"

"He pushed me off my chair! That stupid big baby pushed me off my chair!" Jason exclaimed.

Greyson's eyes were wide with fear as his grandmother glanced to the other boy. She remained quiet as the aid helped the little boy from the ground. "Greyson, did you push Jason?"

Greyson said nothing, only pointed at the older boy. Jason glanced to the aid and his hand slipped behind his back, something falling to the floor. "It appears that somehow, Greyson's sneaker just happened to get stuck to your hand…?" Marion asked the little boy sternly. Marion stepped forward and leaned down, picking the shoe up. "Is this yours?" She asked Jason sternly.

The little boy's eyes were wide with fear of this stranger talking to him angrily. He opened his mouth and shook his head. "No… no… no, ma'am…" He whimpered.

"Why did you have it in your hand?"

"I…I…"

"Listen… Jason…" Marion said sternly. "I'm not going to stand for this bullying that has been going on around here… I will just not stand for it…" She said angrily. "You had better straighten yourself out very soon, young man… or you're going to be dealing with more than just Greyson's Granny… Now I want you to apologize to him, right now." She said sternly.

"But he pushed…"

"Jason…" She said sternly as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"I'm sorry, Greyson…" he mumbled as he looked at Greyson with an embarrassed look.

"Grey… apologize for pushing Jason, please…"

"I'm sorry I pushed you." Greyson said softly as he grabbed his sneaker from Marion and sat on the floor to put it on.

"Are you going to behave yourself?" Marion asked the other little boy as she looked down on him sternly.

"Yes… yes… I'm sorry…" he whispered as he glanced to Greyson. He then turned and went back to the assigned table and sat down quietly, his cheeks bright red with embarrassment as he glanced up at Marion and back down at his coloring book again, swallowing hard as he waited for them to leave. The aid gave Marion a grateful nod as she finally noted the remorse in Jason's demeanor.

Marion took Greyson's hand as he stood up and walked quietly with him from the room. As they walked out into the hallway together, Greyson looked up at his grandmother and tugged her hand. "Granny…" He whispered, tugging on her arm.

"What is it, baby?" Marion asked as they stopped and Marion turned to crouch down.

"I'm not really sorry." Greyson shrugged.

"You know what…?" Marion whispered. "Between you and I… that's alright…" She winked as she squeezed her grandson's hand and smiled at him. "But let's not do it again, alright?"

"Okay…" Greyson said with a grin as he tugged her arm with a smile as they made their way to lunch together.

--------------------

Derek, Ellis, and Richie rode back to the house in silence. Ellis had said her goodbyes to Richard, and all she wanted to do was get back to the house and gather a few things, including her thoughts.

"Derek…" Ellis said as he drove along quietly. "Derek… please stop doing that…"

"Stop doing what?" He asked as he glanced over to her.

"You know what you're doing… you're driving on the rumble strip on the side of the road. Don't do that…"

"Rumble strip? I'm not driving on a rumble strip? I don't know what you're talking about…" Derek said as he felt the vibration of the car as he drove with one side of the car hanging over just slightly.

"Derek, I can feel it… stop it…"

"Are you sure you're not having a seizure? Someone in your condition… you know… could have a seizure, and it could feel like someone is driving over a rumble strip…" Derek shrugged.

"Derek… I'm serious, stop it…"

"Stop what?" He asked again as he glanced in the rearview mirror. "Richie… do you feel a rumble strip?" He asked, winking at his son.

Richie grinned at his father's sign. "GG, I don't feel a rumble strip… I don't know what you're talking about…"

"GG is having a seizure, isn't she?"

"Sure is…" Richie nodded.

"Derek… don't bring him into your little games…"

"Games? I'm not playing games…" Derek said as he glanced at the turn signal on the car that had been on for the past four miles. Suddenly, the car began to make a 'ding' sound to indicate that he needed to turn it off.

"Derek… what is that dinging sound?"

"Dinging sound?" Derek asked, giving her an incredulous look.

"Yes… dinging sound… I hear it… its because… Derek… turn your turn signal off…"

"Turn signal? I don't know what you're talking about… Maybe your ears are dinging…That's probably a side effect of your condition…"

"You're going to have a condition if you don't start driving normally…"

"DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!" Richie squealed from the back seat.

Derek glanced to Ellis as he noticed that she was now staring out the front window. He quickly turned off the turn signal and pulled back into the lane completely, as the rest of the drive was in silence.

---------------

Derek pulled into the driveway of the house and parked just as his phone began to ring. He pulled it from his pocket and smiled softly. "Mom…" He said, glancing to Ellis, who was still glaring at him. "Oh, wipe that look off your face… my mom likes me…" He said as Ellis turned her head.

"Derek… are you talking to Ellis that way?" Marion said into the phone.

"No ma'am." Derek said as he raised his eyebrows, listening to Ellis chuckle from beside him.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on, or not? Is she alright? You never called back last night. Meredith said that you talked to her, but you didn't tell her anything, did you? She didn't mention anything… Derek?"

"Mom… geez… you're rambling… you've been hanging out with Meredith too long…" He chuckled slightly.

"Stop fooling around and tell me what's going on!" She snapped.

"Sorry… Mom, Ellis is…" Derek could feel something sharp on his arm. "Pinching me… ow… don't pinch me…" He said, swatting at her hand. "Can't you see that I'm talking on the phone?"

"Don't you dare…" Ellis said, her eyebrows rising as she dared him.

"Ellis is sick…" He exclaimed as he leapt from the car, nearly falling out onto the ground, his leg was caught as Ellis reached across angrily.

"Derek!" Ellis exclaimed.

"Ellis is sick… and she won't get treated…" He said, pulling his leg from the car.

"Derek… what on earth is going on?"

"I think she was going to hurt me…" Derek said as he watched Ellis climb from the car.

"I'm confused… Derek… please tell me what is going on…"

Ellis opened the back seat and Richie climbed from the seat. He walked over to his father and reached up for his hand as Ellis walked towards the house. "Ellis is… she… Ellis has an aneurysm." Derek said softly.

"An aneurysm?" Marion gasped. "Derek…"

"It's a very large… very precarious aneurysm… and she doesn't want to be treated…" He said as he looked up to see Ellis glaring at him from the porch. He stuck his tongue out at her and turned around, pulling Richie into him.

"Oh… oh my God… oh… oh, Derek…" Marion said as she started to panic. "Meredith doesn't know? You have to tell her, Derek! You have to tell her! Oh… is she… can I talk to her, please?"

"She's in the house, mom… don't worry… I'm still talking to her about…"

"Meredith is going to be so upset! Why did she go so far away! What was she thinking? Oh… this is just… this is just…"

"Mom… sit down… mom, please sit down…" Derek said softly as he held Richie's hand as the little boy looked up at his father's worried face as he leaned against the car and looked up to the sky. "Mom… mom, please just sit down…" Derek whispered, his voice panicking as he listened to his mother talking so nervously.

"Oh, Derek… you have to do something… Derek, this is just horrible…I just can't believe that she doesn't want to have it taken care of… I don't understand…what is she thinking?" Marion lamented nervously over the phone.

"I'm not sure what she's thinking, Mom… all I know… is that… she was told by three different doctors that it is inoperable…"

"What do you think?" Marion whispered.

"I think… that if she's going to have any chance of surviving, she's going to need to have it taken care in the next week or two…" Derek said softly.

"And Meredith has no idea…" She shook her head as she listened to Derek reply.

Derek paused. "No…" Derek sighed. "Ellis doesn't want her to know…" Marion paused, thoughts racing through her mind as she tried to imagine what Ellis could possibly be thinking by not telling Meredith. "I… know that Meredith needs to know, and I need to get her here to Seattle… I'm working on it… I just have to get Ellis to agree… to tell her, I need her trust… she's the one going through this, I need her to know that she can trust me… that she understands that Meredith can handle this. I don't think she believes that Meredith is strong enough… she's trying to hide something from her."

"You said two weeks, Derek." Marion whispered.

"I did… and it will… but…I need… I have to…"

"Sweetheart… you need to tell her."

"I know." He swallowed hard. "I know I need to tell her… and its… its really, really… I…" Derek paused for a moment. "Meri said you were taking Grey to lunch." He interrupted himself.

"He's right here…" Marion said softly. "I'll let you talk to him…" She said softly as she handed the phone to her grandson.

"Daddy?" The tiny voice came over the line.

"Grey?" Derek said, hearing the tentativeness in his son's voice.

"Daddy!" Greyson exclaimed into the line as he heard his father's voice, sending a grin across Derek's face. "Daddy, I miss you so much! I miss you! Do you miss me? Mommy misses you… she says so all the time! When are you coming home? Are you coming home soon? I want to tell stories with you… I want to tell stories… oh, daddy…"

"I miss you too, buddy… slow down… slow down…" Derek said with a chuckle. "Snuggle bear sends his love."

"Oh, Daddy! Snuggle bear! I miss him too! Is he being a good boy?"

"He's being a very good boy…" Derek said softly, the happiness in his son's voice sending his heart fluttering. "He misses you very much."

"I miss you both, Daddy…"

"Are you taking good care of mommy?"

"Oh yes, yes, I am… like I promised… Tell GG I miss her too… me and Granny are having tons of fun, but its no fun without GG and Richie and you, Daddy… it's just no fun without you… its no fun…" Greyson exclaimed. "It's just no fun…" He sighed.

"Its no fun without you either, buddy…" Derek said as he looked down to Richie who was smiling up at him. "Would you like to talk to your brother?"

"Oh, yes!" Greyson exclaimed as he hopped a little and looked up at his grandmother.

Derek reached the phone down to Richie, holding his hand over the receiver. "Your brother wants to talk to you… I don't want to hear anything about punching anyone across the nose…" Derek said, watching Richie nod before he handed the phone to Richie.

"Grey!" Richie said excitedly.

"Richie!" Greyson giggled. "I miss you!"

"I miss you…" Richie said with a smile. "You gotta come here, Grey… we went on the monorail, and went into the space needle and we saw the mountains… they have SUCH big mountains here, Grey! You'll love it!"

"I want to go to Seattle… I want to come see you guys!"

"Ask Granny and Mommy… tell them you want to…" Richie said excitedly, looking up at Derek, who was shaking his head. "Don't bug them though…" He said, wrinkling his forehead. "It's not that… fun… it's okay… I don't think you'd like it…" He said softly as he sighed. Derek gave him an indication that he wanted the phone back and smiled. "Grey… Daddy wants the phone back… but it was fun to talk to you…"

"Yep, it was fun to talk to you too.." Greyson whispered. "Oh… Oh, Richie… Jason was mean to me… don't worry though, I got him to leave me alone…"

"Good…" Richie grinned as he looked up at his father. "Just wait till I get home… I'll give him a punch right across his nose… I'll talk to you later, Grey… bye!" He exclaimed as Derek grabbed the phone as Richie took off running towards the house, looking back at his father's scowl as he disappeared into the house.

"Greyson…" Derek said into the phone, hearing his son's voice.

"Hi, daddy…"

"Hey, buddy… can I talk to Granny again, please?"

"Okay…" Greyson said with a smile. "Bye, Daddy…"

"Bye, Grey… you be a good boy."

"I will… You be a good boy too." He said with a smile, as he handed the phone back to Marion.

"Derek?" Marion said softly.

"Mom…" Derek said, his voice was soft as he sighed softly. "Mom, I will talk to Meredith soon… I need to talk to Ellis…" Derek said softly.

"Derek… this is very serious…"

"I understand." Derek said softly. "Mark knows…He's helping me make some arrangements." Derek replied.

"Arrangements?" Marion whispered.

"Mom… trust me… I'm doing the right thing… please… just trust me." Derek replied.

"Talk to her Derek… and I want to hear back from you as soon as possible."

"I will call you soon, Mom… Thank you for… thank you for taking care of them for me." Derek said softly.

"Well… you take care of that half of your family… and I'll take care of this half…" She replied softly.

"I'll call you soon."

"I love you, Derek."

"I love you, Mom." Derek said softly as he hung the phone up and looked up at the house. He sighed and walked towards the house, working through his mind on how he could possibly get Ellis Grey to see things from his side of things.

--------------------

Meredith walked down the hallway quickly with a chart in her hands, her pager went off again. She sighed in disgust as she turned quickly, nearly running into someone behind her.

"In a hurry, Doctor Shepherd?" Doctor Hanna said with an irritated scowl.

"In fact, I am. Excuse me…" She said with a sneer as she tried to walk around him, only to have him step in her way. "I said, excuse me…"

"I don't think you need to answer that page… I think that someone else can take care of it."

"I don't think so… I think I'm just fine answering this page." Meredith said as she tried to step around him again. "Do you enjoy harassing me, Doctor Hanna?"

"I'm not harassing you, Doctor Shepherd. I'm telling you that someone else can handle the page. Doctor Yang…" he said, addressing Cristina who was eating a bag of chips behind the counter. She looked up. "Someone is needed in OR 3…"

"Tell Meredith to go… I'm on break." Cristina said, knowing full well that Meredith had yet to be in on a surgery since Doctor Hanna had been there. She was not about to step on her friend's toes for a surgery, not for this man or anyone.

"Excuse me?"

"I said I'm on break." Cristina mumbled. "Mer, OR 3."

"Thanks." Meredith threw her friend a grin and Doctor Hanna a smirk as she turned and ran down the hallway for the OR.

Meredith felt bad that she had left Cristina alone with the man who was creating far too much misery for them all, but she knew that if anyone could handle the man, it'd be Cristina. She was just rounding the corner when she came face to face with Mark. "Hey…" He said with a smile as he saw the look of almost panic in Meredith's eyes. "Mer, you alright?"

"I'm just… escaping… or something…"

"Chief got you in a bind?"

"Like you wouldn't believe…"

"Maybe a little surgery will help clear your mind…" He smirked.

"It's yours?"

"You got it… head trauma… burns… broken bones… the works…"

"Oh Mark…" She shook her head. "If I wasn't married, and you weren't dating my best friend…" She sighed with a laugh.

"Aren't you going to finish that sentence?"

"… I still wouldn't go out with you…" She laughed as Mark laughed.

"Just get in there and scrub in, you little pain in the ass…" Mark said with a laugh as he followed her inside, the thought of what Derek told him sitting in the back of his mind as they scrubbed in together.

--------------------

Derek walked into the house and sighed as he looked around for Ellis and Richie. "Alright, Richard… where are you?"

"I'm not in the kitchen…" Richie called as Derek shook his head and walked towards the kitchen. He stepped into the room and Richie looked up at his father. "I didn't tell HIM to punch Jason across the nose, I told him that I'd do it for him when I get back to Boston…" He said with a shrug as he pulled a popsicle from the freezer.

"I don't want anyone to be punched across the nose…ever…" Derek grumbled.

"Are you always going to be in a bad mood?" Ellis asked, raising her eyebrows at him as she looked through a phone book.

"As long as you're putting me through this, yes." Derek replied.

"I'm not putting you through anything." Ellis said as she looked up at him. "There's nothing that you have to worry about…" She replied.

Derek glanced to Richie, who nodded and quietly took his Popsicle into another room. When the door closed, Derek turned back to Ellis. "You're not putting me through anything, huh?" Derek said as he leaned over the table. "You're not putting me through anything?" He growled.

"You're crowding me." She looked up at him over her glasses as he stood above her.

"What do you mean… that you're not putting me through anything?" Derek growled.

"I mean…" Ellis said as she stood up straight, pushing her glasses back onto her nose. "I mean that your only instructions when I kick the bucket… are to dig a hole, put me in a pine box, throw the box in the hole, and slap a stone with my name on it above me… that's what I mean… It's not a big deal… you have nothing to worry about." She said as she looked back down at the phone book.

"Do you really think it's that easy, Ellis?" Derek exclaimed.

"No… I expect that my grandchildren will miss me…" She shrugged.

"And that doesn't bother you?" Derek asked angrily.

"It does bother me." She replied, clearing her throat as she looked up at him. "It does bother me, Derek. There's nothing that I can do about it."

"That's not true!" Derek exclaimed as he reached for the phone book, only to have it slide from his reach. "That's not true, Ellis… you know that it's not true!"

"Stop shouting at me, Derek." Ellis replied coldly as she turned to walk from the kitchen, holding the phone book.

"Don't you dare walk away from me, Ellis…" Derek growled. "This conversation is not over!"

"This conversation never began, Derek." Ellis replied as she turned and walked out of the kitchen without a second glance.

Derek clenched his fists angrily as he slammed the chair out from beneath the table. He took his phone out from his pocket and set it on the table in front of him.

He put the number of Mark's pager in his phone and stared at it for a while. He set the phone on the table and just looked at the numbers for as long as he could stand it. He closed his eyes and reached for the phone, closing it onto the table, he leaned forward and put his head in his hands, and sighed.

--------------------

Meredith was silent in surgery, other than the occasional request for an instrument or suction, she had barely said a word. Mark had finished his assessment of the burns and had offered help in preparing the patient so that the possibility of surgery would be possible when he were more stable and he watched Meredith work.

"You're quiet." Mark said softly.

"I'm working." Meredith replied.

"You're never quiet when you're working… half the time, we have to tell you to shut up… what's on your mind?" Mark asked as he took the scrub nurses spot to help Meredith.

Meredith looked up at him. "You're my scrub nurse, huh?"

"I'm willing to bump myself down a few notches to stand next to you." He smirked beneath the mask. Meredith looked up at the scrub nurse who was giving Mark a dirty look and Mark turned to her. "Sorry about that…" He cringed as he watched her smile and shake her head.

"Are you through insulting my staff?" Meredith asked, her voice slightly humored as she continued the surgery.

"I'm through with that, I'm onto insulting you… what's wrong?" He asked, wondering if Derek had let anything slip.

"Derek's lying to me…" She cleared her throat, looking up at the other people in the room. "Doctor, doctor confidentiality, here please…" She said as everyone nodded.

"Derek's not lying to you."

"He is…" Meredith said, shaking her head.

"Why would you say that?" Mark asked as he continued to help with the surgery.

"He wouldn't tell me where he was this morning… I know he wasn't at the house, he said he had slept on a chair…"

"Maybe he was bad and your mom put him in a time out…"

"That's another thing." Meredith said, stopping for a second. "I haven't talked to my mother since they left…"

"You never talked to your mother when she was here, Meredith." Mark pointed out.

"That's not the point." Meredith said as she looked back down and continued. "The point is… the point… Shut up…" She shook her head as she listened to Mark chuckle. "Its just weird." Meredith replied. "I don't understand why they even went to Seattle. I don't know if she's sick… or worse… or is she's just messing with Derek… but something is going on… something that Derek's not telling me, and if Derek isn't telling me, then it has to be really big." She said with a swallow as she shook her head lightly.

"Maybe you should go to Seattle to find out yourself." Mark shrugged, knowing that it was probably not the best thing to say, but he was at a loss and knew that he wasn't a good liar.

"That's another thing." Meredith said, glancing up to Mark. "She doesn't want me to go out there… I think its because of my father… I think she doesn't want me out there because of that… but you know… if I wanted to meet him… know him, I probably would have done it by now, don't you think? If I really wanted to do that, I would have… and besides… what would there be to hide about my father that I already don't know about." Meredith shrugged. "It just doesn't make sense…" She said as she finished up the procedure she was doing. "Besides…" She said looking up to Mark as she stepped back from the procedure and let one of the other doctors close up as she headed towards the scrub room. "With Hanna around, I don't think there is any way that I'll get any time off. I swear that my mother loves torturing me…" She whispered as Mark followed behind her.

"He wasn't her first choice." Mark said as they entered the scrub room.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I heard from someone that she actually wanted Derek to take the reigns… but she needed his help with her business in Seattle, so he went with her, and the board picked Dr. Hanna."

"Derek?"

"He's qualified." Mark shrugged as the two of them started to scrub out.

"That's pure and simple rumors, Mark. My mother wouldn't give Derek an inch… as much as she acts like she likes him, I don't think that she believes that he'd be ready for chief responsibilities." Meredith replied.

"I think she trusts him enough." Mark replied as suddenly his pager went off. He looked at the number and swallowed hard. "I'll be right back." He said as he turned for the door.

"Mark, there's a phone right in here…" She said, but before she could finish the sentence, he had stepped out of the scrub room into the hallway.

--------------------

Mark stepped out of the scrub room and grabbed his cell phone, he dialed the number quickly and listened for the ring.

"Hey." Derek said clearly over the line as he answered the phone.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"I am going to tell her." Derek said, clearing his throat.

"You're going to tell her…?" Mark replied. "Ellis agreed?"

"Ellis doesn't get a choice. I've lied for long enough… I need my wife."

"You miss me too, don't you?" Mark smirked.

"Shut up…" Derek chuckled. "Listen… I called chief of staff… he's giving you and Meredith two weeks time starting tomorrow morning… I explained it was a family emergency."

"Family emergency, huh?" Mark chuckled. "How did you explain that one?"

"I told him that you were Meredith's Siamese twin… shut up…" Derek said with an irritated growl. "Listen… tomorrow morning… six… plane for Seattle for you, Meri and Grey. I'll send you the address a little later, but first I have to…"

"Admit that your pants are flammable?" Mark laughed.

"You are having way too much fun at my expense. Listen… I'm going to call her… tell her that she needs to sit down or something, she's going to get nervous, I need you to keep an eye on her… her next move is going to be to look for the closest empty room she can find… closet, on call room… she's going to go in there and I'm going to tell her… she's probably going to scream or cry… probably say more than a few things to me that she will regret… or maybe not regret… but they'll be mean, mean, mean things… and I just need you to be there for her…"

"I got it, Derek… it's fine…"

"She's going to be so pissed at me…" Derek shook his head.

"Cris is going to be pissed that she wasn't included." Mark replied.

"She can get all of Meri's surgeries… she'll be fine…" Derek sighed.

"Meri hasn't been doing many surgeries, Derek. This Interim chief of surgery has been putting her through the ringer."

"What?"

"He's been driving her insane… he's taking on the whole favoritism issue, saying that Meredith takes advantage… he's really going after her… she only just today got to do her first surgery. I've been trying for days to get her available to help out."

"That's probably who was yelling at her this morning when she was talking to me… who is it?"

"Doctor Hanna?" Mark said questioningly, expecting that Derek would know who he is.

"I know the guy… he's a real ass… goddamn it!" Derek exclaimed, slamming his fist into the counter. "So now Meri has to deal with him and this on top of it… goddamn it… fucking goddamned Ellis…" Derek growled.

"And you want to save her life…" Mark laughed at the irony.

"Oh shut up…" Derek grumbled as he sighed. "Thank you for doing this, Mark… really… I just… I don't want her traveling alone… and she's going to be pretty pissed… I really… I do appreciate it." Derek said sincerely.

"No problem at all… I'll keep an eye on her. Good luck." Mark said with an encouraging tone.

"Thanks, Man." Derek said softly as he hung the phone up, pausing for a moment for some courage before dialing Meredith's pager number.

--------------------

Derek sat on the back porch of the house waiting patiently for the phone call. He was tapping his fingers on the plastic patio furniture as he waited, his stomach was in knots as he sighed. He swallowed hard as the ring of the phone interrupted his thoughts. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so nervous to talk to someone on the telephone. He flipped the phone open on the third ring. "Hey…" he said, his voice was soft and sweet as he listened for her response.

"What do you need?" She asked softly, her voice was filled with anxiousness as she listened for his answer, her nerves on high alert as she waited for his response.

"I just… wanted to call you." He said, pausing slightly as he spoke, the anxiety dripping from his words.

"Derek? You paged me… is something wrong?" She asked, hearing the hesitation in his voice.

"Where are you?" He asked softly.

"I'm at work… Der… what did you want?"

"Mer…" he said softly, his voice taking on the tone that he would get when talking to his patients. The tone that he got when he told a patient's family that their loved one had died or were going to die. The tone that was not the tone that she wanted, or expected to hear from her husband.

"No." She said sternly. "You… No, Derek…" She said, her voice filled with anxiety as she tried to form a sentence, but found herself at a loss for words.

"Meredith, listen…"

"No, Derek…" She shook her head as she looked around the hallway, her pace was slow, but picking up. "No, Derek…" She whispered.

"Meredith, listen… you have to relax…. Just let me talk, okay?"

"No, Derek… No… No, No, no… Derek…" Meredith said into the phone, the anxiety stronger as she walked faster, her body propelling down the hallway as she tried to find a quiet corner. "Derek, stop right now…"

"Meredith, you were right earlier about there being something that I wasn't telling you… and I was wrong… I was wrong, and I should have told you earlier."

"Derek… Derek, I don't want to hear it… tell me my baby is fine."

"Richie is fine…"

"Tell me that you're fine." She said as she swung open the door to the stairwell.

"Meredith, where are you going?"

"Derek… tell me my mom is fine." She said as she stomped up the stairs rapidly.

"Meredith, where are you?"

"Tell me that my mother is fine, Derek…" She said as she continued to climb the stairs. "Tell me that my MOTHER IS FINE, DEREK!" She screamed.

"Your mother is fine." Derek said, figuring that he wasn't lying, because right this moment, she was fine. Ten minutes later, she may not be, but right now, she is fine.

"Could I talk to her?" She stopped.

"If you want to." He said softly, truthfully.

"I don't want to…" She paused. "She's fine?"

"For now…" Derek said softly. "Meri... your mother is... sick..."

"No." Meredith whimpered. "No, oh… no… please… Derek…"

"Meri… where are you?"

"Nowhere…" She whimpered as she sat on the top step of the stairwell and rocked back and forth.

"Meri… where are you?"

"Nowhere… she's dying, isn't she? She's dying… I told you! I TOLD YOU SHE WAS DYING! I TOLD YOU!" She screamed into the line as she stood up and slammed her fist into the latch bar on the door, swinging the door open to the last floor of the hospital, a floor mainly used for storage. "I TOLD YOU!" She screamed.

"Meredith… we need you in Seattle. You and Grey… Mark will bring you to me, I got you two weeks off… I need you in Seattle… I need you to help me… Meri…there are tickets at the…"

"I don't want to come to Seattle!" She said angrily, tearfully.

"I need you here."

"Just let her die!" Meredith said angrily as she flung her phone closed and swung quickly into an empty on call room as she walked inside, locking the door, she collapsed on the bed and began to sob.

--------------------

Derek dialed her cell phone again and again, and each time he did, it went directly voice mail. "Goddamn it!" he exclaimed as he slammed his phone down on the table, watching the battery fly off across the table onto the wooden porch. He jumped from his seat and landed on his hands and knees, slamming the battery onto the phone, he called Mark.

"Hey."

"Did you find her?"

"She took off into the stairwell…" Mark said as he continued to search the hallways.

"You didn't follow her?"

"I followed her… but I don't know if she went up or down…"

"Mark!" Derek exclaimed. "Check storage downstairs… she may have gone downstairs…"

"Got it…" Mark said as he jogged down the stairs.

"Thank you…" Derek said, still kneeling on the ground as he closed his phone.

"Daddy… what are you doing on the ground?" Richie's voice brought Derek's attention to the two small feet standing in front of him.

"I dropped my phone…" Derek said as he stood up, nearly bumping his head on the table. "I dropped my phone… what are you doing out here…?"

"GG went out…" Richie said with a sigh.

"What?" Derek exclaimed.

"GG went out…" Richie replied as he pointed toward the road. Derek could see around the corner, the rental car driving down the road.

"Son of a bitch!" Derek exclaimed as he took off running into the house.

"Daddy!" Richie exclaimed as he ran after his father, into the house. Derek ran towards the front of the house and out the front door, only to see the rental car turn the corner.

Derek's face was turning red, he could feel the anger building up in his body as he took a deep breath, trying desperately not to shout again in front of Richie. "Daddy… are you alright?" Richie whispered.

"I'm… I'll be alright, buddy…" Derek said softly. "Did GG say where she was going, Richie?" Derek said calmly, his face still red, though his demeanor much cooler.

"She said she had to go visit a friend… she said she'd be back soon…" Richie shrugged. "Daddy… can we call mommy?" he asked softly.

"Mommy is at work buddy… we'll call her in a little while… I promise…" Derek said softly as he sighed. "Why don't we go upstairs… and… and pack a little more…" Derek sighed.

"Okay…" Richie said softly, watching his father's eyes soften. "Are you sure you're okay, daddy?"

"Daddy's just… he's tired, buddy… let's go on upstairs… you're doing a good job taking care of me… thank you…" Derek said with a smile as he took his son's hand and walked him upstairs, glancing out the window and clenching his jaw as they walked by the door as he gripped the phone in his other hand.

--------------------

Meredith sobbed violently into the sheets on the bed, her anger was more than she thought she had in her. "I hate her! I hate her! I hate her!" She screamed as loudly as she could, her vocal chords were raw from vibration as she felt the hot, angry tears run down her face. Beneath the screaming, she suddenly heard a fist slam into the door. "GO AWAY!" She screamed angrily.

"Meri, it's me… Let me in" A man's voice muffled, came from the other side of the door.

Meredith stopped for a second, her mind momentarily clouded, that she mistook the voice for Derek's. She immediately realized who was on the other side of the door. "GO AWAY, MARK!" She squealed angrily. "Go away and leave me alone!" She screamed.

"Meri, let me in…" Mark demanded as he pounded on the door.

"You're not getting in here Mark! No! Go away!" She screamed.

"Meri… please… Derek…"

"Derek is the LAST name that I want to hear right now!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Meri, please… He's trying to do this as painless as possible… he asked me to do this for him… please, let me hold you…"

"I don't want to be held! I want to go home! I want my sons with me… together! I want to be HOME! I don't want to be held… I don't want you… I don't want you…" Meredith continued to sob.

"Meri, open the door now!"

"No… no…" She continued to cry. "Meredith… what the hell is wrong with you…? You're never this emotional… Are you freaking pregnant or something?" Mark shouted with an irritated grunt as he leaned against the door.

Two seconds later, the door swung open, sending Mark flying into the room, slamming it full force closed as his momentum sent him flying into the bed.

--------------------

Mark rolled onto his back, and suddenly, Meredith was sitting atop him, her face in his. "Why would you say that?"

"What? What? What did I say?" He asked, guarding his face from her, thinking she was going to hit him.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you're freaking out like this… I mean… it's one thing to cry because of all of this, to be upset… but you locked yourself somewhere where you didn't think anyone was going to find you… Don't you remember right before you found out you were pregnant with Greyson? It took us hours to find you under the gurney in the tunnels… " He asked innocently, peeking out from between his fingers.

"No! No! No! I am not pregnant! Stop it! Stop!" She screamed as she punched him with her fist. He instantly grabbed her around the waist and rolled her, straddling her body on the bed as he held her hands down.

"Bad… bad, Meri…" He said with a smirk.

"Get off of me…" She muttered angrily, her face red, her teeth gritted. "You knew about all of this and you didn't tell me…"

"I was given strict orders not to tell you… Derek was given strict orders not to tell you… we were told not to tell you…"

"Now I know… now I know and I hate both of you… and I hate her!"

"You don't hate me… you love me…" Mark said with a smirk. "What did he tell you?"

"She's sick…" Meredith pouted.

"That's all he said?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows.

"That's all he had to say…"

"So you didn't ask him anything else?"

"Get off of me…" She mumbled as she struggled against him.

"You didn't ask him anything else?" He asked again.

"I said get off of me!" She exclaimed.

"Meredith… listen… we're going to Seattle tomorrow…"

"No!"

"We're going to Seattle tomorrow because your mother has an aneurysm the size of a cantaloupe in her head and she needs someone to convince her to have surgery…"

"Derek is there…" She said, tears springing to her eyes as she looked up at Mark. "He can…"

"She won't listen to him…" Mark shook his head. "She didn't want you out there… she went out there because she didn't want you to see her going through this pain... she didn't want you to watch her die… if she has this surgery, she won't die… if she has the surgery… Meredith… She loves you…"

"If she loved me, she wouldn't have left… she would want me to be there for her…"

"Meri… she loves you enough to keep you safe… She went to Seattle to settle things, she went there because she didn't want you to see her weak… she didn't want you to see her deteriorate… she's prided herself in her strength… and she thinks that by facing death head on, she's being strong."

"It's stupid." Meredith whimpered.

"It is stupid." Mark nodded. "We just have to get out there and knock some sense into the old bat…" He smirked slightly as he watched her nod, her lip still trembling as tears rolled down her cheeks. He slowly released her arms and moved to the side, pulling her body into his as she buried her face in his chest. She grasped his shirt tightly as she continued to cry. "It's okay, Meri…" Mark said softly as he held her. "It's okay…" He whispered, carefully rubbing his hand across her back as he felt her body tremble against his.

"And I'm not pregnant…" Meredith whimpered against him.

"And you're not pregnant…" Mark whispered, holding her tightly as he continued to hold her.

"Because if I were, I'd have to kill you…" She sniffled, wiping her tears against his shirt as she looked up.

"Hey… it wouldn't be my fault…" He said, holding his hands up innocently as he raised his eyebrows.

"Well, if you're going to be my stand in hugger and comforter… you're going to have to be my stand in father of my child…" She whimpered as she moved her gaze away from him, pushing her body farther into his.

"So… if you're not pregnant… do I still get to be your stand in husband?" He asked with a snarky tone, the smile evident in his voice.

"I have my limits…" She sniffled against him as she listened to him chuckle, his grip on her only tightening as he held her and comforted her.

--------------------

Mark held Meredith until her crying had subsided, his hand gently ran across her back as he gently kissed the top of her head. Her grip slowly loosened from him as she just lay in his arms thinking. Mark's phone rang again, buzzing loudly in his pocket as he refused to move. "You know that's him…" Mark whispered into her hair as she held to him tightly.

"I know." She whispered.

"You know he's worried…" Mark replied.

"I know."

"Probably pulling his hair out…" Mark replied.

"He'd never do that." She whispered.

"For you, he would." Mark chuckled slightly as he continued to hold her. The phone stopped buzzing for a moment, and then started up once again. "You do realize that it's starting to feel good, don't you?" He asked, feeling her start to pull away.

"Mark!" She exclaimed as she pushed against him, listening to him laugh loudly.

"What?" he laughed as he looked into her eyes. "Talk to him…" He said softly, smiling softly.

"You talk to him." She said, crossing her arms over her chest as she faced him, her head pushing into the pillow as she watched him give her a pouty face. She shook her head as she sniffled, reaching up to wipe her eye.

Mark sighed as he unclipped his phone and brought it to his ear. "Sloan." He said with a half smirk.

"Mark!" Derek exclaimed. "Did you find her?"

"Who?" Mark asked, watching Meredith smile slightly.

"Mark!"

"Derek." Mark said in a deep voice.

"She's there, isn't she? You found her? Tell me that you're with her, please…"

"Derek… I can't be chasing down your pain in the ass wife all the time…" He cringed as Meredith gave him a punch, he shot her an amused warning glare. "She took off… probably went to drown her sorrows in juice boxes and…those little plastic balls in Chuck E. Cheese…" He shrugged at Meredith who gave him a confused look.

"Mark…" Derek growled. "Tell her I love her."

"He loves you." Mark said to Meredith, watching as she smiled.

"Tell her that I miss her." Derek said quickly.

"He says he misses you…" Mark said, making a face at her.

"Tell her that I'm sorry…"

"He says that I can sleep with you if it makes you feel better…" Mark grinned.

"Mark!" Derek exclaimed.

"Give me that…" Meredith said as she grabbed the phone and turned quickly, pushing herself into Mark as she felt him laugh against her.

"You two sure like to yell my name a lot…" He chuckled as she elbowed him softly in the side, feeling his arms encircle her as she talked.

"I miss your kiss." She whispered into the phone.

"Meri…" His voice instantly softened as he sit on the bed in one of the bedrooms. Richie watched him from his spot on the floor, where he played with a couple of toys he found in one of the boxes in the room. "I'm sorry…"

"I know you are…" She swallowed. "How long… how long have you known?"

"Yesterday." Derek said softly.

"You knew when I talked to you last night?"

"Yes." He whispered. "She fainted… we had to bring her to the hospital…"

"Aneurysm?" She whispered, feeling Mark's grip tighten slightly as she squeezed his hand with her free hand.

"Yes." He replied softly. "She could survive with a double barrel bypass… she could… and she doesn't want it."

"Derek…" Meredith whimpered.

"I know, sweetheart…"

"I just… I just got to know her… doesn't she want… doesn't she care? Doesn't she?…Derek…" She whimpered again as the tears began to flow down her cheeks.

"It's okay, sweetheart… it's okay…" Derek said softly as he wanted to desperately to reach out to her, to hold her, to touch her, to kiss her… to let her know that everything was going to be okay. "Please don't cry… please don't cry…" He whispered. He looked down and could feel a tiny hand in his. His son smiled at him softly as he crawled up onto the bed and slid over, resting his head on his father's arm. Derek pulled him into his lap as he talked. "Meri… Meri… please…" Derek whispered.

"I love you." She sobbed.

"I love you, baby…" Derek said softly as he felt tears coming to his eyes. "Is Mark taking good care of you?"

"Yes…" She sniffled. "He is… but… I think he got me pregnant…" She whimpered into the phone.

"What?" Derek asked, sitting up as his voice rose about three octaves. He smiled softly when he heard her giggling, telling Mark to stop tickling her. "I need you here, Meri… she won't listen to me…"

"She's not going to listen to me, Derek…" Meredith whimpered.

"Well… even if she doesn't… you deserve to be here… here with your family… so that we can do this together…I don't want to spend another second away from you. I need you… I need Grey…"

"How about the baby… do you need the baby too?" Mark asked from behind her, making her giggle a little.

"Yes…" Derek chuckled. "I need Mark's baby too…" He said as he rolled his eyes. "Come to Seattle…"

"Derek… the interim chief… he…"

"I went above him…Chief of Staff…Tell Hanna that you don't need to be Ellis Grey. Tell him that you're Meredith Shepherd... the trifecta of perfection… Wife, Mother, Surgeon extraordinaire…"

"You're sucking up." Meredith whispered softly as she listened to his soft chuckle on the other end of the line. "Keep going…" She said as she wiped the tear from her eye as she listened to his chuckle deepen into a laugh.

"Are you still mad at me?" He whispered.

"I'm a little upset." She whispered.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise." Derek replied.

"You had better…" She giggled as she felt Mark tickling her again. "Or Mark is going to…" She laughed as she heard Derek laugh.

"Let me talk to him…" Derek said softly.

"Okay…" She whispered. "I love you." She said softly.

"I love you too…" Derek said with a smile as he heard the phone exchange hands.

"I love you too." Mark said with a laugh.

"Thank you for being there." Derek said softly, sincerely.

"Anytime." Mark replied. "Hey… we'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow…" Derek said with a happy sigh.

"Until then… don't let her rest until she agrees to that surgery."

"Uh… Yeah…" Derek said with a nervous chuckle as he said his goodbye to Mark and flipped the phone closed. "As soon as we figure out where she went to…" He raised his eyebrows at Richie, who shook his head and sighed.

"GG is the boss, Daddy…" He shrugged. "Whatcha gonna do?"

"Yeah…she sure does think she's the boss, doesn't she…" Derek said with a soft chuckle as he let his son slide from his lap as they began to go through more boxes.

--------------------

Derek reached up for the string hanging from the ceiling in the hallway. Richie stood by and watched as he pulled carefully, sending the wooden board down, Derek caught the ladder that began to slide down as the attic door opened.

"What do you think is up there?" Richie asked.

"Cobwebs and dirt… maybe a treasure or two…" Derek said with a smile.

"Can I come up there too?" Richie asked, watching as Derek stepped up a couple steps and glanced into the attic, pulling the long string to turn on the light. He found the boards on the floor to be solid and looked down at his son.

"You can come up… but you have to be very careful and stay with me…"

"Okay…" Richie said excitedly as he watched Derek step down the ladder.

"You climb first… and daddy will be right behind you." He said softly as he watched Richie climb up the ladder carefully, one step at a time as he stood directly behind him. When they reached the top, Derek helped him climb over the edge, and instructed Richie to crawl forward a little so that he could get up into the attic. Derek slid into the attic and stood up carefully, looking around.

"This place is pretty cool…" Richie said, looking around at the various boxes, trunks, lamps and other treasures that were being stored up there.

"It is pretty cool… kind of creepy…" Derek said, with a smile.

"I was going to say that too…" Richie said with a giggle.

Derek walked across the floor, Richie behind him as they began to explore various boxes and objects, bringing them closer to the entryway so that they would be able to bring them downstairs.

"Daddy?" Richie asked as he glanced around. "Is that a treasure chest?" He asked as he pointed to a large wooden chest that was nestled in the corner.

"It looks like one, doesn't it?" He asked with a chuckle as he placed the lamp in his hand down.

"Can we open it?" He asked softly as he glanced to Derek and back to the chest again.

"Sure…" Derek said with a smile as he walked over to the chest. He pulled up a small stepstool that was nearby and let Richie in front of him as he reached across and popped open the lock on the front. Derek very slowly lifted the cover, the two boy's attention were immediately on its contents. Laying atop the contents of the trunk sat a large bag containing an article of clothing.

"Oh, its just more clothes…" Richie gave a frustrated sigh as he rolled his eyes and turned around, pouting that what he thought was a treasure turned out to be just an old dress in a bag.

"Richie…" Derek chuckled with a shake of his head.

"That's all that's up here… no cool toys or nothing…" Richie said as he crossed his arms over his chest and started to walk away as Derek lifted the bag, noticing the things beneath it.

"Richie… come here for a minute…" He said, grasping his son's arm before he was too far out of reach.

"What?" He sighed.

"Look at this…" Derek said as he handed his son a picture that was located within the trunk.

Richie picked up the picture and looked up at his father. "That's mommy…" He said with a soft smile.

Derek smiled, looking at his son's reaction to the picture, the gentle smile on his lips. His blue eyes looked up into his father's. "That's not mommy in that picture…" Derek chuckled.

"It looks like mommy…"

"It does… but you see how old the picture is? That couldn't possibly be mommy…" Derek said with a laugh. "That's your GG…"

"GG is mommy?" He asked, raising his eyebrow up, giving Derek an extremely confused look.

"No… no… GG is not mommy… oh God no…" Derek laughed. "GG is your mommy's mommy… so its only natural that she would look like her when she was your mommy's age, isn't it?"

"I guess…" Richie said, scrutinizing the picture a little further. "Does that mean that I'm going to look like you when I'm your age?" Richie asked.

"With any luck…" Derek laughed as he pulled his son to him, turning him around. He reached into the trunk and pulled another picture out. "Look at this…" Derek smiled as he showed Richie a picture.

"That's GG… holding a little baby…" Richie said with a smile. The corners of his eyes wrinkled and his nose crinkled as he looked to Derek.

"That little baby is your mama…" Derek said with a smile.

Richie gasped in surprise, his mouth opening. "Mama was a baby!" He exclaimed, laughing as Derek nodded. "Mama was a cute little baby…" He said, looking closely at the picture.

"She was a cute baby…" Derek smiled as he looked through a couple more pictures. He pushed the plastic bag on top to the side, noticing a bit of lace sticking out. "That… right there…" He pointed to the bag. "That is your GG's wedding dress…" Derek whispered.

"I bet she was real pretty in it." Richie said with a smile.

"Well… she does look like your Mama…" Derek winked as Richie giggled and handed Derek the picture. He peeked into the trunk.

"Oh… daddy… look…" He giggled as he pointed down into the trunk. "There's a teddy bear in here…" He said as he reached in, pulling the small worn bear from the depths of pictures and books, he held it out with two hands as he smiled over at Derek.

"It is a teddy bear…" Derek smiled softly as he looked at the worn teddy in his son's hands.

"He's old…" Richie coughed at the dust on him, his fur was rubbed away in all of the same spots as another familiar bear.

"Don't tell your mama that…" Derek chuckled as he held out a picture. In the picture was a little blonde haired girl, about two years old, holding tightly to the very teddy bear that his son was holding. She had a soft smile on her face, her eyes holding just a bit of fear, but an overall peace about her.

"This is mommy's teddy…" Richie whispered, glancing to the picture and back to the teddy in his hands.

"It is your mommy's teddy…" Derek said softly, swallowing a little hard as he tried to keep from letting the tear that was at the corner of his eye drop.

"What's he doing hiding up here in this treasure chest?" Richie asked, glancing to his father as he looked back to the teddy bear.

"Looks like he was waiting patiently to be found…" Derek said with a smile as he watched Richie grin up at him.

"We found you, Teddy bear…" Richie said with a laugh, pulling the bear into his arms for a big hug. "He says he likes hugs, Daddy…" Richie giggled.

"You make sure you give him plenty of hugs…" Derek chuckled as he watched his son hold tightly to the bear.

"What other treasures are in here?" Richie asked as he held the bear close to him and peeked into the trunk once again.

--------------------

Derek lifted another box from the attic, carrying it carefully down the ladder as he set it on the floor. He listened as he heard the door close downstairs. "Ellis?" He called. He didn't hear a reply, so he walked to the top of the stairs. "Ellis, is that you?" He called down.

"Yes." Her voice came from the front doorway as one of the bedroom doors opened and Richie stepped out.

"GG!" He said excitedly as he ran down the stairs as quickly as he could. "GG, you wouldn't believe the treasures we found!" He said excitedly as he grabbed her hand.

Derek walked down the steps slowly after his son, watching the little boy tug her toward the couch. "Richie, let your GG walk on her own…" Derek said as he watched Ellis walk toward the couch without looking up at him. "Where the hell did you go?" Derek asked.

"I went out." Ellis replied, refusing to look to him. She sat down on the couch and pulled her grandson into her lap.

"Yes… yes, I know you went out… where the hell did you go? You need to tell me when you're going out… I need to know these things…"

"I told you GG went out…" Richie said with a laugh.

"I told him to tell you… but thank you for treating me like a child, Derek… I was worried that I was getting old."

"You are making me very, very, angry…" Derek sighed as he tried to hold his emotions at bay.

"I'm sorry, Derek… but I came here to get things done. You're not my babysitter, I'm not your child… so don't worry about it."

"Where did you go?" Derek asked.

"I went to the ferries." Ellis said as she kissed her grandson's head.

"You went to the ferries…"

"Yes… I rode on one of the ferries… and I went to see a friend… do you feel better?" She asked angrily.

"Yes." Derek sighed as he turned around.

"Then I thought of jumping off…" She said as Derek turned around swiftly.

"What?"

"I thought you know… I'm going… to… Florida… anyway… I may as well jump in… I could always swim there…"

"Ellis…" Derek shook his head as he watched her shake her head.

"Then I thought of how irritating you were, and I figured that I'd probably get rid of my headache easier if I threw you overboard." She smirked as Derek scowled. "Wipe that look off your face and have a sense of humor…you only live once… enjoy it while you can." She said with a sigh.

"You're shaving the years off my life with your irritating advice." Derek said as he turned around towards the kitchen. "I'm making dinner…don't run away again…or I'll chain you to the dog house out back…" He said as he glanced back at her.

"There isn't a dog house out back." She said as she shook her head.

"Don't make me build a dog house out back and chain you to it…" He said as he opened the door to the kitchen and slipped inside, hearing Ellis' soft chuckle follow him.

--------------------

Marion entered the elevator holding Greyson in her arms. Since her conversation with Derek, she had been a nervous wreck and needed to see Meredith. She stepped from the elevator onto the surgical floor and walked slowly down the hallway towards the nurse's station.

"Can I help you?" One of the nurses asked without looking up.

"Yes, I'm looking for Meredith Shepherd…" Marion said softly as she held Greyson who was watching the doctors passing in the hallway.

"Doctor Shepherd… is…" The nurse said as she looked up at the board and over at the nervous woman standing before her. "Oh! Greyson…" She said with a smile.

"Hi, Nurse Michelle…" Greyson waved softly as he smiled.

"It isn't really an emergency, but if she's not busy, I'd like to talk to her…" Marion said with a smile.

"I'll page her." The nurse smiled as she lifted the phone. "So Greyson… what have you been up to? Trouble?"

"Never." Greyson smiled as he leaned his head on his Granny's shoulder.

A short man approached the counter, glaring over at Marion as he set a chart down. "What is this, a daycare center all of a sudden?" He said in an irritated tone as he looked at the little boy sitting down on the counter. Marion ignored his comment and waited patiently for Meredith.

"Is there something I can help you with, Ma'am? The waiting room is over there." He said in an irritated tone.

"I'm waiting for one of the surgeons." Marion said in a motherly tone, not fazed by the man's attempt to be intimidating.

"You can wait in one of the waiting rooms. This area is for doctors." He said with a frustrated tone.

"Doctor Hanna, this is Greyson Shepherd." The nurse said with a smile, nodding towards the little boy.

"Hi." Greyson said with a grin, his blue eyes sparkling as he smiled, waving his little hand.

"Am I supposed to know who that is?" He growled as he continued to write in his chart, refusing to look up.

The nurse and Marion exchanged looks and the nurse grimaced as Marion nodded and rolled her eyes.

"Ma'am… the waiting room… over there." He said, looking up at Marion, who had been to the hospital dozens of times, and never once been asked to move.

"I think it would be fine if I stay here, thank you."

"Do I need to call security?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Marion looked the man up and down as she lifted Greyson from the counter. "Your rudeness is uncalled for." She said angrily.

"You're being a stubborn old woman, and I don't think you know who you're talking to…"

"I don't think you know who you're talking to…" A voice came from behind them, watching as Doctor Hanna spun around.

Meredith was walking quickly down the hallway with Mark right behind her.

"Doctor Shepherd, I am going to need to see you in my office after that little display of insubordination earlier today, and if you don't mind, tell your nanny to take your child from the premises. This is no place for a child." He said as he crossed his arms over his chest angrily.

"I don't think I'll be visiting your office, Dr. Hanna." Meredith said as she reached out for her son. Marion lifted the little boy into his mother's arms and watched the young woman stand proudly before the man.

"Then I suppose that you won't mind being written up for this behavior." He said angrily.

"You're going to write me up?" Meredith laughed as she kissed her son. "I have done nothing wrong here.

"Yes, yes you have…"

"Yes… Yes you have…" Greyson said in a mocking tone as he watched the angry man address his mother.

"This is not a daycare, Dr. Shepherd."

"This is not a daycare, Dr. Shepherd." Greyson repeated.

"Tell him to stop that."

"Tell him to stop that…" Greyson said as he giggled.

"I am serious."

"I am serious." Greyson giggled.

"Doctor Hanna…" Meredith said as she smirked at her son's antics as Mark reached for the little one. "I just wanted to inform you that I'm going to be leaving town tomorrow for two weeks… I'm sure that you've already received the memo that the chief of staff has approved the time off. If you have any questions, you may want to ask him about it."

"You're still on the clock, Doctor Shepherd." He growled.

Meredith coughed into her hand. "Oh… oh, look at that… I think I'm getting a cold…" She shrugged. Meredith coughed again. "Looks like I'm going to have to call in sick for the rest of the day. Michelle… I don't have any surgeries scheduled today, do I?"

"No, Doctor Shepherd." The nurse said with a smirk as she watched the entire exchange.

"I'm looking pretty under the weather, aren't I, Doctor Sloan."

"Pale…" Mark nodded. "Very Pale…"

Meredith coughed again. "Michelle… I think I'm going to have to take the rest of the day off…"

"I'll put that down in the books, Doctor Shepherd." Michelle said as she watched Meredith cross her arms over her chest.

"Michelle… Dr. Sloan here is also going to have to call in sick… I think he has a fever…"

"Oh yes… chills all over…" Mark nodded as Greyson put his hand over Mark's forehead.

"Oh! You are burning up!" Greyson said as he said what his mother would exclaim whenever he had a fever.

"You hear that?" She said as she smirked at Mark. "We're both very sick… Dr. Sloan is calling in sick as well…" She said as she listened to Mark pretend to cough behind her, followed by a pretend Greyson cough.

"Doctor Shepherd, this is uncalled for."

"I'll tell you what's uncalled for, Doctor Hanna. What is uncalled for is you coming into this hospital without knowing anything about the inner workings of it. What is uncalled for, is you treating the doctors and nurses of this hospital as your personal slaves and punishing people based on their surnames. What is uncalled for, DOCTOR Hanna… is your abuse of power that will not be stood for in this hospital. A formal complaint has been filed, and with any luck… you'll be replaced before my mother returns to resume her position." Meredith growled as she turned swiftly, scooped her son from Mark's arm and grabbed Mark's hand as Marion followed after her as she pulled Mark towards the elevator with her.

------------

Evening had come in Seattle and Richie had fallen asleep on the couch as Derek read through a journal that he had found in the attic. He glanced over to Ellis as she flipped through a magazine and looked down as she looked back at him. "So are you going to tell me what's on your mind or what?" She asked, interrupting his thoughts as he looked over at her.

"I…" Derek sighed. "I think you're a stubborn ass." Derek said, matter-of-factly.

"I'm still your boss, Derek." She said sternly, though she had a half smirk on her face.

"I don't care, Ellis." Derek replied. "Because you won't be for long… because you want to die."

"I don't want… to die, Derek… but I'm going to."

"Okay." Derek sighed. "You're going to… and you could prevent it… but you won't."

"Derek, I'm fine with it…"

"Where did you go today?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "You shouldn't go out with a ticking time bomb in your brain."

"I don't need a lecture, Derek." She sighed as she flipped through the magazine.

"Ellis." Derek sighed.

"Hm…?"

"Tell me about you." Derek said in a soft tone. He watched her hesitate for a moment on the page she was looking at, and promptly lick her finger and flip another page. "Ellis…please?" Derek sighed.

"What do you want to know?" She asked as she looked up at him.

"I want to know…" He sighed as he tried to figure out how he was going to say what he wanted to say. "I want to know what… makes… how can you…"

"Complete sentences?" She asked with a smirk as he sighed a frustrated sigh.

"I want to know the real reason that you don't want Meredith here."

"Because she doesn't belong here." Ellis said, glancing up at him. "Did you tell her?"

"No." he lied, his eyes stern and serious as she stared into them for several moments, finally relenting, she looked down at her magazine.

"I don't want Meredith to come to Seattle… because there are a lot of things here that she is better off staying out of."

"Your affair with Richard?" Derek asked, watching as Ellis' eyes met Derek's swiftly. "You knew he was going to tell me."

"I figured he might." She sighed as she looked down again. Derek continued watching her, and she continued looking through the magazine. She knew he wasn't going to give in until she gave a little more. "Thatcher threw me out." Ellis said as she looked up at Derek.

"Thatcher…?"

"Meredith's father." Ellis said as she looked up at Derek.

"He threw me out when he found out about Richard… and to spite him, I took his daughter." She said, her voice shaking as she flipped quicker through the magazine, her fingers trembling. She paused as she sighed, wondering if she should go on, she expected him to be disgusted, frustrated, disappointed, but when she looked up into his eyes, she found nothing but kindness and concern. "I went to his house today… where he lives with his family… and… and I sat in the car for a few minutes… outside the house… I watched his wife leave the house to go somewhere, his daughter stopped in to visit him… and… and I wanted to go talk to him, but all I could do was sit in the car…oh my goodness, I'm a stalker…" She said as she covered her mouth with her hand, trying desperately to keep her tears at bay as she began to cry softly into her hand, her other hand over the magazine as she stare down at the pages blankly, trying not to cry.

Derek reached his hand out, moving closer to the chair, he reached for her hand. The moment she felt the warmth of his hand on hers, their eyes met. "It's a step in the right direction." Derek whispered.

"I can't do it, Derek… I'm not going to be able to…" She whispered, shaking her head.

"That's alright, Ellis…" Derek nodded. "Meri's a big girl… she's made mistakes… she knows that you've made mistakes…"

"But she didn't know that her father loved her, Derek. I took her away from her daddy… and I told her that he didn't want her… oh, I'm such a horrible person…" She whimpered, gasping a sob as she tried to control her tears.

"You're not a horrible person, Ellis." Derek said softly, truthfully. "You may have been a strong willed, angry person back then, but you're not angry anymore… but you're just as strong… stronger, even…" Derek whispered.

"Stop trying to get on my good side…" She whimpered as she sniffled into her hand. "It's not going to work…" She looked up into his eyes, seeing them smiling back at her.

"I'm already on your good side…" Derek said with a smirk as he squeezed her hand. "Once you're over there, there's no going back…"

"Oh, you think so…" She whimpered as she tried to recover from her tears.

"Oh, I know so…" He said softly as he watched her pull herself together.

"If I can't talk to him… if I can't…"

"We'll talk to Meri, Ellis…" Derek said with a sigh as he squeezed her hand. "She has a very good head on her shoulders… its very difficult to make her upset…"

--------------------

"It's not fair!" Meredith sobbed into Mark's chest, gripping his shirt tightly in her hands, she punched him in the chest as she cried.

"Meredith, you need to calm down…"

"No! I don't want to calm down!" She sobbed, tears rolling down her cheeks as Mark held her.

"Meredith, it's just a glass…"

"I know… I know, and I broke it…" She cried as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"You are a lunatic, woman…" Mark whispered as he held her, feeling her fingers pinch him. "Ow!"

"You called me a lunatic…" She whimpered as she continued to cry.

"You dropped a glass on the floor and broke it… and you started to cry hysterically… Meri…" Mark whispered as he shook his head and continued to hold her in his arms.

"Did I wake you up?" She whispered.

"Yes, you woke me up… We have to get up in three hours… what are you doing in here, anyway?"

"I was thirsty…" She whispered as he rocked her softly.

"Come on…" Mark said as he scooped her into his arms. "I don't need you getting shards of glass in your feet… I'm going to put you on the couch… and get you a glass of water… and then you can get your whiney ass up to bed…"

"I don't know how Cristina puts up with you…" Meredith sniffled as she held onto Mark as he carried her into the living room. He set her on the couch amid the blankets that had been set up for him to sleep in and he kissed the top of her head as he walked off into the kitchen.

He stepped into the kitchen and carefully swept up the remnants of the glass that she had dropped, carefully putting them into a paper bag and into the trash can. He then pulled a glass from the cupboard and poured a cool glass of water. He smiled softly as he walked into the living room and sighed as he looked to the couch. There she lay, cuddled in his blankets, her head on the pillow, the blanket up to her chin as she smile softly in her gentle slumber. "If you weren't so damn cute, I'd kick you off my couch…" He whispered as he shook his head, leaning down he put the glass of water on the coffee table and watched her sleep for a moment. He reached over and grabbed a throw pillow, and a blanket from the back of the couch, tossing them on the ground, he lay on the carpet, and covered himself up carefully. "Sweet dreams, Meri." He whispered as he closed his eyes again.

Just as he drifted off, he could have sworn he heard a giggle, and Meredith's voice as she whispered. "Sweet dreams, Mark."


	7. Reality and Requests

Chapter 6- Reality and Requests

Ellis woke to the sound of a hammer banging loudly downstairs and nearly fell off the bed as she got up and followed the sound down the hallway. "Derek?" She called, looking to the clock on the wall, she noted that it was four in the morning. "Derek?" She called again between banging. "Derek?"

"Yeah?" Derek's voice came from downstairs as the hammering stopped.

"What are you doing?"

"Fixing this door frame…" Derek replied.

"At four in the morning? Derek… Richie is trying to sleep… I am trying to sleep…"

"Oh." Derek said softly as he looked up the stairs at Ellis standing with her bathrobe draped around her. "Richie is sleeping with earplugs… I want to get this stuff done before you croak." He said with a smirk.

"Oh… you're hilarious…" She glowered at him. "And why is it so cold in here?" She asked as she shivered, feeling the cold air from the vent shooting through at full force.

"Oh… the air conditioning is on high…"

"Derek?"

"Are you going to be having the surgery?" He asked.

"No…" She said.

"Then we need it cold in here so your dead body doesn't stink up the place…" He said as he turned back to continue hammering.

"Derek!" She called down to him, only to hear the hammering becoming louder. "Derek, I'm serious!" She exclaimed as she stomped down the stairs. She swung around the corner and glared at Derek.

He looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"Stop!" She exclaimed as she approached him, she wrenched the hammer from his hand. "No more hammering!"

Derek grinned as his phone rang on the table. "Oh! Phone call…" He smirked as he walked to the table and lifted it up, watching Ellis glare at him as she walked to the thermostat to turn down the air conditioning.

He lifted the phone to his ear. "Shepherd…"

"Derek…"

"Mark?" He said, glancing to Ellis as he walked into the kitchen.

"I know what you're thinking…"

"Yes… that you shouldn't be on the phone…" Derek said softly as he glanced back and stepped out onto the back porch.

"You're thinking that we should be boarding the airplane…"

"Yes… Where are you?"

"We are at your house… and… Meredith won't stop…um…"

"Meredith won't stop what? What's wrong with Meredith? Is she okay?"

"She won't stop puking…" Mark said into the phone.

"She won't stop puking? What's wrong? Is she sick? Mark?"

"We have to take a later flight…"

"A later flight? Mark… are you going to be able to get here tonight?"

"We'll be there at eight o'clock…"

"Eight…"

"Yes…"

"Because you have to take a later flight…"

"Yes." Mark paused. "We'll be leaving later… when… the morning sickness is lessened…" He said softly.

"Morning sickness?!" Derek exclaimed. "I'm going to kill you!" Derek exclaimed.

"What!? I didn't do this!" Mark exclaimed.

"Let me talk to my wife…"

"Derek…she's kind of parked in front of the toilet…"

"Then give her the phone…" Derek said with a frustrated sigh as he listened on the line. He heard Mark talking and he could hear Meredith's voice, and then Mark said something again. "Just let me talk to her!" He called into the phone. He then heard the phone being passed.

"Der…" Her voice was soft, almost as if she were crying.

"Meri…" He whispered.

"Der…" She whimpered.

"You're… sure its…"

"I made Mark get me a test…"

"I'm sure he enjoyed that…bastard… I'm going to kill him…" He whispered, listening carefully as her breath revealed a small laugh.

"Why?"

"For doing this to you…" Derek whispered. "Goddamned bastard…"

"Derek…" She whispered in a soft, humored tone.

"He put the idea in your head…"

Meredith giggled as she leaned against the wall in the bathroom. "Derek…" She giggled.

"That's right… you heard me right…the Immaculate suggestion…" Derek said with a smile.

He listened to her giggle and his heart lifted at the sound. "Are you…?"

"Ecstatic." Derek grinned.

"Really?" She whimpered.

"I'll show you when you get here…" Derek replied. "Just get here…" He whispered.

"I threw up on Mark." She whispered.

"Good… the bastard…"

"We'll be there tonight…"

"Fly carefully…I love you… all of you…" He smiled.

"We all love you… all of you…"

"Oh… I'm sure that all of me is the reason that you're sitting on the bathroom floor and not in a plane…"

"Oh, hush…" She giggled. "Take care of things…"

"Oh, I'll take care of it…" He laughed as he felt the lump in his throat. "I miss you, Meri."

"Miss you…" She whispered as she closed the phone sighing with a contented smile, the sound of his voice echoing in her head.

--------------------

Derek had spent most of the day packing boxes, piling them in various places through the house as he moved as much from upstairs down. Richie was watching television as Ellis sat reading a journal as Derek stepped down the stairs. He glanced at the clock and smiled when he noted the time, glad that Meredith would be there soon. "So…" Derek said as he watched Ellis look over at him. "Are you going to have the surgery?" He asked for umpteenth time, grinning at the glare that he received.

"No." She said, noticing the object in Derek's hand. "Why do you have my suitcase?"

"Oh…" Derek said as he swung it on top of the boxes of other belongings, he glanced to Ellis. "I'm packing it." He smirked.

"You're packing it? Derek…" She shook her head.

"Sorry… dead people only get one set of clothes." He said as he shrugged.

"Derek… you're going to be the only dead person around here…"

"Who is dead?" Richie asked, glancing to Ellis.

"No one is dead…" Ellis replied, turning her attention back to Derek. "Put the suitcase back upstairs."

"Nope… So… that's what you're going to be wearing, huh?" He asked, nodding his head.

"Derek…" Ellis growled as he just smirked and walked away towards the kitchen. Ellis sighed as she listened to Derek in the kitchen. She looked back to her journal and continued reading as she sighed.

Suddenly, the room went black as all power to the house was turned off.

"Oh no!" Richie exclaimed. "Daddy?"

"Its alright…" Derek said from the kitchen. "Everything is alright…"

"Derek, what are you doing?" Ellis asked as she listened to him stumbling around the kitchen.

"Everything is A-OK!" Derek called again.

"Daddy! The TV turned off!"

"Everything is going to be just fine…" Derek's voice came from the kitchen area as he walked through the doorway. "Is everyone alright?"

"Yes..." Richie called from the darkness.

"Derek… flip the circuit breaker… its in the…"

"Dead people don't need lights…" Derek said as they heard a snap from across the room, followed by the sight of a glow stick lighting up.

"Wow! What's that!"

"Derek!"

"It's a glow stick…" Derek said with a grin as he tossed it in Richie's direction, who snatched it up and brought it to his face.

"Awesome!" He exclaimed.

"Derek… turn the lights back on, now!"

"You want to be in a coma… thought I'd bring the coma to you…" Derek said, snapping another glow stick. "Heads up!" He exclaimed as he tossed a glow stick at Ellis, smacking her in the shoulder with it.

"Derek!"

"I said, 'Heads up'…" He shrugged as he snapped another glow stick and walked towards the couch.

"Derek…!" Ellis growled as she stood up and tried to maneuver towards the kitchen, holding the glow stick in her hand as she walked slowly.

"I wouldn't bother, Ellis… I have the main switch in my pocket…"

"I want the power on, NOW!" She growled.

"We're going to tell stories by glow light…" Derek said with a creepy voice, listening to his son giggle as Ellis stood halfway to the kitchen, glaring at Derek.

"I'm glaring at you…" She said angrily.

"Good thing it's dark… don't want to get the stink eye…" Derek said, glancing to Richie. He reached over and pulled the glow stick. "Glow sticks don't go in your nose…" He chuckled as he listened to Richie giggle.

"I want the lights on now…" She growled.

"There are no lights in Florida…" Derek said as he watched.

"Derek!"

"You know… you keep saying my name… the neighbors are going to get the wrong idea…" He winked. "I'm winking at you…" He laughed, and was promptly greeted by a flying glow stick. "Uh… that's it… you can't behave, you don't get a glow stick…" He said as he handed the stray one to Richie. Ellis was quiet for a moment, the house was dark and she and Derek were in the middle of a silent, darkness filled stare down. Suddenly, the house was filled with the flash of light of headlights as a car pulled into the driveway.

"Mommy!" Richie exclaimed as he grabbed his two glow sticks tightly and ran towards the door.

"Derek…" Ellis whispered as she watched him twirl the glow stick in his hand.

"You left me no choice." Derek said as he swallowed hard, his stomach knotting at the silence as Ellis turned and moved through the darkness by memory, making it to the stairs, she stomped her way to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her, just as Richie swung open the front door.

Derek stood up as Richie ran out onto the porch. "Richie, don't…" Derek called as he walked quickly towards the door, walking out onto the porch after his son who was bouncing up and down, clapping his hands. "Mom-ME! Mom-ME!" He exclaimed as the doors to the cars started to open.

"DADDY!" The sound of Greyson squealing from within the car was loud and excited as Derek smiled as he stepped down the stairs after Richie, who ran down towards the car. Derek watched as Mark climbed from the driver's seat and the driver's side opened as Richie flung himself at the person inside. Mark waved quickly as he opened the back door and unlocked Greyson's seatbelt. Derek was walking down the sidewalk and held his arms out when he saw his little boy come running down the sidewalk as quickly as he could. "DADDY, DADDY!" Greyson screamed as Derek scooped him up in his arms and twirled him around.

"Oh my gosh, I missed you!" Derek exclaimed as Greyson giggled wildly as he wrapped his arms around his father's neck.

"Oh, Daddy, I missed you so much! I missed you so, so, so, so, so much!" He exclaimed as Derek squeezed his son, continuing to walk towards the car.

"How was the flight?" Derek asked Mark, who opened his mouth to answer, but Greyson beat him to it.

"Mommy puked on the plane lady!" He exclaimed.

"Must we tell everyone about that?" Meredith asked as she looked up at Derek, her older son's arms wrapped firmly around her neck as she watched her husband's brighten.

He crouched down, his son's arms still wrapped around his neck as he held him with one arm and touched her hand with the other, looking down at him. "Hi." He said softly as he looked into her eyes as Richie continued to hold her tightly.

"Hi." She whispered, tilting her head, her eyes looking deeply into his as he smiled softly, running his thumb delicately over her hand.

"You're beautiful." He whispered, squeezing her hand.

"I missed you." She replied, leaning down slightly as Derek met her halfway and kissed her lips softly.

Derek leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes capturing her soul for a split second as he smiled. "Let me take you inside."

"Yes!" Richie said with an excited grin as he slid from his mother's arms. "We have glow sticks! Daddy says that there are no lights in Florida!" He exclaimed as he handed Meredith one of the glow sticks in his hand, turned and ran to give Mark a hug.

"No lights in Florida?" Meredith asked, her brow furrowed as she glanced to Derek.

"Long story…let's go inside…" He whispered as he grabbed her hand and helped her from the car, draping his arm around her shoulder as his son refused to let go of his daddy's neck and they all made their way towards the house together.

They walked up the steps of the porch and Derek led them to the front door. Meredith stopped for a moment and stared at the door. Derek turned to her and pulled his arm from her shoulder as she stared ahead. "Meri?"

Meredith didn't respond, only stared straight ahead at the door. "Come on, Mommy… we have a surprise for you!" Richie exclaimed as he ran to the door and grabbed the doorknob, swinging it wide open.

Meredith paused, her eyes widened slightly as Derek watched her. She was standing before the door and refused to move for several moments. "Meri? Are you alright?" He whispered.

Meredith's eyes flashed to his and she seemed to release a breath. "I… I'm alright…"

"Let's go puke-asaurus rex…" Mark teased from behind her as he gave her a slight nudge. "You're going to have to face it sooner or later." He said, glancing to Derek, who was staring at her with a concerned look.

"Meri…" Derek whispered.

"Don't coddle her…" Mark said, nudging her again as Richie stood in the doorway, watching the events in front of him.

"What's wrong, Mommy?"

"Where is she?" Meredith whispered.

"She's upstairs in her room." Derek replied.

"She's… she's alright?" Meredith asked.

"She's fine… ornery and angry as always…" Derek said with a smirk.

"Derek…" Meredith shook her head. "Be nice…"

"Oh, Meri… she likes to be teased…" Derek said with a smile. "If she didn't, she wouldn't be such a stick in the mud… though she's not too thrilled that I told you… and she…"

"She didn't know I was coming?" Meredith asked, taking a step backwards.

"Um…"

"Derek!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Meri… I couldn't tell her… I…"

"I can't believe you!" She exclaimed as she stepped into the house quickly. "Why is it so dark in here?" She asked while she tried to switch on the lights.

"I… I um…"

"Derek?"

"Daddy took the thingy so we could play with glow sticks, mommy… isn't that fun?" Richie asked.

"I want a glow stick…" Greyson said to Derek as he watched his brother.

"I'll get you a glow stick in a…"

"Derek… why is it so dark in here?"

"I… I took the fuse from the fuse box… I pulled the main switch… I wanted to…"

"He wanted GG to know that there's no lights in Florida…" Richie exclaimed.

"No lights in Florida… there it is again… what Is he talking about?"

"That's where GG is going! GG is going to Florida… no little kids are allowed there and she cant send gifts… I told her I didn't want her to go to Florida, but she won't change her mind… so Daddy is showing her what Florida is like…" Richie explained as Derek shook his head, knowing that the more his son talked, the deeper trouble he was going to be in.

"Florida?" Mark laughed out loud as Derek scowled at him.

"Turn the lights on right now!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Meri… I was just trying to…"

"Torture my mother! Derek! She's sick! You should be treating her better than this! What were you thinking?" She exclaimed.

"Let me turn the lights on so that we can talk about this…" Derek said quickly as he walked towards the kitchen to put the fuse back in the box and turn the lights on. As soon as he stepped into the kitchen away from Meredith, Mark, and Richie, he heard Greyson's voice from his arms.

"You're in trouble, huh daddy?"

"Yep… Some things never change…" Derek said as he popped the fuse into the box.

"Nope…" He said with a giggle.

"Derek!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Some things never change, Daddy…" Greyson giggled as he hugged his daddy again as the lights of the house turned on.

--------------------

Derek stepped back into the living room with Greyson, the lights now illuminating the house and Derek finally was able to get a good look at his wife standing across from him. He lifted his son to the ground and moved quickly across the room.

"Don't… don't come near me…" She muttered as she watched the look in his eyes as he stepped closer to her. She held her hand out to him. "Derek… don't come any…" Before she could say anything else, his lips were on hers. She didn't back away or push him away, only invited him in farther as he pressed his lips against hers, pushing her backwards slightly against the now closed door. He pulled away and she found that her hands were locked on his shirt, her eyes burning into his. "What was I saying?"

"You were saying that you love me…" Derek whispered, kissing her lips softly. "You were saying that you missed me…"

"She was saying that you are going to get your ass kicked for pissing off the chief…" Mark muttered

"Yes!" Meredith said, releasing his shirt, pushing him backwards. "That's what I was saying!"

"Aw… Mark!" Derek exclaimed.

"She puked on me!" Mark exclaimed.

"So you sold me up the river because she puked on you…" Mark said, shaking his head. "I see how it is…" He laughed.

"It was a lot of puke…" Mark nodded.

"Can we please stop talking about puke?" Meredith whispered, looking into her husband's eyes. "Where's my mother? Upstairs?"

"She's upstairs…" Derek whispered.

"I'm going to go up and talk to her…" She whispered.

"Go on up… talk to her… talk some sense into her…" Derek whispered as he kissed her softly on the nose.

"She's not going to listen to me…"

"But you're here… and I'll listen to you… and I love you… and I missed you…"

"And now she can puke on you…" Mark mumbled.

Derek turned his head towards Richie. "Richie… please show your Uncle Mark and Greyson the bedrooms upstairs… maybe you can show him some of the toys that GG bought for you."

"Okay!" Richie exclaimed as he ran over to Mark and grabbed his hand. "Let's go, Uncle Mark!"

"Oh, so now I'm the Manny?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I think I'm starting to feel a little pukey…" Meredith mumbled.

"Let's go, boys!" Mark said as he held Richie's hand and scooped up Greyson into his arms, and walked up the stairs with them.

"How are you feeling?" Derek whispered.

"I'm okay…" She whispered, leaning her head against his chest, her hands playing with the buttons on his shirt as she felt his arms wrap around her. "I missed you…" She whimpered in his arms as he kissed her head.

"I missed you." He whispered, squeezing her tightly as he held her just a little longer before she went upstairs to face her mother.

--------------------  
Derek held Meredith for several moments as they listened to the boys upstairs with Mark. She pressed her forehead against his and smiled softly. "You're brave…" He whispered.

"I don't know what to say to her." Meredith whispered.

"Tell her what you're feeling…" Derek replied.

"I… I don't know what I'm feeling, Derek…" She whispered as he kissed her lips softly.

"You're feeling…" He said softly, his voice deepening as his eyes lightened.

"Oh, I'm not feeling that…" She giggled softly, the tears in her eyes making the light from the room send them twinkling as she looked into his eyes. "Okay… maybe a little…" She said with a giggle as she leaned up and kissed him softly. "I love you."

"I love you…" He replied, his eyes twinkling in the light. "Do you want me to walk you upstairs?"

"Sure…" She whispered as she grasped his hand softly and turned away from him, squeezing his hand, she walked towards the stairs and up the steps slowly. Halfway up, she stopped. "I used to live here." She whispered.

"I know that."

"When I was a little girl, I lived here…" She whispered.

"I know…" He laughed.

"I was a cute little girl…"

"Adorable…"

"And I lived here…"

"Meri… are you stalling?"

"No."

"I'm still cute…" She whispered as she continued to walk up the stairs, tugging his hand.

"Adorable…" He laughed as he followed her up the stairs, nearly bumping into her as she stopped at the top of the stairs.

"Which room is she in?" She whispered.

"That one…" He nodded towards the door on the end.

"That one?"

"Mmm…" He nodded.

"She's in there, huh?" Meredith nodded towards the door. Derek laughed and reached over to knock on the door.

"Go away…" Ellis' voice came from within the room.

"She said go away…" Meredith whispered as she started to turn towards the stairs. "We'll have to try later…"

"Meri, no…" Derek shook his head as he knocked on the door.

"Didn't you hear me?" Ellis asked.

"Didn't we hear her?" Meredith whispered.

"Alright, Mrs. Avoidance and her daughter Rambly Jane… let's talk…" Derek said as he pushed the door open and softly pushed his wife into the room against him, closing the door behind them.

--------------------

Meredith pushed slightly against Derek as she watched her mother sitting on the bed. It had only been a couple of days, but she could tell that her mother was looking thinner, paler, and sicker. She could feel her stomach wrenching, churning and knotting as she looked at her mother as she stood up and faced the two of them. "Derek… she doesn't want to talk…"

"We're going to talk." Derek replied. "I've done enough of the no talking… it's time for the talking." He replied. "Ellis… talk."

"Derek… leave." Ellis said, glancing up at him as he raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

"I said leave…" She replied. "Meredith… stay… Derek… go."

"But…"

"Close your mouth, turn on your heel and walk out the door." Ellis nodded toward the door as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Ellis, I told Meredith that I'd…"

"Go!" Ellis exclaimed as Meredith turned around to face him.

"I'll be fine… We'll be fine… thank you." She whispered as she leaned up and kissed him softly.

"You're sure?"

"Derek…" Meredith said with a sigh as she listened to her mother growl beside her.

"Okay… I'll go… but only because you told me to…" Derek said to Meredith as he glanced to Ellis.

"You stick that tongue out at me Shepherd, and you're going to be looking for a new way to talk." Ellis said sharply as Derek smirked and turned to walk out of the room.

As the door closed, Meredith turned to her mother. Ellis turned her back on Meredith. "Mom." Meredith said softly.

"I don't want to hear it, Meredith. You're not supposed to be here."

"If you didn't want to hear it, then why did you only make Derek leave?"

"Because he's annoying." Ellis said as she turned her head to face her daughter. "I don't know how you put up with him." She said with a sigh.

"Mom, why didn't you tell me?" Meredith asked quickly.

"Meredith… what did I say?"

"You said you didn't want to talk about it… but I don't accept that, I won't accept that… I have two children that won't accept that as an answer."

"Don't throw them into this." Ellis said quickly. "That's all I've heard since he's found out is about his children… what about me? What if I want to die? Why can't I die?"

"Because too many people love you!"

"No one really loves me… they love what I've become, Meredith… no one knows who I am… no one… Hell, I don't even know who I am." Ellis snapped.

"I want to know who you are." Meredith sighed.

"What good would that do you, Meredith? What earthly good would it do you if you know who your mother is? I'm an empty shell, Meredith… I'm a walking, screaming, yelling, berating, angry, hateful surgeon."

"You're a genius." Meredith replied.

"I am no such thing." Ellis sighed.

"You are, Mom… You're a mother… a surgeon, a grandmother… you're the best… in everything that you do."

"Then I can be good at dying." Ellis replied, walking towards the bathroom.

"You are not going to die!" Meredith shouted, grabbing her mother's shoulder.

"Don't you touch me like that!" Ellis screamed as she turned around. "Who do you think you are?"

"I am your daughter… and I am the best at what I do… and I am Ellis Grey's daughter… and I get what I want…do you hear me? I am strong, I am smart, and I am right! You will not die! YOU WILL NOT DIE!" Meredith screamed. "NEVER! YOU WILL NEVER DIE! I WILL FOLLOW YOU AROUND AND RESSUCITATE! I WILL OPERATE ON YOU WITH A FORK AND A KNIFE IF I HAVE TO! DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL NOT DIE!" Meredith screamed, her breathing erratic as she stared intensely at her mother, her face red with anger, her cheeks wet with tears as she watched a half smirk on her mother's face. "What are you… what are you smiling at?" She asked in a whimper.

"Do you feel better, Meredith?" Ellis asked.

"A little…" She whimpered. "Mommy… don't do this…" Meredith whimpered, shaking her head as she watched her mother falter slightly. "Please… please don't do this… please… there are dozens of surgeons that can do this surgery for you… dozens of them… its been done… it's been successful… let one of them do it… let one of them do it… if you want to die… at least let them try… please… I can't live with myself if you don't try… please… please try… for me… for Derek… for your grandsons… for your third grandchild…" She whispered, touching her belly. "Please…" She whimpered.

"Meredith…" Ellis shook her head.

-------------

Derek stood outside the door, pacing back and forth in the hallway, tempted to push his ear against the door and listen. He had heard Meredith screaming at her mother, he had heard the calm and quiet in the room as well. He waited for a long time, nearly a half hour as he paced in the hallway. He waited patiently, and eventually his patience was rewarded when the door opened. Meredith walked from the room, her face was pale, and her eyes hollow as she closed the door behind her.

"Meri…"

"She…"

"Meri, what's going on… is she alright?"

"She said… she said she'd have the surgery…" Meredith whispered.

"She did?" Derek smiled. "That's great!" He said happily. "That's great!"

"No… Derek…" Meredith whispered as she pushed him slightly, feeling him back against the wall. "You don't understand…" She whispered, looking up into his eyes.

"What?"

"She'll only have the surgery… if you perform it." Meredith whispered, her eyes sad and lost, her head shaking softly as she watched her husband's smile disappear.

--------------------  
Derek stared at his wife for a moment, his eyes wide with fear, anxiety, and a small bit of anger. "Derek?" Meredith whispered.

"No." Derek whispered as he shook his head softly. His voice was soft, no more than a whisper. "I'm sorry…" He said.

"Derek?" Meredith said, tilting her head. "Derek… what did…"

"No, Meri…" Derek said as he swallowed hard, his eyes flashing to the door and back to his wife's curious eyes. "No, Meri… I'm… I'm sorry… but… I can't." Derek replied as he turned and walked quickly for the stairs.

"Derek!" She called after him as he started to walk quickly down the stairs. "Derek, get back here! What do you mean, no?" She called.

Derek stopped on the stairs, Meredith nearly ran into him. "I mean no… I'm sorry… I mean no, no I can't do the surgery… no… I won't do the surgery, no." He shook his head as he started to turn again, feeling her hand on his shoulder, he turned around again.

"What do you mean, no? What do you mean you can't do it? You've been trying for days! Since you found out, haven't you? You've been torturing her… following her around, waking her up in the middle of the night to ask her… you are the one that convinced her to have the surgery… you're a brilliant surgeon… you can do the surgery!"

"No, Meredith… No, I won't do the surgery… I won't…" He replied as he pulled her hand from his arm as he walked quickly down the stairs. He heard her following him and swallowed hard.

"Derek! Wait!"

"No, Meri… no more discussion. I will not do the surgery… I will find another surgeon… I'll… I'll help her find another surgeon… but I will not be the one performing on her."

"She wants you!"

"I don't want that responsibility, Meredith!" Derek shouted. "One false move, your mother is dead! Not emotionally dead, not psychologically dead, but dead-dead… Worm food dead! Wings and halo and harp dead! DEAD!" Derek exclaimed. "Take it as being selfish… but I'm not about to kill my mother in law… goddamned fucking sadist…" Derek growled as he slammed into the kitchen.

--------------------

Meredith followed him into the kitchen, his words stinging her mind as she tried not to get upset. "Derek… please…"

"No." Derek said, glancing to her, his eyes filled with a deep passionate anger like she had never seen before. "Absolutely, positively not! No!" Derek growled, slamming his fist down onto the counter. Meredith jumped at the sound of his fist hitting the counter. She had never seen him so angry. "She is a selfish, selfish, hateful person! Selfish and hateful!" Derek shouted.

"Derek… please…" Meredith whimpered. "Please calm down…"

"Calm down? Calm down? You want me to calm down? I will NOT calm down! I am sick of the goddamned fucking mind games that woman plays with me! I am tired of the shit she puts you through! I am tired of the shit she puts me through! I am sick of the goddamned shit she is going to put our children through! THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS!"

"Derek… the boys are in the house…" Meredith whispered, touching his hand, feeling him pull it away quickly as he started to pace back and forth.

"Stupid! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!" He shouted as he paced. "I swear! I am going to climb up those stairs and kill her myself! But that's what she wants! So why the hell should I be the one to do God's dirty work? Goddamned fucking sadistic bitch!" Derek shouted. Before he could say another word, he felt the sharp angry sting of Meredith's hand across his face as he took a step backward in complete shock. "You hit me!" He exclaimed, his hand on his cheek as he looked at her in shock.

"I slapped you… I did not hit you… there is a difference… and if you don't stop yelling and screaming and carrying on, I'm going to punch you…" She growled. "Listen… You're obviously not in any mood to be talking about this right now… it's a shock… its anger inducing… I get it… but there is no reason for you to extend the vocabulary of your children, or the neighborhood's children to include words like 'goddamned fucking sadistic bitch'… alright? Just… Just…. Stay right here.." She said as she turned and walked out of the kitchen.

"Meri, where are you…?"

"Hush…" Meredith said, pointing at him as she walked to the stairs. "Mark!" She called up the stairs as she glared at the kitchen door opening. "What part of 'stay right there' didn't' you understand?" She asked as he looked at her with a sad expression. "Mark…" She called again. The door opened to one of the bedrooms upstairs and after a moment, Mark appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Yeah?" He asked, watching the angry woman below him.

"Get him out of here, please…" She said with a frustrated sigh.

"What?"

"Derek… just… take him for a ride… to a bar… to the ferry boats… I don't care… just… Just get him out of the house for a little while please…" Meredith said, putting her hand over her forehead as she took a deep breath and slowly released it.

"So… you're done with me watching the little ones… you want me to babysit the big one now?" He asked with a smirk.

"Yes…" She said, shaking her head as she tried not to smile. "Please…"

"I'll be right down…" Mark replied.

"Thank you…" Meredith said as she moved towards her husband.

"Meri… I'm… I'm sorry… I…"

"Just… hush for a second, please…" Meredith said softly. "Go with Mark… you've been dealing with her and Richie non stop since you got here… you need to relax… you need to think about this… and you have to be thinking clearly…" She whispered as she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest.

"I can't do this, Meri…" He shook his head as he buried his nose in her hair, kissing her head. "I can't do it…" He whimpered.

"We'll talk when you get home… just go hang out with your friend…" She whispered as she glanced to the stairs as Mark came down them quickly.

"Alright, let's rock and roll…" He said with a smirk.

"Go on…" Meredith nodded towards Mark. "Go be with your friend for a little while…"

"Meri…" He whispered.

"Derek, I'm serious… if I don't get some alone time with my boys, I'm going to cry…"

"Fine… behave…" He said as he kissed her softly.

"I should be saying that to you two…" She said with a sigh as she watched him throw her a sad, concerned look as the two men slipped out the door together, leaving her suddenly feeling very alone as she stared at the closing door.

Meredith walked to the end of the stairs and looked up the unfamiliar, yet strangely familiar steps. She closed her eyes tightly as she took a deep breath. "Greyson… Richie?" The boys were silent, and she smiled and shook her head as she climbed the steps to the bedroom. "Boys… where are you?" Meredith called as she stopped at the room with the light on and opened the door.

"Mommy…" Greyson's voice was sweet and happy as he looked up to his mother as she entered the room.

"Hey baby… what are you guys up to?"

"Richie was showing me his toys…" Greyson said with a smile. "Look, mommy…" He said, holding up a car. "Richie's got a car…"

"Wow…"

"GG got me all these neat toys, Mama… she said it'd keep me out of daddy's hair…" He giggled. "I'm not in daddy's hair…"

"No… you're never in daddy's hair…" Meredith smiled, watching her son's smile as he looked back down at his toys. "Did you tell GG thank you?" She asked as she sat down on the bed and looked down at the toys.

"Yes." Richie said as he stood up and walked over to his mother. "I missed you a ton, Mommy." He said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I missed you, baby…" Meredith whispered.

"Did you miss me, Mommy?"

"Where did you go, silly boy?" Meredith asked, watching his inquisitive look.

"I am right here…" He giggled.

"Well then… if you're not in my sight… I miss you…" She laughed as the little boy stood up and ran to his mother, wrapping his arms around her too.

"Mama?" Richie asked as he sighed. The look of concern was evident on his face. "Why were you and daddy yelling? Is he in trouble? Am I in trouble? Did GG make daddy sad again?"

"Everything is just fine… Uncle Mark took daddy for a ride in the car." She whispered as she hugged the boys.

"I don't like it when you guys yell…" Richie whispered.

"Yeah… it's loud… and it can make you sad, I know… but… doesn't it make you feel a little better when you yell a little bit?" She asked with a sly smirk.

Richie looked into his mother's eyes and smiled softly. "Yeah… I guess you're right…" He laughed.

"Daddy was just a little angry… not at anyone in particular, but just frustrated… he just needs some time to cool down…"

"Daddy's not mad at me, right?" Greyson asked.

"Nope… he's just upset about something else… something that little boys don't have to worry about."

"It's a big boy thing…"

"It's a big boy thing… and hopefully those two big boys can talk and work things out…" Meredith whispered. "Hey… what do you two say we get into our pajamas and get ready for a story? Then we can get snuggled into bed… Mommy is so tired from her plane ride…"

"So is Greyson!" Greyson exclaimed with a giggle as he slid from his mother's arms and skipped toward the door. "Can I go see GG?"

"Let's go see GG after we get our pjs on…"

"Okay! I have to go get my pack-pack…" Greyson exclaimed as he swung open the door and took off running out the door.

Richie looked up at his mother and smiled a little. "Do you think he forgot Snuggle bear was here?" he whispered.

"I'm sure he'll remember by bed time…" Meredith giggled as she kissed her son's cheek. "I'm going to go change and help your brother… You get your jammies on…" She whispered as she kissed his nose.

"Okay…" He smiled. "I missed you, Mama…"

"I missed you too, buddy…" Meredith said as she stood up and ruffled her son's hair before leaving the room after her littlest one.

--------------------

Meredith changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt and made sure Greyson was cleaned up and in his pajamas as the little boy reached for his back pack with the story book that he had brought. "This one, Mommy?" He asked with a smile.

"That's a perfect story…" She said with a smile as she lifted her little boy up, feeling the soft fuzz from the fleece pajamas he was wearing rub against her skin as she breathed in his little boy scent. She walked up the stairs as he rested his head on her shoulder, his hair was getting longer, so when lay his head down, it pushed into her face. She smiled at her yawning little one as she peeked into the room Richie was in. "All set?" She asked as she watched Richie nod. He jumped up and ran over to her, grabbing her hand. She walked the two of them towards Ellis' room. "Knock…" She whispered to Richie, who knocked lightly.

"Yes?" Ellis' voice came from within.

"GG… Me and Greyson wanna come in and say goodnight…" Richie called, looking up at his mother with a sly grin.

"Well come on in then…" Ellis called as Meredith nodded her head to Richie's inquiring stare and he opened the door.

Richie ran into the room while Meredith set Greyson to the floor to allow him inside too. "GG!" Greyson exclaimed happily as he jumped onto the bed where Ellis was sitting up reading a book.

"Greyson…" She smiled softly as she pulled her reading glasses off and set them on the table next to the bed, welcoming her youngest grandson's hugs.

"I missed you so much, GG! I missed you so much!" Greyson exclaimed as he hugged his grandmother tightly, squeezing tears from his eyes as he hugged her. "Mama yelled at the bad man at work…" He blurted out, looking at Meredith.

"Grey.." Meredith warned.

Ellis looked to Meredith and Greyson covered his mouth with his hand. "Oops!" He exclaimed.

"I think we can talk about that later…" Ellis said as she watched her daughter's sheepish expression. "So… you came in to say goodnight to GG… you said goodnight… I will see you two in the morning, right?" She asked as Richie gave her a hug.

"Nope…" Richie said with a sly grin.

"We're cuddling…" Meredith said as she took a deep breath and stepped forward, climbing onto the bed.

"We're what?" Ellis asked as Meredith handed the book to Richie and climbed into the bed, pulling the blankets up onto her, she settled her son between Ellis and herself as she leaned against her mother's shoulder.

"Cuddling…" Richie said as he opened the book.

"Cuddling?" Ellis asked as Greyson turned in her arms and pushed his body against her as he positioned himself in order to see the book.

"Cuddling…" Greyson whispered.

"I don't believe I've ever cuddled before…" Ellis said as she glanced to her daughter.

"Just relax… there'll be plenty of time to be stiff and cold when you're dead…" Meredith whispered, getting a sly look from her mother.

"You two were made for one another…" She grunted.

"I thought so…" Meredith smiled as she laughed nervously. "Cuddling is good… cuddling is very good…it's a support thing… Cristina and I cuddle… so girls do it together… nothing to be weirded out about.…" She said as she watched Richie open the book.

"I'm not really as… disturbed about the cuddling thing, as much as I am about the fact that you do it with other women… seemingly on a frequent basis." Ellis replied.

"Richie… start the story before GG starts weirding me out…"

"Don't weird her out, GG…" Richie replied, giggling when Meredith and Ellis laughed as he started to tell the story from his favorite picture book.

--------------------

Derek and Mark stepped into the nearly empty bar. They had barely said two words to one another in the car and when they did speak to one another, it was in a grunt or a sigh that neither could interpret. They sidled up to the bar and ordered their drinks, taking in the quiet and friendly ambiance of the bar, despite the dim lighting and dark wooden paneling. "Looks like you guys get a pretty tame bunch around here…" Mark remarked as the bartender returned with their drinks, his eyes roaming the bar, finding a few friendly people talking while sitting in booth here or there, and the occasional glance that he would return with a wink.

"Most of our customers are from the hospital across the street. Alcoholic doctors… every city has one…" the bartender replied.

"With the rain in Seattle, I'm sure you're an alcoholic, a doctor or both." Mark laughed as he took his drink and sipped from it, glancing to his friend who had already drank his down and set the glass back on the bar. "Derek…"

"What? I'm thirsty…" He grumbled as he slid the glass back to the bartender. "I'll have a double…" He nodded toward the glass. "Neat."

"Derek… come on… what went on down there? There was a lot of freaking yelling out there…"

"Good news…" Derek smirked a sarcastic smile as he held up his newly filled glass.

"What?"

"Ellis is going to have the surgery." He said as Mark clanked glasses with him. "Bad news." He said as Mark was just about to sip, taking a small mouthful of drink into his mouth. "She wants me to do the surgery…" Derek replied.

"What!?" Mark spat, the bar now covered with his drink as he glanced up to the glaring bartender. "Sorry…" he coughed as he grabbed the towel that the bartender tossed to him as he glanced to Derek. "What? She wants you to perform the surgery? That's nuts! You can't perform the surgery!"

"No… no I can't… and she knows that…" Derek sighed. "So… you're in agreement, huh? Ellis Grey is a sadistic pain in the ass…" He said as he held his glass up to Mark as Mark smirked back at him.

"I'll drink to that!" A voice came from behind them as another person sat down at the bar.

Derek turned swiftly as Mark glanced suspiciously at the man behind them. "Richard!" Derek exclaimed, holding his hand out to Richard as he set his glass down.

Richard ordered his drink and nodded towards the other doctor. "Doctor Shepherd…" He said politely.

"Richard Webber… This is Doctor Mark Sloan… plastics God of the east…" Derek chuckled as he sat back slightly. "Mark, this is Doctor Richard Webber… Chief of surgery at Seattle Grace… long time friend of Ellis…"

"Doctor Webber… Doctor Webber…!" Mark said as he held his hand out to shake Richard's hand. "I've read several of your journal submittals… Neuro, right? You're an absolute genius…"

"Why thank you, Doctor Sloan… yeah, Neuro…" He nodded with a laugh as he watched Derek give him a strange look.

"You never told me that you were…"

"I don't recall being asked, Doctor Shepherd…" Richard laughed. "And call me Richard…" He chuckled. "It's not every day I see a Neurosurgeon bringing over a Plastics guy for a double barreled bypass…" He chuckled.

"She's not going through with the surgery… Mark is a close friend… he made sure Meri was able to get here alright..."

"Ah…" Richard nodded. "How is Meredith doing?"

"She's… she's doing alright…" Derek sighed as he nodded his head. "She talked to her mother, and Ellis is being even more stubborn."

"Well… Ellis doesn't give an inch to anyone who hasn't earned it." Richard replied.

"That's for damn sure…" Derek sighed. "She's putting me through hell here. She refused the surgery… now she says she'll get it if I perform it…"

"Have you ever done one before?"

"No." Derek sighed. "You?"

"I have… assisted on one…" Richard nodded.

"Patient survive?"

"Unfortunately… he didn't wake up…" Richard sighed. "It was a while ago… there have been some changes to the technique…"

"I've read everything there is on it… but I really don't think that I'm prepared to do something so risky to someone so close…and famous… come on… one slip up… and I've killed my mother in law and my mentor… I don't think I could handle it…" Derek sighed. "I know I wouldn't be able to handle it…Meri would be crushed… I know she wouldn't blame me… I would hope that she wouldn't… but it would be too hard… and then the boys… when they're old enough to… I cant even think about this…Excuse me…" Derek said quickly as he stood up.

"Where you going, man?" Mark asked as he watched Derek walk away.

"I have to powder my fucking nose…" He grumbled as he walked toward the bathroom, leaving Mark and Richard alone at the bar.

--------------------  
Almost an hour and three stories later, the two little Shepherd boys lie sleeping on their grandmother's bed. Ellis and Meredith sat silently in thought as they rubbed the backs of the sleeping boys and listened to the silence as it paraded through the room violently, leaving tiny seeds of anxiousness in its wake.

Ellis finally sighed, releasing the breath slowly as not to disturb Meredith, or have her assume she was bored or irritated. She looked to her daughter and watched her wide eyes as they stared off into nothingness. It was something she had done since she was younger, this look of doe eyed innocence that Ellis had always scolded her about, not realizing that it was those moments when her daughter was truly at thought, and also forgetting the fact that she too had that same look and same habit of becoming lost in her own thoughts.

"So, he impregnated you again…" Ellis said, the words falling from her lips sounded strange and almost friendly as she watched her daughter pull herself from the safe confines of her thoughts.

"You don't have to make it sound so clinical…" Meredith said with a half smirk as she watched the slight bit of happiness in her mother's eyes, the happiness that she allowed to be revealed.

"Oh." Ellis nodded. "So I should say something like… so… he knocked you out again…" Ellis nodded.

"Up." Meredith replied.

"What was that?" Ellis asked.

"Up… he knocked me up… knocking me out would be bad… he'd probably be arrested for that…" Meredith nodded, a slight nervous giggle in her voice.

"Of course…" Ellis nodded. They were silent for a few moments as Ellis sighed again. "You're happy about it…"

"Yes." Meredith smiled, looking up at her mother. "Very happy about it… we were kind of trying… I love having a family… I love my boys… I think Derek is hoping for a girl…" Meredith said, watching her mother stare off for a moment. She wasn't sure if her mother had heard her, as she appeared to be off in her thoughts, though she was proven wrong when Ellis turned her attention back to her.

"You don't want a girl…" Ellis said with a shake of her head. "Girls… they're wild and mischievous… always in trouble… always doing the opposite of what you tell them to do…Stick with boys… they're loyal to their mothers… If you have a girl, that husband of yours will spoil her until they become exactly alike… I don't know if you would be able to handle two Derek Shepherds… I know that I can hardly handle the one…" Ellis winked as the girls both laughed.

"I don't know… I was thinking that maybe its time that I evened things out a little bit… three little boys, and one big one?" Meredith sighed with tears in her eyes.

Ellis thought for a moment and glanced to her daughter. "You know… maybe one daughter wouldn't be so bad." She said with a half smile. "I'm sure she'd be able to keep these boys in line…"

"She'd be the boss…" Meredith said with a sad sigh, feeling the tears rolling down her cheek, she could also feel her mother's eyes burning into her, watching her reaction.

"Meredith…" Ellis shook her head.

"Why would you do this to him, Mom?" Meredith whimpered. "You know that he can't do it… you knew that he wouldn't…"

"Meredith…"

"You always have to have things on your terms… your way or the highway… and this was… Mom, I think you may have crossed a line here…" Meredith said as she watched her mother's eyes soften.

"Meredith… I didn't choose to be sick… I didn't have a choice in that. I didn't want you to see me like this… sick and vulnerable. I trusted that Derek would let me do this in peace… and I've found that he's much smarter… much stronger, and much, much, much more stubborn than anyone else that I've ever met. He wasn't supposed to know, you weren't supposed to know… it was going to be quick… painless… in my sleep kind of thing. I fainted and Derek pressed for answers. I gave him the answers… and I'm giving him the opportunity to try to do what he feels is right."

"But if he does the surgery… and you die… then he has that blood on his hands, Mom… He has his wife's mother's blood on his hands… literally, physically, mentally, psychologically… he has that stigma… that thought, that undeniable guilt that he couldn't save you."

"But he could save me, Meri… He could save me, because he's a brilliant surgeon… and I trust him."

"There has to be someone else you trust." Meredith whispered. "You can't do this to him, Mom…"

"Then I can die in peace… as I had planned."

"Don't you understand, Mom? If you die because he didn't do anything… he's still got your blood on his hands… he still has that thought in his mind that he could have tried… If you die, and he doesn't try to save you… He'll be broken. Mom… you can't do this to him."

"Meredith… Derek is a grown man… he's not an idiot. He'll know what to do."

"But what if it is too late?"

There is no such thing as too late. Whether I die in a day… in a week, or in a dozen years…I'm going to die… we're all going to die… and people have to stop worrying about stopping it. I could have the surgery, walk out of the hospital and get hit by a bus…"

"I think that's why they have that wheelchair policy…" Meredith sighed, staring off at the wall.

Ellis chuckled a little as she watched her daughter think. "My death is out of my hands, Meredith… It always was… and because it is in Derek's hands now, I feel more at peace than I did when no one knew about it."

"You need to tell him, Mom." Meredith said as she sighed. "You need to be the one to tell him these things, because it is your life…or death… and since you seem so set on handing it over to him… I think you need to discuss his responsibilities with him, because right now he's struggling… and he doesn't deserve this pain." Meredith said sincerely, watching Ellis nod softly.

"Where is Derek?"

"He's with Mark." Meredith said with a half smile, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

"Sloan?" Ellis asked, raising her eyebrows. Meredith nodded and watched her mother's expression turn to amusement. "You know… if you're not careful…he and Derek…"

"Mom!" Meredith said with a half giggle. "He was traveling with me and Grey…he's a great friend…"

"I think he's afraid of me…" Ellis said with a smarmy grin as she lay back on the pillow.

"Everyone is afraid of you." Meredith replied.

"Not Derek."

"Everyone but Derek is afraid of you."

"I'm the boss…" Ellis said as the two women giggled, relaxing in a somber silence.

--------

"You know…" Derek lamented as he leaned across the bar. "You know… I… you know…"

"Derek, I can't read your mind." Mark replied.

"Derek, I think you've had enough to drink…" Richard chuckled when he looked at the younger doctor beside him as he struggled for words.

"I sometimes wonder what it'd be like to not be me…" Derek sighed. "You know… I like… I um… I would be like a fly on the wall, you know… look at myself… see where stuff is…"

"Derek… seriously… Meredith is going to kill you when she finds out how much you've had to drink."

"You know… that's right… she probably will, probably will… but then I'll be dead, and then… shit, I can't die… I'd end up with Ellis in hell…"

"Hell?" Mark laughed. "Why would you be in hell?"

"I don't know… but I'm sure somewhere… at some point in time… Ellis sold my soul to the devil so that she could like… get a new MRI machine… or something…" Derek mumbled.

"So the devil is selling MRI machines, huh?" Richard asked with a laugh.

"You never know…" Derek shrugged. 'I can't die though… I have to take care of my Meri… and my boys… and my new little one… shit… I'm going to have another kid…" Derek said, putting his head down in his hand.

"Yep… a third little Shepherd…" Mark nodded.

"Oh… won't it be great… three little ones… you know, I hope it's a girl… you know… a little girl that looks just like my Meri…What do you think, Richard… Meri was a cutie when she was a baby, wasn't she?"

"Adorable…" Richard nodded.

"That's what I always tell her… she's adorable… adorable…A…" Derek sighed.

"Hey…" Mark said as he sighed.

"…dorable…" Derek finished.

"Why don't we get you back to the house… You're probably tired." Mark sighed.

"Yeah… I need to get home to my Meri… she's probably wondering where we are…" Derek slurred slightly as he stood up.

"Yep, probably…" Mark replied as he nodded his head, helping Derek from the barstool. "Woah there…" Mark said as he tried to catch his friend before he tipped over.

"I almost fell there, didn't I?" Derek muttered.

"You sure did…" Mark rolled his eyes.

"Hey Derek…" Richard said as he watched the young doctor look up from his feet. "Why don't you and Doctor Sloan come by the hospital tomorrow… I can show you around a bit…"

"Sure…" Mark nodded his head as Derek nodded as well.

"Yeah…" Derek replied. "You can show me where you toss the crazy people that insist their son in laws operate on them…" Derek laughed as Mark rolled his eyes and grabbed Derek as he led him from the bar, towards the waiting car.

--------------------

Derek stumbled up the steps of the house and nearly ran head on into the front door. "Derek, wait for me…" Mark said as he grabbed his arm.

"I have to talk to the old lady…" He grumbled as he pulled at the doorknob.

"Derek, you can't talk to her right now… she's probably sleeping…" He sighed. "Everyone is probably sleeping… you don't want to wake everyone up."

"Why the hell not, huh? Her mother wants to DIE, Mark… she wants me to do this surgery because she's a stubborn goat that thinks nothing for anyone else… I hate her…" Derek hiccupped.

"You don't hate her."

"I do… from the first moment I lay eyes on her… she was a slave driving, mean, heartless bitch and she still is… she's evil… evil, evil, evil…"

"Derek, stop it… you cannot go in there talking like this." Mark held tightly to his arm, feeling Derek trying to pull it away.

"I'm going to… I'm going to go in there and tell her that I don't care if she dies! Did you hear that, Ellis!" Derek shouted.

"Derek, cut it out!" Mark exclaimed, punching him in the arm.

"I don't care if you die, Ellis Grey! You deserve what you get!" Derek shouted as he stumbled around on the porch.

"Derek!" Mark exclaimed.

"No! She tortures me… she tortures her daughter… do you know that she kidnapped Meredith? Do you know that she pulled Meredith right from under her own father's nose and kidnapped her and dragged her across the country? Did you know that? She's a horrible, horrible person Mark… horrible! She wants to die… just let her die…" Derek exclaimed as he looked out onto the driveway, his arms extended away from the house, his voice was slurred, his mind was reeling and in no condition for forward thought, and when he turned around he nearly tripped backwards down the steps.

Meredith was standing in the doorway, her eyes widened, her mouth agape and Mark moved forward to catch his friend from falling. Meredith grabbed Mark's arm. "No." Meredith said as she stared angrily at her husband. "If he wants to act like this, you let him fall…" She growled.

"Meri!" Derek said as he took a step forward, his voice sad and a whimper as he reached for her.

"Go to hell, Derek." She growled back at him, slamming the door in his face.

Derek stood with his nose pressed against the slammed door. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes starting to water. "I fucked up…" He whispered.

"You fucked up." Mark replied.

"I fucked up a lot…"

"Yep." Mark replied.

"Shit." Derek whispered.

"Doesn't even begin to cover it…" Mark said as he watched Derek remain with his nose pressed against the door.

"How much did she hear?"

"Enough."

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Derek said as he turned swiftly and ran down the steps. He leaned over the bushes in the front of the house and began to empty his stomach.

--------------------

"Derek…" Mark said as he patted his friend back as he wiped his mouth.

"Don't… touch me…" Derek said as he took a deep breath.

"You alright?" Mark asked.

"No…" he groaned as he crouched, staring into the bush that he had just vomited into.

"Well… on the bright side…" Mark shrugged. "You didn't puke on me…"

"Thanks…" Derek muttered. "Ass… Why didn't you tell me to shut up?" Derek asked as he stood up carefully.

"I told you to shut up…"

"Why didn't you push me off the porch or hit me with something? Jesus Christ, Mark…"

"Dude… this is so not my fault…" Mark shook his head.

"No… but… goddamn it, now I'm so fucked…"

"You're probably actually going to get the couch…" Mark pointed out, immediately getting an angry glare from Derek. "Probably shouldn't have said that, huh?"

"You think?" Derek asked.

"Come on… let's get you inside… get you a little milk or something for your stomach… maybe… a crowbar to get the foot out of your mouth…"

"Smart ass…" Derek said as he took Mark's arm and let him help him up the porch to the door. Mark reached out and opened the door as he helped him walk through into the house. He looked towards the stairs as they closed the door and walked towards the kitchen. "Can you go up and talk to her… tell her that I…"

"That you're an ass?"

"Well… yeah…" Derek muttered as he shook his head. "I… I missed her so much, I don't want to miss out sleeping next to her just because I'm an idiot… I need her…" He whispered.

"Oh, don't give me the tears… go on into the kitchen, I'll go talk to Meri." Mark said with a nudge as he watched Derek nod and walk into the kitchen as he shook his head and jogged quickly up the stairs.

He walked up to the room that Richie had showed him was the room that Derek had been staying in and he knocked lightly on the door.

"Go away…" Came the soft voice from within.

"Meri, it's me… Mark…"

"Go away, Mark…" She mumbled from within the room.

"I'm coming in…" He said with a sigh as he opened it slowly.

"I said go away, Mark…" She sighed.

"I'm in…" He smiled at her as she lay on the bed, her arms wrapped securely around Greyson's Snuggle bear as her body curled up into a ball. "Meri…" Mark said with a sigh.

"He…" She sniffled as she buried her face into the bear, her eyes were all he could see of her face.

"Meri… he's drunk… he is mumbling… he's upset… he loves you, he loves your mom… he's just ranting…"

"You were supposed to take him out and get the ranting out of him… clear his head… not get him drunk enough so that he can come back here and say mean and nasty things that make me sad and angry… you were supposed to get it out of him at the bar, not on the front porch in the early morning hours to all the neighbors…" Meredith mumbled at him as she gave him an angry glare.

Mark shook his head and smirked as he tilted his head at her. "You're going to blame this on me too?"

"No…" She mumbled as she raised her eyebrows. "I'm just… sad…" She whimpered. "I don't want my mommy to die…"

"I know, Meri…" Mark said as he squatted beside her, running his fingers through her hair. "You know Derek didn't mean those things… you know he's just venting."

"But he said them…" She sighed.

"But he misses you… and he loves you… and he is scared, because he doesn't want your mommy to die either." Mark replied.

"He doesn't?" Meredith asked.

"You know he doesn't… think of all the things he wouldn't get away with…" Mark smirked.

Meredith watched the playfulness in Mark's eyes and smirked slightly. "He does like to get away with things…" Meredith said with a slight giggle.

"Come downstairs with me to get him…" Mark said softly. "You missed him too…"

"I did…" She whispered. "I do…"

"Then come on… he's waiting for you…" Mark nodded toward the door as he held out his hand. He watched Meredith consider what he was saying and smiled as she reached her hand out slowly. "It was your idea to get him stinking drunk anyway…" Mark teased.

"I guess it was…" Meredith said with a sigh as she grasped his hand and let him help her from the bed, as she grasped his hand and let him walk her downstairs.

They stepped down the stairs and walked towards the kitchen, hearing no sounds, Mark glanced to Meredith as they walked into the kitchen. Derek was nowhere to be found and Meredith could feel butterflies in her stomach as she stepped fully into the kitchen, her heart beating out of her chest when she saw his feet sticking out from behind the island. "Derek!" She exclaimed as she ran around the island, her hand going to her chest as she realized he was just sleeping. She fell to her knees beside him and leaned forward to kiss his lips.

Very slowly, his eyes opened, his lips curling to a smile as he recognized the figure above him. "Does this make me sleeping beauty?" He asked, smiling a sloppy grin, noting the disapproving look on Meredith's face. "I'm sorry." He whispered, his bottom lip sticking out as he looked into her eyes.

"I know…" She whispered as she watched him swallow hard, tears coming to his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you." Derek whispered.

"Alright, lovebirds… let's get you both to bed…" Mark said as he reached down for Derek's hand. Derek reached up and allowed Mark to stand up, as Meredith stood up as well, her arm moving immediately to Derek's waist. They walked toward the door in silence, Derek and Meredith supporting one another with Mark behind, supporting both.

They stepped up the stairs carefully, and Meredith turned Derek into the bedroom, he walked inside as she turned back to Mark. "The boys are in my mother's room…" She whispered to him, watching him nod as he smiled softly.

"I'm going to go turn the lights out downstairs… and then go to bed…"

"Thank you, Mark…" Meredith said softly as she felt tears stinging her eyes.

"It's never a problem, Meri. Just take care of him…He's going to be feeling like crap in the morning…"

"I bet…" Meredith sighed as she glanced into the room, seeing Derek lying on the bed, his hands over his face.

"Goodnight, dumbass…" Mark said to Derek, who peeked out from between his fingers.

"Ass…" Derek muttered ask he listened to Mark chuckle.

"Goodnight, Meri." He whispered, kissing her cheek gently as he disappeared down the hallway toward the stairs.

Meredith closed the door and sighed as she stared at the door for a moment. She turned around and Derek still lay on the bed, his hands still covering his face, his shoe laden feet hanging off the end as he shook his head. "Alright, sleepy head…" Meredith sighed as she walked over to him.

"Meri… I'm sorry…" He whispered as he felt her hand on his foot, carefully pulling the shoe from his left foot, she remained silent, pulling the shoe from his right foot, he heard them fall lightly to the carpet beneath the bed. "Meri…" He whispered as he opened his eyes, pulling his hand from his face, he watched her concentration as it remained at his feet. She held no expression of sadness or happiness, just a slight blank look as she slipped her fingertips beneath the top of his socks, carefully pulling them off. He moved his foot slightly, the brush of her hand on his foot sent a ticklish feeling up his leg as her eyes finally glanced up at him and back to his foot as she pulled his other sock off. "Meri, talk to…"

"Shh…" She whispered as she walked to the side of the bed she was lying on. He reached his hand up to touch her waist as she leaned down softly and kissed his lips. "You need to get some sleep…" She whispered as she watched the tears roll down his cheeks. "What's wrong?" She whispered

"I…" He whimpered as he shook his head, his mouth stuck open as no sound came out, his hand settled on her waist as she turned slightly and sat down on the bed beside him, feeling his hand move around her slightly as she leaned to the side and put her hand in his right hand. "I'm sorry…" He whispered.

She leaned forwards slightly, reaching over him to pull a certain teddy bear from beside her pillow. "You were sleeping with him?" She asked, raising her eyebrows as she tilted her head slightly.

"Maybe…" He shrugged as he reached his hand up and touched the bear lightly as she held him in her hand. "He's not as warm as you…and… he doesn't ramble on and mutter… but you know… he's not mad at me…" Derek whispered as he grasped the bear in his hand and pulled it into his chest as he wrapped his arm around it.

"He's not mad at you?"

"No." Derek whispered. "He understands what I'm going through…"

"I understand…" Meredith whispered, listening to Derek sigh. "I'm not mad at you, Derek…"

"Yes you are…" He said softly. "You should be… and if you're not… there may be something wrong with you…" Derek nodded as he cuddled with the bear.

"I'm not mad at you…" She growled playfully as she rolled into his arm. "I promise…"

"I was bad." He sighed, his voice still slurred as he sighed. "I was bad… and mean… and loud and rude… You should be more than mad at me… you should be…um…you should be really mad at me…" He sighed, feeling her head press into his chest for a moment, he sighed, feeling her look up at him. When he looked down at her, her big blue-green eyes were staring up at him. "What?" He whispered.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you." He sighed, another tear making its way down his cheek as he watched her watch him. "Meri…" He whimpered, his lower lip sticking out as she watched it tremble.

"Oh…oh, Derek…" She whispered as she watched more tears roll down his cheeks as he just stared into her eyes.

"I don't want her to die, Meri…" He whimpered. "I don't want her to die… I love her too much to let her die…" he sniffled. "I love her too much… why is she doing this to me? Why is she fighting so hard?" He sobbed.

"Oh…" She whimpered as she moved up, holding him as best as she could as he buried his face in her body, his arm around her as he sobbed. "Oh… Derek… Shh…" She whispered, unsure of what to do, his words were so sincere and he seemed so scared, so alone, so lost. "Please… please don't cry…" She whispered.

"I mean… I mean… what if it were my mom, you know? Going through this… how can you be so calm? I…She… She's such a special person… she's a fucking genius, Meredith, and she wants to die…It's not right… it's not right…" He sobbed. "What are we going to tell the boys? What will we tell them about their GG…? This isn't fair to them, it's not fair, Meredith… it's not fair… Meri… it's not fair…"

"Derek…" Meredith whimpered as she rocked him in her arms. "Derek, stop doing this… stop doing this to yourself…" She whimpered as she tried so desperately to hold back her tears. She had no idea how hard he was taking this, how badly this was affecting him. "Derek… shh…" She whispered, trying so desperately to calm his tears.

"I want to do the surgery, Meri… I want to do it… I have to do it… I can't let her die, Meri… I can't let her die…" he groaned into her as he sobbed, his hears wetting her pajama top as she rocked him. "Don't let her do this…" He cried as she kissed his head, letting him release all of his pent up frustration and fear into her. "I love her, Meri…" He whispered.

"I know, Derek… I know you do… we all do…" She whispered as she rocked him gently in her arms, letting him cry his heart out, until he fell asleep in her arms.


	8. Even the Strong Need A Break

Meredith woke slowly, the head of her sleeping husband was nestled in her neck as she curled her body against his. He was sleeping soundly as the morning sun slipped in through the blinds on the window like a burglar's flashlight, peering through, piercing the darkness of the room. The low rumblings of wake were descending upon the sleeping couple as the sound of pounding feet could be heard in the hallway, likely the source of interruption to Meredith's sleep.

Listening carefully, she could hear the soft giggling of her boys and the quiet whispering of Mark, telling them to hush and get downstairs for breakfast to allow their parents to sleep. "Derek…" Meredith whispered to her slumbering husband, curled within her embrace, the soft breeze caused by her breath moving his soft dark wisps of hair into her face as she whispered his name, feeling his body curl tighter around hers. "Derek… sweetheart…" Meredith whispered again. "Der?"

His groan came from deep in his chest, his mouth opening as he yawned a big yawn, pulling from her arms slightly to lift his head, his crystal blue eyes meeting hers as he stared blankly at her for a moment. "Hi." He whispered, his husky voice was thick with sleep, the throaty sound he made as he tried not to yawn as he watched her look into his eyes, studying his mind for a moment without saying a word.

"Hi." She finally whispered, swallowing hard as she watched his reactions. His lips curled slightly as a smile was brought to his face, and it seemed for a moment as if they were both lost in one another enough to forget the worries that were likely to erase that smile from their faces.

"You're here." He whispered.

"I am here." She replied. "How is your head?" She whispered.

"Hurts…" he whispered back, tasting the aftertaste of liquor on his tongue, he made a face.

"Are you alright?" She whispered.

"I've had harder nights of drinking…" He winked at her, a slight cringe as he closed his eyes. "Mind you… it was before I was married and had two…"

"And one tenth…"

"Two and one tenth children…" Derek looked her in the eyes. "I…never…"

"It's fine…" Meredith smiled softly.

"Do you need to…?"

"If I don't move… I should be fine…" Meredith smirked.

"Good… because I think I puked enough for the both of us out in the front lawn…" Derek nodded, watching Meredith's hand go to her mouth. "Talking about it doesn't help, does it?" He asked, watching her shake her head. "Sorry…" he whispered. "Let's think of something else… like… puppies or kittens or… how I am going to get through the morning at the hospital with a splitting headache."

"Hospital?" Meredith asked.

"Richard said he'd show us around… he was at the bar last night when Mark and…"

"Richard?" Meredith sat up slightly. "Richard Webber?"

"Yeah… he's the chief of surgery at Seattle Grace…"

"Richard Webber…?" Meredith asked as she swallowed hard.

"Meri… you know…" Derek said with a surprised glance as he sat up, watching her nod slowly as she tried to find the words to explain herself.

Meredith watched his eyes implore hers, looking deeply within the sparkling blue-green orbs that could stop his world from turning. She knew that he wanted an explanation, and she wondered how much he could know. Her mother was not an open book, her mother was not the one that told him this, it must have been Richard. "Derek…" She said softly, watching him tilt his head as he sat up a little more, the pain in his head obvious from the cringing face he was making.

"You know about Richard…"

"How much do you know about Richard?" She whispered.

He smiled slightly as he watched the hint of playfulness in her eyes. "You tell me what you know first…"

"No, no… You are just trying to gauge how much you're going to tell me based on how much I already know… I know your tricks, Derek Shepherd… tell me what you know…"

His smile widened slightly as he watched the sly look on her face. She did know him well, a little too well at times and she was right. He was going to give her only the information she needed, as long as it didn't hurt her. "I only know what he told me… and some of what your mother told me…"

"They were in a relationship." Meredith whispered, glancing to the door. "My mother… and Richard… at the hospital, she cheated on my father."

"You know this…" Derek nodded, his voice was still gravely and low from sleep and this was quite a deep conversation to be having this early, but it had to be said sometime, and it appeared to be spilling out right then and there.

"I read notes… and letters that she had written. I was home alone a lot… and sometimes I'd go through my mother's things… and… I did find a lot of things that were… probably not for my eyes. But I know that Richard and my mother were… um… close…" She said with a slight cringe. "And… I guess… that's why my mother left my father… because of it all… the affair… or whatever…" She shrugged, watching Derek nod. "Now what do you know?"

"That… all that you said…" He nodded.

"That's it?"

"Yeah… yeah, that's it…" He nodded his head as he smiled slightly, his eyes flashing to the right before returning to hers.

"What else, Derek?" She asked, watching him yawn. "There's something more…"

"There's nothing more…" Derek said, suddenly, Meredith raised her hands and clapped really loudly in his face. "Ow… what the hell…" He said, grabbing his head as it started to throb.

"Tell me…" She said, slapping her hands really loudly together as he cringed and covered his ears.

"Stop…"

"Tell me what you're keeping from me…" She said as she started to clap really loudly as Derek tried to hide beneath the pillow "Tell me….tell me… tell me…" She chanted as she clapped her hands.

"Fine!" He exclaimed, grabbing her hands mid clap as he pulled her down on top of him, her nose pressed into his. "Torturous bitch…"

"Lying sack of shit…" She kissed his nose. "Tell me…"

"Your… mother… didn't leave your father." Derek said with a sigh, watching as he swallowed hard.

"She said…"

"Your mother was kicked out by your father… your father divorced her… and because…" He sighed, watching the concern in her face he had to pause. "Meredith…"

"What, Derek? What?" She whispered as she rolled to her side of the bed again, lying on her side facing him, he faced her and sighed.

"Because your father was so adamant about the divorce… your mother took you to Boston with her…against your father's wishes… she took you from him and kept you from him..."

"She said that he had lost custody…that he didn't want me."

"He couldn't find you. In your mother's eyes, he had lost the right to be your father. She took you from him… he loved you, and she took you from him."

"No…" Meredith shook her head. "No, he didn't want me…" She said with a whimper as she felt tears welling in her eyes. "That's what she said, she said that he just made it easier for her… because she wasn't in love with him anymore… so he just gave me up… that's what she said…"

"Meredith…" Derek whispered, shaking his head. "That's not what your mother said… that's what she's worried about… That's why she didn't want you out here in Seattle, Meri… She made a lot of mistakes out here… she made a lot of enemies and she hurt a lot of people… She wanted to come out here to make things right before she died…"

"She lied to me!" Meredith exclaimed, tears rolling down her cheeks as Derek watched her carefully. "Derek, she lied to me!"

"Yes… she lied to you… and she has lied to you about a million things… but she's your mother… and she had her reasons… and she loved you… and she still loves you, Meri…"

"I could have had a father…" She whimpered, covering her face with her hand.

"Meri." Derek whispered as he ran his fingertips through her hair, his eyes looking deeply into hers as she swallowed hard. "Could you honestly imagine your life being much better than it is now… if you had a father? Would it really have made that big of a difference?"

"Mommy!" A little voice squeaked as the door swung open and two little feet pounded quickly across the floor, leaping onto the bottom of the bed as Meredith tried to control her tears.

"Mommy, Mommy, DADDY!" Greyson shouted as he bounced onto the bed after his brother, flopping into the bed behind his brother as they cuddled with their parents as they stared into one another's eyes, having a conversation within their minds that only they could hear as Meredith broke eye contact.

"What is this monstrous interruption?" Meredith asked as Richie clung to her with a giggle and a kiss, her eyes flashing up to Derek.

"Its time to get up and party!" Richie exclaimed with a laugh.

"Yes! Party!" Greyson exclaimed as he sat on Derek, hopping a little as Derek held his hand up to the little boy's back so he wouldn't fall.

"Copy cat!" Richie exclaimed.

"I'm not a copy cat!" Greyson exclaimed, lunging for his brother.

"Yes you are!" Richie shouted as the two boys started to wrestle between their parents.

Derek smiled across at his wife as she gave him a sad smile, their eyes communicating a mutual agreement of happiness as they each lifted a boy from their wrestling match and rolled them to their feet off the bed. "Alright boys… let's let mommy get up and get dressed…" He said as he watched the two boys run out of the room, climbing from the bed himself with a groan. He turned and leaned over the bed as Meredith lay on her side looking up at him. "I don't give a flying poop whether you were raised by your mother… your father… a monkey, or a pack of wolves… You're mine now… and that's all that matters to me." He whispered, kissing her lips softly as he listened to the squealing of the two boys in the hallway. "And I suppose I'll share you a bit with them…"

"Ewww!" Richie exclaimed from the doorway as he watched his parents kiss.

"I'll give you eww! Come give daddy a kiss!" Derek exclaimed as he stood up and ran out of the room after the giggling little boys, leaving Meredith on the bed, a smile on her face and only a small weight in her heart, that could have been much bigger if it hadn't been for the love that surrounded it.

* * *

Derek walked downstairs following the boys, and he heard the sound of two voices arguing in the kitchen. He glanced to Greyson and Richie and nodded towards the couch. "You two hang out here… daddy will be right back…"

"Where are you going?" Greyson asked, watching Derek as he looked towards the kitchen.

"Just hang out in here, will you? You can ask questions in a little while…" Derek said with a chuckle as he pointed toward the couch, where the two boys sat down and watched him walk into the kitchen.

Mark was standing at the table, his hands on the surface while Ellis sit reading a newspaper. Mark's face was red and angry, while Ellis sit with her patented 'I hear you, but I'm clearly not listening' look on her face.

"So what's going on in here?" Derek asked with a sigh, seeing that Mark was clearly frustrated and Ellis was not impressed by his angry demeanor.

"Doctor Sloan here is tossing around his masculinity as if it were the hairspray that you use in your hair… which is looking increasingly thinner lately.." Ellis said without looking up, smirking at her newspaper.

"Hey! That was a low blow! I'm being good…" Derek exclaimed as he ran his hand through his hair, giving Mark a light punch on the arm. "Hey… just leave her alone…"

"But she's being a stubborn goat…"

"She's being a person with free will and personal strength…" Derek said, watching out of the corner of his eye as Ellis looked up at him. "It's not every day a person with two bright and beautiful grandchildren and a family that loves her can make the decision to put herself at risk at the hands of a egomaniacal surgeon with a unhealthy love for his follicles." Derek said with a smirk as he watched Ellis laugh to herself and shake her head.

"So you're going to do the surgery…" Mark said, furrowing his brow. "You're a goddamned…"

"No." Derek shook his head. "I'm not going to do the surgery… and she knows I'm not going to do it… so either way, she gets what she wants…she wants to die… let her die…"

"Hey I'm sitting right here…" Ellis said as she looked up at the two of them.

"I know you are…but dead people can't hear… and they rarely care what is being said about them." Derek said as he watched her glare at him.

"No… I mean I am here, and my coffee cup is empty… refill it please…" She said as she held up her coffee cup and waited for a moment.

The two men stared at her for a second, unsure of exactly what to do, when suddenly Mark grabbed her cup and walked to the coffee maker. "Goddamned slave driver…" Mark muttered as Ellis only smirked as Derek shook his head and chuckled.

* * *

Derek and Mark showered and left for the hospital together, but not before picking on Ellis for a few more minutes until Meredith came in and set them straight. The two men were gone and Greyson had found his Snuggle bear in the bedroom that his parents had been sleeping in. The two boys were sitting on the couch while Ellis remained in the dining room a little longer with her crossword puzzle book and coffee.

Meredith spent some of her time looking through some of the boxes of old belongings and heirlooms, smiling at a memory of something here or there that she remembered, or a picture from when she was a little girl. Meredith looked up when she thought she had heard her mother's voice from the dining room and she glanced to the couch and moved towards the door. Listening carefully, she heard her mother talking on the telephone. She waited a few moments and when her mother stopped talking, she walked over to the phone on the table.

"Who are you calling, Mommy?" Greyson asked, promptly receiving the 'shush' symbol from his mother with her finger to her lips, he smiled and whispered. "Who are you calling, Mommy…?" He whispered softly as she pushed redial. She waited for the ring to stop and she heard what she thought she had heard when her mother was talking.

"A taxi…" Meredith whispered as she hung up the phone. She looked down at her son and smiled. "I'm calling crazy…" She said with laugh as she leaned down and pressed her forehead to his.

"Crazy?" He asked with a giggle.

"Yep… I'm calling crazy, because that's where I'm going!"

"You're going to crazy?" Richie asked, laughing loudly.

"I am… that I am…" Meredith laughed. "Go get your shoes on… you both can come with me…"

"Yeah!" Richie exclaimed as he jumped from the couch.

"Yay!" Greyson giggled as he followed her brother. "We're going to crazy with mommy!" He said with an excited shout. "Where's that?" He asked, his smile disappearing as he asked her seriously.

"We'll just have to wait and see, won't we…" She asked with a wink. She stepped over to the table and grabbed her keys. "Get your shoes on, Mommy is going to tell GG where we're going." She said with a half smile as the boys struggled to pull their sneakers on. Meredith stepped into the kitchen and glanced into the dining room as she sighed. "Mom… I'm taking the boys out… would you like to come with us?"

"No, dear… I'm fine here…" Ellis nodded. "Thank you."

"Are you sure? We can take you anywhere you want to go…" Meredith said with raised eyebrows.

"I'm going to stay in today." Ellis nodded. "But thank you…"

"We'll… see you later then…" Meredith sighed with a weak smile.

"See you later…" Ellis waved as she finally looked up from her puzzle.

Meredith waved slightly and turned to walk out of the kitchen. She could feel the anxiety over her mother's purported future trip. She sighed. "You're feeling alright?"

"Meredith… go… have a good time with the boys… go…" Ellis said with a sigh.

"Bye, Mom… you have my cell phone number, right?"

"Yes, Meredith! Go!" Ellis exclaimed, her voice serious as she shook her head at her daughter. "Just go…" She sighed.

"I'm just going to… go…" Meredith sighed as she turned and walked out of the kitchen. She gathered the boys and packed them into the car and climbed into the car herself. As she pulled out of the driveway and started to drive down the road, she passed a taxi cab coming in her direction. She slowed and watched it, her eyes following it closely, and just as she had suspected, it pulled into the driveway of the house.

* * *

Derek and Mark walked through the door of the hospital and were immediately greeted by Richard. "You look like you're pretty together for someone who was so smashed last night." Richard said with a chuckle, watching the younger doctor smile softly as he shook his hand.

"I can cover up hangover very well… though… with growing up with four older sisters and having two children… it takes more than a little bit of liquor to knock me down." Derek said with a chuckle.

"How is Ellis?"

"She's a pain in the ass." Mark muttered as the other two men laughed.

"Stubborn as usual… and she knows I won't do the procedure…" Derek sighed. "We're going to have to do something…" He shrugged.

"Come on up to my office, there's a few journal articles I'd like to show you on the procedure…" Richard said as they walked toward the elevator. "Doctor Sloan, you don't mind, do you?"

"Actually… I need to give my girlfriend a call… let her know we got in alright… though I'm sure Meri already called her." He said as he nodded. "I'll catch up with you."

"You're going to call Cris?" Derek laughed. "He's so whipped."

"I am not whipped…I just… like to let her know I'm alright… even if she doesn't care." Mark shrugged. "But I'm not whipped."

"Did she tell you to call?"

"Maybe…" Mark mumbled.

"He's whipped…" Derek and Richard replied, laughing as Mark scowled and pulled his cell phone out and walked toward the lobby as Derek and Richard stepped into the elevator.

* * *

"Where is crazy, Mommy?" Greyson asked, watching his mother drive into someone's driveway.

"Crazy is right around the corner…" Meredith sighed as she waited for a moment for the taxicab to pull out of the driveway. When the cab was on its way down the road, Meredith pulled out into the road and followed after it.

"Which corner, Mommy? Which corner is crazy around?" Richie asked.

"It won't be long…" Meredith said with a smile as she glanced to the boys in the rear view mirror and winked at them. "Why don't you two sit back and enjoy the ride we're taking."

"Okay…" Greyson smiled as he cuddled his Snuggle bear to him and looked out the window as Meredith drove.

Meredith drove after the taxi, traveling at a safe distance so that it didn't appear that she was following them. The boys sat in the back seat quietly watching the scenery pass as they made their way through the suburban streets of Seattle. They drove into a newer neighborhood, and eventually, the taxi pulled into the driveway of a small ranch style home. Meredith drove past it and down the road, pulling down a side street that ended in a dead end. Meredith turned around in the dead end and pulled the car to the side of the road, where they sat for several moments, with a fairly clear view of the house that the taxi had stopped at.

"What are we doing, Mommy?" Richie asked.

"We're just resting for a minute…" Meredith replied.

"Oh." Richie said, his brow furrowing as his mother seemed to be acting very strange. He watched her look out the window and waited for her to do something, when suddenly, she began driving again. "Where are we going now?" He asked.

Meredith pulled closer, watching her mother walk up the driveway to the house, she waited for the taxi to pull away before she approached the house slowly. She rolled down her window and watched as her mother rang the doorbell, a man came to the door. Meredith remained at the corner for a moment, watching the exchange as her mother talked to the man at the door, his demeanor seemed cold, and her mother's strangely was polite and kind. Meredith could hear her mother's voice straining slightly.

"Is that GG?" Richie asked.

"Hush…" Meredith whispered as they watched from afar.

"Mama… that's GG over there…"

"Yes…" Meredith whispered. "Hush, baby…" She whispered as she heard her mother's voice raise, not in anger, but almost a sad wail, her arm moving toward the driveway as if to indicate that she had been driven there by a taxi. The man's voice was becoming louder and when he finally stepped out onto the porch, Meredith recognized him. "No…" She whispered, shaking her head as she swallowed hard. She watched as the man approached her mother quickly, almost as if he was going to hurt her, and she watched her mother retreat. Meredith pulled carefully from the road she had been hiding at and pulled into the driveway where the taxi had pulled out. She watched the man angrily shout at her mother and her emotions got the best of her as she leapt from the car and yanked the keys from the ignition.

"Where are you going, Mommy?" Greyson asked nervously.

"I'll be right back… you boys stay here… Richie, watch your brother… just stay here, Mommy will be right there…" She said, pointing toward the lawn as she closed the door and rushed toward the altercation at the front door.

* * *

"I knew that this was going to happen!" The man exclaimed as he stepped forward towards Ellis. "I knew that as soon as I handed that house over to you that you'd show up here, I knew it!"

"I didn't come here about the house." Ellis said, trying to be stubborn, though her resolve was quickly breaking.

"You're not even supposed to be in this city, let alone my lawn. You're not welcome here." He growled.

"Thatcher, there are some things that I think that you should know, that you should understand."

"If it involves you, then I want nothing to do with it. You're nothing but a liar. A bitter, angry, old whore!"

"Excuse me?" A voice rang above the sound of the two people standing on the lawn.

Ellis' head snapped in the direction of Meredith. "Meri… no…" She whispered, shaking her head.

"Did you… I mean… I'm standing here… and I… I could have sworn that you just called my mother a whore…Did I hear that right?" Meredith asked, her voice was angry and defensive, and Ellis stood, trying to find some way to resolve this, to end this. This wasn't what she wanted at all. She had a plan and it was all falling to pieces, and now there they were, Meredith and Thatcher in the same place staring at one another. Meredith was breathing through her nose, her nostrils were flaring slightly as her eyes stared determinedly at the man before her. Thatcher's mouth had dropped open, his eyes wide with surprise as he stared at the woman before him.

"Meredith?" He whispered. "I… I'm… I…"

"I know who you are." Meredith said angrily. "We don't need a formal greeting or salutation, I think you've said enough for both of us."

"Meri… Meri you…"

"No, Mom… this has been a long time in coming…" Meredith said angrily. "Are you going to answer my question?"

"Meredith… I…" Thatcher stammered.

"Did you… or did you not call my mother a whore?" Meredith growled. "Because…it is one thing for you to stand here… and tell her she was a bad wife… or that she made you angry… or that she hurt you… but to stand there… on your own front lawn and call her… this woman in front of you, whom you haven't seen in over thirty years…a mother… grandmother… a world renowned surgeon… a whore? That is disgusting…" Meredith said with an angry, disgusted face. "That is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself!" She scolded.

"Meri… I… its okay… it's… he's entitled to be angry…"

"This isn't about anger, Mom… this isn't anger… this is bitterness… this is... ugly, nasty, horrible bitterness… and this is not going to be stood for. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Meredith… I… I can't believe that you're here…" He said softly, still stunned that she was standing there before him. He watched her carefully as she sneered at him, unsure of what to say or do.

"Let's go, Mom…" Meredith said quickly as she tried to ignore his words.

"Meredith…Don't go…don't go, stay…"

"I'm not staying… I don't know you." Meredith said abruptly. "Come on, Mom…"

"Meredith." Thatcher said, reaching out he touched her arm. She turned around defensively and snarled at him.

"Don't touch me." Meredith growled.

"I…I want to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you. You've said enough for the both of us." Meredith snapped.

"You're not being fair, Meredith." Thatcher raised his voice. "You're not being fair to me. I'm your father. She took you away from me… she took you away from your family… I'm not the one you should be angry at… I'm not the one… She's the one that did this… She's the one that broke this family with her lying and her cheating. She's the one that…"

"She's the one that raised me." Meredith said, turning, stepping forward. Thatcher took a step back, her display of defensiveness was overpowering as she glared angrily at him, her blue-green eyes were darkening as she took another step forward, sending him back another step. "She's the one that raised me… and taught me… and pushed me. She's the reason that I am the person that I am today… She… is the strongest woman that I have ever met… and she is wonderfully stubborn and heartbreakingly effective in every way. She didn't force perfection on me… she encouraged it… and she has been there for every important moment of my life. She is busy and important… and although my childhood… was difficult… it was very difficult for me to understand… and there were things that I didn't experience as a child that I could have, should have, would have… if I had a father as well… or if she wasn't trying her hardest to make her way up the ranks of a male saturated career so that I would at least have a chance to survive in my chosen path… She was there when she could be there… She was there when I needed… her to be there… She was at my graduation from high school, college… Medical school… She is my mentor… my inspiration. She was one of the first people to hold each of my sons, she knows their favorite ice cream, their favorite bedtime stories, and their favorite stuffed animals, and she is the ONLY other woman that I have ever heard my husband say he loved other than his own family!" Meredith paused for a moment as she felt her mother's hand in hers.

"The only unfairness of the situation… Thatcher Grey… is that I had a father… when I was a little girl… I had a father… and I may have been taken away from him… and despite my mother's stubbornness… despite her headstrong, greedy, sometimes overbearing, bossy demeanor… she was never… not once, negligent in her responsibilities… her duties as my mother. She may have taken me from you… but I find absolutely no indication that you ever wanted anything to do with me in the first place. You signed the divorce papers… you gave up custody… and I never heard from you again. THAT is unfair. Being a parent is a full time job…there are ups, there are downs… and there are times that you have to struggle to make things work… you were the one that quit that struggle…in quitting, you relinquished the right to be my father. My mother is not a quitter…Mr. Grey. She does not quit… She has never quit… anything… in her entire life… not once… ever… and that's why she came here… to prove that to you, and to herself…" Meredith exclaimed, her face was red and angry, the tears were evident in her eyes as Ellis pulled her hand. "Are you going to listen to her? Are you going to hear what she has to say?"

"I…"

"Mommy?" A tiny voice came from behind them as Meredith's attention was immediately pulled away, the anger and hatred in her eyes drained as she turned.

"Richie…" Meredith said, noting that her son was standing beside the car, his hand in his brother's as they walked toward her. "Mommy said stay in the car, sweetheart…" She said as she approached the two boys.

Thatcher watched Meredith crouch before the two boys and talk to him, his eyes remained on them as Ellis remained standing, staring at him, watching his reaction to seeing the two little boys.

"Greyson said he has to go potty, Mama…" Richie said as he glanced over at the older man standing on the lawn, staring over at them. "Who is that?" He whispered.

"No one to worry about… now get into the car…" Meredith said as she opened the car door.

"But you were yelling at that man, Mommy… why were you yelling at him? He made you cry a little…" Richie said as he reached out to touch the tear on his mother's cheek.

"Sweetheart…" Meredith said as she sighed.

"I gotta pee, Mama.." Greyson whimpered as he wiggled as he stood there.

Meredith lifted Greyson into her arms and approached Ellis as Richie followed behind. "Mom… let's go…" She said, watching as Ellis continued to stare straight ahead, she glanced to Thatcher, who looked like he wanted to say something. "Tell him what you wanted to say, and let's go…" Meredith said softly as she took her mother's hand, feeling Richie grab hold of her shirt behind her as they moved closer to the stranger.

"Thatcher." Ellis said, swallowing hard.

"Ellis…" Thatcher said, his eyes settling on Ellis as she stand there, her mouth open slightly as she appeared to be trying to speak.

Her eyes were wide and filled with fear as she closed her eyes for a moment. "I just… I wanted… I needed to tell you that I… that I am…" She felt her hand being squeezed supportively by Meredith as she glanced to her daughter. Her eyes fell on Greyson, securely in his mother's arms, his Snuggle bear held tightly to him as he watched her. Her eyes then moved to Richard, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight as he curiously watched his grandmother. She could see Derek in those eyes, staring back at her, encouraging her, pushing her, and she looked up at Thatcher. "Thatcher… I just came to tell you… that I'm sorry." She said as she swallowed hard. "I had to tell you that I'm sorry… for everything. I'm sorry." She said again, watching as he nodded, his brow furrowing as he listened to her, unsure if that was all she wanted to say.

"Let's go, GG…" Richie said as he stepped out from behind his mother to grasp his grandmother's other hand. "Let's go get some ice cream…" He said as he looked up at the stranger as he and his grandmother battled with their eyes. "Let's go, GG…" He said again, softer. "I'll race you…"

"Okay, sweetheart…" Ellis said finally as she squeezed her grandson's hand. "Let's go…" She whispered. "Goodbye, Thatcher…" Ellis said softly as she broke eye contact with him, slowly releasing Meredith's hand, she started to turn toward the car. "Let's go get some ice cream…maybe with some extra sprinkles…how does that sound?" Ellis said as she started to walk toward the car with Richie as Meredith stood watching Thatcher very carefully as she held her son to her.

"Goodbye, Meredith." Thatcher whispered, his eyes passing from his daughter to his grandson.

"Goodbye, Thatcher." Meredith said as she turned around and followed Ellis and Richie to the car as the little boy watched him curiously over his mother's shoulder.

* * *

Meredith helped Greyson into the car, the silence was absolutely deafening as she buckled him in. "Are you all set?" Meredith whispered.

"All set…" Greyson whispered as he grasped his bear in his arms. "I love you, Mama." He whispered.

"Mama loves you…" She whispered back as she kissed his nose and poked it a little as she moved from the back and closed the door. She walked to the driver's side and climbed in, buckling her safety belt, she glanced over to Ellis as she continued to look straight out of the windshield. Meredith started the car and pulled out of the driveway, taking one more look at the man standing on the lawn, his eyes on the car as she drove down the road, silently in search of a bathroom. "Do you still have to go potty, Greyson?"

"No." He said, watching his mother raise her eyebrows at him. "No, I'm okay…"

"We're going to get ice cream… right, GG?" Richie asked. "GG…?" He said, trying to get Ellis to look at him.

Ellis' head was down, her hands on her lap. "Mom?" Meredith said, feeling her heart jump into her throat. "Mom… Richie is talking to you…" Meredith said, her voice falling on deaf ears as Ellis still hadn't looked up or moved.

"GG…?" Richie called. "Mama… is GG okay? Is she taking another nap now?"

Meredith whimpered as she slammed on her brakes, sliding to the side of the road she reached over and touched her mother's chin, pushing her head back, she almost became sick as she looked at the blood streaming down from her mother's nose. Her eyes were closed and she was still breathing as Meredith slammed her foot on the gas. "SHIT!" Meredith screamed.

"MOMMY!" The boys exclaimed in the back seat as she maneuvered through the streets quickly and carefully, trying desperately to find the hospital.

* * *

-Derek and Richard were standing over his desk, looking through a journal article as Mark rolled a marble from Richard's desk around on his hand, listening intently to the two surgeons as they rambled on about this procedure and that. They were suddenly interrupted by a chirping phone and Derek lifted his phone to his ear. "Shepherd." He said quickly into the line, his posture immediately straightening. "Meri." He said, the panic in his voice was evident as he listened intently to her, the screaming woman could be heard by the other two men in the room. "Where are you?" He asked. "Meri, you have to calm down. Where are the boys… are… are they…?" He said as he glanced to Richard. "She's lost… she's lost and she has her mother in the car… her mother….she's…bleeding from her nose…" Derek said as his face went pale. "Is she breathing, Mer? Is she breathing? Meredith… pull over and call and ambulance… Meredith… Meri… listen to me… Meredith!" Derek exclaimed.

Richard reached for the phone and Derek gave him a surprised look. "Meredith." He said, hearing the complete and utter panic in the woman's voice as she stopped yelling. "Meredith, this is Richard Webber… What road are you on? Can you see a sign?" He waited, glancing at Derek, who started to pace slightly, his body trembling as he muttered to himself and listened. "Good… alright… did you pass a convenience store… Meredith… Meredith, calm down… a convenience store… blue… yes… take a left… good… how are the boys, are they alright? Okay… go about a half mile… three lights… then take a right, and an immediate left… Meredith, you're doing alright… you're doing well.."

"He sounds like a hostage negotiator.." Mark said flippantly, immediately getting a glare from Derek as Richard approached the door, nodding to Derek as the two other men got up, and Richard continued to give Meredith calm directions into the phone, seemingly calming Meredith while he talked as the three of them rushed down the stairs to the emergency room and out the back door as Richard waved over a gurney and instructed them to move it outside for an incoming emergency.

"Alright, now you see the building… come in the back, right there… ambulance bay is right there, and there will be… see us? Do you see us? Meredith… Shit… she's not breathing…" Richard muttered as the car came careening around the corner and Meredith leapt from the car as she slammed it into park.

"She's not breathing! She's not breathing!" She screamed as the hospital staff moved swiftly to pull Ellis from the car, the two boys were crying in the back seat as Derek grabbed Meredith tightly in a hug. "Derek! She's not breathing!" She screamed as she felt herself melt into his arms as her mother was rushed into the hospital with Richard.

Mark ran around the car and pulled Derek and Meredith. "Go… go with her… I'll stay with the boys.. I'll pull the car around and take the boys…Go!" Mark exclaimed as finally, Derek grabbed Meredith's arm and began to pull her into the hospital as Mark stood there alone, staring at the doors of the emergency room, the sound of two terrified, screaming boys coming from within the car beside him.

* * *

Mark listened to the piercing screams of the two boys in the back seat as he drove the car around to the parking lot.

"MOMMY! MOMMY! DADDY! GG! GG! MOMMY!" Richie screamed as suddenly, his face was directly in Mark's ear.

"Richie! Get into your seat now!" Mark exclaimed.

"NO! DADDY! MOMMY!" He screamed as he grabbed hold of the door handle and pulled it, trying to open it. Mark was glad that the child lock was in place as he pulled into a parking space. He turned his head to the screaming boys as Richie crawled around the back seat trying desperately to find a way out and Greyson simply screamed and cried from his seat.

"Alright! Alright! Guys! Boys! UNCLE MARK IS GETTING ANGRY!" He said loudly and it was like he had turned a switch. Both boys stared at Mark, their mouths open wide, tears streaming down their faces as they paused. Mark knew that if he didn't say something quickly, then he would lose his opportunity and the boys would start crying about getting yelled at. "Alright…" Mark sighed. "No more screaming… please… no more screaming…" He sighed.

"But Uncle Mark… Where's mommy going… where's she going…" Richie whimpered. "Where'd they take GG? Uncle Mark… She's only taking a nap, right? She's only taking a nap like she was with Daddy, right? Right Uncle Mark? Right?" He whimpered as he rattled off a bunch of questions.

"I… GG… she…"

"Where is daddy? Daddy was here… he didn't say hi… Mommy was crying and daddy didn't come see us… why didn't daddy see us, why did those people take GG out of the car? Why? Uncle Mark… Why did they? Why did they? Uncle Mark… Uncle Mark…" He whimpered, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to understand.

"I want Mommy…" Greyson whimpered.

"I want Mommy too!" Richie exclaimed.

"Mommy, Uncle Mark." Greyson whimpered. "Where is Mommy?"

Mark sat in his seat, watching the tears roll down the boy's cheeks as they tried to understand what was going on. They looked so upset, so lost, so sad and Mark's heart was breaking for them. They looked so confused as they sat there, Greyson's hands reaching out for Mark as he pushed against the seatbelt. Richie was wiping his tears on his sleeve, his lip sticking out as he looked desperately at Mark. "I want Mommy…" He whimpered.

"You want Mommy?"

"Yes…" The boys whimpered.

"That's why you're crying… because you want mommy?"

"Yes…" They both whimpered.

"You want Mommy…?" Mark asked Richie.

"Yes."

"And why are you crying?" Mark asked Greyson.

"I don't know…" He whimpered. "Richie was crying… Mommy was crying…"

"So that is all that is wrong…?" Mark asked.

"We didn't get ice cream…" Richie whimpered.

"Ice cream? You want ice cream?"

"Yes." The boys whimpered.

"You want ice cream right now? Extra sprinkles?"

"Yes." The boys whimpered.

"Then let's get ice cream…"

"But Mommy…" Greyson said, glancing to the hospital.

"Mommy is… at work…" Mark said, glancing to the hospital. "You know… how she works at a hospital in Boston?"

"Yes." They nodded.

"Well… she's kind of at work here… She's working… and daddy is working, and GG is…"

"Taking a nap." Richie replied.

"Um… Yes…" Mark smiled softly. "What do you say we get some ice cream… and we can wait to hear from mommy and daddy… and then we'll… go see them, okay?"

"Okay…" Greyson nodded.

"But ice cream isn't going to take long." Richie sighed. "Mommy and daddy work a lot…"

"Then we'll find something to do… why don't we… go for a ride, okay?"

"We should tell Mommy… she might get worried." Richie replied.

"We'll call mommy in a little while… Now get into your seat and buckle up…" Mark said as he nodded toward Richie. Richie climbed into his car seat and buckled up, looking up at Mark as Mark smiled sadly. "And away we go…" he winked at Richie, who squeezed his eyes tightly in an attempt to wink.

"And awayyyy we go!" Richie and Greyson exclaimed loudly.

* * *

The gurney was rushed down the hallway before Derek and Meredith could even get into the building. They could hear Richard's booming voice down the hallway giving orders and the buzz of the hospital was apparent as Derek held her hand securely in his and led Meredith down the hallway. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and she was silent as the world around them appeared to be spinning out of control.

"It's going to be alright…" Derek chanted to himself over and over, trying to soothe Meredith, but at the same time trying to soothe himself while they pulled Ellis into a room as they worked on her..

They worked on getting her breathing going again as Derek pushed his back against the wall, making himself virtually invisible in the large hallway across from the room as doctors and nurses pushed around. Meredith moved into his chest and buried her face within it, his arms encircled her as they silently prayed together.

"It's going to be alright… it's going to be alright… it's going to be alright…" Derek whispered as he rubbed her back, his eyes on every movement of the doctors and nurses around Ellis in the room, he found himself holding his breath as they did everything that they could, hooking up monitors and machines as a nurse stepped forward and closed the door to the room, closing them off from the sounds and the sights of the woman on the table, but never once pulling their thoughts from her.

Derek continued to hold her tightly in the hallway, the memory of the sights and sounds of the last several minutes were plaguing them as they waited. They were doctors, they knew what was going on and they were fairly sure of the risks and struggles involved in an emergency situation. They also knew when it was time to step back, and Meredith was in no shape to be caring for anyone, attempting. Derek had the responsibility to his wife to make sure that she could still stand, that she could function, walk, talk. He needed to be with her, he needed to be at her side. Richard was with her mother, and the last thing that he needed were two panicking doctors ruining his rhythm and concentration.

The door finally opened and Richard stepped out. The look on his face was somber, not grim and Derek took that to be as good of a sign as he could. Meredith continued to bury her head in Derek's chest. "She…is breathing…" Richard nodded. "She's still out… and we don't think that it burst… yet… or she'd obviously already be gone… but this isn't looking good, we need to make a decision."

"A decision…Richard… how can we… I mean… neither of us have…"

"Do you want to save her, Derek?"

"Yes." He said directly, his wife's sobs were becoming louder as she squeezed him, his hand running gentle circles around her back.

"Then we need to get her into surgery, now. I've already started to gather the surgical team… but I need a right hand man."

"Richard…"

"Derek, you know more about this procedure than any other surgeon that I've met. You're bright, you're an ace according to Ellis… and I've checked your record. You're the best."

"Richard, I can't do… she's my… she's my mother… Richard…"

"You won't be doing anything you're not comfortable with. You're there for support and expertise… She is going to die unless she has this surgery… she wanted you to do it… You're going to be there… There's no other way around it. She's unconscious… that's consent enough… and you're the best surgeon that I've got on hand." Richard said, watching Derek think about it. He looked down at the trembling woman that was attached to him, her head buried in his chest as she sobbed. "Why don't you talk to Meredith." He whispered, watching how broken she was. "We're going to get her prepped… and make sure she's stable enough for the surgery. Let me know your decision as soon as possible." Richard said as he turned to walk back into the room, his face showing a deep concern that Derek was very grateful to see.

Derek stood in the hall holding his wife as she cried, her tears soaking into his shirt as they stood there. "Meri…" He whispered. "Meri, look at me, sweetheart…"

"Derek." She whimpered, her eyes showing such fear and sadness that he could feel a pain in his chest. "Derek…" She whimpered again.

"Listen…" He said as he crouched down slightly, pressing his forehead against hers. "Tell me to do it… and I'll do it, Meri… for you… for Ellis… for the boys… for Mark's little one in there…" He said with a sad smile, watching her eyes look up at his with just a hint of a sparkle left. "For me…Meri." He whispered. "I need to do this… she doesn't deserve to die…"

"But I don't want you to… what if…Derek, you can't…"

"Meri…" He whispered as he shook his head. "I'm going to go through a hell of a lot more if I never try." He said, watching her eyes carefully. He could see her stream of consciousness, the fear and reluctant gaze that was in her eyes. "Meri. Do you trust me?" He whispered.

"Yes." She said immediately, grabbing his hand.

"You know that I always do my best… and that I'd never, ever do anything to hurt you… you know that, right?" He whispered, watching her nod. "I want to hear you say it." He whispered.

"I trust you… and I know you love her, Derek. You'll do what it takes… you'll give it your everything. I'm not going to tell you to save her… that would be selfish… but I'm going to tell you that you mean the world to me, Derek. She loves you… I love you… your boys love you…and just…"

"I love you." He whispered as he kissed her lips softly, breathing in her scent as he ran his thumb across her cheek. "What are you going to do?"

"I'll find somewhere to sit… wait… I need to find out what Mark did with my children…" She said with a half smile, her eyes betraying it with the sadness in them.

"I will find you the second I know something… I'll find someone to do it for me, if I need to…"

"How are they going to know who I am, Derek?" She asked as he took a step towards the door.

"I'll tell them to follow the beautiful light that follows you around…" He said with a wink.

"Oh… Charming… don't mention lights to my mother, please." She whispered. "Tell her that I love her… even if she can't hear you say it… I want her to know…"

"Oh, I think she knows…" Derek smiled softly as he stepped into the room. "I love you."

"I love you." She whispered as he stepped into the room, leaving her alone in the hallway as a wave of loneliness washed over her.

* * *

Ellis' preparation was long and time consuming. The blood tests and monitoring that had to be done before the surgery was cleared were stressful on Derek as he held her hand and watched her carefully. He only left the room once to change into a pair of visitor scrubs and walked back into the room immediately. She remained unconscious the entire time, the MRI scans had concluded that it was time, and any longer could cause extensive brain damage or rupture.

"I need this surgery to remain low key." Derek said to Richard as they began a slow walk towards the elevator with the gurney.

"Already done, Doctor Shepherd. The surgeons on the case are only ones that I have been working with for years and I have complete faith in my staff. I would never put Ellis in danger, and I understand the implications that this has on her responsibilities as chief of surgery in Boston." Richard replied.

"Thank you." Derek nodded as they pulled the gurney into the elevator and rode in silence as Derek internally prayed. He was trying his best to relax, and was finding it very difficult, his hands trembling as he held the railing of the bed. As they began to pull her down the hallway toward the operating room, Derek felt her hand moving. "Doctor Webber, she's waking up."

"Good…" Richard sighed as they pulled the gurney into the room leading to the operating room and Richard moved towards the side of the bed. "I can yell at her for waiting so long…" He sighed, hearing Derek's low, nervous chuckle. They rolled the gurney into the room adjoining the operating room as they glanced through the windows into the operating room. "Ellis?" Richard said as he walked around the bed and took her hand. "Ellis?" He whispered, watching as Derek looked down at her nervously. He turned to the nurse and told her tell the anesthesiologist the change in her condition. He put the penlight to her eye and checked her carefully as she raised her hand and pushed it away.

"No…" She mumbled as she moved her head from side to side. "No…" Her eyes were half open, but they were directed toward Richard. "Meri…" She whispered her voice was soft and barely audible. "Meri…"

"Meri is alright…" Derek said, his voice sent her head turning to his direction.

"Derek…Meri…" She mumbled. She was disoriented and confused, her words were soft and foreign, her brow furrowed as she let go of Richard's hand and reached for Derek's.

Derek looked up at Richard and Richard nodded. "She was sedated for the tests… she's going to be out of sorts… you probably won't understand anything she says…" He said softly.

"But do we still have consent?"

"She told you to do it, Derek… that's consent."

"But I…"

"She needs to know that you're going to be there." Richard whispered. "I'm going to scrub in… talk to her… the anesthesiologist will be in shortly…" Richard said softly. He looked down at Ellis and watched the confused glance move to him. "We're going to take good care of you, Ellis." He whispered, squeezing her hand in his as he watched her. "Derek is here... I am here… and we're not going to let anything happen to you." He whispered as he leaned down and kissed her forehead gently. "We're going to take very good care of you." He whispered as he squeezed her hand again and quietly left the room.

"Derek…" Ellis turned her head, her brow was furrowed and she held such a look of fear in her eyes. Derek had seen her scared only one other time, the day that Meredith had collapsed at her medical school graduation. "Derek…" Her voice whispered again.

"I'm here…" He said softly as he gripped her hand in his. "I'm right here…" He said again. "It's time…"

"Time…" She whispered. "I… Derek…you… no…I can't… Derek…" She mumbled as she shook her head. "Derek…I can't…"

"You can't ask me to do this…" He said gently as he watched her shake her head.

"Please…" She whimpered.

"Ellis… I know why you asked me… I know you told me that… you wanted me to perform the surgery because you knew that I couldn't risk that… you knew I'd say no. You play the game… you know the score… and you're not stupid…" he shook his head. "I've always played the game, Ellis… from the first moment I walked into that hospital…and you called me a pretty boy that wouldn't last the year… I've played the game, and I've sat on the bench… and I've competed and fought… and studied the game… I know the game Ellis… I know you. I know that you…"

"No…" Ellis said, shaking her head, her eyes clearing slightly. "Derek, no." Her hand gripped his tightly, very tightly as his attention went to her eyes as she tugged him. He moved closer to her. "Derek…" She whispered as she finally released his hand, only to grab hold of his scrub top, pulling him hard down toward her, bringing him face to face with her.

"Ellis." He whispered.

"Did you ever… stop to think… that the reason I want you to do this… is because you're the best there is?" She whispered slowly.

"Never." He replied strongly.

"Good." She whispered. "I… don't want some cocky… surgeon tinkering with my brain…" She whispered, her voice was stronger and her eyes were still cloudy, but she was still as sharp as ever.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Ellis… and I'm not going to find out for a very long time." Derek replied.

"Tell Meri… I love her… tell the boys… GG loves them…"

"This had better not be a goodbye, Ellis…"

"I…"

"Ellis…" He whispered, watching as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm scared…" She whimpered.

"I know…" Derek said softly as he touched her forehead. "I know you're scared."

"I'm so scared…" She whimpered. "I am so scared, Derek…"

"I know…" He whispered. "We're all here… we're all here for you…"

"Meri…" She whispered. "Meri… she…you… you made her love me, Derek… thank you… thank you for…"

"She always loved you, Ellis…" He whispered. "She always loved you… she was just a stubborn young woman… and she's still stubborn… and she always loved you…"

"It was you, Derek…" She whispered.

"I was only there to show her that there were different kinds of love…" Derek whispered. "You were the one that made her who she is… she loves you on her own… it is her decision… not mine."

"Thank you… for taking care of her…" She whispered, releasing him from her grip.

"I wouldn't have it any other way…" He whispered. "Ellis… you're going to pull through… you're going to pull through, and you're going to outlast us all… when you go to sleep for your surgery… you'll have nothing but sweet dreams… of grandchildren and surgery… and all of the things that you love… and when you wake up… we'll all be here… and I promise… when you're well enough… Richie and I are going to take you to Disneyworld…"

"Disneyworld?" She whispered.

"I kind of think we owe it to Richie to show him that Florida isn't all bad…" He said with a chuckle as Ellis laughed slightly, nodding her head softly.

"Derek…" Ellis whispered. "Tell Meri… tell her… chocolate chip… tell her I knew… that I always knew…"

"Chocolate chip?"

"She'll know what I mean…ice cream...Derek... chocolate chip..." Ellis whispered, her forehead wrinkling as she seemed to become more confused. The door opened and a tall man walked in, announcing that he was the anesthesiologist. Derek nodded and introduced himself, asking a few questions as Ellis drifted in and out on the bed, the concern in Derek's voice was so evident.

He turned his head to Ellis, watching her lie there so helpless and scared and he smiled softly. "I'll be here when you wake up." He whispered. "Whether you like it or not…I'm going to go scrub in…" He said softly.

"Derek…" Ellis said, reaching for his hand, he offered his immediately as he raised his eyebrows. "I…love you." She whispered, watching the sweet tender smile on his lips as he shook his head.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead softly as he smiled into her eyes. "I love you, Ellis…" He said with a soft smirk. "And I promise… when you wake up… this conversation never happened…" Derek winked.

"I'm glad that we have an understanding." She said softly as she listened to Derek's chuckle as he shook his head and left the room to scrub in on the biggest surgery of his career and life.

* * *

Meredith sat alone in a small waiting room as she watched doctors and nurses pass by the window. She could feel her stomach growling, but she was afraid to move, afraid to breathe. She listened to the sounds of the hospital, letting those sounds and smells envelop her in a cloud of familiarity and deliver her from her pain and worry. She closed her eyes and the first thing she saw was his eyes. She shook her head and opened them again, laughing to herself that he even invaded her peaceful thoughts. "Derek…" She sighed, her stomach growling again as she whimpered his name, trying to imagine him doing something other than surgery on her mother, trying to imagine him laughing or talking or eating or… not eating… she couldn't think of eating…She closed her eyes again, trying to focus on something else. A hamburger perhaps, cheeseburger… extra pickles and mustard… lots of mustard… spicy mustard… She swallowed hard and could swear that she could smell it, practically taste it. She breathed in deeply and her eyes opened as she heard something right in front of her.

"Oh!" She exclaimed when she realized someone was standing in front of her.

"Scare you?" Mark asked as he stood in front of her holding two sleeping boys and a bag from a fast food place.

"Mark!" She said as she tilted her head.

"I brought you a cheeseburger…" He said softly as he sat down beside her, repositioning the boys in his arms as he handed Greyson to Meredith, who shifted in his sleepy position and smacked his lips as he continued to hold his bear tightly.

"What did you do to them?" Meredith asked as she looked up at Mark as he cradled Richie in his lap and set the bag between them.

"We went for a walk… found a park… played for a while… had some ice cream…" He said, noting the chocolate on the faces of the boys, and a swipe of chocolate on Mark's nose and cheek.

Meredith licked her finger and wiped the chocolate from Mark's face. "Ew, Meredith…" he said, rubbing his cheek on his shoulder as he gave her a disgusted look.

"What? You had chocolate on your nose… was I supposed to just let it sit there? I am carrying your child… the least you can do is deal with a little bit of my spit on your face." She said as she winked at him, watching him smile softly as he reached into the bag and pulled out a cheeseburger. He moved his hand and was able to half unwrap it for Meredith as he handed it over to her. She took it carefully and nodded in thanks as she took a bite. "Thank you…" She whispered as she chewed slowly, tasting the spicy mustard and pickles on her tongue, it made her want to eat it quicker.

"I knew you wouldn't get yourself something to eat…" He whispered as he unwrapped a cheeseburger from the bag with one hand and started to eat it.

"I can't leave." She sighed. "What if… something happened?" She asked.

"Then you would be somewhere else in the hospital and not sitting here… there's no difference." He said as he took a bite, watching her eyes on his. "Geography doesn't matter in this case, Meri… if you're in the hospital, you'll find out about it… you have to take care of yourself."

"I…I'm just… I'm not used to being… the one waiting, you know? I am never the one in the waiting room, Mark…"

"I know…" He said as he finished his cheeseburger and tossed the paper in the bag. "Me neither…"

"It feels weird…" She said softly, sighing as she finished her cheeseburger and tossed the wrapper into the bag. "It feels really weird…" She whispered as she watched her son sleep. She held her head down, but Mark knew that tears were making their way down her cheeks.

"Meri…" Mark whispered as he moved the bag to the other side of himself and moved over slightly, wrapping his free arm around her. "Oh, Meri… don't cry…" He whispered as she put her head on his shoulder and began to cry a little more.

"I don't want to wait…" She whimpered. "I want Derek… I need Derek in here… I can't do this, Mark… I can't do this… She's my mommy… and I didn't even get to say goodbye…"

"You don't have to say goodbye… she's not going anywhere… she's not going anywhere, Meri…She's a strong woman… she can make it…and besides… Derek knows what to do…he always knows what to do…"

* * *

"What did we do? What did we do? What did we do?" Derek exclaimed as the doctors worked frantically around Ellis as the monitors began to go off. "Richard! She's crashing!" Derek exclaimed, his face gone pale as Richard and Derek looked to the monitors.

-The day was wearing long, and their arms were becoming tired with the small burdens of weight that they had been holding for hours in their arms. "Meri…why don't we take them to an on call room… that way you can get some sleep." Mark whispered to the woman whose shoulder had been beneath his arm and whose child had been cradled in his other.

"I don't want to move." She whispered.

"Come on, Meri… it's good to move… let's go find somewhere to lay them down." Mark said as he shifted, kissing the top of her head as he stood, Richie moved around in his arms and opened his eyes.

"Mama…" He mumbled as he wiped his eye.

"Mama is right here, baby…" Meredith whispered as she stood, looking down at her little boy as he smiled a soft smile as she pushed Greyson to lay his head on her shoulder as he remained asleep..

"Uncle Mark lost…"

"Uncle Mark lost?" Meredith asked as she looked up at Mark, who smiled as he swung the little boy down to his feet as he stretched and looked up at his mother.

"He raced us at the park… we ran real fast and he couldn't catch up with us…" Richie yawned.

"Well, he must have worn you out… because you were sleeping for a long time…" She said as she looked at the little boy's red cheeks as she looked down at Greyson as he continued to cuddle her.

"I missed you, Mommy…" He said as he hugged her leg tightly, laying his head against her softly as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Where is daddy? Where is GG?" He asked, looking around. "Are you done working?"

"Working?" Meredith asked as he looked to Mark who nodded. "Oh… oh, yes… I'm done working… we're just waiting for daddy…"

"Is he still working?"

"Yep… he's still working…"

"And GG?"

"She's… still working too… why don't we go find a quiet place to sit down…and…I…" Meredith said, looking up at Mark.

"I brought coloring books!" Mark said with a smirk as he pointed toward the other bag that he had carried into the room.

"And you're very excited…" Meredith teased, a slight giggle in her voice as Greyson lifted his head from his mother's shoulder.

"Mama…" He whispered softly, leaning back slightly to look at her, he smiled sleepily.

"Hey there, sleepy head."

"Uncle Mark lost…" He smiled, giving Mark a sly grin.

"And just keep on rubbing it in…" Mark said with a laugh as Meredith shook her head and took Mark's hand as he took Richie's and Richie grabbed the bag with the toys and coloring books.

"Don't worry, Mark… the baby still loves you…" She said with a smirk as Mark shook his head and laughed as the four of them went in search of a quiet on call room.

"You don't love me?" Mark asked as he nudged her as they walked down the hallway.

"What's not to love?" She asked sleepily as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and listened to her giggle as they walked down the hallway together.

* * *

Derek stood in the scrub room as he had been for nearly an hour. His eyes remained on the now empty bed, as they had for nearly an hour. His hands were covered in the blood of his mentor, as they had been for nearly an hour. His face was damp with silent tears as he remained weak enough to allow them to be shed. The operating room was now empty, the surgeons and nurses and doctors that had filled the room had long since left, and he was left to replay every moment of the day over and over again in his mind.

"I'm going to have to face her." Derek whispered to himself, knowing that he was alone in the room, and talking seemed to fill some void. "I have to face her…" He whispered. "How am I going to tell her?" He whispered. "How do I phrase it… how do I hold my head? My eyes?" How do I touch her? How do I hold her? How do I tell her that…"

"Derek." Mark's voice interrupted his thoughts and sent him turning quickly.

"Mark." Derek said, his face was pale, his eyes were hollow, his hands trembling, still wearing the latex gloves, his surgical gown was still covered in blood, as a tear rolled slowly down his cheek once again as the two friends remained locked in a desperate stare of emotions without words.

* * *

Mark and Derek held their gaze for a few moments, their eyes were both filled with a deep fear that neither could define. Finally, Mark stepped forward toward Derek, watching as the look on his friend's face became even more lost than moments before. "Derek…here…" he said as he held his hand out to his friend. "Here, let me… let me help…" He said as he walked to Derek and stepped beside him, tugging on the surgical gown, releasing the ties. "Here, man… let's get you the hell out of here…" He said as he pulled the surgical gown down his friend's arms, crumpling it as he reached Derek's hands, he gently pulled the gloves, inside out and off his hands, facing Derek as he stood before him, his hands still outstretched.

Mark crumpled the gown and tossed it into the trash can, turning back to Derek, he watched as his friend's eyes fell to his hands. "Here…" Mark said as he stepped forward and pushed on Derek's arm, moving him toward the scrub sink, he turned the water on and pushed his friend's hands beneath the flow of water. Derek watched as the water ran off his hands, his fingers not moving, his eyes staring at his fingers as he pushed his hands together. "Meredith has eaten… lunch… she had lunch." Mark stammered as he watched Derek's eyes dart to him as he suddenly started to scrub his hands. "She is sleeping right now… in an on call room with the boys…she has the boys with her." Mark nodded.

"Meredith is alright…?" He whispered.

"She's doing alright… she's pretty broken up about it… and she's waiting for you."

"I… I can't…" Derek shook his head.

"Yes you can…" Mark said with a half smirk. "Don't give me the bullshit… you need her just as much as she needs you…"

"Where did you take the boys?" Derek asked, looking up at Mark.

"Park… ice cream… ferry… anywhere that I could to wear them out as totally and completely as I could." Mark replied.

"You'd make a good father…" Derek nodded. "But you make an even better friend." Derek said with a sigh, swallowing hard.

"Hey… I'm here for the support… you know? I'm like a bra… keep things all perky and lifted… and…"

"And you're always rubbing against someone's boobs…" Derek chuckled as he felt all of the tension and anxiety slowly releasing from his body. The tension in his stance was draining and he could feel his body trembling. "Mark…" He said, his voice cracking slightly as he took a deep breath. "How do I tell her?"

"You walk in there… and you just look into her eyes… she'll know immediately… then you hug her… and you hold her… and if you're lucky… she won't puke on you." Mark joked.

"Always with the jokes… have you ever been serious a day in your life?"

"I tried once… but I could only sleep until one in the afternoon that day." Mark said with a sigh.

"Where is she?" Derek asked as he dried his hands and stepped closer to the door, placing his hand on it as he looked to the floor.

"Next floor up… on call room… close to the nurse's station." Mark nodded. "I was going to go grab something to eat… do you need something?"

"Please." Derek sighed as they stepped out of the scrub room.

"I'll give you guys some time…" He said softly with a smile.

"Thanks…" Derek said as he started to walk down the hallway. "Mark…?" He said as he turned around, watching Mark raise his eyebrows at his friend. "How did you know that she…"

"Because if she had… you wouldn't have been in the scrub room… you would have been upstairs already…" Mark nodded as Derek waved to him. "I'll see you later."

"Later…" Derek sighed turning himself toward the elevator as he made his way to his wife's side.

* * *

Derek walked down the hallway toward the on call room. He thought for a moment about the similarities of hospitals and how though he was thousands of miles from the hospital that he knew so well, there was something familiar, inviting and comfortable about this place.

He stopped in front of the on call room for a moment, collecting himself as best as he could, knowing that his family was on the other side of the door, and that no matter what the issues or tragedy, their love would pull them through. He took a deep breath and stepped into the room and immediately, two little dark haired heads lifted. Their faces lit up the room as they bounced from the bed. Derek held his finger to his lips, hushing them before they shouted as he spied his sleeping wife on the bed nearby.

"Hey, guys…" he whispered as he lifted them up, receiving a kiss from each of them as they hugged him tightly.

"We missed you, daddy…" Richie said with a smile as he hugged Derek hard.

"Daddy missed you…" He said softly.

"Did you miss me, Daddy?" Greyson whispered, following his brother's example.

"Yes, of course I missed you, silly dilly… what are you two up to?"

"We're coloring… Uncle Mark got us some Spiderman color books…" Richie said with a smile as he wiggled a little as Derek helped him down. "I'll color you a picture, Daddy…"

"I want to color daddy a picture…" Greyson wiggled as Derek let him to the floor and the boys climbed onto the bed.

"Why don't both of you color some pictures for mommy and daddy…"

"And GG!" Richie said out loud, and widened his eyes as he covered it quickly. "I mean for GG too…" he whispered as he giggled, going back to coloring as Derek smiled and shook his head. He kicked his shoes off and stepped close to the bed.

He looked down at his sleeping wife, her brow furrowed in her sleep, her leg occasionally twitching as she slept fitfully. He crouched down and lay his fingertips on her cheek, instantly watching the wrinkle in her brow disappear as she slowly opened her eyes. "Derek…" She whispered, lifting her head a little, she watched as he tilted his head to match her gaze. "Derek… you…"

"Meri…I need to talk to you…" He said as he swallowed hard, nodding his head softly as she asked the same question a million times and he returned the answer with a simple nod of his head.

"Oh…" She whimpered, her eyes darting to the boys on the bed as they looked up at her cry. "Derek…" She managed to utter as she reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into her as she crashed her lips onto his, running her fingers through his hair as he groaned and pushed his lips from hers after a moment as she stared into his eyes. "Say it…" She whispered.

"She…just has to wake up…" he whispered, watching as the sparkle in her eyes shined once again, if only for a moment, it was there.

"You're my hero…" She whispered, her eyes flashing to the boys as they watched their parents. "Boys… your daddy is my hero…" She said as she felt tears coming to her eyes and watched the tears coming down his cheeks. "You're crying…" She whispered.

"Heroes are not immune to tears, little miss Meri…" He said with a wipe of his face with his arm.

"I love you…" She whimpered.

"I love you…" He replied. "I love you… so much… and I don't ever, ever, ever want to imagine spending one more moment away from you… life is too precious… it's too goddamned precious…" He exclaimed as he grabbed her into a hug and rolled himself onto the bed, keeping her in his arms as he began to cry softly into her, as she held him securely in her arms.

* * *

Meredith held her sobbing husband for several minutes before they felt the pushing and prodding of four little hands and feet climbing onto them. "Daddy, are you crying?" Richie asked as he rolled over his mother's side and pushed on his father's arm. "Daddy?"

"Don't cry, Daddy…" Greyson whispered as he climbed up to the top of the bed and leaned down, kissing his father's cheek as he ran his tiny fingers through his father's hair. "Don't cry…" he whimpered as he felt the urge to cry. "Daddy…"

Derek looked up at his little boy, watching the tears roll down his cheeks, he felt horrible for being the cause of it. He reached up and touched his little boy's hand. "Oh… don't you cry too…" He whispered.

"Don't cry anymore, Daddy… why are you so sad?" Richie asked as he noticed his mother was crying too. "Mama?" Why is everyone crying?" He whispered. "I'm not crying… why are you all crying?" He asked, totally confused as to the feeling of the room, the sadness and tears rolling down everyone's face. "Listen… listen guys…" Richie said as he climbed down from the bed. "Listen guys, Listen… guys… guys?" Richie said, his voice was nearly panicking as he stood beside the bed. "No more crying!" He exclaimed emphatically as he waved his arms around in the air. "No more crying! No more crying!" He exclaimed "This is craziness!" He exclaimed as he flopped backwards onto the bed behind him.

Derek couldn't help but chuckle between his tears at his son's dramatic attempt to cease the sad and depressing mood that was filling the room. He looked up at the little boy, lying on his back on the other bed as he stared at the ceiling. "Richard…" Derek coughed a little, watching his son's head lift to look at him. "Come over here…" He waved him over as Meredith wiped her tears on her arm and cleared her throat as she rolled over a bit and lifted her arm up as her little boy approached. He draped both of his arms over his mother and looked into his father's eyes.

"Are you going to explain all of this?" He asked with an exaggerated five year old sigh.

"Climb over…" Derek said, nodding his head to his son as he moved over a little, allowing the little boy to nestle into the spot between his parents, their younger son sat perched above them, sitting cross legged on the pillow as Richie looked up at his parents and brother. "What the heck is going on?" He sighed.

Derek took a deep breath and released it slowly. He looked to Meredith, who was watching him carefully, waiting for his explanation and at the same time, waiting to see if he needed help with his explanation to them. "Do you boys know what daddy does for his job?"

"You color?" Greyson asked.

"He doesn't color, dummy…" Richie sighed.

"Don't call your brother a dummy…" Meredith interjected

"Sorry." Richie sighed. "You work at the hospital…" Richie replied.

"Do you know who comes to the hospital?"

"Sick people…" Richie replied.

"Yes… you're right… sick people…"

"People with boo boos…" Greyson replied.

"Yep…" Derek said with a nod.

"Babies… that's where Grey came from… he came from the hospital…"

"Yes… babies come from the hospital too…" Derek explained. "Well… daddy works with people… who are sick inside their brain… inside their head…" He said, touching his head and watching as the two boys did the same. He smiled a little at Meredith as she lifted her hand to run her fingers through Greyson's hair as she watched his eyes. "And… today… GG… GG had a boo boo inside her head…"

"What?" Richie exclaimed, sitting up. "GG did not!"

"Let me explain, let me explain…" Derek said calmly as he tugged on his son's hand as he lay back down. "GG had a boo boo in her head… and daddy had to try to make her feel better… that's why mommy was upset earlier…" Derek said softly. "She knew GG had a boo boo, and that's why she got her to the hospital as fast as she could."

"She was driving like a MANIAC!" Richie exclaimed.

"Mommy's a pretty good driver… as long as there are no snow banks or deer in her way to slow her down…" Derek laughed as Meredith opened her mouth in faux shock. He chuckled and watched his son's eyes. "So… GG came to the hospital… and daddy and another doctor helped to make her better…"

"Where is she now?" Greyson whimpered, feeling the gravity of the situation as he watched the sad look on his father and mother's face.

"Well… right now she's sleeping… she had a very long day… and now we have to just wait for her to wake up from her naptime…" Derek explained. "If everything worked out alright… you'll be allowed to visit her in a day or two…" Derek said softly.

"A day or two?" Greyson asked.

"That's forever!" Richie exclaimed. "What if everything didn't work out alright, Daddy?" Richie asked, looking up into his father's eyes as he scratched his nose.

Derek's eyes flashed to Meredith's and they passed a look of fear and worry as Meredith put her hand on her son's cheek for a moment, leaned down and kissed it. "Baby…" Meredith whispered as she watched Richie turn his head quickly. For a moment, Derek thought that maybe, just maybe, Meredith was going to explain to him the truth, the delicate nature of the situation, the scary and frightening implications of the answer to the little boy's question, and then she whispered the words that he knew that she was trying so hard to believe. "Whatever happens… good or bad… mommy loves you… mommy loves Greyson… and daddy… and mommy loves GG… and we just have to stick together and try to make the most of everything that we have…" She said as she kissed his cheek again. "You're a very lucky boy, Richard…"

"Am I lucky?" Greyson asked, his eyebrows raised as he watched his mother's eyes raise up to his.

"You're lucky too!" Derek said as he reached up and tickled his son as he giggled and laughed and flopped between his parents, beside his brother as the four of them snuggled on the tiny bed and became lost in their thoughts.

* * *

The family lay together peacefully for a while, holding one another as they rested. The boys fell asleep between their parents, the long day had taken its toll on them, and Derek's mind never left the operating room and his eyes wandered around the room. "You're worried." Meredith whispered. "What happened in there?" She asked.

"She's alive." Derek said softly as he glanced to her, though his eyes moved away quickly. "She is still alive…" Derek sighed.

"She's alive…" Meredith whispered. "What does that mean?" Meredith asked, her eyes accusing as her brow furrowed. "Derek…"

"It means she's not dead… she survived the surgery…" Derek said quickly, his eyes still not meeting hers.

"Derek, what happened?"

"Nothing… happened… it's fine, everything is going to be fine…"

"Derek, don't make me go ask Richard. Don't make me research it… because I will…I will, Derek… Derek, look at me…" She said as she put her hand on his cheek and pushed his face toward her, only to have him close his eyes. "That's it…" She said as she started to roll off the bed, only to be grabbed by her husband. "Let go of me…" She growled angrily, her eyes were filling with tears as she pulled her arm.

"Meri, sit down… please sit down…"

"No!" She exclaimed, her emotions getting the best of her as she wrenched her arm away from him and stared at him angrily. "Derek… tell me the truth…" She said angrily, watching as the boys slept soundly against their father as he looked up at her desperately.

"Meredith… please… please sit down, you're going to wake the boys…"

"I don't want to sit down, Derek… I've sat down enough… I want the truth… I want answers… I want to know what happened to my mother…" She growled in a whisper as she stayed out of his reach.

"She crashed…" Derek whispered. "She… she crashed twice…"

"Twice? Derek!" Meredith exclaimed. "She probably has brain damage!" Meredith exclaimed as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Meri, this is why I didn't want to tell you… you're panicking…"

"I am not panicking… I am not… panicking… I am not panicking…" She panicked.

"Meri… sit down…please… There is no use freaking out about this… she's alive." He said, watching her pace the room, marching back and forth. "We just have to wait…" Derek said, trying his best to calm himself as much as he was trying to calm her down.

"Wait… wait… that's all I do is wait… I'm tired of waiting… I'm tired of waiting, I just… I…I need to get some air…" She hiccupped as she turned and left the on call room quickly, deaf to the calls of her husband who was helpless to chase after her.

She walked quickly out of the on call room and nearly ran head on into someone in her panic. When her eyes focused on his face, and she realized her arm was in his hand, her eyes widened in surprise. "Meredith?" He whispered.

* * *

Meredith stood there for a moment, her face was flushed from her one sided argument with Derek. Her mouth hung open for a moment as she looked into the eyes of the man who still held her arm. "I…I…"

"Meredith… are you alright?"

"I…I have to… I need…"

"Meredith… what are you doing here?" He asked as suddenly she pulled her arm from his grasp, turned in a circle and swung open the on call room door, slipping back inside, she closed the door on his face.

"Meri?" Derek asked as he sat up, watching the shocked look on her face as she tried to breath long, deep breaths. "Meri, are you alright?" Derek asked as he leapt from the bed and approached her quickly, taking her face in his hands as he brought her eyes to look into his. She looked terrified, the crystal blue-green of her eyes held no sparkle, her mouth was moving open and closed as she stared blankly at him. "Meri, talk to me… what happened? What… what's wrong?"

"My father is out there…" She whispered, her eyes lifting to his as she allowed a tear to escape her eye.

"Your father is out there? Did he see you? Did he recognize you? Meri… are you alright?"

"Derek… I… Derek…" She whispered as she shook her head.

"Come over here…" Derek said softly as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Come over here…" He whispered, leading her to one of the beds. She walked willingly and sat down beside him, looking over to the bed across from her as they heard a knock on the door.

"Don't let him in." Meredith whispered.

"I won't…" He whispered as he moved quickly toward the door, clicking the lock on the door, someone knocked again. "I'm expecting Mark to come by soon… and Richard will probably check in…" Derek said softly. "Are you alright? I mean… did he recognize you or something?"

"He… I… I saw him this morning…" Meredith whispered. "Why is he here? I mean… he didn't know about the… maybe he… I don't know… Derek…"

"You saw him this morning?" Derek asked.

"My mother… she… she went to his house this morning. I followed her to his house, she took a cab… and I followed her there… and he… he was so mean…" Meredith whimpered, looking at Derek as she shook her head. "He was so mean to her… he was so mean…" She repeated.

"And you talked to him?"

"I had to… I had to, Derek… he was just so mean to her… she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to be talked to that way. I love her… I love her so much, and she can't die, Derek… she can't. I need to tell her how much she means to me… she can't die, Derek… she can't die!" Meredith exclaimed as she grabbed him tightly, wrapping her arms around him as he wrapped his around her. "I don't want her to die, Derek!" She cried.

"I know, baby…" Derek said as he held her. "I know… I know…" He rocked her as he kissed her softly, holding her so tightly in her arms. "It's okay… it's okay, baby… it's going to be okay… Meri… Meri, you can't run away from me…" Derek whispered as he pulled from the hug and looked her in the eyes. "You can't run away from me, baby… you need to talk to me… you need to talk to me… please don't run away from me… please don't leave me alone. I need you, Meri… this was so hard for me, so very hard… I need your support. I need you to tell me that I did well. I need you to tell me that she's going to be alright because when I was in that operating room, all I could think about was how I couldn't disappoint you… how I couldn't disappoint her… Meri, I need you…"

"I'm sorry…" She whispered as she rocked him, burying her head in his shoulder as he rocked her, holding her, loving her, kissing her.

After a few moments, there was a rhythmic knock on the door and Derek looked up. "That's probably Mark…" Derek whispered.

"Can… can you check?" Meredith whimpered, sniffling.

"I can do that…" Derek said softly as he moved toward the door as he watched Meredith lay down on the bed, he walked to the door and unlatched it, opening it slowly, he recognized his friend's eyes. "Hey, man…" Derek said as he opened the door to let Mark inside. He glanced back quickly and gave a strange look as he walked inside, the door closing behind him as Derek locked it once again.

"Hey… what's going on?" Mark asked as he handed Derek a bag of food.

"Was there someone out there?" Derek asked. "An older guy?"

"Yeah… he looked like he was waiting for the door to open or something. His wife kept tugging on his arm, I guess she cut her finger open making dinner… needed stitches or something… poor old guy looks so confused…" Mark said as he sat down in one of the chairs in the room. "Meri…" Mark said, watching as Meredith looked over at him. "Is she alright?" Mark asked, watching Derek watch his wife with a concerned look.

"She… she's as well as can be expected…" Derek said softly as he sat down, placing his hand in her hair, running his fingers through her hair as he sighed, the lump in his throat and the pain in his heart overwhelming.

* * *

-Meredith lay in the bed, staring off into space as Derek sat beside her. He had eaten his dinner and Mark sit resting on the chair across from them as the boys started shifting on the bed. "Daddy?" Greyson mumbled as he sat up slowly, his bear tucked in his arms as he looked up at his father sitting on the other bed, his head leaning against the wall.

"Hey, buddy…"

"What time is it?" Mark asked as he looked over to Derek, who looked at his watch.

"Nine…" He said with a sigh.

"They're going to be up all night…" Mark nodded toward the little boy as he sat up.

"We're all going to be up all night…" Derek replied with a sigh as Greyson climbed from the bed to his father, who lifted him up into his lap.

"Do you want me to take them to the house?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows as he nodded toward the boys.

"No… no, it's okay… we didn't bring you to be the babysitter…" Derek said with a polite smile.

"I'm not the babysitter… I'm Uncle Mark… and I'm sure they'd rather sleep in a real bed and not one of these nasty cots." Mark nodded toward Richie as his head popped up, his eyes filled with sleepiness as he yawned.

"Daddy?" He whispered, seeing Derek, he smiled.

"Hey Rich…" Derek said with a soft smile as Richie waved and yawned again.

"I have to go potty, Daddy…" Greyson whispered as he looked up at Derek.

"Alright then…" Derek said softly as he looked down at Meredith. "Meri… I'm going to take the boys to the bathroom. Meredith continued to stare straight ahead, her eyes not moving, her mind still moving too quickly for her to pay attention. "Meri…" Derek said softly. He looked up at Mark, who nodded toward the door.

Derek lifted Greyson from his lap and took his hand, and Richie climbed from the bed and stood up, watching his mother. "Daddy, mommy looks sad…" He whispered as he watched Meredith continue to stare off.

"She is sad, buddy… let's go potty and then we'll decide what to do, okay?" Derek said as he watched Mark nod toward Meredith. He mouthed the word 'thank you' and slipped out the door with the two boys.

"I don't want to stay here no more…" Greyson whimpered. "I wanna go home…"

"I wanna go home too…" Richie whimpered.

"We'll go home… just relax and let's go to the bathroom." Derek said softly.

"Daddy… can we go home after we go potty?" Richie asked, looking up at Derek.

"Uncle Mark can take you back to the Seattle house if you want…but we have to wait for GG…"

"Oh." Richie said as he stopped for a minute, stopping Derek. "Then… I don't want to go there… I want to see GG…"

"Daddy, you said GG has a boo boo…" Greyson said, tugging on his father's arm. "Does she need a kiss to make it better…"

"She might need a kiss to make it better… but we have to wait for her to wake up from her surgery…"

"When will that be?" Richie asked. "I want to see GG now…"

"I want to see her too…" Greyson whimpered

"GG is very sick, boys… we have to wait until…"

"But I don't want to wait! I want to see GG now!" Richie exclaimed, the anxiety in his voice was unmistakable as he stomped his feet. A couple of nurses looked in his direction and he gave them an apologetic look as he tugged the boy's arms.

"Please…. Please… please, please…Let's just go to the bathroom so that we can get this done with…" Derek sighed as the boys gave Derek a confused look, the desperate look in his eyes was enough to make them stop arguing about it, but there was no way they were dropping this.

* * *

Derek finished up with the boys in the bathroom and was just exiting and walking down the hallway when an older man approached him. "Excuse me…" He said softly, looking to the younger man in scrubs who was walking down the hallway with the two little boys. Derek stopped and immediately the two boys pulled themselves behind their father.

"Can I help you?" He asked, unsure of why the boys were acting so strangely about this man, he looked up at him and tilted his head slightly, noticing something familiar about him.

"I… I'm Thatcher Grey…I'm Meredith's…"

"Mr. Grey." Derek said sternly, stiffening his posture slightly as he held the boys behind him. "Derek Shepherd." He said as politely as he could, holding his hand out and shaking the man's hand as he watched him look at him nervously. "Meredith's husband…" He said in a stern voice.

"Yes…I… I was here earlier… and I saw Meredith… well, I saw… I saw her much earlier and then I saw her a little while ago… and I was… I…"

"I'm really sure that Meredith isn't interested in speaking with you, Mr. Grey. She's been through an awful lot today, we both have. It's late… and I have to get our boys to bed."

"Is she alright?" Thatcher asked, his tone was showing genuine concern as he watched the younger man's eyes rake over him.

"Meredith is fine… she is strong, and she will make it through this…" He said strongly, unsure of exactly what Thatcher knew. "Though your concern shouldn't be with her, Mr. Grey." Derek said softly. "Shortly after Meredith spoke with you this afternoon, Ellis collapsed."

"Collapsed. Oh… Oh my… oh my God…" He said anxiously. "Is she alright? Is she…"

"She had to be rushed in for emergency surgery. She is in recovery… though from what I'm heard from your conversation with Meredith and Ellis, I'm fairly sure that you're not someone that they'd like to see right now. You can leave your inquiries at the nurses' station." He said sternly. "Excuse me." Derek said as he took his boy's hands and led them down the hallway, their heads turning to look at the man who they had seen earlier that day, feeling the same coldness from their father as they had when their mother had gotten through talking to him.

"Who is that man, Daddy?" Richie asked as they rounded the corner.

"He's someone that GG knew from a long time ago…" Derek said as he listened to the loudspeaker through the hospital calling for Doctor Shepherd. Just as he heard the announcement, the door to the on call room opened and Mark stepped out.

"There you are…" Mark said quickly. "That's the third time they called for you…"

"Shit…" Derek muttered as he held his boy's hands.

"I'll take them back to the house…" Mark said as he took their hand. "Do you want Meri to come with you?" He asked.

"No… let her stay in the room and…"

"Meri is coming with you." Meredith said as she stood in the doorway suddenly, taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows in concern.

"Hey… I'll either hear it from Richard, or from you… I'd rather hear it at the same time as you… so we can do this together." Meredith said, her voice tired and weak as she swallowed hard. She turned and knelt before her boys, leaning her forehead against their heads as they huddled into her. "You be good for your Uncle Mark…" She whispered as she watched them nod. "Daddy and I are going to go check on GG…see how she's doing, okay?"

"Okay…" The boys whispered as they nodded their heads.

"Mommy loves you very much."

"I love you, mommy…" Greyson whispered.

"I love you, mommy…" Richie whispered next as he leaned forward and kissed her nose. "Tell GG we love her…"

"Mama?" Greyson whispered as he watched the sad look in his mother's eyes.

"Hmm, baby?" Meredith asked softly.

"Give Snuggle bear to GG, please?" He whispered as he handed his favorite bear to Meredith. "He will kiss her boo boo…"

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked, glancing up to Derek, who looked proudly at his son as he nodded.

"I think she needs him…" He whispered.

"I'll be sure to deliver the message and Snuggle bear to GG." Meredith said softly as she kissed her boys. "Now be good…" She said softly as she took Derek's hand and held Snuggle bear to her heart. "Thank you, Mark…" She whispered as he nodded.

"I love you guys…" Derek said as he tugged on Meredith and looked up at the speaker as they called his name again. "Let's go, Meri…" He said softly as they made their way down the hallway, glancing back to the two boys as they waved at their parents as they made their way quickly down the hallway, holding their hands tightly as if it were the only thing keeping them from breaking apart.

* * *

The page over the loudspeaker had told them to report to a particular room on the third floor. Derek held Meredith's hand tightly as they approached the room, their hearts beating wildly within their chests as they approached the room. Derek pulled Meredith close as they slowed, as the door opened and Richard walked out. The look on his face was solemn, soft and sympathetic, though not quite holding that 'death blow' look that surgeons often had when they knew that there was no hope. He was concerned, worried, terrified, petrified all in one glance and it only became worse when he saw the look in Meredith's eyes.

"Doctor Shepherd…" Richard said as he sighed. "Meredith…"

"Doctor Webber…" Meredith replied, unsure of exactly how to react to the look on his face. Derek held her to him and she heard him sigh, though she was fairly sure she heard a hint of a whimper on his breathing.

"Derek…" Richard said softly. "I thought you would like an update on her status."

"Is there any change…?"

"She is stable and comfortable. Her pupils are reacting… that's a good sign, though we've decided to keep her under sedation for a short time, allowing the vessels to settle before we bring her out. Normal recovery from this surgery is probably…"

"She could be conscious in one to two days… if everything went well, isn't that correct?" Meredith asked, looking up at Derek.

"If everything went well… yes…" Derek nodded. He looked up at Richard and sighed slightly. "No signs of bleeding?"

"No bleeding… she is just sleeping now, and we will attempt to take her from the ventilator tomorrow. The nurses found this in her pocket, I guess it fell out when they were prepping her for surgery and I thought that it was intended for you." Richard said, handing an envelope to Derek.

Derek looked at the envelope in Richard's hand, he paused for a moment before taking it into his own and flipped it over to read the front. 'Derek Shepherd- In case of my death'. "Richard…" Derek said, glancing to him, shaking his head.

"I… I wasn't sure if I should give it to you… considering the circumstances."

"Why would…? When…?"

"Derek… I wouldn't ask questions. You know that Ellis is prepared for everything. She probably wrote this letter weeks ago when she found out about the aneurysm. Would you like to see her?"

"Yes." Meredith said softly, her eyes were still downcast as she held tightly to her husband. "Please…"

"Feel free to visit as long as you'd like. You both, as well as Doctor Sloan will be treated with the same privileges as one of our own doctors, so feel free to make yourselves at home." Richard nodded.

Derek nodded and slipped the letter into his pocket, his eyes flashed to Meredith and she watched his hand slide the paper inside. Her eyes lifted to his as Richard opened the door to the room and allowed them to enter.

* * *

Meredith and Derek walked into the recovery room, knowing full well what was waiting for them on the other side, though it still had the power to shock Meredith, seeing her mother lying there in that bed gave her such a small appearance, her head was bandaged and the ventilator was still attached to her mouth, ensuring that her lungs were still working, though providing her with oxygen and monitoring her heartbeat and any other movement. She had tubes poking from here and there, and being a doctor would have made that easier if she really wanted to know that her mother was being fed by a tube, her waste was being removed by a tube, but seeing her mother so vulnerable and helpless made Meredith want to crash to her knees and sob.

She refused to break down, though her legs refused to move any farther than the doorway. "Meri…" Derek whispered.

"Just… give… give me a minute…" She whispered as she stood frozen, mesmerized by the sights and sounds of the room. "Go… go over… go…" she pushed Derek slightly as she watched his eyes stare into hers.

"Meri, are… do you…"

"Derek, go…" She pushed him again, watching as he tilted his head slightly. "I'll be okay… just… just give me a minute…" She whispered, pushing him again.

"Richard says she's reacting to light…" Derek said as he looked up, walking slowly toward the bed, his eyes remaining on his wife as she stand there, grasping the small brown teddy bear in her arms as she watched him carefully. Her breathing was slightly labored and she looked absolutely exhausted. "Meri… that's a good thing… it's a good sign…" he whispered as he watched her. He picked up the chart that had been completed and flipped through it carefully. "Everything is looking good, Meri… everything is…"

"Derek, stop!" Meredith shouted suddenly.

"Meredith… I…"

"Just… just… stop!" She exclaimed as tears rolled down her cheeks, her body trembling as she grasped the bear tightly.

"Meredith… please…" Derek said as he approached her, reaching his hands out to her.

"Derek, no!" She exclaimed as she struggled from his grip. "No… if everything were okay, she wouldn't be lying in that bed… she wouldn't be lying there… if everything were good! Stop fooling yourself! Stop fooling yourself!" She exclaimed and was immediately pulled into his chest as she began to sob. "Stop fooling yourself… stop… stop…" She whispered, sobbing into him as she trembled in his arms, crying hysterically as he held her tightly, allowing her grip to tighten on him as she cried and he held her, thinking of nothing to say to her but that he loved her, and that no matter what happened, he would be there to protect her.

* * *

Derek held Meredith until her crying finally subsided, her whimpering was full of exhaustion and sadness as he requested a nurse bring her a bed to sleep on. She had insisted that the bed be pulled close to her mother's, as close as the nurse was willing to bring it, though it was still a good distance away as Derek lay fully awake in the small bed beside her, her head nestled in his chest as he listened to the rhythmic pulse of the machines in the room. Her rest was not immediate, but she was asleep in a very short amount of time as Derek lay beside her thinking about the day, the surgery, the past week, month, year. He could feel a sharp tug in his chest as he swallowed hard, thinking of his boys and how upset they had looked when they had found out about Ellis being sick.

He glanced to the bed where Ellis lay, her body still in the same position as it had been when they came into the room, give or take an inch or two from when the nurses came in to check on her, poking and prodding and examining. He thought about how much she would have hated it if she were awake, and how much she will hate it when she does wake up, when she does wake up. She will wake up.

He had tried to be positive for Meredith, the words that he had spoken of hope about her reacting to the light was indeed a good sign, but it meant nothing. People who were brain damaged could react to light as well. Dead people didn't. Ellis wasn't dead, and if he had anything to say about it, she wouldn't be dead for a very, very long time. He just hoped that for her sake and his wife's sake, that she was alive and moving fully when she came out of it.

Ellis was an active woman, waking every morning between three thirty and four on a regular day, arriving at the hospital promptly at four thirty every morning and leaving promptly at seven each evening. He didn't imagine that she stayed awake for very long after arriving home, knowing that her schedule was so rigid and formulated, he figured that there wasn't much to do once she came home anyway besides eat and go to sleep before her day began once again. This woman fought hard, worked hard, and was as stubborn as she pretended to be. She deserved the rest that she was getting right now, and that's what Derek was telling himself to get by from moment to moment so that he didn't fall into a million pieces like his wife had seemed to be doing.

He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and lifted it to his ear. "Derek?" The familiar voice came over the line as Derek smiled sadly.

"Mom…" He whispered, knowing that she was probably upset at him for not calling her earlier, he waited for her onslaught of questions.

"Derek, you need to tell me what's going on over there, I can't sleep…" She whispered.

"Mom…I…"

"Don't stammer, dear… just tell me…it's okay… you can tell me anything…" She said nervously, knowing that he was stressed out, she tried her best to understand his feelings, but the longer she was kept out of the loop, the more anxious she felt. "Did Meri make it there alright?"

"Yes…"

"Greyson was a good boy?"

"Yes…he's with Mark and Richie… Ellis… Ellis underwent surgery this afternoon." He whispered.

"Oh… oh dear… were you there, sweetheart? What happened?"

"She passed out… and we brought her in and we had to do an emergency bypass… She… she's still out, but she appears to be doing well… but only time will tell…" He whispered, his throat closing slightly with the lump that he was trying desperately to swallow.

"How is Meri?" She whispered.

"She's taking it all very hard." Derek whispered. "She's sleeping right now…"

"The boys?"

"They're at the house with Mark… he's… he's been invaluable in this whole experience…we told them that GG was sick… they… they seemed to take it pretty hard, though they haven't been able to see her yet."

"Did you…"

"The chief of surgery was in charge of the surgery… but I was there… and I watched her through the entire procedure… it was a very, very long surgery." Derek said softly as he sighed.

"Derek…" Marion whispered softly as she sighed sympathetically. "Are you alright?"

Derek paused for a moment, unsure of exactly how to answer that question. No one had asked him until this moment how he was doing after the surgery, only Meredith. She shifted in his arms and he kissed her head softly as he held the phone to his ear. "I'm… alright." He said softly into the phone. "I'm doing alright, Mom…" He whispered.

"Are you sure?" Marion asked. "If you're lying to me, Derek…"

"I'm not lying…" he said, chuckling slightly at his mother's insistence.

"I will be on the next plane out there if I think you're lying… just to give you a smack…" She replied, hearing him chuckle again. "I love you, Derek…"

"I love you, Mom."

"I love all of you…"

"We love you…" He said, clearing his throat as he felt himself getting teary again. "Mom…" He whispered.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Instead of worrying about me… and Ellis… and Meri and the boys… why don't… why don't you busy yourself with finding more room in the basement for another grandchild's worth of Christmas gifts." He said, hearing the soft gasp over the phone line as he waited for her response.

"Derek!"

"It's true… we only found out the other morning… we'll let you know when we know more…"

"Derek, all of this stress can't be good for the baby!" She exclaimed.

"That's why she needs to know that Christmas is all settled…" Derek chuckled, listening to his mother's nervous laugh over the line. "I should… I should probably go… it's late here and I still haven't gotten any sleep."

"You rest, sweetheart… rest up and stay healthy… don't make me take that plane ride to Seattle… you know that I will if I have to…" She exclaimed.

"I know you would…" Derek said with a sigh. "Mom…" Derek whispered as he swallowed hard, feeling the tears in his eyes.

"Yes, sweetheart…?"

"Live forever…" He whimpered, allowing the tears to fall down his cheeks as he listened to his mother's breathing.

"I fully intend to, sweetheart… I fully intend to…" She whispered, feeling her own eyes filling with tears as she felt the pain of her son and his family clear across the country breaking her own heart from where she sit on her rocking chair on the front porch while she listened to the cricket's music fill the night as dawn slowly arrived.

* * *

Mark lay on the bed of the master bedroom, his eyes are on the ceiling, his mind wandering to places that he had never imagined them wander. He had a small five year old foot dangerously close to his face, and a draped over his chest lay the body of an exhausted three year old. He had been able to sleep for about an hour before the screams of a little boy roused him from his short lived dream, sending him careening into the bedroom.

Richie was having a bad dream, shouting in his dreams, his eyes closed as he sweated in his pajamas, his hair soaked with sweat, his screeching cry was heartbreaking. Mark didn't know what to do for him, in fear of waking up his brother, he lifted the little boy from the bed and brought him into the hallway, holding him through the bad dream as he rocked him, trying to bring him out slowly, when suddenly his eyes opened wide and he breathed in a deep breath as if he had been shocked by something. He took one look at Mark and his lip began to tremble.

"No… no, don't cry, buddy… it's alright… Uncle Mark is here… don't worry… don't worry, buddy." Suddenly, he started to cry, full broken sobs that nearly brought Mark to his knees as he held the little boy carefully, rocking him back and forth as he cried, rocking him back and forth as he suddenly felt a warm wetness on his arm. "Oh… crap…" Mark whispered as he carried Richie down the hallway, all the while talking to him in a low, soft whisper as he tried to reassure him.

"Uncle Mark…" He cried. "Uncle Mark, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Richie cried as Mark rushed into the bedroom and grabbed the suitcase, wrenching a clean pair of pajamas, he rushed the little boy into the bathroom.

"It's alright… don't worry… it was an accident… accidents happen… it's okay… don't worry…" Mark kept repeating softly as Richie sobbed into his shoulder as Mark ran some warm water in the bathtub and carefully set Richie down as he helped him pull his wet pajamas off him as he stood there shivering, crying. "It's okay, buddy…" Mark said softly as he helped the little boy into the bathtub. "Uncle Mark understands…" he said as he washed his wet arm with a washcloth, tossing the soiled pajamas across the room, he gave Richie the soap and helped him clean up. After a little while, Richie became quiet as Mark drained the water and helped him from the bathtub and wrapped him in a warm towel. He stood the wrapped up little boy in front of him and looked him straight in the eye. "Hey…" he said, as Richie looked away from him. "Did you have a bad dream?" He asked softly.

"Uh huh…" Richie nodded as he sniffled.

"Do you remember what it was about?" Mark asked softly, rubbing the little boy's hair as he watched his Uncle Mark tilt his head in concern.

"Uh huh…" Richie nodded and sniffled again.

"It's okay to talk about it, you know… I'll listen if you want to talk about it, okay?" Mark said softly watching the little boy nod. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Uh huh…" he nodded as he wiped his nose.

"Let's get you some clean pajamas on and get you to bed." Mark said softly as he helped the little boy from the bathroom.

"Uncle Mark?" He said softly as he looked up at him, stopping for a moment.

"What is it, buddy?"

"Can I sleep with you?" He whispered. "Mama and Daddy let me sleep with them if I have a bad dream. I don't want to be alone." He whimpered.

"Of course you can…" Mark said softly as he nodded, handing Richie his pajamas as they walked toward the bedroom with Richie wrapped securely in the towel. "Go on and get dressed…" he said as he stepped out of the room for a moment. Just as he thought things were quiet, he heard some commotion coming from the bedroom.

Mark walked down the hallway and listened, and he swore he heard Greyson crying. "Grey?" Mark whispered, hearing the crying stop for a minute.

"Uncle Mark…" Greyson whimpered from the dark room as Mark flipped the switch on. The little boy was lying in the middle of the bed, holding tightly to the blanket as he cried.

"What's wrong, buddy?"

"I miss Mommy…" He whimpered as he sniffled.

"Well come on… Richie is getting some pajamas on… we can have a camp out in my room…"

"Really?" Greyson whispered as he sniffled and wiped his eyes.

"Yep… grab your blanket… let's go…" he said, ushering Greyson quickly out of the room as he switched off the light and headed down into his room. When they reached the room, Richie was already stretched out across the mattress, waiting for Mark, he smiled when he saw Greyson enter the room and they all hopped onto the bed and settled in. Richie cuddled into Mark and Greyson snuggled into his chest as Mark an his fingers through the little boy's hair and sighed softly as they closed their eyes.

"Goodnight, Uncle Mark." Richie whispered from his spot beside him.

"Goodnight, Richie…"

"G'night Uncle Mark." Greyson whispered softly.

"Night, Grey…" Mark whispered as he slowly ran his hand over the little boy's back and all three of them settled in as the two boys fell soundly to sleep.

That's where Mark found himself, a few hours and several new sleeping positions for Richie later, laying in a big bed, surrounded by the sweet innocence of his best friend's two sons, thinking of the happiness that they brought him, even despite sadness and wet beds, beyond the talking with their mouth full, dirty faces and thrown food. This was his family, and he couldn't be more proud to be the one that they trusted to take care of them.

* * *

When Derek woke from his sound sleep, his arms were strangely cold and his wife was no longer within his embrace. He thought for a split second of where she could be and immediately heard the toilet flushing in the bathroom. He glanced at Ellis, still in the exact place that she had been when he had fallen asleep and he rolled over, pushing his phone into his side, he grimaced as he sat up slowly, groaning as he stretched slightly.

"You sound like me…" Meredith's weak voice came from the opening bathroom door as she looked at him with sad, pitiful eyes as she swallowed hard.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice was tender and sweet and she appreciated the concern that was evident in it.

"I'm alright…" She whispered as she glanced at her mother lying on the bed. "I hate waiting, Derek…" She whispered as she slowly approached him, resting her head on his chest as he sit with his legs dangling over the edge, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.

"I know, sweetheart… neither am I…" He whispered as he rubbed her back gently.

"Why did she do this, Derek?" Meredith whispered. "Why would she do this to her family? Why did she wait so damn long? Why does she want to die? Doesn't she love us? Doesn't she love her family?" She whimpered against him as she asked all of the questions he had been bombarding himself with since he had found out. "What was she hoping to accomplish? Why did she want to die? Why…?" She whimpered.

"Because for all of her knowledge of medicine… all of her knowledge and experience and love and respect for medicine… this was something she had no control over… she was scared, Meri… she was so scared…" Derek whispered as they watched Ellis continue to sleep.

"My mother… scared?" Meredith whispered as she looked up at her husband's honest and clear eyes.

"She was scared to death…" Derek whispered. "Almost literally…" He said as he kissed her forehead and rested her head against his shoulder as he gently rocked her.

* * *

"The eensy weensy spider went up the Uncle Mark…" The little boy whispered as he crawled his tiny fingers up the side of Mark's face. "Down came the rain and washed the spider out…" he whispered as Mark opened his eyes, he watched the pair of blue green eyes staring up at him. "Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the…"

"EENSY WEENSY SPIDER WAS TICKLED!" Mark exclaimed as he lifted the little boy up and started tickling him, listening to him squeal loudly as he erupted into a song of melodic giggles that filled the room from one side to the other.

"No! Let go! Let go!" Greyson squealed as he struggled and giggled as Mark held him in the air tickling him and wiggling him around.

"Can you guys be quiet…I'm trying to sleep…" Richie grumbled as he lifted his moppy head of hair and flopped his face back down on the bed.

"Well excuse us…" Mark said as he lifted Greyson to the bed, watching the little boy walk around on the mattress, lose his footing and fall onto his side with a giggle, bouncing as he jumped from the bed.

"Come on, Uncle Mark… let's go play and let lazy bones sleep." Greyson giggled.

"Go play? I just woke up… how about I go pee first…"

"You can go pee, but hurry…" Greyson said, nodding his head as he waited for Mark.

While Mark was in the bathroom, the cell phone on the table rang, sending Greyson's eyebrows up. He reached for the cell phone and flipped it open. "Hello?" He said into the phone.

"Who is this?" The voice demanded on the other line as Greyson's voice became softer, unsure if he recognized the voice.

"Greyson Robert Shepherd…" Greyson said softly into the line, glancing toward the bathroom.

"Grey… it's Aunt Crissy…"

"Aunt Crissy! Are you coming to Seattle?"

"I just might… Where's Uncle Mark?"

"He's peeing…" Greyson said with a sigh.

"He's peeing…" Cristina sighed.

"Yes."

"Listen… I've got to go… Tell Uncle Mark to call me… can you do that?"

"Uh huh…" He nodded.

"Love you…"

"Love you, Aunt Crissy…" Greyson said as the bathroom door opened and Mark walked out, he noticed the little boy with the phone in his hand.

"Hey… what are you doing fooling around with that?" Mark asked with a chuckle as he held his hand out to the little boy.

Greyson slapped the phone into his hand and looked up at him. "Aunt Crissy says you're peeing…"

"What?" He laughed.

"Um…"

"Aunt Crissy was on the phone?"

"Yes." He nodded definitively.

"And she said that I was peeing?"

"No, I said you were peeing, and she said it too."

"Oh…" Mark said as he scratched his head. "Did she tell me to call her back?"

"I guess." Greyson shrugged.

"You're a lot of help…" Mark said sarcastically.

"Thank you." He grinned brightly as he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Mark perplexed as he shook his head and dialed Cristina's number.

* * *

"What's going on?"

"Nothing… I just woke up… what's going on with you? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine… why wouldn't I be fine?"

"You're calling me… you never call me… what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong…"

"Something's wrong… what's wrong?"

"Mark…"

"Cristina…"

"How is the chief?"

"Same as last night, I suspect… Cris…"

"Meri… how is she? Is she alright?"

"She's fine… I took the boys to the house last night for some sleep and a little bit of normalcy while Mer and Der stayed at the hospital… please tell me what's going on…"

"Mark…"

"Cristina…"

"Mark… I'm late…"

"Well then… will you talk to me about it later?"

"No… Mark…" Cristina sighed.

"Please?"

"Mark… I'm late…"

"Okay… I'll let you go… but I just… I want you to talk to me about…"

"MARK! I AM LATE! LATE! LATE LATE LATE! NOT FOR AN IMPORTANT DATE! FOR MY GODDAMNED PERIOD! I HAVE NOT HAD MY GODDAMNED PERIOD!"

"Oh." He said softly into the line as he let her screaming sink in. "Well… um… We'll talk about it later, then? Since you have to… since you have to go…" He whispered as he swallowed hard.

"You're impossible." She sighed angrily.

"Do you need me to come home?"

"No." She said as she swallowed hard. "Mark…"

"It's alright…" he said softly as he sighed. "Don't be scared…"

"I'm not scared…" She muttered quickly.

"I'll tell Meredith to call you."

"Thank you…" She whispered. "I'll talk to you later…"

"I'll talk to you later… Cris?"

"Hm…"

"I love you." He whispered.

"You had goddamned better…" She replied, listening to the pause. "Mark…"

"Hm…?"

"I love you too." She whispered as she hung up the phone.

* * *

Derek sat in the chair of Ellis' room, his eyes on her bed watching ever rise and fall of her chest as he sit waiting again for Meredith to come out of the bathroom. Her morning sickness had subsided slightly, though the longer they sat there, the worse she was feeling. "Meri, are you sure you don't need something?"

"I need food…" She groaned as she walked out of the bathroom, sniffling a little as she wiped her eye.

"Food? You just puked out everything you've eaten for a week, not to mention what you're about to eat already…" Derek replied, watching the scowl on her face appear. "Food, huh?" He said with an apologetic sigh. Do you want me to get you something… do you want to come with me? Tell me what you want…" He said as he approached her, slipping a stray hair behind her ear. "Anything, it's yours…" He whispered softly.

"I…" She whimpered, her mouth stuck in the open position for a moment as she stared into his eyes.

"I know what you want." He whispered. "And I'd do it… if I could… right now…" He said as he leaned down and kissed her lips softly, closing her mouth as she kissed him back. "I'll get you something to eat." He whispered as he moved his thumb across her forehead. He leaned forward and kissed it softly.

"Thank you…" She whispered as she hugged him softly, releasing him, watching him walk to the door.

"Now you take good care of her…"

"I will…" She whispered as he walked through the doorway and out into the hall.

Meredith turned toward her mother and sighed, the shock of seeing her there lying so helpless had worn off through the evening and through the morning and into the early afternoon. She had grown accustomed to the sounds just as she had usually done in Boston, knowing that the only reason the sights and sounds had disturbed her so much was because this person lying before her was her own mother, someone she had never seen even sleeping let alone lying in a hospital bed connected to tubes and machines keeping her breathing, nourished and alive.

"Mommy…" Meredith whispered as she pulled the chair up to the bed, kneeling on it as she leaned over the back of the chair, her arms extended over the back of it onto her mother's bed. "Mommy, you have to be okay…" She whispered. "I'm not ready to let you go…none of us are ready to let you go…I don't want to tell the boys that they'll never see their GG awake…I don't want to have to tell my newest baby about who you were… how you were… what you were to us… I don't want to have to do that… that's up to you to do, mommy…" Meredith whispered.

"I remember… when I was ten years old… and you had told me that I could go to that sleepover party… at Stacy Wilken's house… you probably don't remember it, I mean… it was such a long time ago and it was such a little thing… but you know… you let me go… and it was my very first real sleepover… what… I didn't tell you about that sleepover was that I got really sick while I was there… I threw up all over Stacy's mom… and I begged her not to let me go home… I begged her… and she let me stay the night… and I spent most of the night away from the rest of the girls, but I stayed… and you know… I didn't want to go home… I didn't want to go home not because I didn't think that you'd never let me go to another sleepover, or that you'd scold me for embarrassing you or something… I didn't want to go home because I was… I didn't want to disappoint you… you know? I didn't want you to think that I was weak… that I couldn't handle one night away from home… I couldn't stand for you to see me weak, Mom… ever… I am a weak person… from time to time… and I have allowed myself to learn and grow… and figure out that sometimes, sometimes it's alright to be weak… to the right person, in the right situation. Sometimes its okay to be scared, to ask for help. Sometimes… all you need is that one person to take your hand and tell you that you did a good job, and that… even if I wasn't strong all the time… you'd be proud of me either way… even if you gave me a seemingly hard time about it." Meredith sighed as she ran her fingertips over her mother's hand.

"Mom…I love you with all of my heart." Meredith whispered. "Do you remember when Richie was born? Of course you remember… you and Marion couldn't get enough of him… always asking about him… always talking about him to other people… I remember that as clearly as if it were yesterday… how you told Derek that you thought he'd be born with his own hair product line…" Meredith laughed. "He talked about that for weeks…" Meredith rolled her eyes. "I was… so scared of becoming you back then." Meredith sighed. "I was so scared that I would be this absent mother that couldn't be there… wouldn't be there… would grow to not care one way or another of whether or not I was there for my child. I didn't want that… I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I let my child grow up the same way that I had… that's what I thought then… that I had it rough…" Meredith sighed.

"I was wrong about that…mom…" Meredith sighed. "You did things right…for me… and though I may have been a lonely child at times… I was better for it… I earned my place in this world, I learned how to be a mother, how to be a friend to my child and to you. I learned that every person is different, and every child needs to experience different things… You always loved me… and you always tried to protect me from the bad things in the world. You even tried to protect me from Derek…" Meredith said with a sad laugh.

"He has always defended you, Mom. Even in the days that you'd torture him with hours of work and no sleep… he did it all to prove to you that he was strong… that he could do it… that he was worthy of your love and respect. He loves you so much… you can't die on him, Mom… you can't do this to him…" Meredith sighed as she swallowed hard.

"Every word that I spoke to Thatcher, mom… every single last word was true. You're my mentor and my teacher… you're my mother… my friend… and I can't thank you enough for always being here…there are so many things that we need to talk about Mom… so you can't go… you can't go…I love you…" She whispered as she leaned down and kissed her mother's hand, holding it securely in her hand as she closed her eyes and prayed as she cried silent tears of sadness and hope.

She held her mother's hand securely for a long time as she heard the door open slowly and the sound of a brown paper bag rustling. She felt him near her, his body press against hers lightly as he kissed her temple. She opened her eyes and before her was a freshly scooped ice cream cone. "What is that?" She asked, turning her head to see his blue eyes looking into hers.

"Ice cream…"

"Ice cream isn't food, Derek… contrary to the 'man food groups'… it's not food…"

"I got you other food too… quick… take it before it melts…"

"Where did you get it?"

"There's an ice cream place next door…" He said as she took the ice cream cone from him and took a big lick. "Mm… chocolate chip…" She smiled as she turned in the chair and sat down. "I haven't had chocolate chip in a long time…" She said, looking up at him.

"Your mom recommended it…" He winked as he crouched down in front of her.

"What?" She asked, taking another lick as she gave him a confused look.

"She said it was your favorite kind when you were a little girl…" Derek said as he took a lick from his own ice cream cone.

"She did not…" Meredith said with a surprised look.

"She did…" Derek said softly as he touched her cheek. "She remembers things, Meri…She loved you…she loves you…"

"I love her." Meredith said softly as she turned her head to watch her mother again, as she finished her ice cream cone quietly, her hand entwined in Derek's as she blinked away the tears.

* * *

Mark put the boys in the car and buckled them in. He had fed them and bathed them in a cloud of confusion, and he could tell by the silence of the two boys that they could sense something was off. "Are you okay, Uncle Mark?" Richie asked, watching him carefully.

"Um… uh… yeah, why?"

"You're still trying to buckle me in…" he said, pointing to the latch that Mark kept pushing on.

"Oh… oh… ha… I didn't even notice…" He laughed as he shook his head. "I'm just silly today…"

"Yes… yes you are…" Richie nodded.

"Silly, Uncle Mark…" Greyson said with a giggle as he smiled at them and shook his head, closing the door after they were all buckled up. He climbed into the driver's side and sighed as he slipped his keys into the ignition.

"Are we going to go see mommy and daddy, Uncle Mark?" Richie asked.

"Are we going to go see GG?" Greyson asked. "I want to see GG…"

Mark sat in his seat for a moment, unsure if he should bring them to the hospital or not. If he brought them there, the kids would surely make a scene until they got to see their grandmother, and he didn't know if he was ready for that. "You know what… let's call up mommy and daddy… and we can see if GG is doing alright…" He said quickly. "Does that sound like a good idea?" He asked, smiling at the resounding 'yeah' from the back seat. He pushed the button for Derek's cell phone and waited.

After several moments, the phone picked up. "Der."

"Mark… how are the boys?" He said immediately, no pause.

"They're doing well…" Mark said looking at the boys. "Daddy says hi…"

"HI DADDY!" Both boys screeched loudly as Mark held the phone to his ear as if it were keeping the sound out.

"Did you hear that?" Mark asked.

"I think that there are very few people in the world that didn't…" Derek chuckled slightly.

"How's the chief?" Mark asked, getting right to the point.

"No change…" Derek said, there was a light shuffle on the other line.

"Mark…" Meredith's voice came over the line. She sounded frightened and sad, but there was still a very evident sound of strength in her voice.

"Meri…" Mark whispered, feeling his stomach suddenly relax at the sound of her voice. The bravery in her voice was enough to calm him slightly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm… I'm okay… how are my boys? Are they behaving themselves?"

"They're being very good…" Mark said, sighing as he swallowed hard.

"I need them…" She whispered.

"If I bring them to the…"

"She's stable… they won't let them in right away… but I can talk to them… I'd like to talk to them…"

"We'll come see you…" Mark replied. "Meri, if it's any consolation… you're being very brave, and I'm proud of you." He said softly, hearing the soft release of breath on the other side of the line.

"Thank you, Mark." She said softly.

"Never a problem, Meri…" Mark replied. "Meri, Cris wants you to call her…"

"Is she alright?"

"I'm not sure… it's kind of important… call me after you talk to her…" He said softly as he sighed.

"Way to not make me panic, Mark…" Meredith teased.

"She's late." Mark said into the phone, the words seemingly foreign from his lips. Referring to Cristina in any context, the term 'she's late' seemed odd, but at this moment, all Mark could hear was a slight chuckle.

"What?"

"I'm just not surprised…" Meredith said softly. "If it's not one crisis, it's another…" She said softly as she shook her head. I'll call her… thank you, Mark."

"We'll see you soon, Meri."

"Drive carefully… you have my life in that car with you…"

"I have your kids in here too…" Mark chuckled, hearing Meredith groan slightly as Mark laughed and hung up, and was immediately on his way out of the driveway on his way to the hospital.

* * *

Meredith sat in the hallway outside her mother's room and dialed her friend's number, and it hadn't even gone through a full ring when she heard her voice. It was low and gravely, almost as if she… Meredith paused as she listened to her friend throw up. She could feel the bile rising up in her stomach as she flipped the phone closed and ran for the nearest bathroom. She fell to her knees and started to throw up, groaning as she cursed her husband, though she did it silently, she could practically hear him chuckling from there. When she had recovered, her phone chirped and she leaned against the wall of the bathroom and lifted the phone to her ear.

"You hung up on me!"

"You made me throw up!"

"You made me throw up first!"

"All I did was call you!"

"Calling triggered vomit…"

"Did you take the test, Cris?"

"Yes."

"One line or two…?"

"Meri…don't…"

"Come on… you are, aren't you?"

"You know how I always want what you have…" Cristina sighed.

"Yes…"

"I don't want this…" She whimpered.

"The baby?"

"No… the sickness… the baby isn't a problem…"

"Are you going to see the doctor?"

"Tomorrow…" She sighed. "Meredith…" She whined.

"Do you want me to send him home?"

"No!" Cristina exclaimed. "He hates puke…" She sighed.

"He handled mine just fine…" Meredith said with a half chuckle.

"Tell me you puked on him…"

"Twice…" Meredith cringed.

"Oh, Meri… I knew I loved you for a reason…" Cristina said, her voice seemingly happier.

"Do you want me to send him home, Cris?"

"I'll talk to him… but I think you guys need him more than I need him…" She said with a sigh.

"How is work?" Meredith said softly.

"Hanna is out."

"Out?"

"Out… as in… the day you left… as in… gone… history… as in… Bailey is in…"

"Bailey? Bailey is a hard ass…"

"But she's fair… and… she likes me…"

"Suck up." Meredith replied.

"Says the girl that's married to the Neuro attending and daughter of the chief of surgery…" Cristina rolled her eyes.

"Hey… I do not suck up to them." Meredith said matter of factly, pausing for a moment. "Okay… maybe I suck up to Derek… but it's not for surgery… and it's not in the usual manner…" She said with a snarky laugh.

"Shit… I have to go…" Cristina said as the sound of her pager became louder.

"Don't puke on your patient…" Meredith said quickly.

"Oh, Meri! Why did you have to say puke?" Cristina said with a groan as her phone disconnected.

Meredith took a deep breath and carefully stood up, trying to ward off the wave of nausea that was coming over her, when she heard the sound of two familiar boys chattering away in the hallway. She smiled as she wiped her mouth, washing her hands, she headed out the door to see her boys.

* * *

Meredith followed the sound of her son's voices. They sounded upbeat and happy and she was quietly thanking Mark for that particular fact as she saw the two of them climbing on him on one of the waiting room chairs as they all giggled and fought over 'which was going to call mommy' as Mark held the cell phone in his hand.

"I get to call Mommy because I cleaned the breakfast dishes this morning!"

"I get to call Mommy cuz… cuz…. I want to!" Greyson exclaimed.

"How about you both call me right now?" Meredith said as she held her arms out.

"Mommy!" The boys shouted excitedly as they ran across the waiting room to their mother standing in the doorway as she scooped them both up at the same time.

Meredith pushed her head into her son's necks and breathed in their sweet little boy scent as she tried to keep herself from crying. "Oh… my little boys…" She groaned. "My sweet, sweet little boys… I missed you so much…" She groaned.

"We missed you, Mommy…" Greyson mumbled as he hugged his mother tightly.

Meredith looked up as she walked toward Mark, still holding the boys, he stood up and met her halfway. "Thank you…" She whispered as tears started to come to her eyes.

"Hey… you're my family…" Mark said as his arms encircled the three of them. The door to Ellis' room opened and Derek walked out looking for Meredith, immediately noticing the hugging session down the hallway.

He walked down quickly and smiled a sad smile as he approached them. "So it's not bad enough that she's carrying your baby, but you have to get in on the group hugs too?" He teased as he laughed slightly, watching Mark release from the hug and turn around with a smile.

"I can't help it if you're never around…" Mark teased as he watched Derek's eyes widen and mouth open is faux surprise. "How you doing, man?" He asked holding his hand out to Derek, feeling his friend's strong grip after a moment.

"Hanging in there…no change, though." He said as he leaned forward and kissed his boys and his wife on the nose. "How were they last night?"

Mark looked to Richie, who gave him a warning glance. "They were absolute angels… not one little issue…sweet as pie…"

"Why do I get a feeling there's a slight conspiracy here?" Meredith asked as she noticed the glance between her son and Mark.

"No spear see, mom… whatever that is…" Richie sighed. "Can we see GG now?"

Meredith's eyes flashed to Derek who gave them a bit of a nervous look. "Why don't we go down to the cafeteria first… so mommy and daddy can talk to Uncle Mark…"

"We already had breakfast." Greyson sighed. "It's time to see GG."

"I want to see GG! I want to tell her a secret!" Richie exclaimed.

"GG is sleeping, boys…" Derek said softly as he lifted Richie from Meredith's arms and placed him on the floor, taking his hand. "Let's let her sleep and go talk with Uncle Mark for a little while…"

"I don't believe you that GG is sleeping." Richie pouted with an angry look.

"Then don't believe me…" Derek shrugged as they all walked down the hallway together toward the elevator. "But I'd never lie to you…"

Derek held Meredith's hand as she carried Greyson. Richie walked alongside Mark as they all made their way to the cafeteria. They walked into the room and Richie ran along ahead and picked out a table, climbing up onto the chair, he waited for his parents. Mark sat beside him and Greyson slid from his mother's arms and onto a chair beside his brother as Meredith and Derek sat down as well.

"So…" Mark sighed, watching Meredith as she smirked, he could feel a smile sliding onto his features.

"So…" Derek said, watching Mark and Meredith smirking at one another. "Anyone going to tell me what's going on?"

"Richie peed the bed…" Greyson spoke up.

"Shut up!" Richie exclaimed, slamming his brother with both hands, sending Greyson flying nearly off his chair.

"Richard!" Meredith exclaimed as she caught Greyson before he fell to the ground.

"Mommy!" Greyson exclaimed as he gripped Meredith tightly and started to cry as Mark grabbed Richie's shoulder before he slapped Greyson again.

"What on earth was that all about?" Meredith asked, her face shocked at her son's anger, his cheeks were red and his teeth gritted.

"That's enough, Richard…" Derek spoke up, slapping his hand on the table. "We won't talk about that…"

"Stupid baby… stupid… stupid baby…"

Meredith cleared her throat as she positioned Greyson on her shoulder as he continued to cry softer. "Speaking of stupid baby…" Meredith sighed.

"Hey…" Derek said as he watched her eyes sparkle as he looked at her. She smiled.

"Okay… speaking of baby…"

"It's true, isn't it?" Mark whispered.

"She… took a test this morning…" Meredith said, a slow smile slipping across her face as she couldn't help but grin.

"Seriously?" Mark asked, his grin brightening.

"Seriously!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Seriously! What is going on?" Derek asked, his head going back and forth between his friend and his wife.

"Cristina is pregnant…." Mark smiled. The words made his smile even brighter. "Cristina is having…"

"Congratulations!" Derek exclaimed. "Two at once!" He exclaimed, getting Mark to laugh as his face turned bright red as he laughed.

"I think you can have credit for the first one… I'll take the second one…" Mark joked back as he accepted Derek's hug as he came around the table.

"You're going to be a daddy!" Derek exclaimed.

"I'm going to be a daddy…" Mark said as a tear escaped his eye.

"Uncle Mark can't be a daddy…" Richie said as he looked surprised. "He's my uncle…"

"Aunt Crissy's going to have a baby…" Meredith exclaimed.

"No…" Richie shook his head. "No she's not…" Richie exclaimed. "It's bad enough I have to share Uncle Mark with Greyson… he can't have a baby…"

"Richard, that's not nice…" Meredith said as she looked up at Derek, who gave her a nervous look.

"This is stupid." Richie said grumpily as he slid out from his seat and walked around the table to sit down away from Mark.

"Richie…" Meredith said with a sigh.

"No… I don't want to talk about it anymore.." He said as he buried his head in his arms on the table.

"Can I play with the baby too?" Greyson asked.

"Of course you can… but it's very early… so we're going to have to wait for a while…" Derek said as he continued to watch Richie pout.

"I guess that the other… erm… bombshell can't be dropped…" Mark said with a worried look.

"We're going to wait a little bit on that one, I think…" Derek said as he sighed.

"I think that's best…" Meredith cringed a bit. "Congratulations, Mark…" She said as she reached her hand out as Mark reached over and touched her hand. "You're going to make a great father…" She said as he held her hand tightly in his.

"Did she need me to come home?" Mark asked.

"She said that you're needed here more… but it's your decision, sweetheart… we appreciate all of your help."

"I'll talk to her." Mark replied. "Maybe we can come up with a compromise…" He said with a smile as he sighed, his eyes drifting to the little boy across the table, whose face was still down in his arms.

* * *

They visited for a while as the two boys became antsy from sitting still. Richie was glaring across the table at Mark and Greyson was insistent about getting up and moving around. "Mama… I want to see GG now." Greyson whined.

"We're never going to see GG!" Richie exclaimed suddenly, slamming his hand down on the table.

"Richard, that's enough." Derek said sternly as Richie glared at him.

"GG went to Florida, didn't she? She went to Florida and you don't want to tell me!" He exclaimed to Derek. "How could you let her go! How could you let her go without saying goodbye to me!" Richie exclaimed as he stood up.

"Richie… GG is not in Florida…" Derek said softly.

"Then I want to see her! I want to see her, now!" He sobbed as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I want to go home! I want to go home and see GG! I don't want to be here in Seattle no more! I want to go home! I hate it here! I hate it here, Daddy!" He exclaimed as he hiccupped, pushing away from the table. Derek knew that if he didn't grab the little boy soon, he was going to turn and run, and as soon as Derek thought it, Richie turned to run off. Derek reached across the table, nearly missing his arm, he caught him by the wrist and pulled him toward him.

"Where are you going to go, Richard?"

"I am going to find, GG!" He shouted. "I am going to find her to bring her home with me!" He sniffled.

"You're going to kidnap GG?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed.

"Richard…"

"I'm not a baby, Daddy… you can tell me that GG went to Florida…" He cried.

"Sweetheart…" Meredith said softly as she watched Derek and Richie talk.

"Mommy…" Richie whimpered. "I want to see her…I NEED to see her!" He whimpered.

"Then we'll go see her." Meredith said, her emotions getting the best of her, the sound of her son's sobs being awful for her to hear.

"Meredith… we can't… she's…"

"He wants to see his GG, Derek… I'm not going to deny him for one more second…" She said with an angry sigh as she stood and took his hand, leading him slowly from the cafeteria.

"I want to see GG too!" Greyson exclaimed as he leapt from his chair and ran across the cafeteria for his mother's other hand.

Derek and Mark exchanged a look. Derek's was one of exhaustion, filled with a perplexed sigh of issues to come. Marks was filled with an overwhelming feeling of responsibility and worry. "I…" Mark muttered.

"I have no idea." Derek sighed as he stood up and followed his family out of the cafeteria, followed by Mark.

* * *

Meredith walked down the hallway purposefully with her two boys, stepping into the elevator, she said nothing as Richie kept looking up at her. Her face was determined and he wiped away the tears in his eyes with his other hand as he watched Mark and Derek catch up. She pushed the button for the proper floor and they all were silent as they made their way toward the room that Derek had come out of. She took a sharp turn into one of the waiting rooms with them, and Richie looked back toward the door as they entered the room.

"Listen…" Meredith said as she pulled the two boys lightly as she sat down, releasing their hands, she reached for them again once she was in the chair. "Before… you boys go in there, mommy needs to talk to you…" She said with a sigh.

"Meredith, this is not a…"

"Shh…" She scolded as she looked up at her husband, who stopped talking immediately, the glare from Meredith was icy cold, and he needed to speak up, but he though it best to wait.

"Richie… Greyson… you know that GG was sick… right… Mama told you that she was sick…"

"Mama…" Richie whined.

"Listen to me… we talked about this yesterday… do you remember… Daddy said that GG had a boo boo inside her…"

"Wait!" Richie exclaimed.

"What, sweetheart?"

"Does this have to do with dinosaurs?" Richie asked, his mouth wide with surprise.

"Dinosaurs?" Meredith asked, glancing up at Derek, whose eyes widened.

"Yes!" Derek exclaimed, pulling his son slightly, he crouched down and faced him. "Richie… do you remember when we went into that room and looked at the pictures on the screen?"

"The brains…" Richie nodded, glancing to Meredith.

"Yep… remember that it had dinosaurs in it…"

"Derek…?" Meredith asked.

"Yes!" He exclaimed, excitedly now that he knew what was going on.

"GG… she…"

"GG HAD DINOSAURS IN HER BRAIN?" Richie exclaimed, his mouth widened, his eyes widened as he listened to his father.

"Derek, what are you…?"

"Shh…" Derek said to his wife, who scowled at him as he smirked, eliciting a laugh from Mark. "Richie… when GG got sick… we found some dinosaurs…" Derek shrugged. "And since daddy is a doctor… he was able to help get them out…"

"OH…" He sighed. "Oh… so the dinosaurs are gone?"

"Yes…" Derek said, watching Richie calm down.

"Thank goodness…" He sighed in exaggerated nervousness.

Derek turned around for a second and whispered something to Mark, who walked out of the room. Meredith watched curiously as he disappeared out the door and her attention went back to Derek as he talked to the boys. "So listen… we're going to put on some dinosaur proof suits… and we're going to go and see GG…"

"Dinosaur proof suits?" Greyson asked, looking at his father curiously as he held his big brother's hand.

"Yep… special hats and clothes so that we don't have to worry about any dinosaurs lurking about the room…" Derek nodded as Mark came in holding child sized hospital gowns and surgical caps and masks.

"Mark… I only asked for the hospital gowns…" He said with a chuckle.

"Hey, we're dealing with dinosaurs here… can't be too careful…" He said seriously with a smirk, glancing to Meredith who nearly laughed out loud. Derek unfolded the gown for Greyson as Richie put his own on and Meredith tied it in the back. Derek put the surgical caps on the two boys and carefully tied the masks around their mouths, nearly covering their whole face, Derek folded them in half and looked at the two boys as they watched their father carefully.

"Now what?" Richie asked, his eyebrows raised as he looked to Mark and back to his mother.

"Now we go in and see GG… but you have to remember… she had surgery… so you have to try to be real quiet… she's still sleeping…" Derek said as he watched the boys nodding. "You're going to hear lots of noises and see all kinds of tubes and wires and stuff that are on GG… they're there so that the doctors can be sure that the dinosaurs aren't coming back… they're for extra protection…since she was so sick…" Derek explained watching the boys nod. "If you get scared… just tell mommy or daddy and we'll make sure you make it out of there safely… so no running off… or running of any kind… understand?" He asked, watching the two boys nod.

"Are you ready?" Meredith asked them as she watched Derek look up at her. The two boys nodded and Meredith stood up carefully, taking Greyson's hand. Derek took Richie's hand and Richie and Greyson held hands between them. Mark stood back for a moment and watched them.

"Are you coming?" Derek asked softly.

"No… no… it's alright… I'll just… I'll stay here…"

"We can get you a dinosaur proof suit if that would make you feel better…" Meredith said with a smirk as he watched her ask him to come with them without words.

"I'm not afraid of no dinosaurs…" Mark pouted.

"Then come with us…" Meredith said with a soft smile. "I'll hold your hand…" She said, nodding toward the room.

Mark smiled a grateful smile and stepped forward. "I'll follow you inside…" He said with a chuckle as they walked toward the room.

"Wait…" Richie said as he stopped, looking up at his mommy and daddy. "You're not wearing dinosaur proof suits…" He said nervously.

"Well… I sprayed myself with anti-dinosaur spray… how about you, Mommy?"

"Yep… no dinosaurs are going to get me…" Meredith nodded.

"Are you sure?" Greyson whimpered nervously.

"I promise…" Derek said softly as he reached for the doorknob. "Alright…" He said softly as he slowly opened the door, leading his family into Ellis' room, one at a time, until they were all inside and the door slowly closed behind them.

* * *

They walked into the room slowly, the little boys were pulling back on their parent's arms slightly as the sights and sounds hit them. Derek looked down at his boys, dressed in their surgical garb and smiled at the curious look in their eyes, though he knew that fear was hiding within them as well.

"Where is she?" Richie asked as he pulled on the mask over his mouth slightly, being sure not to pull it off.

"Right over there, buddy…" Derek said as Richie released his brother's hand and let Derek lift him up, Greyson was lifted by Meredith as they both approached the bed. Mark stood back near the door, almost as if he were too afraid to approach. Derek stepped onto one side of the bed, and they looked down at Ellis.

The ventilator was still in her mouth, mask over her nose and mouth and her skin looked pale and pasty. Her hair was hidden by the gauze head wrap and the only solid thing the boys could see was her hands, and even they had an IV in one of them. "Are you sure that's GG?" Richie whispered.

"It's GG…" Derek whispered.

"She looks sad…" Richie whispered.

"She looks sleepy…" Greyson replied.

"Well, she's had a long couple of days… so she's pretty tired." Meredith whispered.

"We don't want to wake her up…" Greyson whispered back.

"Right…" Meredith nodded.

"That's not really GG, is it?" Richie said again, glancing to his father and back to his mother.

"It is…" Meredith replied.

"Tell her to wake up." Richie replied.

"Sweetheart, we need to let her sleep…" Meredith said softly.

"I don't believe it's GG. I can't see her hair…"

"Her hair is under the bandage, sweetheart." Meredith replied.

"She's not supposed to be sleeping, she's supposed to be in her office sitting at her desk yelling at doctors." Richie said indignantly, his brow furrowed in concern.

"She's the boss." Greyson replied.

"Hey…" Mark finally said as he approached the bed. All four of the Shepherd's attention was on him as he approached them timidly. "If this wasn't GG… then why is he here?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows as he pointed at the little brown bear sitting on the edge of her pillow with his own surgical mask that Derek had fastened on him.

"Snuggle bear…" Greyson smiled beneath the mask, the little corners of his eyes wrinkled in happiness as he saw the bear. "It is GG, Richie…" He said with a smile.

Richie looked down at the woman lying on the bed and back to Mark, and then back to the bear. He sighed as he scrutinized the situation and shook his head. "I don't know about this…" He sighed seriously.

"It is GG, Richie…" Greyson said as he reached for his brother. "It is…"

Richie sighed as he turned his head, burying his head in his father's shoulder for a moment, he could feel tears coming to his eyes and he wasn't able to stop them. "I wanna go home." He whimpered into his father's shoulder. "Daddy, take me home…" He whispered.

"I'm going to…take him out into the hallway…" Derek whispered. "Are you guys alright?"

"We'll be alright…" Meredith whispered as she watched her little boy trembling in his father's arms. She felt so helpless that she couldn't help him feel better. It was a sad time for everyone and it was going to be especially hard on the little ones. "Mommy loves you, Richard…"

"I love you, Mommy…" he whimpered as Derek slipped out into the hallway with the little boy grasping him tightly.

* * *

The afternoon slipped into evening, and that evening slipped into three more evenings as Ellis was eventually taken off the ventilator, and three more evenings slipped by after that. She was breathing on her own, and was off sedatives, though she was officially five days over the time that they had estimated she would be awake.

It had been six days since that evening in the hospital room when Derek held Richie in his arms in the hallway and let him cry, five days since Greyson asked to hold his GG's hand, four days since the sedatives had last gone through her system, three since the ventilator had been removed, two since Cristina had arrived, and one day since Meredith said that she couldn't stand to see her mother lying in the bed any longer.

Derek sat alone in the hospital room, the heart monitor pulsing softly in the background as he leaned over the small tray table with a handful of playing cards. "Do you have any aces?" He asked seriously as he looked up at the sleeping form, sighing he reached across the tray table to the group of cards that he had dealt to Ellis and looked through them. "Hey… you have an ace in here… and a seven… I asked you about sevens earlier…" Derek sighed as he tossed the cards on the bed. "You're such a cheater…" He mumbled as he rolled his eyes and put his head back. "You're better at Poker anyway… has anyone ever told you that you have a good poker face? Well, you do…" Derek said as he sighed and pulled a bottle of water from the small cooler that he had sitting beside the bed. "Want some?" He asked, waiting for a moment , he shrugged and sat back as he opened the cap and watched her, sipping at his water. "You're a lot more fun when you're bitching at me, Ellis…" Derek sighed.

He placed the bottle on the floor beside his chair and pulled the worn envelope from his pocket. He sat back in the chair and stared at the paper at his fingertips, the worn fold in the center from slipping it in and out of his pocket for the past six days, he glanced up at Ellis and watched as she slept.

"I remember… when I hated you…" Derek said softly as he tilted his head and looked to the door for a moment. He pushed the tray table from in front of him and slid his chair forward. "Ellis…" Derek said softly as he leaned slightly against the bed, he watched as she lay there, her body unmoving but for the gentle rise and fall of her chest. "Do you remember when I hated you, Ellis?" Derek whispered. "The day that I stepped into that hospital… was the day that I first had that thought… the way that you took control… the way that you thought that you knew everything and everyone else was below you… was your servant… was dirt… compared to you… I'm sure you remember that… it's the way that you carry yourself every day… Hard, tough… strong and resilient… even now, I bet inside your head, your tongue is still as sharp as a ginsu knife…" Derek said softly as he took her hand in his.

"I remember when I started at the hospital… how you rode us like a madwoman with a match chasing a tricycle doused in gasoline… there's a picture…" Derek chuckled. "But I know that I didn't always act like I respected you… especially after my father died… I held you personally…" He swallowed hard. "I held you personally responsible for taking the time away from my family that I thought that I deserved… and I know… now… that it was selfish of me to think that, Ellis… It was selfish to think that you wanted nothing more for me than to make me the best…" He said softly.

"I remember when I met Meri… Ellis… I remember that first Christmas…lying under the Christmas tree with her… as she told me her woes… told me her sadness… I remember that…" He whispered.

* * *

_The two of them lay beneath the Christmas tree for quite a while, their silent conversation ringing throughout the room as they tried to push aside the butterflies in both of their stomachs._

_I'm holding hands with a strange man. Why would I hold hands with a strange man? Well… he seems sincere, polite. He's still a stranger._

_Meredith began to withdraw her hand slowly, feeling his fingertips envelop her hand further. His head turned and she could tell that he was looking at her._

_"I'll listen to your story, but your hand needs to stay there." He said softly. "Sometimes there are parts of the story that can't be told out loud, but only through body language. I want to make sure I catch everything." He said softly._

_He's smooth._

_"Okay." She whispered. Her voice was small and nervous, though a quick glance to her side, she could see a mischievous smile. The same one that he had held when she walked downstairs and he had surprised her. "My story." She sighed, turning her face to the tree once again. "I have never had a Christmas even remotely as magical as the one that I witnessed today with your family." She whispered. "My Christmases were usually spent alone… maybe not alone, but with a family friend watching me… bringing me along with their family for their traditions and whatnot." She sighed. She turned her head to face him again. "My mother… is a very busy woman." She shook her head. "It's an awful excuse… to be too busy for Christmas… to be… to busy for your own child on Christmas. I mean… most people in her profession are able to find time for their families… their husbands, their children… but not my mother… her job is her life… it was and it still is, and it always will be. My parents divorced when I was five years old… so any semblance of Christmas before that… I don't even remember. But after that… it was just a day like any other day… I never met Santa… never had the joy of peeking from the top of the stairs to listen for reindeer… or that magical sound of bells… Did you ever notice how magical those jingle bells sound?" She asked, her eye sincere as she watched his eyes._

_"I do." He whispered, nodding his head softly as he listened intently. She could feel his thumb softly rubbing the side of her hand, and although it was starting to rise a heat in her like she had never felt before, she refused to move. It was a comforting feeling, a soft delicate thumb softly running across her skin. She could feel her face flushing as she lie there, and was thankful for the darkness of the room._

* * *

"I felt for her that night… you know? I… really felt connected to her… the way she spoke of her sad Christmases… I was so upset with this 'mother' that she spoke of, this nameless, faceless character who was cold hearted and mean enough to deny her child a proper Christmas… to deny her that happiness…" Derek sighed. "We bonded… and grew closer… and… and I'll never… ever forget finding out who this mother was… who her mother was… I don't think we ever told you my reaction…" Derek chuckled. "You'll appreciate this story…" Derek laughed as he squeezed her hand. "I had just gotten her onto the ice… her first time ice skating…" Derek began.

* * *

_"So are you going to taunt me?" Meredith asked, watching as he just looked from her feet to her eyes slowly._

_"No." He said with a smile. "I would never…Are you ready?" He asked._

_"Ready?" She asked. "I thought I was doing it." Meredith teased with a laugh._

_"Here… take my hand." He said, holding his hand out to her. She reached forward and grasped it tightly, her other hand firmly on the side. "Now give me your other hand." He said as he held his other hand to her. She gave him a suspicious look and after a moment, reached her hand to him. "I'll… go backwards… you go forwards…"_

_"How do I… go…?" She asked._

_"See the little ridges at the front of your skate… push off those…"_

_"Oh…" She whispered as she stood there, holding his hands for a moment._

_"Don't stare at your feet." He smiled. "Look at me."_

_"You."_

_"Mm…. hmm… me… just watch me…"_

_"Awfully vain of you, Derek." Meredith giggled as Derek pushed back a little, taking her with him slowly._

_"What can I say?" He asked with a small laugh. "I like to look good…" He said, watching her blush a little, his smile so bright that his eyes narrowed slightly, the colors of the Christmas tree above them shining down brightly. "Watch my eyes…" He whispered softly as he pushed back a little more, gliding them softly across the ice._

_"I'm doing it." She whispered._

_"You are…" Derek smiled._

_"I'm ice skating…" She laughed._

_"You're ice skating." He said, feeling her feet move in front of him as he glided them along. The children and his sisters and brother in laws were all skating quickly past him, but the only thing that he could see was the beautiful eyes staring straight into him. He suddenly felt warm all over, and his winter coat was making him sweat. His hands were warm under the gloves, only to be multiplied by the tight grip that she had on them. "Tell me something about you." He whispered._

_"Something about me?" She asked._

_"Yeah… what is… your favorite color?" He asked, pulling her along on skates. "Keep our minds off the skating…" He smiled._

_"My… favorite color is… purple…" She smiled._

_"Mm… purple." He smiled._

_"Yep."_

_"You're from Boston?" He asked._

_"Yep…" She replied with a grin. "Actually, Seattle… but I grew up in Boston."_

_"I work in Boston." Derek said softly._

_"You do…" She grinned. "That's a coincidence…"_

_"My mother is chief of surgery at Boston General." Meredith said, and watched as Derek's face went pale, his eyes widened. "Derek?"_

_"Your mother is…"_

_"Ellis Grey…" Meredith said, watching as suddenly, Derek lost his footing, flailing his arm, he flew backwards, grabbing her, he fell flat on his back onto the ice, smacking his head, Meredith following behind, landing on top of him. "Derek!" She exclaimed, feeling the rush of people coming to check on him._

* * *

"By the way… I was fine… thank you for asking…" Derek said solemnly as he watched Ellis for several seconds before continuing. "It gave me a perfect excuse to kiss her, by the way… so thanks for that…" Derek nodded. "That's right… I knew she was your daughter, and I still kissed her… I live to defy you, Ellis…" Derek chuckled as he sighed sadly, watching her lie there motionless. "My point is… that I always… always gave you the benefit of the doubt, Ellis… even when I hated you, I trusted you. I trusted that there was a reason for raising Meredith that way, and I trusted that there was a reason you put me through the wringer when I was dating Meredith…" Derek sighed, pausing for several moments as he held her hand.

"Ellis…" He said softly. "Ellis… it's been six days… you were supposed to be awake days ago…" Derek whimpered. "I…I am seriously… I am seriously at my wit's end… I can't even leave your room… Meri can't even come into your room… and the boys… they just want to sit in here and hold your hand, Ellis. They want you to be the boss again…" he sighed.

"Why did you have to give me this?" He asked, bobbing the envelope in his hand back and forth. "Why… the hell would you give me something like this…? You're not going to die, Ellis… You're not going to die… because I'm not going to let you… I'm going to sit here and tell you annoying stories until you wake up and slap me… telling me to shut up." Derek sighed. "You can't give up, Ellis… you have brain activity… I mean… you're probably just lying there thinking about how you came up with a cure for brain cancer but you're not going to tell anyone because then you wouldn't be needed anymore… Ellis… wake up…" Derek said desperately. "It's time to wake up…" He sighed.

He sat in silence, dropping her hand from his, he held the envelope in his hand and flipped it around. "There's probably not anything in here… you probably gave me a blank envelope…" Derek rolled his eyes, teasing. He flipped the envelope in his hand again, running his finger along the neatly scrolled text of his name on the front.

"You wrote this letter for a reason… most likely to taunt me…" He sighed. "That's what I love about you, Ellis Grey… the challenges you provide…" He sighed. "You're clever, witty, brilliant and perfect… and you know it… and I'm sure that this letter is nothing less than an exquisite example of that. I know you expect me to read this… no matter the outcome…and I wouldn't be surprised if it said 'this message will self destruct in five seconds'. " He chuckled. "Ellis… What do you want from me?" Derek whispered softly. "What am I to you? Guide me…" He whispered as he lay the envelope beside her hand, and stare at it silently as he listened to the gentle rise and fall of her breathing..

* * *

He sat there for hours, staring at the woman lying on the bed. Her chest rose and fell with each gentle breath, and her body remained still as he sat back in his chair and held the letter in his hand as he flipped it around in his fingers again.

"I can hear you daring me to open this, Ellis…" Derek whispered. "That snotty little know it all voice of yours… telling me… daring me to open it… challenging me even now…" He shook his head. "And I know what you're thinking… you know… that if I open the letter… that you get that free ticket to cloud nine…maybe you'd go to hell though… I'm sure you get to pick… both have deluxe accommodations, I'm sure…" Derek sighed.

"I don't want to open the letter, Ellis. I don't want to open it… and I'm not going to open it…" He sighed as he watched her rest. "You know I'm going to open it, don't you? You're an evil, evil woman…" Derek sighed as he smiled slightly. "I'm sure you already know that though. You've always been the boss." Derek sighed as he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.

"Ellis…" Derek sighed. He stared at the envelope for a few more seconds as he let his finger slip below the flap. "I want to hate you for doing this to me…" He whispered as he shook his head and ran his finger along the letter, carefully detaching the flap from the rest of the envelope. He tucked his finger into the envelope and swallowed hard. "But you know that I can't."

He very slowly pulled the letter from the confines of the envelope, immediately recognizing the cool, calm lettering of his mother in law, the way her words just scrolled together perfectly rounded and all at the exact same angle. He very gently unfolded the paper as he looked up at her. "You win." He whispered.

_Derek._

The letter started with just that simple word, and he could practically hear her speaking in his mind. The way his name slipped off her tongue delicately was nearly as breathtaking as the way her daughter spoke it. It held depth and breadth and it is known by just the tone of her voice, that everything after that word is serious business.

_If you are finding yourself reading this letter, Derek, it means that I have passed away. Well, it actually means that either I passed away, or you found the letter in my coat pocket and felt obligated to open it regardless, simply because your name was on the envelope. The envelope said you must wait, Doctor Shepherd. Didn't your mother teach you to follow directions?_

He chuckled at her scolding, smiling softly at the paper he thought about how only Ellis Grey had the ability to lecture him in her writing. He could just see the gentle smirk on her face when she wrote those lines, imagining the smirk on his when he read them. It was just so very Ellis. He swallowed hard and continued reading, finding himself completely enraptured by her words.

_Derek. As I write this letter right now, I want you to know that I am happy. I am sitting in the bed of the bedroom of which I started my journey into the world of medicine. I was married. I had a newborn girl, of which I loved and cherished from the moment she was placed in my arms, and I had the world at my feet. I battled my way through love, loss, divorce and regret. I have raised my child to be a strong, independent, truthful, intelligent, caring young woman. I watched her grow from a shy, innocent young girl to a rebellious teenager, to an independent young woman, to become a wife, a mother, and finally, to have her see me as a friend. _

_ I wish that I had the ability to take the credit for what she has become to me in my life. I wish that I could take the credit for the sparkle in her eyes, or the faith that she has in herself and in her family. I am much smarter than that, Derek. I am not a fool. You did this, Derek Shepherd, and don't you dare for a moment insult me and tell me that I'm wrong. I'm dead… or not dead, or something… it doesn't matter what I am, or was right now. What matters is that you were there for her, you are there for her, and you will always be there for her. That is one of the many reasons that I thought that I could do this, Derek. _

_ I thought that it was going to be simple. I thought that I could come here to Seattle and talk with Richard, talk to Thatcher, straighten things out here. I thought that I could shield Meredith from the pain and hatred and awful anger that I had been surrounded by here. I thought I could protect her once again. I thought that I needed to keep her from knowing who her father was, is. I thought that I could settle everything here in Seattle, and die peacefully in my sleep knowing that this was how it was, and I had no regrets._

_ You make nothing easy for me, Derek Shepherd. You have pushed and prodded and poked into every thought in my mind. You have gone to such great lengths to prove that you love me, that you love your family and that you need me in it. One might even say that it has bordered on torture, Derek. I can see you smiling, wherever I am. You think you're so damn clever, and I must admit, some of the things you have said to me since you found out have really touched me. I know that you love me, Derek. I know that you care about me, and I know that you want nothing more than for me to prove that it is reciprocated. You take personal offense in the fact that I will not save myself, and you took it so far as to bring my Meredith into all of this. _

_ I should hate you, or be angry that you pushed her into coming to Seattle. I should be upset at the pushing and the prodding and the frustration that you have been causing me, making this decision harder for me. When in reality, I should be thanking you, Derek. You brought her here not for you, though I could tell that you were aching inside just to see her. You brought her here for me, for her. You brought her here because you knew that I couldn't let her see me die. I didn't want to see that pitied look on her face, I couldn't bear to see the look of betrayal in her eyes when she stared into mine._

_ Meredith has left my room, which was why I decided to write this now. She came into my room with the two little princes. We read stories and talked and cuddled, and I can honestly say that it felt good. It felt good to have them near, to hear their voices, to feel the warmth of family around. It made me feel brave, confident and angry at myself, Derek, for doing this to my family. I am sitting here now on my bed beside my Richard and my Greyson, and I feel complete. I feel complete in a way that throws every feeling about dying out the window, and now all I feel is regret. I can't help but think…I can't die, Derek. I have too much to live for, too much that I missed because I was too busy being the best surgeon, that I haven't even begun to be the best grandmother._

_ I didn't die because of you, Derek. Whether you had a hand in the surgery or not, I didn't die because of you. I died because of me. Trust me. I'm the boss, I know these things._

_ Love Always, if not stubbornly,_

_ Mom._

Derek hadn't even noticed by the time he had finished the letter that tears were rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't even noticed the small hiccups that he gasped as he tried desperately to catch his breath as he sit alone beside the bed reading her words over and over again, his hand never leaving hers as he sat in an uninterrupted cradle of silence and peace.

* * *

The door to the hospital room opened slowly and a head peeked inside, followed by another. Mark held his finger to his lips as he faced the little boy, who nodded as they looked over at the bed. It was morning, and the nurses had been in to check on Ellis and take her vitals, and Derek had yet to move. He was sitting in a chair, slumped uncomfortably over the bed with his hand planted firmly in Ellis'. The bed was strewn with playing cards, and he held in his hand a half crumpled piece of paper, being held to his chest as his snore rattled softly against the bed sheets.

"Daddy's sleeping." Richie whispered softly into Mark's ear.

"He is." Mark chuckled quietly as he stepped farther into the room, listening to its soft click as it closed behind him.

"Should we wake him up?" Richie whispered back.

"Maybe we should…" Mark whispered back as he carried the little boy around the bed, panning their eyes carefully over the scene that played out before them. Derek's head lay upon the mattress, his face pressed into the sheets as his eyes twitched in a dream. His breathing was steady and relaxed, his hair was sticking straight up.

"He's so sleepy…" Richie said softly. "Mommy says he's cute when he sleeps…"

"Absolutely adorable." Mark teased as he tickled the little boy, who giggled out loud. He squealed and Derek's head lifted up, his eyes cloudy with sleep.

"Good morning, Daddy." Richie said with a laugh.

"Good morning, Daddy…" Mark said with a smirk as Derek reached up and ran his hands through his hair as he yawned.

"Good morning…" He squinted as he tried to figure out where he was. He looked down at his hand and found it intertwined in Ellis', the letter sitting in his other hand as he looked up at Mark and his son. "What are you guys doing here?" He mumbled as he cleared his throat, coughing as he looked over the bed at the two of them.

"Gambling, Derek?" Mark asked as he picked up a playing card and flicked it across at the yawning man.

"We were playing go fish…" He shrugged.

"How's her game?"

"She stinks…" Derek muttered as he shook his head.

"You alright?" Mark asked, watching Derek as he carefully folded the piece of paper in his hand and slide it into the envelope. "You read the…"

"Yes." Derek said quickly. "If she didn't want me to read it, she would have left it at the house." Derek pointed, watching Mark nod.

"You're just nosy…" Mark chuckled as he set the little boy down onto the bed. He crawled up and sat beside Ellis, taking her hand in his as he leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Good morning, GG." He whispered gently as Derek and Mark nodded. Derek turned away from the bed, and Mark walked around the bed to face Derek as they let Richie have some quiet time with Ellis. Since the ventilator had been removed, the little boy liked sitting beside his grandmother quietly whispering stories to her as she rest there. It calmed him down, and he would tell Meredith and Derek that he could tell that she was getting better.

Richie watched his father and Mark for a few minutes as Mark crouched before Derek. He watched his father talk in a low voice as he shook his head, his hands trembling as he talked quickly to Mark. Mark seemed to be soothing him, and Richie couldn't tell, but he thought that his father was crying. He looked down at Ellis and leaned down to kiss her cheek again. "I love you, GG." He whispered softly.

"I love you, my little prince…" Ellis' voice was as soft as the wind, her hand moving slightly as Richie nearly gasped. "Shh…" She whispered, her eyes opening for a moment as she winked her eye at him, a surprised and elated smile across his face as he looked up at his father and Mark and back down to Ellis, who had relaxed her hand and closed her eyes once again as the soft sound of her grandson's giggle drifted through the air.

* * *

Derek looked up at his son's giggle, the sound also grabbing Mark's attention as he stood up. "What are you giggling about over there?" Mark asked teasingly, watching the boy's face go completely blank, his smile disappearing immediately.

"Nothing…" He said innocently as his eyes moved to Ellis and back to the two men. "I was…"

"Were you telling GG a joke?" Derek asked as he stood up and walked toward the bed.

"Uh… Yes!" He exclaimed.

"What was the joke?" Mark asked as he watched the little boy glance between the two of them nervously, they couldn't tell what he was thinking, but their stares were starting to make him nervous about keeping Ellis' secret. Neither had seen Ellis move, or heard her whisper, so he was at quite an advantage, and tried to handle the situation as best as he could.

"Um…What's… um… the difference between God and a brain surgeon?" He asked, tilting his head at Mark and Derek as they looked at him puzzled, watching the smile creep across the little boy's face as he looked down at his grandmother as she reached up and grabbed his hand into hers.

"God… doesn't think … that he is a brain surgeon…" Ellis whispered loudly, her eyes opening slowly as she turned her head to face the two slack jawed men.

"GG taught me that joke!" Richie said excitedly as he watched them continue to just stare at Ellis. "Wanna hear another one?" He asked as Ellis turned her head slightly, her eyes moving to him as she tugged his hand a little.

"Give… them a minute… sweetheart…" She whispered raspily. "I don't think… they have… recovered from the last… one yet…" She said as she held her hand toward Derek.

"Good morning, GG." Richie said as he leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"Good morning, babe…" She whispered.

"You've been sleeping for a long time." He nodded as he watched Mark and Derek still struggle to move or find words, or speak.

"Ellis." Derek croaked.

"Doctor Shepherd." She whispered. "You… look… like crap…"

"So do you." Derek croaked out. "Where the hell have you been?" He asked, elbowing Mark, who stopped staring.

"Doctor Grey." Mark said with a half smirk. "You're alive…"

"Thank you… for… reaffirming that for me… Doc…Doctor Sloan." She struggled as she cringed slightly from the achy feeling in her body. "I… thought I had died… and gone to heaven… when…I saw… Richard here…" She mumbled. "Then I heard your… voice… and knew that… it wasn't true…" She said, closing her eyes.

"I'm going to go get Meredith…" Mark said suddenly as he leaned forward and kissed Ellis on the cheek. "Welcome back, chief…" He said with a grin as he turned and ran from the room.

"Derek…" Ellis whispered, watching him continue to stare at her in disbelief. "Derek…?" She whispered again, gaining no response from him yet.

"Daddy… GG is talking to you…" Richie said softly, watching his father's eyes fill with tears as he just watched his grandmother. "Daddy?"

"Richard…" Ellis whispered. "Can you… ask the nurse… for some ice chips for… GG, please?"

"Okay…" Richie said as he slid from the bed, hopping to the floor, he ran around the bed to his father and pulled on his arm. "Go see GG, Daddy. I bet she missed you too." He said quickly before he ran to the door to find a nurse.

Derek stepped forward as he grabbed his chair suddenly and moved it up to the bed, he sat down and began to quickly gather the playing cards from her bed, he tried to figure out what to say, busying himself with the cards, he suddenly felt her hand on his arm. "Derek…" She whispered.

"I…I..." He swallowed hard as he stopped.

"Can I tell you… something?" She whispered, pulling his arm, he put the cards down and moved in closer. He reached for her hand and took it tenderly as he leaned his head to the side and listened to her words come out slowly, mumbled and sometimes disconnected. "I…did… see the light, Derek…I saw… the end coming. I had a dream that I was standing at the pearly gates of heaven… and asked me if… I had any regrets. I said no. I had apologized…I had repented, I had come to terms… with it all… and he told me…that the only thing worse than anything that I had ever done… to anyone in… my past… would be… to die on that… table… your table…Derek." She whispered. "I couldn't… do that to you… Derek… I love you too much." She whispered.

Derek swallowed hard as he carefully stood up over her bed. He leaned down carefully and kissed her cheek, reaching his arm to embrace her in the best way possible without hurting her. "I love you too, Mom." He whispered delicately into her ear as he kissed her cheek again. "Please…live forever…" He whimpered as he began to cry against her, her hand gently rubbing across his back as he let the stress drain from his body as he cry.

* * *

Meredith was feeling exhausted. She lay on the couch staring at the ceiling while the world seemed to be moving quickly around her. "Mama… please come play…" Greyson whispered as he reached for her hand.

"Where's Aunt Crissy?" She whispered, her eyes half filled with tears as they had been for the past six days.

"She… I don't know." He shrugged.

Suddenly, the door burst open, sending Meredith and Greyson jumping as Mark burst into the room. "Meredith!" He exclaimed, completely out of breath as if he had run a marathon. There was a grin on his face and he couldn't speak, but she watched the look in his eyes and sat up.

"Mark?"

The door to the kitchen opened and Cristina stepped out. "Mark!" She scolded.

"UNCLE MARK!" Greyson exclaimed as he ran toward him, and was scooped up.

"Get… up… hospital… get… Ellis lets…"

"Enunciate!" Cristina exclaimed.

"Ellis is awake!" he exclaimed as he ran toward the couch and reached his hand out to Meredith. "She's awake and talking… we have to go…"

"She's…"

"She's awake… come on!"

"YAY! YAY! YAY!" Greyson squealed as he threw his arms in the air and squealed in delight as he was whisked away to the car, with Cristina and Meredith behind him.

* * *

Derek sobbed into Ellis' arms for a long time, his body trembling as she held him. The door opened and a nurse walked in with Richard, holding a cup of ice chips. "Ms. Grey…" The nurse said softly as she watched the man holding the older woman, absolutely distraught.

"GG, we brought you your ice chips..." Richard said as his eyes widened in surprise. "Daddy…" he said as he rushed to the side of the bed.

"Daddy… is just… happy…" Ellis explained as she continued to rub Derek's arm with her hand. "It's okay…"

"Happy? Daddy's crying… you can't cry when you're happy…" Richie sighed, tears starting to roll down his eyes as he sniffled.

"Oh… yes… yes you can…" She said with a smile as she held her hand out for Richie. She looked up at the nurse and gave her a grateful smile as she held her cup of ice chips as Richie climbed up onto the bed and cuddled with her, tears running down his face. "Thank you…" She whispered as she held the two boys.

"Do you need anything else?" She whispered. "Your doctor will be in soon… we'll page him…"

"This… is my doctor…" Ellis whispered, nodding toward Derek as he continued to cry. "Even… the strongest need… a break sometime…" She said softly as the nurse nodded politely and left them together.

* * *

Derek's tears finally slowed, his mind was finally able to catch up with his emotions as he pulled himself away from Ellis. "I'm so mad at you…" He whispered into Ellis as he shook his head against her shoulder.

"Hey… I needed… to catch… up on… my sleep." She whispered.

"Six days, Ellis."

"I was out… for six days?"

"Six days…" Derek whispered.

"It was torture!" Richie exclaimed, feeling his grandmother pull him even closer to her.

"I read the letter." Derek said as he pushed himself away from her and looked into her eyes. "Why would you do that to me?"

"Write you… a letter?"

"Yes." He sighed. "Why wouldn't you write a letter to Meredith… to your grandchildren… why me? Why did you have it with you? Why would you carry that with you?"

"Derek." She turned her head as she watched him. She could see the worn and torn look in his eyes, the bags beneath them. She looked at the stubble on his face, the way he looked so absolutely exhausted, so broken, so distraught. "I…I did write Meredith a letter, Derek." She said watching him. "But it wasn't time… for her… to read… it." She whispered. "You… needed to read that… it was for now… I knew…"

"You knew that I wouldn't wait."

"I knew that I wasn't going… to die…"

"You said you were scared."

"I was…"

"But… if you…"

"I was scared… of being wrong… Derek."

Suddenly, the door burst open and Meredith came running into the room. "You're awake…" She said, her face looked exhausted, a brilliant smile across her face as the door opened again and Mark stepped in with Greyson, followed by Cristina.

"GG! I MISSED YOU!" Greyson exclaimed excitedly.

Ellis smiled as she watched the little boy wiggle in Mark's arms and finally be released as he ran to his grandmother's bedside and climbed onto the chair.

"Be careful… be careful…" Meredith said as she stepped forward to help her eager little boy make his way onto the bed. "Be careful… you don't want to hurt GG." She whispered as she stepped up to the bed too and looked down at her mother as Derek climbed from the bed and reached for her hand, taking it in his. "How are you feeling, Mom? We missed you." She whispered.

"I feel like…I could live… another three hundred… years…" She said with a half laugh as she winked at Derek as he started to laugh.

The end...


End file.
